Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Off Purpose or Needy?

Whenever we are critical, belligerent, afraid, depressed, doubtful, unhappy, we are needy.

We need to remember our purpose and live it.
We need to stop judging and comparing ourselves and others.
We need to ask for help and allow ourselves to receive.
We need to let go of old memories and resentment.
We need to stop feeling guilty.
We need to take better care of ourselves.
We need to admit our mistakes and ask forgiveness.
We need to open up and love more.
We need to move on down the road of life.
We need to cease allowing ourselves to be in a toxic environment.
We need to be grateful for what we have.
We need to express our natural joy and creativity.
We need to acknowledge our neediness.
We need to relax our need to control and get our own way.
We need to undo negative habits and addictions.
We need to learn more and teach more love and respect.
We need to take responsibility for our thoughts, our feelings and our behavior.
We need to stop our behavior, respect our situation and listen within for direction.

I see my more negative emotions as wakeup calls.
They are teaching me to stay conscious, be responsible and choose again.

Loving you and me to be free,
Betty Lue

Monday, November 29, 2004

Do You know How to Be Happy?

It dawned on me this morning in the shower that I know how to be happy.
As I was up at 2:45AM getting ready to be with Gia (one hour’s drive from here) and spend the morning in her classroom helping…that I know how to be happy everyday, but you may not.
I remind you often about choosing happiness, as though you practice happiness everyday like I do.

Alas, there may be a mystery to some about how to be happy and how to sustain happiness.
A friend of mind Rhonda Hull has written a fun book, “Driving Yourself Happy”.
I will be offering a 12 week program this winter on the many “Paths to Happiness”.
There are many philosophies and programs that invite humanity to find happiness.

If you have never known true happiness, it would be difficult to cultivate the path to being happy.
If you have been happy and lost it, you may be feeling discouraged and doubtful about sustaining it.
If your happiness is dependent on outside circumstances or people, you may fear losing it.
If your happiness is conditional on what you have accomplished and how you feel, you are at risk.

Happiness is a choice, a preference.
Happiness is an attitude, a state of mind.
Happiness is the conscious choice to love and trust no matter what occurs.
Happiness is being grateful for what you have, rather than focusing on what is missing.
Happiness is experienced with inner peace.
Happiness is loving you and life and all creation.
Happiness is having no judgments, and living with acceptance of what is.
Happiness is recognizing the adventure and learning opportunities in life.
Happiness is appreciating the beauty and miracles all around us.
Happiness is being grateful for the simple blessings of everyday life.
Happiness is letting go of bitterness, pain, judgment, guilt and resentment.
Happiness is clearing from heart and mind what limits, criticizes and scares us.
Happiness is consciously choosing the best thoughts and activities for ourselves everyday.

Happiness is not the choice of those who despair never finding lost happiness again.
There are those who prefer to remember hurts and disappointments to protect and defend themselves.
There are those who experience innocence and happiness as dangerous states of mind.
There are those who fear the judgment and jealousy of others who are unhappy.
There are those who believe growth only comes through trial, pain and suffering.
There are those who find comfort in the familiarity of depression, anger and self-pity.
There are those who find their thoughts and emotions lead them into despair.
There are those who simply are unwilling to take responsibility for the choice to change.
There are those who are too lazy to clear the habit of unhappy thinking and feeling.
There are those who seem to prefer to belong to an unhappy culture.

Happiness is a spiritual practice.
Happiness requires an investment of time and energy.
Happiness is available to all who listen and watch for goodness and love.
Happiness is an invaluable gift of life given to everyone, but only received by a few.
Happiness is here for you right now, no matter what your circumstances.
Your choice is your right and responsibility.
So choose the best you know for you.

Loving you,
Betty Lue

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Holiday Heaven, Haven or Hell?

You can make the holidays what you really want.
First, clearly envision the experience you want to have.
Next, ask those you wish to join you, to be willing,
Third, contribute ideas and inspiration, enthusiasm and willingness to work toward your desired outcome.
Start now to envision, believe, commit and communicate, prepare and participate.
It may take focused time and attention, but the results are worth it.

Every day we are choosing the experience we have.
Our choices influence our attitudes, our relationships, communication, purchases, diet, productivity, memories and our emotional state.
When we have unfocused time to think, ponder and contemplate, we can allow our mind to drift to unhappy memories or focus on joys, successes and blessings.
When we wake up in the morning, we can choose to be grouchy, critical and anxious or happy, curious and delighted.
When we relate to others, we can choose to be open-minded, appreciative and respectful or opinionated, judgmental and negative.
When we shop or eat, we can choose to give attention to quick fixes and temporary pleasures or be thoughtful, healthy and loving in our selections.

The Holidays offer opportunities to take time to focus on what we really want.
Some possibilities for your consideration:
Focus on the experience you seek: peaceful, loving, joyful, beautiful, caring, easy.
Choose those who wish to share your experience: friends, those in need, spiritual folks, celebrants.
Select the energy or ambience you seek: silent, sacred, playful, generous, ritual, feasting, lifting, etc.
Be selective about where you go, what you do and with whom in order to fulfill your desired experiences.
Take time to write down exactly what events, dinners, gifts and parties seem in alignment with your holiday choices. Be prepared to respectfully decline the rest.

It is possible for you to develop a holiday mission statement to remind yourself and declare to others what shapes your choices.
For example:
“Thank you for the invitation. This year I am choosing to spend a more quiet and sacred holiday.”
“While I usually purchase gifts for my family, this year I would like to do something different and more meaningful. I will be donating to a Wildlife reserve to save some hunted animals from extinction.”
Or, “This year I won’t be attending the huge whole family dinner. I will be spending Christmas Eve with my church family. And I want to spend quality time with each of you to really share, I will be inviting you for a meal."
“I have decided to stop spending money on often unneeded gifts and give gifts to homeless children, in honor of the family love we share.”
“I want to begin a new tradition of expressions of gratitude and love to one another before we open any presents.”
Or, “Let’s each bring one gift for the grab bag exchange and trade, to make it all more playful and less expensive.”

There are many more novel ideas. Be creative. Start with what you want to experience and give.
You can create these holidays being holy, happy and healthy for you. This is a great gift to others.
Loving you.
Betty Lue

Note: I will be offering a three week class on Honoring the Holidays at Unity this year. Join me in Spirit if not in person.

December 5 Values: What Really Matters
Creative Solutions offices, 140 Mayhew Way #1000, Pleasant Hill
First Sundays, 2 PM-4 PM. Contributions appreciated.

Honoring the Holidays
Dec. 1 Handling Stress with Simplicity
Dec. 8 Healing Sadness with Sincerity
Dec. 15 Creating Hope with Serenity
Wednesdays, 7PM At Unity Center of Walnut Creek. Love Offering.

Creative Solutions 140 Mayhew Way #1000, Pleasant Hill, CA 800-919-2392

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Family Rights and Responsibilities

Parents, grandparents and children have different functions and roles to play.
Parents are the role models and teachers of the highest order.
When parents fall into unconscious habits of disrespect or irresponsibility, children learn.
Parents’ responsibility is to respect themselves and their children with their thoughts, words and behavior.
Getting drunk, swearing, being mean or abusive is not respectful.
Squandering money, gossiping and talking negatively is not respectful.
Hurting other’s feeling, rejecting, scaring and offending family members is not respectful.
Teasing, manipulating, intimidating and controlling others is not respectful.
Talking about children in hurtful ways is not respectful.
Behaving in ways which are not what you want for your children is not respectful.
Treat children the way you want to be treated…with love, dignity and respect.

