Sunday, September 30, 2012

REUNION = Connections

Reunion was created in 1976  mostly by  students in my community college Positive Parenting class, committed to  learning  better ways of living and loving.  Together we learned how to relate and communicate better, how to heal  past mistakes, how to create a better future, how to connect with our own source of inspiration, how to live on purpose and build good neighborhood and live in a world that would be safe, fun and easy for all people.  Reunion works because we are all teachers and students, reminders for one another. Betty Lue

Reunion facilitates connecting and reuniting with ourselves, with others and with our Source.
It matters not how or when we connect, because one day we shall see we are all One. 
It matters not how you define your special connections with others or with your Source.
It matters only that you remember you are not alone, for we really are all One. (alone= all one)

There are many ways to connect with our minds.
***With meditation in with silence, mantras and chanting.
***With prayer spoken or simply thoughts flowing thru heart and mind.
***With music and movement allowing the flow to extend to all in Love.

There are many ways to connect with our emotions.
***With sympathy and feeling others pain and grief.
***With empathy feelings what we believe others may feel.
***With love and assurance, holding absolute trust in All Good in them and for them.

There are many ways to connect with our bodies.
*** With gentle respectful touch and healing hands. 
***With hugs and kisses, and sweet stroking of the face and hair.
*** With making love and sharing physical pleasure.

There are many ways to connect with inspiration.
***Sharing Inspiring stories, both written and spoken.
***With art and music shared with one or many,
***With shared inspiring programs and adventures.

There are many ways to connect with Service.
 ***Meals prepared and shared with gratitude.
***Kindnesses given for the joy of giving.
***Errands, gifts and time shared simply to be together.

There are many ways to connect with reminders of connection.
***Thank you notes and phone calls written and received.
*** Special celebrations of holidays, personal holidays and events. 
***Invitations to movies or for dinner or events.

How many ways do you remember to connect with your loved ones?
How many ways do you connect with your Source of inspiration?
How many ways do you remember to connect with yourself?
Are you willing to open to more connection and more Reunion?

Reunion Ministries is connected with you always.
Through Daily and weekly Loving Reminders, written and emailed by me daily.
Through occasional Relationship and Parenting reminders written and emailed to those on my lists.
Through my books, Relationship Reminders (available on and more later this year.
Through our Sunday talks available on line at or CD by request.
Through our classes and workshops recorded weekly, available on line and CD by request.
Through emailed requests for phone coaching and counseling by appointment. 800-919-2392
Through appointments at three centers in Pleasant Hill, Brentwood and Hidden Valley Lake, California.
Through both individual, couple and family retreats at the Hermitage in Hidden Valley Lake.
Through group retreats in Kailia-Kona, Hawaii and at the Lake House in Hidden Valley Lake.
Through our 42 Reunion ordained ministers and their inspired service in all they think, say and do.
Through our Reunion email prayer circle and those it reaches with positive prayer.
Through everything you are and do with your Inspired loving connections.
Through all our healing and inspiring creations and connections around the world and beyond.
Through our life of inspired Service and Loving Reminders wherever we go and whatever we do.

We are united in Love with you,
Betty Lue

Saturday, September 29, 2012

What To Do about Mistakes?

Do you notice the mistakes I often make?
Does it bother you or amuse you or make no difference?
I find that if I take the time to correct every little mistake I make, I wouldn’t have time to do the work I do.
I know that correcting mistakes and editing my writing is not nearly as much fun as just writing!

What about you?

What To Do about Mistakes? (Yours, Mine and Ours)
Full moon tonight at about 8PM PDT 

Ignore them? 
Forgive them?
Punish them? 
Learn from them?

What is your pleasure?
What gives you joy?  
What works for you?
What do you prefer?

Show up. 
Speak up. 
Tell the Truth 
Detach from the Outcome.

How do you show up?
Are you really present in your life?
Do you sleep walk or really choose your way to go?
Are you willing to see and be exactly where you are as you are?

Do you speak up?
What do you say?
Are you willing to express your whole and holy Self?
Do you say what others want to hear or what is your calling?

