Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Themes for Freely Living

Some learning and teaching themes for me in this new school year.

Pay attention to what I am learning and remembering from the teachers in my life.
The healing of human consciousness is really about letting go of all our false notions and myths.
With freedom comes the responsibility to vote for the way I want to believe and perceive, live and give.
Fear is contagious and creates limited awareness, forgetfulness and lack of openness and understanding.
Comfort begets laziness. Challenge invites creativity.
How simple can it be? Infinite Love and Gratitude heals it all.
Seek the Highest Vision in a world of apparent limited insight and creativity.
When in doubt, forgive and choose again.
To love yourself and believe in yourself is to free yourself to be All You are here to be.

What are your themes to teach and learn?
Who are the teachers in your life?
Where are you turning away from what is calling to be remembered?
How can you give your whole self to Higher Truth and Better Living?
When are you willing to accept the challenges of living with Infinite Love and Gratitude?

Every child who goes to school learns from their teachers and fellow classmates.
Every child learns from classroom, playground, doing homework and after school.
Every adult is likewise learning from everyone in our lives, even though we resist.
There is not a moment when we are excluded from opportunities to wake up and remember.

What we know inside is the Love we are, the Love that created us and everyone,
the Love that is the creative and ever expanding Force in the Universe.
When we lose sight of this Love, we lose our appreciation of the Perfection in all things.
We expend energy judging, defending, fixing and blaming what merely needs to be seen differently.
When seen with Love, miracles result.
When our minds are filled with appreciation and open-mindedness, healing and miracles occur.

May I give this day and everyday to healing my misperceptions.
May I everyone every one and everything with Infinite Love and Gratitude.
May I truly be an Eternal learner, a Child of Goodness and deLight.

Blessed be,
Forever Loving You and Me and All That Is,
Betty Lue

Monday, August 30, 2004

First Day of School

We are back from spending 12 days in North Carolina with my fantastic Mom and many of our friends there. We offered three workshops on Intuition and Inner Listening, Faith and Love in Action and Coaching with Spirit. Teaching is learning and reminding ourselves. So we always listen to the messages we and others are sharing.

It is Gia’s first day of first grade…a special day as I recall that first day of school each year. And yet when there is something special, there is often pre-miracle anxiety. So often is better to down play rather than build up anticipation and expectation. Often we make the mistake of teaching our children and reinforcing the hills and valleys in life…”How wonderful!” and “How Terrible.” Maybe everyday is really the same opportunity to learn and grow, to heal and forgive, to love and know, to believe and trust in what is.

As I return from this time away, I notice how it blends in with my everyday life.
I live in a way that celebrates each day and each person, not anymore special than anyone else,and always special in that you are my friend and myself.
I behold in you an aspect of God and receive the gifts of Love and wisdom that are waiting there for my openness.
When I arrive home, the wash is done and groceries purchased within the first two hours so that the next day can begin as though I had not really gone away.
My life is an adventure every moment.
My life is a vacation everyday when perceived as what I want to be doing.
My life is a gift of healing and love to me and others because I choose to see it this way.
My life is filled with loving you and receiving you love.

I am delighted to be once more writing you in the morning (3:30AM) and on my way to Gia’s house one hour from here. For those of you who don’t know Gia, she is our almost six year old granddaughter who we are with every morning from 4:30AM until we take her to school. This allows her Dad to go off to work leaving her to sleep until morning.

More goodies tomorrow with so much love for you.
Know I am always with you in Spirit, even when I am not at my computer.
Loving you,
Betty Lue

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Visiting Mom and Friends

We are off to Asheville North Carolina this AM to spend 10 days with my Mom and long time North Carolina friends. No, I wasn’t born in the South. I was born in Michigan as was all my family.
This visit will include a Thursday evening Inner Listening and Intuition workshop, a trip to the Smokies with my Mom, a workshop on Faith in Action for a new Curves franchise in Taylorsville, NC with a Michigan friend and an all day workshop on Caching with Spirit. Y’All Come.

If you wish to read Loving reminders on the web. Go to my site at www.lovingreminders.org
If you wish to contact us while we are away (returning late Aug. 29), call 800-919-2392.
Or if you wish to reach me ddirectly, try my cell at 925-324-2409.
Know I am always loving you…
We will return in time for Gia’s first day of first grade on August 30.

Wherever we are, we are together.
Whatever we do, we are in Love.
Whoever we meet, it is for healing.
However we join, we can bring peace.