Our children are watching adults on TV, in stores, at work and especially at home.
What they see, they learn is acceptable behavior.
What they hear, they believe is acceptable language.
What they feel, they believe is normal.

Children are meant to be happy and healthy and carefree.
Children are meant to dream, to explore, to play, to learn and to take responsibility for themselves.
Children are meant to live in a world of safety, belonging, confidence building and success.
Our children are our greatest investment in our future.
They must be considered in all we do and say and create.

If what the adults do causes emotional or physical pain, the adults need to choose again.
If adults are imposing their will on others, children learn to do the same.
If children are ignored, they feel diminished in value.
If children are talked about as though they were not present, they feel invisible.
If children are presented with conversation that is inappropriate, they feel confused and frightened.
Respect within a family grows from listening first and responding with kindness and consideration.

As an elder in our society, I am aware that my voice may be meaningless to those who disrespect elders.
As an elder I am aware that my wisdom and spiritual guidance may be deemed outdated and irrelevant.
As a sage, I am aware that my thoughts and words may be dismissed by those who need to be correct.
This I understand and accept and give my peaceful blessing.
However, wherever I am invited, requested and welcomed, I share that which I know, I see and feel.
Thus I am valuing ageless wisdom, myself and those which whom I commune.
And where I Am in relationship with anyone, I continue to give the best I know, in thought, word and deed.
And this is Good.

Loving you with a heart that is true,
Betty Lue

Friday, November 26, 2004

More on Peaceful Resolution

If you often find yourself in arguments or getting angry with others , consider the following:
You may be in a habit of getting your way by fighting and overpowering.
You may believe that you will be hurt, if you don’t fight for what you want.
You may believe that your needs are more important than others.
You may think the only way to stand up for what you want is to fight.
You may lack the confidence and self-esteem to be respectful in your communication.
You may believe that you are right and others are wrong.

Listen first.
Seek to understand.
Ask open questions.
Stand in the other person’s shoes.
Be willing to accept their perspective.
Seek honesty and integrity.
Express values.
Find common ground.
Look for similarities and places of agreement.
Take time to reflect.
Avoid hasty rebuttal.
Choose non-hostile words.
Be respectful of yourself and the other.
Build mutual respect.
Use common courtesy.
Be appreciative and open-minded.
Choose willingness rather than stubbornness.
Look for places of agreement.
Take a break when emotions take over.
Ask clearly for the outcome you want.

Do not threaten or intimidate.
Do not talk over the other person.
Do not bully or badger.
Do not nag or make your request more than once.
Do not tease or humiliate the other person.
Do not take your conflict into public.
Do not get others to join you in ganging up.
Do not name call or embarrass.
Do not shame or blame others to get their agreement.
Do not seek to win at another’s expense.
Do not use force, punishment or pain to get your way.
Do not harm physically or psychologically.
Do not attempt resolution when you are still angry.
Do not assume you are right.
Do not invade other’s space, physically or emotionally.
Do not talk down or belittle.
Do not use other material or past incidents to convince.
Do not believe that obedience is a positive outcome for the future.
Do not believe that getting your way this time will lead to future obedience.

It is the conscious, mature and respectful person who can easily follow the “Do’s”
When there is to be healing and resolution, it is up to the most conscious one. SO BE IT.

Loving you,
Betty Lue

This Sunday we will host a Spiritual Cinema Circle fro 2-5PM in our home.
All our welcome for viewing and discussion. Contribution welcome.
Please call. Space is limited.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Happy Thanksgiving!

Are you a “Thanks” giver or a “Thanks” taker?
Do you give your “Thanks” easily and often?
Or are you seeking approval, appreciation and gratitude from others?

Gratitude is the most powerful cure for depression, hopelessness, loneliness, negativity.
Gratitude heals fear and hurt, anger and resentment.
Gratitude opens the mind to joy, spirituality and creativity.
Giving “Thanks” is a gift to the giver.

Life is for giving.
You are the gift.
It is in giving the gift of your self and your gratitude
That you realize the gift of Love you are.
Give Thanks easily and often.
Feel how present you are.
For to be grateful is to be present.
To be present is to give the gift of your Presence.
So be Thankful for you and thankful for now.

I am thankful for you.
You are there right now with me, as I receive this reminder.
I am thankful for this moment, easily flowing the words I hear.
I am thankful for this computer, so I can quickly share with you the Love I feel.
I am grateful for this feeling..open and present, natural and alive.
I am grateful we are together on this planet, to learn and love, to laugh and let go.
I am grateful for the full moon, the sun and the stars, the majesty of the Universe.
I so appreciate awakening each day to whatever comes, myriad opportunities to love.
I appreciate the air I breathe, the water I drink and cleanse my body, the food I eat with respect.
I appreciate the many ways I am given to love, to serve to remember the Oneness of it all.
I appreciate my body for being a useful tool for extending love.
I appreciate my mind for creating endless ways to communicate love.
I appreciate my Spirit for inspiring me to share abundantly the hope and faith and Love I know.
I am so grateful the more I give, the more I have.
The more I have the more I give.
And so Love grows.

I am thankful to be in Loving communication with you Now and Always.
Betty Lue

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Resolution of Differences

There are differences of belief, personality, emotion, ideas, choices, values and lifestyles.
Where there are differences, there will be conflicts.
Conflicts often result in stress, fear, unhappiness, and pain.
Therefore it is usually beneficial to resolve conflict.
Methods of conflict resolution may be mature and helpful or immature and destructive.
The method chosen may be the result of emotion, attachment, maturity, knowledge and consciousness.

Right now it appears we are in the middle of many conflicts, ie. internal wars, disagreements with others, lawsuits, misunderstandings, family feuds parental struggles and wars between nations.
These can be resolved in a mature neutral and win/win manner for the benefit of everyone.
But usually they are unresolved with destructive fighting, arguments, polarization, both parties feeling hurt and misunderstood. When one party loses, the other party may feel like a winner, but will lose in the long run. They lose trust, respect, integrity and feelings of safety with others.

Those caught in the middle may feel hurt, lost, despairing.
Often children are used to get even in divorces.
Often mediators are unappreciated by both parties striving to win.
Often the destructive patterns of anger, badgering and bullying are so habitual, they are tolerated.
Often the conflict seems to be resolved only to flare up again, until both parties seek peace.

To resolve conflicts:
Gather facts…Listen to both sides and write down what they believe they need.
Seek an outcome that both parties can agree to: ie.peaceful resolution, both sides feel satisfied, etc.
Check out accuracy, as values differences often are misinterpreted.
Note where there are differences in perception and values (almost always).
Invite both sides to establish fair rules of engagement and discussion.
No interruptions, respectful language, stating thoughts, choices and perceptions from “I” position.
No blaming, staying focused on the desired outcome and on resolution of topic at hand.
Brainstorm and write down 30 possible solutions with no criticism of any.
Go through the list allowing evaluation and elimination of any that are unacceptable to either party.
With the few potential solutions left, invite a discussion of how they could be most effectively and harmoniously implemented on a trial basis with a scheduled follow-up evaluation.

Probably the single most important preliminary to conflict resolution is that both parties want and believe the conflict can be resolved fairly. Where this is agreed, it can be achieved. When either side believe that resolution is impossible, they will sabotage any possible resolution or agreement.

Currently our culture is promoting fighting rather than dialogue.
Our government is demonstrating “might makes right” and use of threat and power.
Our legal system expresses desire for justice, but uses deceit, hidden information, and dishonesty.
Our corporations are often guided by greed rather than by consumer satisfaction and safety.
This may be because we seem to have a preponderance of immaturity, greed and need to win at all costs.