Do you tell your truth or the High Truth?
Do you share your petty discontent or your Loving Guidance?
Do you give the best you have or give your opinions and complaints?
Are you open to forgiving your little thoughts and listen within for your kindness?

Do you know how to detach?
Do you understand what it means to let go and let God?
Are you clear you are not here to manage, demand or control others?
Are you aware how our pushing and punishing interferes with the natural healing process?

When we play our part on the stage of life, we often do not see the whole picture.
When we express what is ours to say and do, we may not realize what is really true.
When we leave the set and our performance, we may not even remember the lines we spoke.
In this as in all things, we need to give to God for the greater Good and trust it is done for Love.

With freedom and trust, we know all things work together for good.
With Loving intention, we realize our part may not be perfect, but Goodness is in our heart.
With a desire to be happy and facilitate others’ happiness, too, we can only choose our way of Joy.
With Peace as our goal, we recognize that we must forgive all “mistakes” to see the Holiness.

Respond to your mistakes with awareness, acknowledgement, forgiveness and listen within.
With affirmation, acceptance and appreciation for the parts we each and all play, you will know Peace.

Loving us, mistakes and all, as we realize, everything has a healing and holy purpose,
Blessed be.
Betty Lue

Friday, September 28, 2012

Telling the Truth

What truth you tell depends on what you want to teach and learn.
What truth you tell is determined by your intention.
What truth you tell will decide the outcome.
What truth you tell is a decision you must make.

What truth you tell can destroy or create.
What truth you tell can depress or inspire.
What truth you tell can create fear or Love.
What truth you tell can lead to conflict or peace.

You can tell the healing and Holy Truth or the hurtful and worldly truth.
You can tell what the other wants to hear or what the other needs to know.
You can tell what you believe is true or what you perceive is true.
You can tell what is truly helpful or what you know is harmful.

Consider telling the truth you would want to hear. ( The Golden Truth)
Consider telling the truth that is loving, not scaring.
Consider telling the truth that is freeing, not limiting.
Consider telling the truth that is trusting, not suspicious.

We are often asked to share the truth.
When we realize that there are many truths, many perspectives, many beliefs, we recognize our own.
When we understand there is no absolute Truth, we acknowledge what is ours and open to others.
When we all have shared our way of perceiving and believing, we begin to respect others’ view as well.

Let’s look for the underlying intention in what we share.
Let us acknowledge the outcome we desire in what we communicate.
Let us remember what we say impacts others and their well being.
Let’s teach what we want to learn and say what the other will be open to hearing.

Are you willing to acknowledge, this is “my” truth?
Are you willing to ask, “What is your truth?”
Are you the willing to listen to others to understand their viewpoint?
Are you willing to accept what others see and know, believe and trust?

When we are truly willing to be open to all the truth, we realize there is no ultimate “Truth”!
When we see with forgiveness and no judgments, we accept what others believe to be True.
When we are not defensive, we can state what is true for us without justification unless asked.
When we are open-minded, we can accept others without needing proof and without argument.

Agreeing to disagree on what we see and believe is key to respectful relationships.
Understand that everyone has learned different beliefs and different truths they trust.
When we try to break down others beliefs, we may be asking them to relinquish what they trust.
When we threaten others truths,  they may feel we are attacking them and their survival.

Live your truths. 
Share your truth when invited.
Trust your truths as long as they work for you.
Change your beliefs when you find a better way.

Trusting you and me in living what we see is best for one and all,
Betty Lue 

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Old Habits

Betty Lue,
I don't even realize all the habitual negative habit patterns I am telling myself. 
How do we break the habit? 
And why do we even have that habit to begin with? 
Isn’t it just easier to be negative and see what's wrong?

This is a great question!!
You probably learned it in utero and early infancy and childhood. 
Our elders and our world validate the negative, believing for safety, we must be vigilant for what is wrong. 
We were obedient in learning what they taught, honoring their teaching as are gift of love and respect.
We now are growing up to see the world our beliefs created and can easily undo and choose what is true. 