I am loving you now and always,
Betty Lue

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Renewable Lease on Life

Our leases are renewable.
Every day we have an opportunity to begin again.
So here I am signing up for another year, another adventure, another opportunity.
Where would You have me go?
What would You have me do?
Whom would You have me meet?
And what would You have me say?

Everyday in everyway, we are given the chance to play the game of life.
How well we play has nothing to do with how long we stay.

Some are bored. Some feel limited.
Some are excited. Some are scared.
Some are fighters. Some are lovers.
Some healers, some sages, some teachers, some preachers.
Each one of us has a role to play.
Some change our roles everyday.

With a new lease on life, I can choose how to decorate my life.
I can change my diet, my friends, my activities, my thoughts.
I can change my clothes, my habits, my finances, my studies.
I can change my beliefs, my attitudes and my goals.
I am free to be the unlimited being I Am.

The one constant true for me, throughout all eternity is who I Be.
I Am Love.
Love is unlimited.
Love is trusting the Source, Love ItSelf.
Love is freeing all aspects of Love.
Love is creating new ways to Love.
Love is expressive and extends Itself freely.
Love is I AM, loving me.

Ask yourself, Who are you really?
What are you called to do, to go, to share, to know?

I am here to love those who come my way.
Where I place myself is mine to say.
And so I choose to love you, each and everyone.
Life is a renewable resource, a lease to have fun.

Loving you,
Betty Lue

I am off to Asheville NC to visit my Mom and friends for 11 days.
I will return to the keyboard when I get home on 8/30.

Monday, August 16, 2004

Reminders Everywhere

Life is a reminder of who I AM.
My words are reminders of what I believe.
My walls display what reminds me.
I am surrounded by reminders placed there lovingly.

Sitting in Front of me as I write:

“And God is able to provide you with every blessing in abundance, so that you may always have enough of everything and may provide in abundance for every good work.” II Corinthians 9:8

“The Spirit of the Most High is upon me, because God has anointed me.”
“All your children shall be taught by the Most High and great shall be their prosperity.”

“Your life is a sacred journey and it is about change, growth, discovery, movement, transformation, continuously expanding your vision of what is possible, stretching your soul, learning to see clearly and deeply, listening to your intuition, taking courageous risks, embracing challenges at every step along the way…You are on the path exactly where you are meant to be right now…and from here, you can only go forward, shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing, of courage, beauty, wisdom, power, dignity and love”…Carolyn Solis Jahn

“To live content with small means, to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion, to be worthy, not respectable and wealthy, not rich, to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly, to listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages with open heart, to hear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasions, hurry never. In a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow through the common. This is to be my symphony.” William Henry Channing 1810-1884

I commit to the creation of unity, harmony, healing and abundance for all mankind.

Loving you with a heart that is True.
Betty Lue

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Leadership of Faith

I facilitated a strategic planning retreat for a church leadership and their pastor yesterday. We noted that willing leaders are scarce. When I look at the leadership that emerges today, I see there is a lack of responsibility and willingness to lead. I have asked, why? Lack of time, lack of appreciation, a difficult job with thankless hard work? Do we need to empower others to lead? Do we need to educate our youth to leadership?

Maybe we have entered a new era where we need to be led by our faith, rather than a powerful person.
Maybe we need to listen within rather than to trust outside authority.
Maybe we are called to each step up to our own unique calling.
Maybe each one of us is being asked to accept responsibility for our values and our lives.
Maybe you and I need to be the ones who lead with our love and acceptance, our vision and fulfillment.
Maybe we are all given gifts to develop and share freely with our families and our community.
Maybe we are each a leader in our own domain.

We can lead in how we care for ourselves impeccably.
We can lead in how we treat our family with positive attention and respect.
We can lead in how we respond to the anger and fear we see in our world.
We can lead by giving our employers, customers and fellow workers our very best.
We can lead by speaking the truth without guile, gossip or secrecy.
We can lead by living our spiritual principles and faith openly and with tolerance.
We can lead by spending time, energy and money on what really matters rather than diversion.
We can lead by remembering to be open-minded and appreciative of all people, nations and cultures.
We can lead by honoring our political leaders by being willing to listen fairly and vote.
We can lead by forgiving our mistakes and the mistakes of others.
We can lead by knowing that we are a field of infinite possibility and planting our field with Good.
We can lead by giving everyone encouragement to live their dreams and give their best.
We can each lead.

