If you often find yourself in arguments or getting angry with others , consider the following:
You may be in a habit of getting your way by fighting and overpowering.
You may believe that you will be hurt, if you don’t fight for what you want.
You may believe that your needs are more important than others.
You may think the only way to stand up for what you want is to fight.
You may lack the confidence and self-esteem to be respectful in your communication.
You may believe that you are right and others are wrong.
Do’s
Listen first.
Seek to understand.
Ask open questions.
Stand in the other person’s shoes.
Be willing to accept their perspective.
Seek honesty and integrity.
Express values.
Find common ground.
Look for similarities and places of agreement.
Take time to reflect.
Avoid hasty rebuttal.
Choose non-hostile words.
Be respectful of yourself and the other.
Build mutual respect.
Use common courtesy.
Be appreciative and open-minded.
Choose willingness rather than stubbornness.
Look for places of agreement.
Take a break when emotions take over.
Ask clearly for the outcome you want.
Don’t’s
Do not threaten or intimidate.
Do not talk over the other person.
Do not bully or badger.
Do not nag or make your request more than once.
Do not tease or humiliate the other person.
Do not take your conflict into public.
Do not get others to join you in ganging up.
Do not name call or embarrass.
Do not shame or blame others to get their agreement.
Do not seek to win at another’s expense.
Do not use force, punishment or pain to get your way.
Do not harm physically or psychologically.
Do not attempt resolution when you are still angry.
Do not assume you are right.
Do not invade other’s space, physically or emotionally.
Do not talk down or belittle.
Do not use other material or past incidents to convince.
Do not believe that obedience is a positive outcome for the future.
Do not believe that getting your way this time will lead to future obedience.
Remember:
It is the conscious, mature and respectful person who can easily follow the “Do’s”
When there is to be healing and resolution, it is up to the most conscious one. SO BE IT.
Loving you,
Betty Lue
This Sunday we will host a Spiritual Cinema Circle fro 2-5PM in our home.
All our welcome for viewing and discussion. Contribution welcome.
Please call. Space is limited.