If you are inclined to fight for what you want or get angry, blame and intimidate others, ask yourself:
What are my values?
What is fair for me and others?
Do I know how to negotiate to seek a win-win for all?
Am I willing to find a peaceful resolution and stop fighting?
Would I rather defeat my opponent or create a fair outcome for all?

We can bring peace to our families, to politics, to competitive sports, to our workplace, to the world.
Betty Lue

More practical tools tomorrow.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Feeling Lethargic?

Sometimes the ways we feel is a result of what we eat.
Sometimes it is the result of our judgments and fears.
Sometimes it is the outcome of our activity or inactivity.
Sometimes it is a request for a change.
Sometimes it is merely a momentary wakeup call.
Sometimes it is merely a weather change to be accepted and appreciated.

Our feelings are a wakeup call, inviting us to choose again for what we value and what we envision for ourselves and our world.

Life is like a strand of pearls, each one a choice to give voice to what matters to us.
For when we choose, we give ourselves the opportunity to see our creation.
What we see is a gift to be appreciated, or a mis-creation to be forgiven.
Whatever we experience is a call to take responsibility and to choose for what we value.
Vision is your gift. Look toward what you want to be.
Forgive and erase what is behind you.
Release your judgments and your fears.
Clear your vision to see what you choose to be.
Then step forward in faith, love and appreciation for what is.

Live each day with value and vision.
Betty Lue

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Life’s Journey

Where are you in your journey of awakening?
How much do you stay awake and aware?
How lazy are you in remembering your true purpose?
How much do you seek to get what you want, rather than give what you have?
How willing are you to dare to dream?
How unwilling are you to honor your inner call?
How little do you give in order to get what your think you want?
How much are you entitled to have without investing it All?
How fulfilled are you with every idea, expression and creation?
Are your creations beautiful, good and healthy for you?
Are your values helpful and kind, meaningful and enjoyable?
Is your life rich with possibility and promise or devoid of freedom and creativity?
Where are you going and do you know you will get there?
Does your security lie in bank account, investments, temporal things and people?
Are you experiencing disappointment and disillusionment because life changes?
Is your happiness really your responsibility?
Does your life matter to everyone everywhere?

So many questions to ask….
To find what is missing.
So little to do
To remember Who I Am.
So much life to enjoy
When I appreciate what I have.
So many choices to make
When I know my Happiness inspires All.

Loving you,
Betty Lue

Friday, November 19, 2004

No One Is a Stranger

Where there is fear, everyone is a stranger.
Where there is judgment, no one can be trusted.
Where there is resonance, fear can be dissolved.
Where there is love, everyone is friend.

When you meet someone new, how do you relate?
When you visit an old friend, how do you reconnect?
When you hire a new employee or service provider, how do you get to know them?
When you find a new doctor, therapist, life coach, how do you make the choice?

When you greet someone with love, appreciation and open-mindedness, they respond.
When you listen to someone with open mind and welcoming Spirit, they respond.
When you encourage someone to share with a smile and inviting words, they respond.
When you trust your intuition and believe people give their best, they respond.

This big world can feel very unsafe, unfriendly and non-supportive.
Life can be difficult, dangerous and serious.
Relationships can be disappointing, challenging and dangerous.
And with distrust and fear leading our choices, we may feel alone.

Make each new encounter an opportunity to explore how to connect.
Make each relationship a chance to begin again.
Make each reconnection a place of renewal.
Rely on appreciation and welcoming love to open the doors.

Watch what happens when you invite others to share themselves freely.
Watch what develops when you reach out with appreciation and love.
Watch what friendships grow when you begin with trust and freedom.
Watch how effect it is to relinquish your fear and judgment.

Without fear and judgment, everyone can become friend.
Without fear and judgment, relationships become a place of appreciation.
Without fear and judgment, life is full of connection and resonance.
Without fear and judgment, there are no strangers, only friends you have not yet met.

Loving the joy of traveling and meeting new friends,
Betty Lue

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Cleanliness Is Healing and Revealing

Whether cleaning the body, the mind or the space in which you live, you will benefit.

Some say that our outer environment reflects our inner space.
If our physical space is cluttered, it may reflect a cluttered mind.
When we have a cluttered mind, we may have difficulty with memory, learning and creativity.
When we have a cluttered home, we may have difficulty with memory, learning and creativity.
Congestion in any part of our lives will block the natural flow of energy.
Congestion on our roads hinders the flow of traffic.
Congestion in our digestive track hinders the flow of nutrients to our bodies.
Congestion in our work space may hinder our focus and productivity.
Congestion in a child’s room may hinder the flow of relaxation and play.
Congestion in living areas may hinder the free flow of conversation.
Congestion in hallways may block the flow of individuals to seek their ideal place to be.
Congestion in our closets and basements may feel heavy, burdensome and a weight.

When we have only as many things as we can care for well, we feel responsible and successful.
When we have only as many responsibilities as we can handle well, we feel successful.
When we have only as many primary relationships as we can love well, we feel happy.
When we have only as many bills as we can pay for honestly, we feel in integrity.
When we have only as much information as we can use beneficially, we feel knowledgeable.
When we have only as much stuff in our lives as we really value, we feel prosperous.

Clean out the cobwebs in your house and in your mind.
Clean out outdated papers from your files and from your mental archives.
Clean out the clothing and household goods that you have not used within the recent past.
Clean out the jackets, coats, boot and shoes that are no longer useful.
Clean out your extra linens and bedding to be given to those in need.
Clean out the tools and equipment from garage, basement and attic that you no longer use.
Clean out your cleaning stuff, prescriptions and bathrooms of out-dated and unused stuff.
Clean out your files, your desk, your library.
Clean out everything that no longer serves your life purpose and highest good.
Clean out your congestion, your excess, your environmental pollution.
Clean out what is no longer valuable and no longer brings peace and joy.

Let go and watch the flow open up.
Let go and allow inspiration to flow in.
Let go and be aware of how much gratitude you feel.
Let go and see what the open space invites into your life.
Let go and enjoy the relief and peace.
Let go and see the natural beauty and goodness in what really is valuable for you.

Whether fasting, purification of mind or cleaning my closets, I notice the freedom and gratitude I feel.
When stuck or congested, try cleaning.
Betty Lue

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Why Medicate?

When we have a healing crisis, anxiety, depression or pain, we find a way to “fix” it.
When we are in need, we find a way to “fill” it.
When we have a disease or illness, we find a way to “cure” it.
When we have emotional distress, we find a way to “suppress” it.
We usually use the quickest cheapest and most convenient way to get on with life.

When children are acting out in the classroom, we look for ways to medicate.
When people are having difficulty focusing and learning, we consider medication.
When folks have joint, muscle or headache, we usually take medication.
Medication is available, inexpensive, little thought, and requires no change of outside conditions.

Our cultural norm is to eliminate pain and problems.
Our usual desire is to get rid of the distraction.
Our primary focus is to avoid obstacles to our desired outcome.
We usually choose to consider the “problem” as an irritation and interference.

A healing crisis may be a request to rest.
Anxiety can be an invitation to find inner peace.
Depression asks us to give expression.
Pain says give me loving attention.

Is it all a wakeup call, inviting us to look again, choose again and recreate anew?
It will take more time to stop, look and listen.
It will require more consideration to respect the deeper request.
It will invite more love and attention to create anew what is truly highest and best you.