Listen within and lead the way of goodness, love and mercy for all.
Betty Lue

Friday, August 13, 2004

Judge Not

The less you criticize, the more you learn.
Judgment closes your mind.
Every problem or mistake is an opportunity to learn.
When we are critical, defensive or just plain upset, awareness is diminished.

When we resist, react, deny, avoid, we are limiting the chances to choose again.
By shutting down our perception, we only see what we believe is there.
By fighting to be right, we cannot view the whole picture.
By “making up our mind” we limit what our mind is open to see.

Life’s experience are meant to broaden our knowledge, expand our viewpoint and become more tolerant, accepting and understanding.
And yet, most adults use life’s bumps and twist and turns, as justification to become more defended, restrictive, intolerant and judgmental.

Through experience I have learned that when offering a safe open environment where the full truth can be told, I can always see from the other’s perspective.
I can find the silver lining or the healing opportunity.
I may be the object of another’s projected pain or anger.
I may provide the place of greatest forgiveness for their errors in judgment.
I may give the love needed to heal the misguided soul.
I may be the one who hears it all.
My work here is to judge nothing.
For in not judging, I am given the opportunity to heal all….

Loving you,
Betty Lue

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Why Are We Here?

Lessons to Learn.
Opportunities to Create.
Past Experiences to Heal.
To Clarify What is Real.
To Love and be Loved.
To Fully Appreciate All Creation.
To Experience More of Ourselves.
To Finally Trust in God.
To Help One Another.
To More Fully Discover.
To Be All We Are.
To Shine Like the Stars.

So Much To Do and so Little Time.
Or is there only One thing to do…to undo what is untrue.

You know many see this as an illusion, a temporary learning experience, like a dream.
And many see this as a karmic setup for to makeup for what is not yet learned.
And some see life as a gift from the Creator to fully enjoy the fruits of our labor.
And some suffer much, as though we are in our own self made hell.

Ask yourself , Why are you here?”
Then recognize that your life is probably much as you believe it to be.
What you look for, you see.
The fairy tales you believe in, neither correct nor real, are probably how you have perceived it.
Now it is your choices to rewrite your script.
Where you don’t like the dialogue, “Cut”.
Where you want to do the scene again, just have another “take”.
All “mis-takes” are simply opportunities for you to see what is not your first choice.
So be free and give your heart voice.,
Stop imagining that things must continue to be what they have been in the past.
It only lasts as long as you think it will.
Let go, give it up.
Be your own best friend and give yourself the life you seek.
What a gift to be able to revel what is real as you undo what is not true for You.

Loving you,
Betty Lue

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Angry Responses

When there is a build up of steam in a pressure cooker, stand back as it is released.
When there is a fire blazing violently, let it burn, unless it is about to do harm.
When there is a person puking and pooping toxic waste, flush the toilet.
Do not allow yourself to be harmed by getting in the way or taking it personally.

Too often we fear the intensity, the emotionality, the out of control behavior.
Too often we step in, insisting on control, rationality and calming down.
Too often we want to figure out, analyze the cause and try to fix it or change the behavior.
Too often we label the angry child “bad” and the passive child “good”.

Where there is a build up of energy, there must be movement (energy in motion=E=motion).
Providing a safe place and method for people to express and release their energy is vital to health.
Adults often withhold their excess energy by conforming on the outside and causing illness on the inside.

We teach our children to try to explain and justify their irrational or angry feelings.
This simply teaches them to rationalize what usually is nothing more than a need to vent.
Why not support ourselves and others to learn healthy ways to vent?

When needing a place to release, choose the most loving person you know and ask permission.
When clearing toxic emotional waste, be alone, so no one gets hurt and your can clear in private.
When letting go of your feelings, remember to flush and clean up after yourself.
When helping someone else, remember to forgive and forget it all.
You need not try to understand, fix, justify or take it on personally.
Simply love them and trust their process of purging.

Are there enough outlets for the pent-up energy in your kids, your husband or yourself?
Is there too much pressure on our children to conform, to excel, to be good?
Are there circumstances which are confusing and tension-producing in ourselves and our kids?
Are our children acting out the unexpressed tension and anger within their parents?
Is there adequate physical exercise, jumping, running, tree-climbing, pounding for our kids?
Are there places and people who can and will listen without fear or punishment to strong feelings?