We need to unlearn or forgive and erase and then choose again for what we want to see and be and do.
Affirmations we can choose to begin the unlearning process:
I forgive myself for scaring myself.
I forgive myself for sacrificing myself.
I forgive myself for limiting myself.
I forgive myself for neglecting myself.
I forgive myself for denying myself.
I forgive myself for lack of trusting myself.
I forgive myself for not respecting myself.
I forgive myself for playing helpless.
I forgive myself for quitting on myself.
I forgive myself for believing we are victims.

My mind automatically erases everything that is not wholly true and loving.  
Affirmations 20 times daily written and spoken until you are clear.  

We need to recognize that we live in a world of duality, black and white, wrong and right, death and life, losing and winning. 
When we live in duality, there is a call for discernment.  
Which do I prefer?
Which makes me happy, healthy and clear? 
Which thought leads me to the outcome I want?
When we recognize we have choice in all things, we can experiment to see what thoughts lead to good.

When our thinking is undisciplined, we may allow our mind to wander or attach to worldly thinking.
When we think our emotions are in charge, we may let our feeling make choices for us.
When we believe that we are at the effect of the world, we may let go and let the “world” happen.
When we know we can choose for the highest thoughts, feeling and actions, we are aligned with Spirit.

People often allow others to lead them into another’s beliefs.
People may think they are not sovereign on their life path.
People may be lazy and simply let their history recreate the same.
People may be scared to take full responsibility for choosing their way to think and believe, feel and behave.

Try out the path of letting go with forgiveness and choosing again for Good.
Try releasing the past of attachment and choosing again for Freedom.
Try undoing the worlds’ errors, negativity and victimization and choosing again for happiness and wholeness.
Try relinquishing defending against the imagined enemies and choosing again for responding with Love.

What we resist, persists.
What we perceive, we strengthen.
What we appreciate, we increase.
Let’s fake it until we make it so.

Loving us all as we grow and know the Truth within.
Betty Lue

I highly recommend you try this program for 30 days and see the difference!

30 Days to Healing and Seeing things Differently!
This exercise has a profound impact on how we see and live our lives.
This daily practice will heal and transform your life
With continued practice, there will be a spiritual awakening.

Forgiveness heals our perception and gives us Response-Ability.
Choice empowers us to Create our Experience Consciously.
Gratitude expands what we Choose and increases our Joy.

Daily Practice:
Begin each morning with a pad of lined paper and a pen.
Write and say 30 forgivenesses as they come to mind. 
Simply write “I forgive”…and let the rest just come from within. 
(No need to understand or feel anything.)
I forgive you for being mean.
I forgive myself for letting anyone hurt me.
I forgive my body’s limitation.
I forgive myself for being late.
I forgive everything.
Make the sound “AAAH” for 1-2 minutes.
Imagine that you are opening your mind.
Now write and say 30 Choices. 
I choose to be happy. 
I choose to be free.  
I choose to do what I love. 
I choose to forgive….
In the Evening (before bed)
Write and say 30 Gratitudes
I appreciate the energy I have.
I love being happy.
I am grateful I have you in my life.
I thank God.
Make the  sound “OM”  the Universal sound for Love and God for 1-2 minutes.

PS Even a few of each is better than none.  
Do what you can and trust it is working.

Loving You always, 
Betty Lue

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

This Is Our Time

Now is our time to free ourselves from our past and be true to our True Nature.
Many are shaped by their history, but few pioneer a new morality and new vision for themselves.  
This is our time.

Most people and paths are shaped by the past, either conforming or resisting.
Most people are proving their parents and family cultural, their religion and nationality right.
Many people are busy exclaiming and blaming the wrongs done to them and to others.
But few are healing the wounds, forgiving the past and envisioning the future they seek to be.

This is our choice and our challenge.
The past is long gone.
The mistaken are not here.
The work is to heal and reveal new vision we choose to create.