Change of diet is often super helpful.
Change of environment usually works well too.
Change of activities provides for encouragement.
Change of emotional support can open new possibilities.
Change of attitude can really make the difference.

When we are accustomed to taking a pill, we may have forgotten how to listen within.
When we get used to depending on an expert’s advice, we may deny our inner awareness.
When we rely on making ourselves the victim, we forget what can heal.

It is possible that the age of quick fixes has caught us in a bind.
It is possible that depending on someone else to heal us makes us helpless.
It is possible that we make the “problem” wrong, rather than see it as a request for creative solutions.
It is possible that we seek and expect problems, rather than offer healthy solutions.

Before we medicate, we can contemplate, “What could I choose that would be better for me?”
What environment would be more conducive to my happiness, inner peace and learning?
What relationships would support me being healthy in my diet and activity?
How can I live and give myself what is truly best for me everyday in everyway?

Yes, medications are a godsend.
They provide incredible relief for pain, fear and disease to many.
However, there is a need to improve our quality of life.
Let us use all of life as a wakeup call and live in integrity with what is our highest call.

Loving you,
Betty Lue

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

The Dark Before the Dawn

Have you ever noticed that right before the coming of the light seems to be the greatest dark?
Have you noticed that before your birthday you may experience an emotional melt down?
Have you been concerned about the anxiety before a big event?
Have you seen how obstacles may arise before you embark on a new adventure?

Some see this as egoic resistance.
Some believe there is pre-miracle anxiety.
Some find that clinging to the past keeps us resisting the future.
Some experience the chaos that occurs when great changes are imminent.

You may find that we as a nation are becoming more restrictive, protective and ruled by fear.
You may find that there is economic, health and political crisis and concern.
You may find that there is an diminished hope and more talk of the “end times.”
You may find that there is increasing polarization, righteousness, and hostility.

Perhaps this is merely the sign of something healing in the wind.
Perhaps we are truly about to enter a new age, the Aquarian Age.
Perhaps we are almost ready to take a leap of faith and awaken.
Perhaps we are being invited to get ready for a surprise, a miracle, a transformation, and rebirth.

I prefer to look for the dawn.
I prefer to expect miracles.
I prefer to envision a holy outcome for the Highest Good.
I prefer to trust in creating what is Good, Beautiful and Holy.

Join me in being ready.
Prepare Ye for the time of Awakening is at hand.

Here in Love,
Betty Lue

Monday, November 15, 2004

Have No Fear

Fear Is Learned.

When children are exposed to fearful adults, fearful teachings and fear-based beliefs, they learn fear.
When we live in a household with restrictive rules, concerned messages and doubting attitudes, we believe and apply the same to ourselves and our children.
When we experience this from those who “love” us, we believe this is LOVE.
When taught to obey to keep safe, we learn to look for outside rules and authority to keep us safe.
When experiencing fearful messages from authority figures, we look to them for direction and security.
When parents, politicians, or professionals deliver strong warnings, our tendency is to believe them.
When we are afraid of disease, violence, disaster or mistakes, we learn to be cautious and dependent.
When those in authority are aware of this power, they use fear to win loyalty, obedience and favor.

When children are raised by trusting and faith-filled adults, they learn trust, freedom and confidence.
When we live in a household with democratic process, freeing messages and confident attitudes, we learn confidence, freedom of choice and willingness to risk without fear of making mistakes or failing.
When we experience freedom and trust from those who “love” us, we believe this is Love.

With freedom and trust we have confidence in ourselves and listen within for direction and guidance.
With confidence, freedom of choice and willingness, we explore, create solutions to problems and are never restricted by “apparent problems”.
When we experience this freedom and trust in ourselves, we enjoy life and see it as a learning adventure.
When we see life as a learning adventure, we need not judge our experience. Without judgment, we experience life as fun, safe and easy.

Life is a learning laboratory, a temporary experience in which we can reinforce learned fear and repeat historical patterns. Or we can change our minds, forgive our fears and build confidence in our ability to explore, discover and grow in trust and freedom, learning from every experience.

The fearful mind is limited in what it perceives, knows and creates.
A trusting mind is unlimited in its perceptions, its wisdom and its creative solutions.
Life invites us to choose to live in fear or in love, in insecurity or in safety, in anxiety or in joy.

I choose to live in the Love, Trust and Freedom in which I was created and in which I am Loved.
Betty Lue

Saturday, November 13, 2004

What Can You Do?

When feeling needy and dependent, what can you do?
When feeling afraid and alone, what can you do?
When believing you are in trouble, what can you do?
When doubting your strength, courage and wisdom, what can you do?
When you seem lost and confused, what can you do?
When money seems limited, what can you do?

Problems are problems, because we “believe” they are problems.
Life seems difficult and dangerous, because we “believe” it is.
We are needy, because we have not learned to take responsibility for our lives.
Resourcefulness is learned, just as dependency can be unlearned.
Problems can be perceived as simply obstacles to be flowed around or challenges to be overcome.

I noticed the other day that I rarely perceive any problems in my life.
I simply turn away from closed doors and move through the open doors.
I look for where I am wanted rather than where I am not wanted.
I choose to be with people who say ”Yes” rather than try to change those who say “No”.
I go where I am invited rather than wish I could be where I have not been asked.
I speak to those who are listening, as I am guided.
I give to those who appreciate the gifts.
I encourage those who are going for their dreams.
I offer spiritual wisdom and council to those who ask directly and value what is given.
I wait for no one’s permission to proceed with what I am guided to do.
I listen to my own words and follow my own counsel to others.
I respect myself and respect others, so others respect me.
I set boundaries which are self-honoring and respectful, so others know I am not sacrificing.
I expect nothing from what I give, because I give to that which I believe and am called by Love.
I love everyone equally and gratefully serve everyone, as I am called by Spirit Within.
I am fed by the joy of my life work and receive what I need to live in the world.
Where I hear of a “problem”, I seek and find many creative solutions.
When I hear of a difficulty, I help others find the easier path.
Where I find resistance, I look for the way that flows.
I never bang my head against the wall, because there is always at least 300 other ways to go.
I believe in possibility thinking, because I know it works.
I encourage other’s to first change, so we then can change naturally.
I know “We can.” When we think “We can.”
I realize that all things are possible for those who “believe”.
I exercise my spiritual muscles the majority of everyday.
I practice what I teach.
I live my values.
I give my best.
I enjoy everything I do.
I listen to my own words.
I am awake to life and appreciate what I have created.
I take responsibility for my experience.
I forgive mistakes easily and quickly.
I choose again for what I really want.
I am open to new possibilities and solutions.
I allow everyone and everything to be my teacher.
I am learning what I value and what I do not value.
I give attention, focus, energy and appreciation to what I value.
I flush the toilet of my unconscious or limited thinking quickly.
I delight in my successes and learn from my “failures”., therefore I always receive value.

There is more……Enough for now.

Make your own reminder list of what you can do, when you “think” you have a problem.
Loving You,
Betty Lue

Thank you, Dear Friends.
Together we are learning to choose for the Good Life, a Life of Abundant Peace and Joy.
We are off to OR with Robert’s Mom for a week to visit family and friends. Nov. 13-21.
I will be finishing my two Healing Reminders books.
I will be creating my inspired schedule for coaching, teaching and travel in 2005.
Please visit my web site: www.LovingReminders.org when I am traveling.
I will create reminders, when I have internet access available.
Listen within or call the 800-919-2392 if you need to connect with me to be reminded.