If we allow another’s anger to hurt us, their guilt may only add to their rage.
If we remember another’s angry venting with fear, we help them repeat their behavior.
If we protect ourselves from another’s anger by being careful, they feel the withhold and lack of love.
If we punish others for their anger, they learn patterns of withholding only to vent in more explosive ways, when the energy is too much to contain. Or they may make themselves sick or depressed with the inner rage.

If you are angry, find someone to simply listen and give you what you need.
Holding, rocking, a safe container, understanding, being with you emotionally.
If you are angry, explore ways to release excess emotions that are most healthy for you.
Journaling, martial arts, exercise, yelling and pounding outdoors, or on a punching bag.
If you have anger, look for how you can take your intensity and use it for good.
Support a cause, do something productive, write books and give talks with passion, go help others.

And if you have someone who is angry in your life, create healthy ways to support the release
or create a communication system that gives both parties permission to take care of themselves.

Remember anger is simply energy which needs to be moved, like stormy weather.
Pent-up anger is often toxic and foul because it has been held too long,
and does not know how to release in a safe and productive way.

Our culture is filled with tension.
Our families have little time for healthy energy release.
Our parents are stretched and over-stressed.
Our schools are overly strict with rules and punishments, both teachers and students pushed to scholastic excellence
Our kids are overly stimulated and under fed with opportunities to release their energy in creative ways.(unpressured sports, music, dance and creative expression.)

We can help by releasing our energy.
We can help be being a safe listening place.
We can help by giving ourselves quiet time for outdoor exploration, and inside music and creativity.
We can help by turning off angry and violent TV and video games, including the news.
We can help by feeding ourselves and our children the affirmation, appreciation and acceptance we deserve.
We can help.

Loving you,
Betty Lue

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Basics of Respect

Being rude has become the norm for many in our culture.
Because the norm is accepted, we often forget what respect would look like.
Many have not lived in a respectful household or known a respectful relationship.
Many have grown up in a culture of disrespectful music and media.
Most people have not learned etiquette or basic social graces.

To judge creates stuckness.
To feel angry and blaming causes defensiveness and anger.
To expect different behavior may create a sense of frustration and futility.
To feel guilty about disliking disrespectful behavior generates separation and futility.
To be forgiving of ourselves and others opens the flow of love and peace.
With inner peace there is understanding and enlightenment.
As light flows into our minds and love expands our hearts, we know the answer….
Education and modeling.

To educate is to lead out of darkness and ignorance.
When someone does not know and is willing to learn, teach.
When someone does not know and seems unwilling to learn, model.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

The golden rule is the fundamental principle of respect.
For many, the golden rule has never been experienced.
Modeling and education are needed.

To respect is to look deeper than the surface.
I must look and listen beneath the behavior and the words.
What is the real message here?
How am I being invited to respond?
What can I do to model and teach others?

Create the habit of saying, “Please” and “Thank you”.
Keep all agreements and promises.
Do not talk about others outside their presence. (Don’t gossip).
Be on time with appointments and bills.
Thanks people for their time and offerings to you.
Learn to write thank you notes for gifts.
Share appreciation and love for what touches you.
Never cancel dates because something “more important” comes up.
Only change or cancel, because it truly is essential to your health and welfare.
Always communicate changes with sincere apologies.
Give professionals 48 hours advance notice for missed appointments.
When calling, ask if it is a convenient time to talk.
When visiting, be clear about the length of your stay.
When sharing meals, transportation, or events, pay your fair share.
In another home follow the lead of your host, ie. No shoes, no feet on furniture, glasses on coasters, etc.
In another’s bathroom, only use the towels assigned for guests or ask which to use.
Do not go into other’s cupboards or refrigerator. Ask for what you want.
Don’t interrupt.
Keep your phone conversation short, unless invited to have a long discussion.
If unsure about the other’s time constraints, ask them specifically, “Do you have time now?”
Clean up after yourself. Leave every place you go as clean or cleaner than you found it.

Give to others your most conscious behavior and you teach your world to be conscious.
Give to others timeliness and courtesy and you teach others timeliness and courtesy.
Give to others appreciation and consideration and teach others appreciation.
Our best way of teaching is by living and giving what we teach.

Respect means I value you as much as I value me and more.
As I grow in self worth and respect, I will value and respect you more.
All of us are called to grow up in consciousness and grow in in respect.
Listen inside for those areas of growth for you, perhaps totally different than my sharing.

Loving you,
Betty Lue

Monday, August 09, 2004

Going with the Flow

To find your center, let go and flow.
To be at peace, let go and flow.
To have steady energy, let go and flow.
To be happy and healthy, let go and flow.