Whenever we tell stories about what used to be, we are revisiting and recreating its being.
When we continue to blame, the guilt we create divides us and re-wounds what was healing.
When we keep visioning what is but an unwelcome memory, we attack our wholeness and hope.
When we rekindle the feelings revealing what is but a faint scar, we set ourselves up for failure.

Yes, this is our time.
And we are the pioneers seeking to undo what never was true, but passed on generation to generation.
Yes, this is our time to quench all the fires, acknowledge our inspiring desires, to build again what is Good.
We are the ones to tell a new story and sing a new song, to reclaim our true vision where all can belong.

Be willing to declare victory over the past.
Be willing to demonstrate that only Love will last.
Be willing to include everything in this cleansing fire.
Be willing to end what was now and for always to begin again.

What am I saying to you?
Stop with the excuses.
Step forward in faith.
Stop making anyone wrong.
Grant everyone Grace.
Stop with sad songs.
Sing out loud and clear.
We can claim Love for everyone here.
There is no “poor me”.
Set everyone free.
Be responsible.
You are capable.
You will create with your mind.
Follow your heart song.
Make no one wrong.
Give everyone space.
Unlearn the lessons of the past.
Create a new vision and the True You.

Trusting and Freeing you and all to have the life we really want.
Betty Lue

Assertive People Do:
1. Decide what they want.
2. Decide if it is fair.
3. Ask for it clearly.
4. Are not afraid of taking risks.
5. Are calm and relaxed.
6. Express feelings openly.
7. Give and take compliments easily.
8. Accept and give fair evaluation.

Assertive People Do not:
1. Beat about the bush.
2. Go behind other people's backs.
3. Bully.
4. Call people names.
5. Bottle up their feelings.

Aids For Developing Assertiveness:
1. Models
2. Love and encouragement
3. Caring evaluation
4. A sense of values
5. A basic feeling of security

Comparing Responses
There are two primitive, adaptive, instinctive responses when encountering a problem area:  1)  a desire for flight or 2)  a desire to fight. We mostly experience these responses as fear or anger.  Both responses are basically "back-brain" or reactive in nature.  Assertiveness brings the "fore-brain" into play, bringing objectivity and "rationality".

The more I respect myself, the more I respect others.
The more I respect myself, the more others respect me.
The more I respect myself, the more others respect themselves.
Therefore, I choose to respect myself more.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012


Sometimes Truth hurts, but then it sets us free.”
What truths are you unwilling to see?
Can it be something in me that is creating the world I see?
Is it my thoughts that are designing the experiences I have?

When the light shines bright, we can see what we had kept in the dark.  
When we see what is hidden, we can choose what we want to let go.
When we choose to let go of what no longer serves, we are free.
When we are free, we choose again for what we want to be.

Many run from the truth of their reality because they want no responsibility.
Many hide from what they fear is theirs to heal, because they don’t want to reveal.
The secrecy of concealing shows everywhere in what they see.
The revelation of truth is healing and sets them free.

Awareness with grace is healing.
Awareness with willingness to see without culpability is gift.
Awareness with interest and learning is always helpful.
Awareness with no judgment flows back into wholeness.

When we see what we are holding in our minds, hearts, and bodies, we can heal.
When we tell our truth on paper, in prayer, in privacy, we can relinquish our stuckness.
When we are willing to forgive and just live, we are healed.
Tell the whole truth, nothing but the truth about mistakes and release it all for Good.

We keep creating what was not healed.
We keep experiencing what has not been totally forgiven.
We keep reminding of ourselves of what we fear forgetting.
We keep telling the same old story, thinking it will change our lives.

What will it take to undo the past?
What must you do to let only Love last?
What can you do to relinquish attack?
When will you concede it is time to let go?

No bandaid will heal what you believe is still there.
No medicine can vanish the scar you hold in mind.
No angel can clear what you at attached to keeping.
No promise can undo what you want to be true.

We have stories of limitation I keep telling my self.
Change your mind.
We have reasons to believe we are lacking in some way.
Change your words.
We have justification for why we see ourselves as less than.
Change your attitude.
We have choices we keep making hoping for a different result.
Change your course.