My Profound Gratitude to each of you!
“Thanks” to those of you who are supporting my Loving reminders in so many ways….
I really do receive your acknowledgment as spiritual food and fuel for giving more to All.
Your monthly tithes and heartfelt contributions provide for me and the loving services I offer.
Sharing the good news with those you know and love expands our healing world.
Your notes of appreciation and special ‘aha’s’ touch my heart.
Your personal emails always make me smile with personal gratitude for You in my life.
I need not have met you to truly know You and love You!

I will be publishing Healing Reminders Vols. 1&2 as of Jan. 1.
Cost of publishing is $4000, so your contributions really are creating something wonderful.
Cost of these two new books will be $15/ea and $25 for both, including postage.
I will send free books to those who make a tax-deductible contribution to Reunion Ministries.
I will continue sending free books to those who do not have the financial resources.

I extend my profound gratitude for integrating every reminder that is highest and best for you.
You make the difference. Your Light is needed here. You are the Gift of our Creator’s Love.
It is through our thoughts, words and deeds that we remember, awaken and rejoice together.
Thanks from your Loving Reminder,
Betty Lue

Friday, November 12, 2004

Neediness and Problems

Where your focus is, there you shall yield more of the same.

Our society seems to be focused on problems, rather than solutions.
Humanity seems to be focused on illness and disease, rather than health and wellness.
People seem to prefer being needy, rather than generous.
Folks look out for what they can get, rather than give.
We seem to protect the weak, rather than value the strong.
Our media gives attention to the evils, rather than the good.
We pray for help, rather than give thanks for our blessings.
We seem to be addicted to neediness and attached to problems.

Things I have noticed within the healing community:
Competition over whose needs are greatest.
Exaltation of the suffering and mistakes people have made.
Unification of families and communities where there is tragedy.
Intimacy is increased where pain and sorrow are shared.
People really listen to tragic stories.
People seek help from spiritual teachers and guides, advisors and consultants for their problems.
Money, time and energy are easily expended on health and financial “needs” first.
Families may be consumed with what needs to be done rather than what is desired and enjoyed.
Neediness is a powerful place of complaint and control.
Church becomes a priority when families have difficulties.
One’s problems are a justification for doing what you want without considering others.
Healing professionals are dependent on their clients’ problems and their dependency.
Healing professionals are in a conflict of interest. (Financially gaining from their patients neediness.)

While this message may be offensive to those who feel needy and have problems,
it is intended to be a wakeup call to forgive our societal self-made limitations and negative thinking.
It is time to choose again for what we are creating.
Our thoughts create. Our emotions fuel our thoughts.
When we think “This is a problem”, it becomes one.
When we feel sorry for ourselves, we lose our creative power and believe we are victims.
When we relinquish our power, we lose the willingness and faith to change our minds and our choices.

What can we do instead of seeing ourselves having problems?
What can we do instead of believing we are needy?
What can we do instead of quitting on ourselves?
What can we do instead of being angry with God?
What can we do instead of relying on someone else to rescue us?
What can we do instead of believing our world is dangerous, difficult and demanding?

See tomorrow’s Loving Reminder.
Loving you,
Betty Lue

Thursday, November 11, 2004

How Do You Take Care of You?

Impeccable Care of B’Lue

Written to remind myself of how to love myself Well.
Written to remember what works best for me.
Written to ensure that I look at what I value.
Written to inspire me to remember impeccable self care is the foundation for purposeful living.
My life purpose is to live and give the Best I have, the best I know, the best I AM.

My body speaks and I listen. When I care for my body it supports me in living on purpose.
My heart knows and I follow. When my mind is quiet, I can hear what and where and how I am to go.
When I take care of the vessel I am given, I am well provided for in all I need to serve the Good of All.

I do my best with a diet that is primarily organic vegetables and rice.
Minimal or no eggs, cheese, corn, wheat, oats, soy, citrus, tomato, meats and fish.
No onions, garlic, spices, preservatives, natural flavors., bananas, food dyes.
No peanuts, cashews, almonds, chocolate and minimal walnuts and pecans.
Minimal sugar, only olive or canola oil, occasional butter.
Drink filtered water, reverse osmosis and seltzer waters., 48-64 oz.
Occasional small amounts of organic fruit juices and organic fruits.
I do best with a weight that is between 130 and 140#.
I do best in flat shoes with orthodic and cushioned support.
I do best with indoor temps of 65-68 day and 60-62 night.
I do best with outdoor temps of 50-85 degrees.
I do best with fresh air and open windows.
I do best with ionized and filtered air to breathe.
I do best wearing natural fibers, cotton, silk, wool and some rayon.
I do best using All ‘all clear’ detergent with no perfumes, colors, etc
I do best in a fragrance free environment, wearing only Clinique makeup.
I do best with personal hygiene products that are natural with no perfumes.
I do best walking 30-60 minutes daily and doing T’ai chi Chih daily.
I do best eating brown rice cereal with applesauce in the AM and eating salad for lunch.
I do best with food prepared with loving attention and enjoyment.
I do best with two cups of House Blend or Kona coffee spread throughout the day.
I do best eating little or no supper at least 3 hours before bedtime.
I do best within a clean and orderly environment, which is maintained without cleaning chemicals.
I do best without pesticides, germicides, air fresheners or herbicides being sprayed.
I do best doing what I enjoy, when I enjoy doing it, a self made schedule.
I do best honoring my inner guidance without interference or outer suggestions or demands.
I do best watching minimal or no TV, listening to quiet music without lyrics or in silence.
I do best reading inspirational material before bed, no violence or negative material.
I do best watching PG movies that have a positive moral or tell a meaningful story.
I do best talking about problems from the position of what we CAN DO.
I do best have long periods of silence each day in which I can follow my inner call.
I do best with clear concise and conscious communications.
I do best with positive conflict resolution and proactive problem solving.
I do best with immediate forgiveness of all judgments and spiritual alignment for the highest Good.
I do best with those who seek to make their lives better with joy, peace and love for All.
I do best with simple bookkeeping and business practices.
I do best with natural flow of finances, trusting all is provided for what is needed.
I do best with happy thoughts and/or no thoughts.
I do best with minimal unnecessary communication or idle chatter.
I do my best when I give my best to everyone in all situations.
I do my best when I honor and respect my whole and holy self.
I am committed to give myself the best to live my best.

What is your commitment to your impeccable self care?
Betty Lue is reminding herself and you to take impeccable care of your own unique needs to be your best Self.

Be grateful for those who remind us of our rights and responsibilities as global citizens.
Be grateful to those who choose to give the best they have for the Good of All.
Be grateful to those who love and teach our children the highest values and the thirst for knowledge.
Be grateful to those who live their lives with integrity for what they believe.
Be grateful to those who speak out rather than mumble their complaints.
Be grateful to those who take impeccable care of themselves so they can care for others.
Be grateful to those who are veterans of earthly life and serve everyday with love and peace and joy.
Be grateful.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

The Healing Power of Forgiveness, Choice and Gratitude

Forgiveness is the willingness to continuing giving the Love you are, no matter what.
Forgiveness is letting no one and nothing harm you or limit you.
Forgiveness is letting go of whatever beliefs or attitudes keep you from fully living.
Forgiveness is remembering what is good and beautiful and healthy.
Forgiveness is dropping the need to judge to defend and protect yourself.
Forgiveness is trusting in the healing, learning and growing opportunities in all relationships.
Forgiveness is seeking the gift and the blessing in all experiences.
Forgiveness is healing whatever thoughts, words, deeds and relationships keep you stuck in fear.
Forgiveness sets you free to more fully be.