How do you let go?
How do you find your flow?
First know that letting go is fun, safe and easy.
Affirm and accept this simple life principle.
“Letting go is fun, safe and easy.”

The more you hang on, the more you suffer as life changes all around you.
The more you try and work at life, the more fatigue you will experience.
The more you resist, avoid and analyze obstacles, the more obstacles you find.
The more you let go and flow around all the obstacles, the more ease and energy you experience.

Life can be fun safe and easy.
Breathe deep into your belly.
As people become more contracted and fearful, they breathe less and less.
Breathe fully and freely into your belly, into your toes and let go fully and freely.
Give your mind a rest and breathe.

Life can be fun safe and easy,
Be still……
Empty your mind of thoughts.
Thoughts are judgments.
Judgments contract.
Be quiet and open your heart and your mind to know…
All is well…
Nothing to do, you are loved, for you are Love It Self.
You are created and nurtured by Love for the purpose of remembering to Love…

Life can be fun, safe and easy.
Allow the winds of change to play through you.
Stagnant is toxic.
Stuckness is dying.
Change your mind, if your thoughts are not happy.
Change your friends, if your associations are not inspiring.
Change your lifestyle if you are not healthy.
Change your work, if you are not supporting yourself with Love.

Letting go is fun, safe and easy.
Let go of everything that is not inspiring, healing, and fulfilling for you.
Change your habits….Breathe….Be still….Move…
Give yourself what you need to come home to the real You.
Give yourself what you really want to be true to you.
Give yourself what you really deserve, what is best for you.
Give yourself what the Creator intended…Life and abundant Living…

Loving you,
Betty Lue

Sunday, August 08, 2004

Loving You

In order to love you, you must know you.
To know you is to be willing to know all about you.
Wherever we are hiding from ourselves, we cannot know who and what we really are.

Most folks hide their “yucky” stuff.
Some folks dwell on their ’Yuck” and hide the “good stuff’.
To know it all and accept it all, is to love all of you.
To truly know you is to totally love you.

Wherever we condemn ourselves, we block the flow.
Wherever we criticize ourselves, we shut down.
Wherever we blame ourselves, we withhold our love.
Wherever we deny ourselves, we feel deprived.

Love is an inside job.
Feeling loved comes from truly loving all of ourselves.
Believing we are loveable comes from accepting all of ourselves.
When we wholly love who we are, as we are, we can unconditionally love others.

When we know ourselves and accept all we know, we are open to intimacy.
When I allow you to “see into me”, I am free.
With nothing to hide, I am free to be me.
With no reason to hold back, I give all that I Am

In truly giving, I am really living.
In totally giving, I come to see the gift of me.
In really giving my all, Life is a joy.
In living freely, I can really be me.

Some of you may not know where to begin…..
Write your story beginning to end and then….appreciate every little bit of it.
Tell your story to therapist or trusted friend and let their love for you sink in.
Journal each day the way you think and feel and act and let the spirit in you come through.

You are loved, warts and all.
You are loved, mistakes and flaws.
You are loved, at your worst and your best.
You are loved, so let yourself rest in Love, too.

Loving you,
Betty Lue

Saturday, August 07, 2004

You’re Not Crazy

I am aware of how many people feel alone in their personal experience.
I am aware of how many people feel they do not belong.
I am aware of how people feel separate, afraid and unable to relate.
I am aware of how addictions are used to handle feelings of craziness, alienation and pain.
I am aware of how many people feel limited., lacking and belittled.
I am aware of how people feel afraid, vulnerable and hurting.
I am aware of how people cover their fear with anger, attack and defensiveness.
I am aware of how people handle their pain and sensitivity by numbing their senses.
I am aware of how the inner child seeks the reassurance of love and fears the rejection of love.
I am aware of how people want to be treated, but forsake their own self respect and self love.
I am aware of how those without internal security (faith) seek for external security (wealth).
I am aware of how little we know and how much we pretend to know.
I am aware of how backwards the world is from what really is real.
I am aware of how humanity is seeking for Love in all the wrong places.
I am aware of how people need to let it all go to find they already know.
I am aware of how close we are to awakening and self realization.
I am aware of how we are teaching what we don’t want to learn.
I am aware of how we project our fear into those we seek to love.
I am aware of how we must learn to let show before we let go.