The Truth is we are unlimited, when we believe it.
The Truth is we are abundant, when we live it.
The Truth is we are able, when we go for it.
The Truth is we are creating it, when we suspend all guilt and blame.

Let’s be responsible and have fun with the opportunity to experiment;.
Let’s do the work and stop quitting on ourselves and reaffirming our old stories.
If at first we don’t succeed and try, try again.
Let’s stop hiding behind the fears and failures, the tears and tragedies.
Let’s make stars out of scars. (Robert Schuller)
Let’s give up what isn’t ours and free ourselves to be all we imagine. 

Tell the High Truth, not our misperceptions and human mistakes.
Tell the Whole Truth, of healing and holiness.
Tell the Real Truth, of the reality of Love and Grace.
See your life with forgiving eyes and you will know whereof I speak.

Loving us all as one, under the Sun.
Betty Lue

The Light has come, I have forgiven the world.
Fear has gone.  I am unlimited in power and in peace. ACIM

The 12 Principles of Attitudinal Healing

1.       The essence of our being is love.
2.       Health is inner peace, healing is letting go of fear.
3.       Giving and receiving are the same.
4.       We can let go of the past and of the future.
5.       Now is the only time there is, and each instant is for giving.
6.       We can learn to love ourselves and others by forgiving rather than by judging.
7.       We can become love finders rather than fault finders.
8.       We can choose and direct ourselves to be peaceful inside, regardless of what is happening outside.
9.       We are students and teachers to each other.
10.    We can focus on the whole of life, rather than the fragments.
11.    Since love is eternal, change need not be viewed as fearful.
12.    We can always perceive others as either extending love or giving a call for help.

Attitudinal Healing affirms that we are responsible for our thoughts and whatever feelings we experience.
Attitudinal Healing encourages us to re-examine our relationships, bringing them into the present by releasing past judgments and grievances.
Attitudinal Healing reminds us that perception is a mirror of what is in our mind.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Everything Is On Purpose

(Or getting us back on purpose!)

Nothing is an accident.  Everything is an on purpose.” RW
If we began to acknowledge everything as a gift, we would see all things differently.
If we recognized we are here to be and do and have love, we would seek love in all things.
If we realized that everything that is not love is really a call for love, we would respond with Love.
If we were willing to look for the light beneath the dark, we would become enlightened.

And so it is, we come to the understanding, we are here to erase all fear and undo all blocks to Love.
We begin by providing light, where all things seem dark and offering love when all seems to be fearful.
We are the ones to step away from the faulty thinking and offer our blessings of inspiration and healing.
We willingly and freely give Love and have faith, when others seem to falter in their fear and pain.

Life provides opportunities to question and doubt.
Life may offer the option of forgetting our reason for being.
Life may bring experiences for us to heal and reveal the need for healing.
Life brings encounters which we can heal as we forgive our own misunderstanding.

We, you and I, are the ones to step up onto higher ground.
We can, individually and collectively, forgive all things.
We can in all encounters provide the wisdom, courage and peace to show a better way.
We can be those who remember our real purpose is to remove all barriers to Love (Trust and Freedom).

When things are difficult, sad, painful, scary, regretful, upsetting and unkind, we can bring forth healing.
When life seems unfair, chaotic, confusing, disastrous, dangerous, duplicitous, we can bring forth faith.
When all seems lost in drama, disease, death, disaster, devastation, we can offer hope.
When the world seems to be spinning out of control and doomed, we can give Love.

What would it take for you to forsake the fearful world and step up into hope, faith and charity?
What would it take for you to forgive the lack of love you see and step into a Spiritual Reality?
What would it take for you to undo all that is not wholly true and love and simply believe what can be?
Is it possible that we, your world, is waiting for you, just One, who will remember Love, simply Love?

Everything works together for Good to awaken us to the Good that already exists.
Everything is a gift and a blessing, because it offers the opportunity to love and trust no matter what.
All things bless us with the outpicturing of what lies within us to be revealed and healed and/or blessed.
When we can see all things with forgiveness, we begin to see what is the reality of Love.