Choice is the right to choose whatever is right for you.
Choice is the responsibility to select what fits with your values.
Choice is the freedom to choose again when you have made mistakes.
Choice is the vision of believing and seeing new possibilities.
Choice is the process of claiming your inherent right to create what is good for you.
Choice is the blessing of simply choosing for what you want, rather than “not want”.
Choice is the gift of selected perception and selective reception.
Choice is the natural ability to make decisions for yourself.
Choice is in forgiving past choices and freeing yourself to choose again.

Gratitude is valuing who you are and what you have.
Gratitude is in giving thanks for the gifts and blessings you have received.
Gratitude is knowing that we are all in this together and worthy of support.
Gratitude is acknowledging everyone and everything as teacher.
Gratitude is trusting in life’s school where we are all just kids learning how to be.
Gratitude is in getting the message when we are trying to figure it out.
Gratitude is in believing in ourselves and appreciating our willingness.
Gratitude is in opening the door to really live, even if we are scared.
Gratitude is starting over again when we have seemingly failed.
Gratitude is waking up with a smile on our face and a song in our hearts.
Gratitude is being thankful for it all.

We are healing ourselves and our world with every forgiveness, every choice and every appreciation.

Thank you for being the conscious presence of healing.
Betty Lue

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Dealing with Anger

Do you know when people are angry?

Some people rage. Some cry. Some are silent. Some just glare.
Some people yell. Some get quiet. Some get rational. Some are out of control.
Some people withhold their anger and become sick or depressed.
Some people use their anger to inspire them to do something constructive.
Some people allow their anger to hurt or destroy what they have created.
Some people are passively aggressive and use covert anger to get even and cause problems.
Some people simply become addicted to meds, food or drugs to suppress their anger.
Some people divert their anger to work or physical exercise.
Some people let their anger rule their lives, and some rely on the energy to live.
Everyone responds, reacts and experiences anger differently.

When people are angry, they are covering deeper feelings of hurt, fear, envy, distrust and ….
When people are angry, their anger is a protection and defense against further hurt.
When people are angry, they usually feel justified and righteous.
When people are angry, they usually blame others for their feelings.
When people are angry, they often feel victimized, frustrated and impotent.
When people are angry, know there is simply a lot of energy available.
When people are angry, they want to feel relief from the pent up energy of their feelings.
When people are angry, they want to be right and to win.
When people are angry, they may fight for what they believe.
When people are angry, they have a limited perspective.
When people are angry, they have difficulty listening, understanding or finding solutions.

How that energy is used or moved determines the outcome.
If anger is used to construct what you value, the outcome is positive and helpful.
If anger is used to destroy what you value, the outcome is negative and fearful.

How you respond or react to peoples’ anger can either increase, decrease or heal.
Energy is meant to move, to be used for good or ill or simply released.
How you respond to another can affect their emotional experience.
The more you react with anger, the more likely the anger increases.
The more you react with fear, the more likely the angry may become guilt.
The more you respond with kindness, the more the anger can be diffused.
The more you respond with understanding, the more the anger will be relieved.
The more you listen and have compassion, the more vulnerable feelings will be expressed.
The more you extend love, the more the anger will dissolve into simple authentic expression.
The listener, observer, friend and therapist can do much to heal anger and fear, hurt and resistance.

Ask yourself what you might want, if you were angry.
Ask yourself what is the most helpful thing you can do or say.
Ask yourself to see the very best in the other person beneath their angry expression.
Invite yourself to treat the other as you would want to be treated.

There is nothing to fear. Love heals.
Loving you,
Betty Lue

Monday, November 08, 2004

For Those Seeking Expanded Consciousness, Spiritual Growth, Enhanced Learning and Memory

What limits our abilities to learn easily?
What limits our ability to be creative and responsive to life changes?
What limits our memory and natural ability to remember what we need?
What limits our ability to move around obstacles and solve problems?
What causes distress in handling life and coping with difficulties?

As people age, they tend to accumulate more stuff and more memories, both treasured and fearful.
As people age, they tend to shut down and become more rigid, to slow down and do less.
As people age, they tend to try to learn by reading and listening, not by doing.
As people age, they tend to build a repertoire of fear, contraction, limiting beliefs.
As people age, they tend to learn strategies of defensiveness, justification and explanation.
As people age, they tend to rely on past history more and on curiosity and intuition less.
As people age, they tend to delight and wonder less, and think they “know” more.
As people age, they tend to become more serious, cautious and certain.
As people age, they tend to believe they will have impairments in mental and physical functioning.

Our habits, addictions, attachments, beliefs and attitudes create our experience.
Undoing unhealthy habits and addictions and limiting beliefs and attitudes will shift our experience. Adding back into life beneficial habits, beliefs and attitudes will create the life experiences we value.

Key Elements:
–Ability to make changes easily without resistance or defensiveness.
Diversity- Novelty and a wide variety of activities, relationships and interests.
Happiness- A lifestyle which is more positive and life affirming, smiles, songs and hugs.
Forgiveness-Willingness to let go of the petty judgments and negative memories.
Quiet Mind- Open-minded relationship with life, no thoughts or affirming thoughts.
Community- Sense of friendship and helpful interaction and service to others.
Safety- Having no fear in thoughts, words, or activities. No defensiveness.
Trust- Having faith that all things work together for good and choosing the Good.
Learn by Doing- Engage in new activities by playing and practicing new games, languages, etc.
Simplify- Eliminate non-essential stuff, activities and materials from your life. Keep what is essential.
Routine- Develop helpful habits (keys, meds, groceries, bills, appts.) to manage life without effort.
Order- Make harmony, cleanliness and order an enjoyable game to keep your environment peaceful.
Pleasure- Give yourself foods, company, music, entertainment and activities which are energizing.
Envision- Imagine and visualize what you want to be and do and have and experience.
Be present- Release what was and give your best right now.
Believe- Have faith in a Power and a Presence greater than you.
Relinquish- Give up negative thinking, speaking, activities and stories.
Persevere- Never quit on yourself, your goals or what matters to you.
Gratitude- Appreciate the goodness, beauty and love you have in your life.
Love- Extend respect and love to everyone with whom you interact in person or on phone.
Purity- Keep your mind clear and focused on what you value. Ignore what you de value.
Perception- Remember what you see is determined by what you believe. Believe what you want to see.
Agreements- Keep your commitments or change them respectfully…including with yourself.
Service- Give your best to what has heart and meaning for you.

Simple explanation:
With fear, stress and a full computer (memory bank), our ability to integrate both our creative and analytical brain is diminished, slowed, shut down and impaired. There is contraction and slowing of the communication within our own mental computer.
With relaxation, joy, and a quiet (empty) mind, our ability to integrate both our creative and problem-solving thinking and our detailed linear thinking is enhanced. There is both expansion, quickening and opened capacity to remember what is valuable, to resolve what is conflicting and to know what is essential. Ask for more, if you need to know, or consult “Brain Gym for Teachers and Kids”.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Dependent: Healthy or Unhealthy?

Dependence is when we believe we must have special others in our lives to exist.
Co-dependence is insisting that others help us do what we can do for ourselves.
Co-dependence is believing we cannot do or convincing others we need them.
Co dependence is the state of giving other responsibility for our life choices.
Co-dependence is also believing our value is based on having others need us.
Co-dependence is believing that our mate, parent, doctor or therapist is responsible for us.
Co-dependence is teaching others be dependent on us so we can take responsibility for them

Healthy dependency is knowing when we are unable to take care of ourselves and asking for help.
Unhealthy dependency is when the one depended on and the dependent one agree to maintain a dependent relationship, when there is no longer a need for help.
Whether parent/child, husband/wife or employer/employee, therapist/client, doctor/patient, care-giver/care-receiver, there is a tendency for unhealthy co-dependence based on original family patterns.