Humanity in its ignorance, fear and guilt has built an unreal world of ignorance, fear and guilt.
We blame God, other nations, parent, the government and the bad guys.
Until we take responsibility for our mis-creation, we cannot undo what is not real.
Trying to kill, cover-up, analyze and understand to in order to fix, only maintains what we continue to believe and make “real”.

Are we willing to undo what is not true.
Are we willing to reveal what is really real?
We are responsible for our experience.
We are choosing what is true for us.
And this we will see.

Sane thoughts create a sane experience and a sane world.
Fearful thinking creates a fearful experience and a fearful world.
Loving thoughts create a loving experience and a loving world.
My thoughts see creation as good, beautiful and wholly creative.
We are created to create. What is good, beautiful and wholly creative.
Why not?

Creating my experience with joy,
Betty Lue

Friday, August 06, 2004

Everything is a Part of Everything Anyway

“Happiness runs in a circular motion.
Love is like a little boat upon the sea.
Everything is a part of Everything Anyway.
You can have it all, if you let yourself be.”

This fun group chant reminds us of the Truth of our Reality.
Everything works together for good.
Our upsets and illnesses, accidents and losses are wakeup calls.
Our awakening shows us how all things work together for Good.

When I ask for help, I open to receive the help that is given.
When I want to be right, I resist help and deny the help that is available.
When I ask, “Why?” I want to find and fix the cause.
I could ask, “How am I to respond?” or “What can I learn?”
And be open and willing to se and hear and know.

The creative power of the universe is synergistic. All things work together.
The mind and the body and the energy of Spirit are part of a greater Whole.
This unified field of consciousness is playing out the great Awakening for us all to see.
When we take response-ability for what we experience, we are playing our conscious part.

No one’s illness is separate from us.
No one’s pain goes unfelt by all.
No war belongs only to the countries involved.
No one’s tragedy belongs solely to those involved.
We are all in this together. Everything is a part of Everything.

How we respond with our thoughts, our words and our deeds is our response-ability.
Are we compassionate and understanding, or do we turn away in denial?
Are we helpful and offering heartfelt service or do we make excuses for our busyness?
Are we respectful and appreciative of others’ courage and learning or do we mock, blame or ignore?
Are we willing to respond to the fear with love and the pain with comfort?

I am aware of a statement made….”There but for the Grace of God Am I.”
And so it is, there I AM.
Our happiness lies in giving and receiving happiness.
Our peace lies in finding and extending peace from within.
Our Essence lies in shining forth the Love we are.
So it is, that I Am born again, renewed in Spirit and in Joy.

Loving you,
Betty Lue

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Easy to Blame

It is easy to blame the doctor.
It is easy to blame the war.
It is easy to blame our politicians.
It is easy to blame our parents.
It is easy to blame the environment.
It is easy to blame our partners.
It is easy to blame our job.
It is easy to blame our finances.
It is easy to blame ourselves.
And where does blame get us?
Making someone feel guilty is an attack.
Blaming ourselves causes guilt.
Blame does not motivate.
It offends the one being accused, judged and attacked.
It creates either counter-attack and our personal version of war,
Or it creates withdrawing love, withholding gratitude and blinding our true perception.

Is it so difficult to take responsibility?
Is it hard to look for ways to respond?
Is it possible the answer always lies within me?

When I see something that needs doing or calls for attention, I ask…simply…
What can I do?
How can I help?
What is the right response?
What would Jesus or Buddha or Mother Theresa do?
What does the Voice of Spirit within me invite me to do to respond?
How can I forgive and erase my judgments, so I can hear what will support the Highest Good for All?
How can I release my negativity and fear, so I can be clear?
What is the way that I would want to be treated, if I were in their shoes?
What am I willing to do right now for the good of all concerned?

You see, I am willing to be effective.
I want to bring a gift of healing and enlightenment.
I choose to give my very best.
I am here to be truly helpful..
Therefore, I am unwilling to cast stones, when I want forgiveness for my mistakes.
I refuse to judge, when I can see that my world is caught in darkness and fear.
I honor my response-ability to give the best I have even “to the least of these.”
For it is in giving that I receive.
It is in pardoning that I am pardoned.
It is in extending peace that I find peace within.