Forgive and choose again.
Erase and create anew.
Undo and affirm what is true.
Let go and begin again for Goodness sake.

The good we seek is not far away, when we easily say goodbye to yesterday.
Choose today to have Good, do Good and be the Good we seek.
When all we think and say and feel and do is the Good we want, there will be nothing else.
Yes, pushing and punishing, guilting and blaming, do not heal or make whole.

Only forgiveness, an eraser filled with Love, works on the whiteboard of life.
Loving you,  
Betty Lue

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Learning the Lessons of Life

Autumn =Harvest and Letting Go

When we harvest with gratitude and let go with grace, we are content.
When we harvest with complaint and let go with grief, we are malcontent.
This is our choice!
Do we see freedom, abundance and Blessing or do we see the limitation, lack and loss?

The lessons of life appear to be in our hands and of our own choice.
We can see life as being critical, dangerous and difficult or as fun safe and easy.
We are choosing according to our imprinting by family and history until we choose again.
When we allow the past to decide our future, we are doomed to repeat what we may not want.

What we sow, we are reaping.
When we neglect, we diminish.
What we appreciate, we increase.
What we deny, we bury.

What we want to grow in ourselves, we need to plant, nourish and nurture daily.
What we want to grow in our relationships, we need to identify, appreciate and enjoy.
What we want to grow in our families, we need to declare and care for with awareness and validation.
What we want to grow in our world requires that we live it and share it with everyone all the time.

Too often life is taken without appreciation. 
Too often we sit by and watch with judgment.
Too often we think life comes accidentally.
Too often we become victims, denying our part.

When we are infants, we wait for life to feed us.
When we are toddlers, we seek only to get life to meet our needs.
When we are of school age, we go along to belong.
When we are adolescents, we find what works and follow the rules to succeed.
When we are adults, we seek principles to live by that are fair and caring for others.
When we are spiritually mature, we live responsibly, benefitting others.
As we learn, grow and free ourselves from the imprinting of our family and society, we mature.
As we mature, we forgive the past history, false beliefs, inappropriate behaviors.
As we harvest what we sow with our blame and guilt, we learn by taking full responsibility.
As we let go with grace, blessing what no longer serves us, we are filled with the wisdom of gratitude.

Life is a learning university, a laboratory of exploration and discovery.
We are the scientists here to research and learn.
We are the ones who set the goals, the process by which we learn and the results we seek to validate..
We are the active learners who participate as victims or pioneers, nay-sayers or appreciators.

 Learning is fun, safe and easy when we learn to let go with ease and harvest with gratitude.
Loving and Learning and Letting Go,  
Betty Lue

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Happiness Is a Choice

You can choose to be happy.
Perhaps the simplest way to find happiness is to be grateful.
When we are giving thanks, we feel blessed.
When we feel blessed, we feel good.

Are you happy with your life?
Are you grateful for your life?
Are you happy with your Self?
Do you appreciate Who You Are?

It takes so little to change your thoughts and words.
You must be aware that you can choose what thoughts to think.
You must observe how your thoughts generate your emotions.
You must take responsibility for choosing your thoughts and words.

When you think positive and affirming thoughts, you are content.
When you think negative and demeaning thoughts, you are unhappy.
When you belittle what you do and who you are, you feel bad.
When you feel bad you tend to think more about what is wrong.

To change your focus of attention is a choice.
You can see what is missing or see what is present.
You can focus on what you don’t have or appreciate what you do have.
You can see what you have done or look for all you have left to do.

It is a habit of mind, a learned response, to think and speak in the way you do.
You can change your habits of mind.
You can choose where you place your attention.
You can unlearn what is not good for you and choose a better way.

Life is good and getting better.
Or life is bad and getting worse.
Life is a gift and a blessing.
Or life is a mess and a curse.

What you think and say becomes a belief.
What you believe you will see and create.
What you see and create is your responsibility.
What you appreciate increases and what you condemn you create again.