Natural dependence:
When we are unable to care for ourselves due to infancy, illness, mental impairment, we depend on others for assistance.
We ask (cry, request, hire) for the help we need. In this way, we are our brother’s keeper. We are here to be truly helpful.
We are here to treat others with the love and respect we would want if we were in a similar circumstance.
This is natural, helpful and healing dependence.
Unhealthy co-dependence:
When we have a problem, seeking comfort, agreement or assistance to solve that problem, we may tend to need the helper.
When we take on the role of helper and base our value on our helpfulness, we may attach to and need those whom we are helping.
We may inadvertently encourage their helplessness, neediness and dependence on us.
It is important for those offering help to be clear about what and how much is needed and wanted.
It is important for those offering help to have met their own needs, so they not sacrifice or martyr themselves or depend on the other’s neediness for their self worth. Those who have low self esteem may use the dependence of another to feel more confident and worthy and unconsciously encourage dependence. And when there is money exchanged, helpers may encourage extenuation of dependency.

Are you co-dependent?
Do you need others to need you?
Do you need others to survive?
Do you need to be needed?
Are you a parent who needs to be considered in solving problems and making decisions for your children?
Are you a therapist or health professional who believes your clients will need you for years?
Are you an employer who depends on fixing your employees problems?
Are you a friend who is in the habit of giving advice to people who can think for themselves?
Are you someone who likes being the problem-solver, the sympathetic listener, the wise advisor?
Are you someone who encourages needy or dependent relationships?

Let’s consider being partners, collaborators, teammates in life and learning together.

Betty Lue

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Impeccable Self-Care for my “Abundant” Life

I am often asked how I accomplish so much or how I manage my life.
The ones asking may feel envy, guilt, frustration or simply be curious.
I see my life as full not busy.
I see my life as spiritually abundant not financially prosperous.
I see my life is healthy for me and not what others are called to live.
I know that my attitude, beliefs and habits are responsible for my energy, effectiveness and joy.
I know where I am free of judgment and fear, there is always a way.
I know where I am grateful and helpful, I can accomplish much with little time and energy.
I know where I am conscious and willing, I receive from everything I give and do.
I know where I am trusting and respectful, I am supported and valued.
I know where I am loving and at peace, my whole life works for me no matter the obstacles.
I know where I choose what I value, I experience my value and the value of my life.

Every day is different but yesterday may be fairly typical.
Arise at 3AM , shower, send out reminders.
Leave at 3:30 arriving at Gia’s by 4:30AM, when her Papa leaves for work.
Take time to prep breakfast, make daily schedule and nap.
Gia up, breakfast and check in with homework, piano lesson and games.
Take her to school 8:20AM and work in classroom until 10:30AM
Home by 11:30 and prepare fresh salad and veggies for lunch.
Clients, phone calls, business and writing.
Some days there are groups, phone coaching, errands,
Personal time for walking, swimming and reading.
My house is clean, organized, and peaceful with beauty.
Quality time with Robert at meal time and late evening.
Everyday schedule varies and I am flexible and focused.
Time is used efficiently with purpose and direction.
Each relationship is given total attention as is every activity.
My life is freeing with trust, creativity and contribution

My chosen keys to easy efficiency and joy-filled effectiveness.
I live my purpose: “Giving the Best I know.”
I waste no time on social interaction or idle conversation.
I seek the highest outcome in all activities.
I hold a vision of simple, safe, fun and easy living.
I give without withhold and love without condition.
I support myself with positive thinking and healthy habits.
I am concise and direct in my communications.
I maintain a quiet mind, when I am listening both outside and within.
I am flexible and adaptable to ever-changing circumstances.
I maintain high energy by forgiving my opinions, judgments and concerns.
I respect and care for my whole self.
I trust in the Higher Power that works in me and through me.
I take impeccable care of my home and work environment.
I use simple business and personal life practices.
I answer my own phone and correspondence and handle both business matters and finances.
I stay connected spiritually and flow with what is inspiring and on purpose.

Remember this is my chosen life, lived according to my values and purpose.
Choose your life and live it your way…and you will learn and be blessed,
Betty Lue

Friday, November 05, 2004

Common Sense Healing

Can you tell when people are afraid?

When people are afraid, how do they act?
They may act cocky and arrogant.
They may act timid and shy.
They may act belligerent and angry.
They may act defensive and argumentative.
They may be attacking and threatening.
They may act shaky and contracted.
They may act judgmental and questioning.
They may act needy and dependent.
They may act blaming and resentful.
They may act exhausted and defeated.
They may act crazy and out of control.
They may act hyper and have difficulty focusing.
They may act manic and grandiose.
They may act accusatory and righteous.
They may act in many ways we have not described here.

What can you do with people who are afraid?

When people are afraid, what do they need and want?
Reassurance, safety, a place to express, a friend or community, something to trust, kind words…
Look within at what you need when you are afraid and offer this freely to others.

When people are afraid, give them information, no secrets or withholds.
When people are afraid, give them reassurance that love will prevail.
When people are afraid, give them an opportunity to express their fears without resistance.
When people are afraid, give them time to gather their thoughts and feelings.
When people are afraid, give them comfort and community.
When people are afraid give them safety and peace.
When people are afraid, give them confidence and direction.
When people are afraid, give them your full attention.
When people are afraid, give them your genuine promises of what you are willing to do.
When people are afraid, give them affection and healing touch.
When people are afraid, give them space and time to handle their emotions.
When people are afraid, give them patience and trust in their process.
When people are afraid, give them Light and Love.
When people are afraid, give them the best you have.

When you are afraid of people who are acting out their fear, are you willing to give you what you need?
I am loving me and you with the best I have,
Betty Lue

Thursday, November 04, 2004

What Now?

There are many negative feelings, comments and criticisms being cast about with futility.
I prefer to ask myself:
What does the election result mean to me? And What can I do now?

What the results mean to me has little to do with the candidates and the political parties and more to do with the American people, our people.
Our people have voted, more voters of all ages and backgrounds than ever before.
When I spent three hours calling voters late election day, I found no one who had not voted. I am grateful so many American citizens voted.

What do their votes say?
Are they voting for the most confident, most popular person or the continuation of what we have?
The American people have voted…for what?
Our people across the country split their vote (51-48%) to encourage conservative politics.
Our people voted to maintain a president who called us to war.
Our people voted to expand our war on terrorism.
Our people voted to dis-allow gay marriage and civil union in 11 states and other moral and religious issues.
Our people voted for a continuation for what we have had for four years.
Our people voted for our current economic strategies and level of unemployment.
Our people seems to be afraid of differences and afraid of changes.

When people are afraid, they usually do not trust change.
When people are afraid, they usually increase trust in their leaders and doctors and attorneys.
When people are afraid, they often have confused and dependent thinking.
When people are afraid, they often do not see the light.
When people are afraid, they often are in denial of what is really happening.
When people are afraid, they lean on clear confident directives.
When people are afraid, they don’t trust strangers.
When people are afraid, they look for familiar faces, words and ideals.
When people are afraid, they trust handling what has been but will not trust the unknowns of change.
When people are afraid, they feel guilty about their mistakes and try to cover or make the best of it.
When people are afraid, they seek more dark than light, more conservative than liberal, more restrictions than freedom, more problems than solutions, more lack than prosperity, more isolation than cooperation.