I would rather give my best than forsake my spiritual right, responsibility and freedom.
I give myself to Love and Love returns to me.
In loving, I am free.
Betty Lue

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Effective Communication

Set a goal. Know what you want the outcome to be.
Choose the best language. Know your audience preferences.
Get permission. Ask “Is this a good time to share or what might be a better time?
Clarify how much time you have. And stay within those boundaries.
Get ready. Center yourself. Be grounded in what you have to share. Balance what you are sending and what is being received.
Send your message in a language and tone that will most easily and accurately be received.
If information, be direct, concise and specific.
If a problem, share your observation, your feeling and your desire. “I notice..I feel....I want...I am willing...
Whenever possible, ask what the receiver has heard and invite their questions.
Listen attentively to what is asked or said to you. Make notes and respond specifically without rambling, defense or projection.
Ask if the receiver has anything else to share with you. Give them as much and more focus as you would want for yourself.
Do not interrupt.
Do not contradict.
Do not defend yourself.
Do not aim to be right.
Do not set a goal of winning or getting your way.
If the receiver appears angered, hurt or defensive, it is time to listen.
Take nothing personally.
Look for the underlying goal or desire.
Seek to find where there is agreement.
For example: We both want to have peace.
We both are seeking a positive outcome.
We both need respect.
We both want to be heard.
Seek to understand before being understood. Ask questions.
Get acquainted with the other’s communication style, skill level, intention, need to be right, personality needs.
Fighting yields more fighting, so seek a path of peace and unity.
When there is a values difference, know the best ways to approach the other.
Model the behavior or values you hold.
State your value’s position strongly and clearly one time only. No nagging or repeating.
Use fair consultation skills (gathering all the information and holding a neutral position when sharing.)
Apply the Serenity prayer, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Remember, if your desired outcome is to maintain a healthy relationship and open communication,
do not endanger what you value most by your need to be right and get your own way.

There is much more, but these simple, direct and effectve tools are a beginning for your practice.

Loving you,
Betty Lue

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Are You Responsible?

Dependent on someone or something and it is going nowhere?
Attached to having things your way?
Complaining about something that isn’t happening?
Being constantly upset about a difficult relationship?
Banging your head against a wall until you hurt?

Could be a product of your stubbornness and need to be right.
Could be the outcome of your false dependency?
Could be your belief in your inadequacy and fear?
Could be you think you know what’s best?
Could be not wanting to grow up and take responsibility for your life?

If asked for simple keys to spiritual enlightenment,
I would say stop blaming and start being responsible.
If asked how to build a world of freedom and peace,
I would say respect all life by taking responsibility for your thoughts, your words and your activities..
If asked to teach what works on earth,
I would teach respect, responsibility and freedom build true cooperation.

See what is beneath the surface.
Look again.
Honor the mystery in all things.
Treat yourself and all life as sacred.
Do no harm.
Be kind with your thoughts, your words and your behavior.

Be able to respond to what shows up.
Take impeccable care of your life so you can handle whatever comes your way.
Acknowledge mistakes and use them to learn.
Judge no ones’ errors, but rather learn from them.
Treat everyone with the same consideration you would want from them.

The right and privilege of pursuing life, liberty and happiness.
The consciousness to choose what is highest and best.
The willingness to allow your inner voice to guide you.
Letting Love lead the way.
Honoring a life path which inspires and offers opportunities to heal, learn and serve.

Peace and Goodwill for All.
Living in harmony with all life.
Working together for the good of all concerned.
Encouraging the best in everyone.
Creating an environment in which each one sees themselves as integral to the whole.

My focus for my life is to inspire respect, responsibility, freedom and cooperation.

May it be my joy and my life,
Betty Lue

Monday, August 02, 2004

Guidelines for Adolescence

Remember our nation is in its adolescence, and so are many of its people.

People who get caught making mistakes want to be caught.
While they may squirm, become sullen, defensive and try to justify and blame others, they really want to learn.
When someone has made an error, broken agreements, done harm to themselves or others, gone against their own values, your response either facilitates or deters their learning, the healing and their spiritual growth.
When you “catch” someone making a mistake, your punitive reaction or caring response has a powerful impact on the outcome.

We can react with fear and judgment, anger and punishment, rejection and avoidance.
We can respond with love and forgiveness, listening and understanding, support and encouragement.
We can be proactive and ask ourselves how we can create an environment, where it is easier to confess mistakes
and make changes before there are detrimental consequences.