When we want life to get better, we need to appreciate the life we have.
When we want life to stay the same, we need to take it for granted.
When we want life to get worse, we need to complain and condemn.
When we want to change our life, we simply need tp change our thoughts and words.

Happiness is the choice that changes our world always for the better.
Thanks for being Happy!
Betty Lue

Friday, September 21, 2012

Happy Healthy Relationships!

See my latest book Relationship Reminders (see menu bar for info). 
Now available on and Balboa Press.

Do you know how to be content in all your relationships?
Do you know how to stay healthy in your relationships? 
Do you know what it means to be supported in being your best?
Do you understand how to support another in being their best?

Remember this: 
You are totally responsible for the quality of your relationships.
You expect and encourage the kind of relationship you want to have.
If you want an argumentative relationship, you can create one.
If you want an easy relationship you can have one.
If you want a dependent relationship, you can have one.
If you want a dishonest relationship you can have one.
If you want a parent-child relationship, you can create one.

Our relationships give us opportunities to learn, grow, heal and create.
We have what we need to learn from.
We have what we want to grow from.
We have what shows us what we need to heal.

Where you are needy, you create dependent relationships.
When you are wounded, you create healing relationships.
When you are picky, you create critical relationships.
When you are inspiring, you create inspirational relationship.

It is up to the most conscious and conscientious one to create the quality of the relationship.
(If you are reading this reminder, the most conscious one is you!)
When you take the time to list the ideal qualities in your relationship, you will ask your partner for the same.
When you are clear about what you want, you will model your ideal and teach the other with respect.
When you are clear about their wants, you will respect their ideal and learn to give the same with respect.

Relationships stir up and expose all both partners unhealed stuff, past wounds and misunderstanding.
Relationships work best when each person is totally responsible for healing and correcting themselves.
Relationships provide the safety for the thoughts, feelings, behaviors and imprinting to be revealed.
Relationships based on trust and freedom rather than fear and restriction provide the easiest healing.

Healthy relationships benefit all parties.
Happy relationships make decisions where both win. (no one loses)
Healthy relationships support the realization of each persons potential.
Happy relationships share equally in providing the opportunities for learning, enjoying, contribution and fun.

The best relationships are inspiring and respectful
The best relationships are healing and helpful..
The best relationships are sharing and supporting.
The best relationships are built on honesty and trust.
You can heal and transform any relationship. 
You can bring every relationship to completion.
You can end every relationship with honorable closure.
You can lift any relationship to the best each party wants it to be.

Loving you, loving me, loving you, loving all.
Betty Lue
¤      I love you      ¤
and I know you love me too.

The freedom for you and I to be who we are.
The freedom to live life as we do.
The freedom to make mistakes and learn from them.
The freedom to express our own truth as we see it.

The trust that there is a constant flow of love, 
no matter what.
The trust that, in spite of life’s problems, 
we believe in and support each other’s right 
to live as we choose.
The trust that in adversity, 
there is healing and learning and gifts of love.
The trust that under conflict and emotional expression,
there is love

I love you and I trust you.
I free you to be all you are.

Betty Lue 1978

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Have You Grown Up Yet?

Are you a mature adult?
Are you willing to be responsible?
Do you care about others as much as yourself?
Are you dependable and accountable and honest?

Are you rebelling or excelling?
Do you give your best and forgive the rest?
Do you stop what is not good for you?
Do you contribute rather than expect or take?

Many people who say they are mature adults think and do and say immature things.
Many people who are 21 are still dependent on their parents.
Many people who are of voting age, don’t vote and don’t care how their government works.
Many people who are of drinking age, drink and drive, endangering lives.

Many people who have cars, guns and drugs are careless with their use. 
Many people who have made marriage agreements disrespect their spouse.
Many people who have jobs and bank accounts don’t pay their bills on time.
Many people who earn money do not pay taxes and don’t care.

Maturity is obeying the law.
Maturity is honoring your agreements.
Maturity is being dependable and accountable.
Maturity is being totally responsible for your words and deeds.