Our people are afraid.
The American people are not yet, as resilient and fearless, as faithful and trusting, as forgiving and peace-loving, as I once idealized.
Perhaps we grew complacent during the “good times” and fell into fear in the bad times.
Perhaps we need to hit bottom before we can seek the light.
Perhaps we need to allow the cycle of disintegration to complete itself before healing and reintegration can occur.
Perhaps it just is not time yet for the light to dawn in our minds and love to grow in our hearts.
Some have predicted four more years of continuing conservatism, dependency and penance for our past mistakes, before the emergence of true forgiveness and a return to natural respect and responsibility and cooperation for our planetary family.

My loving Reminders are always about what I can do.
My whole life is about what I can do.
What about you? What can you do?
You can increase fear with more judgments and anger or you can encourage healing with patience, forgiveness and willingness.
You can make more enemies or build friendships and community one person at a time.
You can become bitter and isolated or create opportunities to join.
You can mend fences with the lines of animosity drawn or you can take down the barriers and seek common ground.
You can seek freedom with responsibility.
You can invite peace to every conflict.
You can open doors to increased wisdom and light.
You can respond to all calls for hate with calls for understanding.
You can give your best to everyone, not just the favored ones.
You can bring the light you have and give the Love your are.
I know you. This is your function and our hope.
Betty Lue

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Values-Centered Living and Giving

This was written Nov 1.
My server stopped my sending due to over 1000 emails sent in 24 hours.
I believe this is very relevant as we ask what now.
No matter what the election result,
No matter who our employer or neighbor is,
No matter what our family dysfunction,
No matter what the politics of our church, community or nation,
We need to identify and live our values.
So I offer you today’s reminderwith prayers of healing and love.

What do you value?
How do you want to live?
What really matters to you?
What are your choices?

I can look at the candidates and notice what I am voting for by looking at my values?
If I value being right, I vote for the candidate who is always right.
If I value being aware, I vote for the candidate who is open to open-minded and see things differently.
If I value looking good, I vote for the one who looks good.
If I value sounding smooth and confident, I vote for the one who sounds confident and self-assured.

In our homes, on our jobs, in our relationships, we are all voting for our current values.
To speak out or to be silent.
To argue or to avoid disagreement.
To give or to get .
To appreciate or to criticize.
To be righteous or admit our mistakes.
To forgive and choose again or judge and get stuck.
To be helpful or helpless.
To fix and correct the past or envision and create today.
To give our best and trust the rest or control and direct the outcome.
To try to win the game of life or simply play our best and enjoy the game of life.

These are choices we make everyday in what we think and do and say.
Pay attention to how you see your world and you will see what you believe about yourself.
Be aware of how you vote in this election and notice what you value.

Integrity is living the values we claim we value.
Integrity engenders peace and joy and love easily.
Lack of integrity leads to disintegration of relationships, self confidence and loss of will to live.
Honesty is willingness to admit mistakes, unethical behaviors, and unwillingness to give the best.
Making excuses is a form of self-deceit.
Confessing our errant choices leads to honesty and integrity.
It is time to personally lead the way by declaring our values and living them.
Living our values must be a fulltime job.
Living our values must be obvious to those who know us.
Living our values must be quitting anything which seduces us to quit, set aside or compromise our values.
Living our values must be first and foremost in all circumstances.

Valuing clear conscious communication with freedom with responsibility for all,
Betty Lue

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Partner or Care-Giver?

Do you interact with others as a team player?
Do you see yourself as equal partner or supporter?
Do you join with others or take care of others?
Are you a companion or true friend?
What is the difference?

We learn in our original learning lab, our family system, how to be or not to be in equal relationship.
Because I was born into a family in which I was seen as “equal” from birth, I never knew myself to be less than whole, less than capable or less than valuable to the whole.
I have always felt equal to everyone, no matter what their age, education, accomplishments or position. As a child I was always encouraged to speak my mind and share the Truth within.
I was listened to and encouraged to express what was real and loving and good for me and all.
I saw myself and my world as safe, fun and easy to live and give my very best to all.
For much of my life, I assumed this to be normal for all families.
Therefore I assumed others has a similar perspective.
I am now totally appreciative of my choices and those of my parents who loved me without limitation and respected me without question.
My family was my life team and encouraged me to be a team player with everyone who was willing.

Team players and partners work together for the good of the whole.
Team players and partners hold a common vision and goals.
Team players and partners know every member has value.
Team players and partners help one another succeed.
Team players and partners communicate openly and honestly with no secrets or gossip.
Team players and partners give their best at all times.
Team players and partners appreciate and trust one another.
Team players and partners are committed to what is good for each one and all as One.
Team players and partners encourage moving on when it is best and carrying on with ease.
Team players and partners take responsibility for their errors without excuses, guilt or blame.
Team players and partners step up to more responsibility when needed without burden or sacrifice.
Team players and partners value the cycles of play, work, creation and rest.
Team players and partners practice the art of love and appreciation with respect for diversity of needs.
Team players and partners hold the highest vision for themselves, the team and one another.

If you are giving care and support,
You may see yourself as separate from the other.
You may hold that you know what is best for the other.
You may fear making mistakes or telling the truth.
You may not know what the loved one’s vision is for themselves.
You may wish you could do more or even want to do less, but feel limited in talking freely.
You may take responsibility for the other’s failures, disability or depression.
You may sacrifice your own goals for the sake of the other whom you judge to be more needy.
You may find yourself becoming more like the one you serve.
You may see yourself as indebted, beholden, stuck, or duty-bound.
You may shut down your own joy or give up your freedom of choice.
You may try to balance your life while maintaining your “Loving” or ”care-giving “ relationship.

If you are supporting another, be aware of supporting you.
If you are giving care to another, be at choice.
If you are the helper in the group, be respectful of yourself.
If you are the nurturer in family, be good to yourself.

There are some of you who have taken on this role as the only way to be valued. Be aware.
There are some of you who have taken on this role to assuage your guilt. Be aware.
There are some of you who have taken on this role as your faith directs loving your neighbor as yourself.
There are some of you who have taken on this role without noticing it happening. Be aware.
There are some of you who have this calling in your heart as your true life purpose. Be aware.

Throughout life our roles and functions change.
Shifting times require flexibility.
Changing relationships require reflection and inner listening.
When things change, take time to be aware.

Loving our awareness as we learn how to be team players and partners,
Betty Lue

Monday, November 01, 2004

Special Times Require Special Attention

Celtic New Year,
All Saint’s Day,
Election Time
Autumn Letting Go and Appreciation,
Change of weather environmentally, mentally and politically
Getting ready to enjoy or avoid the holidays and Holy Days.
However you see these times, make the most of them.
Heal and erase what you don’t want.
Envision and believe in what you do want.
Give your best to create each day as you choose.

You see when all is said and done…

This is your life.
You are the chooser.
You can have what you want.
You can forgive yourself for unconsciousness in the past.

You can support yourself creating today to be your choice.

Your vote not only counts…
It is the only thing you can choose.
Vote for life, choice, freedom with responsibility.
Vote for what you value and what matters to you.
Vote for opportunities to live and give as your choose.
Vote for healing the past and forgiving mistakes.
Vote for reaching out with love and serving without fear.
Vote for being the best you can be without limit or withhold.
Vote for appreciating each day and each person who comes your way.
Vote for taking time to live and learn and love as we let go of ineffective ways.
Vote for honesty and trust, for respect, responsibility and cooperation are a must.
Vote for your life.
Live your values.
Give your best.
And appreciate it All.

Loving you,
Betty Lue