In all relationships there are five primary areas to be addressed for success.
Joining with a common goal for both or all parties in a family.
Honesty without withhold, secrecy or negative consequences for confessing.
Equality with everyone encouraged to give their very best at all times.
Modeling our best and expecting the best builds respect, responsibility and teamwork.
Commitment to what is highest and best for all concerned is essential.
In serving our own needs at the expense of others we feel separate, guilty and defensive.
Responsibility for the quality of our relationship without guilt or blame requires the most conscious one to be aware, to express, to request, to encourage, to coach and mentor others to be responsible for their thoughts, words and actions.

No one grows into their fullness without accepting the full responsibility of having freedom of choice.
No one can becomes responsible without knowing what works for the good of all.
No one can know what works for their family, friends and partners, if family members are silent.
When we are not authentic in our relationships, others may come to believe their behavior does not matter.
Ignoring the teen who is abusing their body or privileges, our money and the benefits they receive from parents convinces them their irresponsible behavior is of no consequence.
“If I don’t matter to those who love me, why should my behavior matter to me?”

How we treat our children and adolescents teaches them their value in our world.

Listen deeply to your children.
Look for what they are really asking from you.
They want listening, understanding and to know they are being heard.
They want direction, and guidance, freedom from fear and abandonment.
They want relevant rules and guidelines which give them structure and encourage a values-based life.
They want parental requests which are obvious and specific, unemotional and direct.
They want written words and contracts with explicit consequences and results.
They want help when they make mistakes rather then resentment and retribution.
Help them learn to accept the natural consequences.
You as parent or provider, authority or householder, need to take care of yourself, your money and your belongings.
Do not martyr or sacrifice. This leads to resentment and covert hostility in you and guilt for the other.

To teach responsibility, we must accept full responsibility.
Where we err as a parent is to expect others to know what we know, to understand without education and information.
Where we err as helpers is to think everyone sees their worth and wants to give their best to the world.
Where we err as women is to believe everyone knows how to love and be happy.
Where we err as teachers is to not hear what is needed and offer specifics.
We want to see others as being the same as we are.
We forget that everyone has their own path and their life experiences, unique to themselves.

To give freedom to someone who really does not understand responsibility is foolish.
To trust someone who does not trust themselves is to expect what is unlikely.
To deny, forget and avoid the one calling for help is to perpetuate the pain.
We must learn to respond with respect and love, teach with specifics and our own example, and guide with focus and clarity.

Everyone seeks to do their best and many do not know how...
Loving you,
Betty Lue

Sunday, August 01, 2004


This is my birthday month, and so I am called to look at mywhole life.
This life is mine to cherish and use or to abuse and discard.
This life is mine to enjoy and fulfill or to criticize and ignore.
This precious life is mine.
Each day is mine to use as I choose.
What a gift of absolute and total trust in who I am.
Our creator must really believe in us.

The inner voice, our conscience of guilt, or our inspired voice of hope…we choose what we believe.
Paths of self pleasure and suffering, human love and caring…we choose which one we walk.
Being alone, separate and often lonely or being together, joined and in love….we choose our mates.
Consumed by fear, fighting and fantasy or welcoming inspiration, peace and joyful living…our choice.

I spend sometime everyday surveying the landscape of my life.
I choose the ground on which I build my home base, the hills I climb and the friends I invite to join me.
When I make mistakes as all must do to learn, I enjoy the learning and I value my freedom to choose.
Our lives are too rich to put into a vault, to be hidden and saved.
Our lives are too brief to be wasted on wanting.
Our lives are too important to be given away to another’s direction.
Our lives are too precious to be treated with disrespect and dismissal.

Every day is a gift.
Each life is important.
Each one is integral to the whole.
Each creation is to be honored.

How I spend my birthday month..and more…is to ponder the value, the virtues, the learning, the gifts.
How I spend sometime every day is to ask within, “Who Am I ?”
How can I give the gift of myself more fully and freely?
How can I spend this day and everyday with full appreciation for All I have received and All I am giving?
I am here to receive and fully give the messages I receive.
I am here to be fully present to what is mine.
I can only clean my own inner house.
I am not to clean yours.
I can only sing my songs and encourage you to be true to you.
I can only be the whole being I Am and to play my part without doubt or fear.

Let this be your rebirth Day.
We all have been given a rare and awesome gift by a Loving source.
Unwrap and enjoy the gift you are.
Give yourself the gift of being fully Present and receiving the precious Presence.

You are a treasure to me,
Betty Lue

You are invited to a celebration on August 16 where we share fun, friendship and our favorite potluck foods. Email me if you would like to join in the festivities. There will be a special inspiring game, sharing of our favorite wrapped treasures so everyone gets a gift or two.