When we are mature, we take care of our families, parents and children.
When we are mature, we take care of our homes, cars and possessions.
When we are mature, we care for our health, our communities and civic duties.
When we are mature, we are respectful, kind and contribute to the welfare of others.

Why stay dependent?
Why be irresponsible?
Why stay an adolescent?
Why not be capable and responsible?

If we elders demonstrate that it is serious, scary and difficult, it doesn’t seem worthwhile.
If we adults use threats, punishment, nagging and name-calling, it induces guilt.
If we grownups can’t have fun and complain about life, we encourage staying young.
We need to demonstrate the joys and fulfillment of being mature, to encourage our youth to mature.

Consider giving children as much responsibility as they can handle successfully and a little more.
Consider giving privileges when they are earned and removing them when they are misused.
Consider treating the responsible youth with appreciation and respect.
Consider teaching all children the benefits of being adult rather than to downfalls and dangers.

It may be time for us to again celebrate rites of passage, rather than take it for granted.
It may be time to stop assuming everyone matures at the same ages and stages.
It may be time to teach what responsible behavior is rather than dwell on what is irresponsible.
It may be time to reconsider how much we give and expect from our children and young adults.

Let us begin with ourselves.
Are you as responsible and mature as you want for your children and your friends and neighbors?

Blessings us all in growing up,
Betty Lue

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Do No Harm

If you want to be happy, do no harm.
If you want to have success, do no harm.
If you want a good relationship, do no harm.
If you want to raise good kids, do no harm.

If you want to feel safe, do no harm.
If you want to be confident, do no harm.
If you want to be valued, do no harm.
If you want to be loved, do no harm.

Hurting anyone or anything, including yourself creates the fear of being harmed.
What we do comes back to us, either actually or in our psyches.
When we hurt another in anyway, we fear being hurt by someone, somewhere, sometime.
When we hurt, scare, demean, reject or abandon the ones we love, we are harming them.

Violence begets violence.
When we feel fear, we may become violent.
When we are violent with those who are violent, the violence escalates.
When fear and violence escalate, we have wars where innocent people are harmed.

We can end war.
We can create peace.
We can end violence.
We can return to kindness and respect.

Respect others boundaries and bodies.
Respect others property and privacy.
Respect others ideas and individuality.
Respect others value and values.

Respect your own boundaries.
Respect your own body.
Respect your home and car and belongings.
Respect your neighborhood and world.

Respect everyone’s right to life, liberty and happiness.
Respect people’s beliefs and life work, principles and ideals.
Respect the choice to have or not have, to do or not do, to be or quit on being.
Respect without needing to judge or critique, question or negate, hurt or reject .

It is time for us to grow up and mature.
It is time for us to manage our own lives, and stop minding other’s business.
It is time to make the best choices for ourselves without needing other’s permission or approval.
It is time to be wholly responsible for what we create for ourselves.

Do no harm with your thoughts.  May they bring blessings.
Do no harm with your words. May they be encouraging.
Do no harm with your actions.  May they be of service.
Attend to your thoughts, words and deeds, for they reach and teach everyone everywhere.

Be gentle, respectful and inspiring with your thoughts, words and interactions,
Loving you, Betty Lue

Keys to Successful Relationships ( Constructive choices)

Join with Love and Respect-Create a common vision or shared goal.

Honest with compassion and kindness- Communicate your highest intention.

Equality in Realizing the Good in All-Each giving the best they know in each moment.

Commit to Healing and Wholeness- Agree to what is highest and best for both. 

Be Responsible without Guilt or Blame- Respond to everything with forgiveness and peace. 
Listen with open-mindedness. Be willing to let go and choose again for Love. 

Blocks to Healthy Relationships (Clear all destructive patterns.)
1) Nagging and Criticism ( Use constructive requests and be specific.)
2) Defensiveness (Listen and make no excuses.)
3 Contempt with Name-Calling, Belittling and Shaming ( No using guilt or blame.)
4) Stone-Walling, Ignoring and silent treatment  ( Talk or write when calm.)
5) Belligerence, Threatening, Demanding ( Forgive yourself for using power to get your way.)