Relationships

We are in relationship with everything around us.

We are relating to everyone we think of or encounter.

We are in relationship with the sun and moon, the earth and sea.

We are relating to every thought, word and interaction.

Life is a body offers the unique experience of relationship.

With our senses, sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing, we recognize what appears to be separate from us.

We think when we see something or someone outside ourselves that they are separate.

However, consider the possibility there is nothing truly and totally separate from us.

Perhaps All That Is…is the One We Are.

Perhaps the babe you hold inyour arms is part of you.

Perhaps the sun you feel warming your skin is there for you.

Perhaps the emotions you feel in another are really there for you.

If everything is part of us, then we are always in relationship with ourselves.

Perhaps every relationship you experience is really an opportunity to connect with yourself.

Perhaps every upset is really your chance to soothe yourself.

Perhaps ever experience of separation is only that which comes from withholding love from yourself.

This morning here in Hawaii, as I was doing T’ai Chi Chih, I noticed that the plants responded to my chi.

I began to converse in my mind and thank them with my love.  

The colors became more brilliant in my vision.

And with my sharing I discovered, I could hear and feel their response.

When I watched a father and son walk together, I could feel the loving connection between the two.

I sent them my deepest love and blessings for the love they share with one another and with all of us.

I notice when I love everything I see, I can feel and depply experience the love coming back to me.

When I separate myself and think only of what I need or want for me, I feel separate and on my own.

I believe we all have these experiences, somewhere in time/space.

I know that we all have had moments of Oneness and no sense of separation.

These experiences seem to be forgotten easily and we are left alone with nothing to trust.

This is where we need to remember to give, not get the Love  and Goodness we seek.

Sometime when you are alone, in nature is most easy, try your own experiment.

See the differences, compare your value of what you see, and notice you feel separate and alone.

Then choose to value everything as beautiful and good and Love it all, and notice the connection.

When you are in truly Loving Relationship, it is always about what you are giving.

Relationships are the opportunity to share and declare your Love.

Relationships are place in time and space to forgive all separation.

Relationships encourage forgiving the need to get and open to always giving.

Relationships are here for our holy remembrance and healing all separation.

When we know we are connected with everything we see, we recognize, we are essential to it All.

When we experience there is no greater or lesser, no better or worse, we forgive all comparison.

When we understand that in each aspect of creation is the realization of Self, the entirety of Being.

When we relinquish all thought of attack, judgment and separation, we can See and Be All Good.

Consider releasing yourself from lonliness, lack and limitation by simply loving all you encounter.

Consider blessings everything and everyone with full appreciation and experience being blessed.

Consider relinquishing all need to compare and evaluate the worth of what you see and simply be.

Consider giving up trying to find your right relationship and place and enjoy what is already there for you.

You have all you need to know Love right now.

The blessings already are.

Betty Lue

LOVE

There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer;

No disease that enough love will not heal;

No door that enough love will not open;

No gulf that enough love will not bridge;

No wall that enough love will not throw down;

No sin that enough love will not redeem.

 It makes no difference 

  how deeply seated may be the trouble,

How hopeless the outlook,

How muddled the tangle,

How great the mistake. 

A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all.

 If only you could love enough, you would be the happiest 

and most powerful being in the world.

Emmet Fox

Be What You Seek

Are you seeking in another what you are unwilling to be?

Are you trying to find what you need to develop in you?

Are you trying to get what you need to give to yourself?

Are you looking for what you want outside yourself?

We fall in love with what we find outside that fits our needy mind.

We adore when someone else gives us what we are looking for.

We are attached to having the love and respect, we fail to give ourselves.

We crave the pleasure we fail to give ourselves.

Will it ever be enough when it is ephemeral and ever changing?

Can we find security in knowing that others change as much as we do?

Are you seeking for what is lasting in the temporary and fickle pleasures?

Can we ever  be satisfied with what seems illusive and emotionallydirected?

When you commit, commit to your Self.

When you depend, depend on You being Good to You.

When you trust, trust that the Love in you is enough.

When you Love, Love the one You are unconditionally and never falter.

When you swear you will always and only Love, trust, depend and commit to you, you are free.

When you can give yourself the best you have, you will see others need to learn the same.

When you see all relationships are the learning ground for loving ourselves, we will wake up.

When we wake up to our own ability to respond to all things with Love, we will be at peace.

We are always in relationship with ourselves.

We are here to love, trust and respect ourselves.

We can only give what we have inside.

We receive only what we believe we deserve to have.

All relationships are teaching us what we believe about ourselves.

All relationships give us a picture of what we need to heal.

All relationships are an out-picturing of what we feel is true.

All relationships show us where we have lied and deprived or responded with love to ourselves.

We can change our agreements.

We can change our mind.

We can change our behavior.

We can change our choices.

What will it be?

Seeking for love, trust, respect and appreciation from one who is unaware or incapable?

Seeking the best from someone who is giving themselves the worst?

Seeking for commitment who falters in their commitment to themselves?

Let us count on the One who knows us best.

Count on the Love, trust, respect and appreciation within you.

Count on the one who will be true and committed to you.

When you cannot trust, love, respect and appreciate you, it is time to forgive yourself everyday.

Forgiving us for seeking for love in all the wrong places,

Betty Lue

PS When you truly Love your healed and Holy Self, you know everyone is loving you the best they know!  I do.

You Are A Flower in the Garden of Life

If you would grow to be your best self

Be patient, not demanding

Accepting, not condemning

Nurturing, not withholding

Self-marveling, not belittling

Gently guiding, not pushing & punishing

For you are more sensitive than you know

Mankind is tough as war

Yet delicate as flowers

We can endure agonies

But we open fully only to warmth & light

And our need to grow is fragile as a fragrance

Dispersed by storms of will

To return only when those storms are still

So accept, respect,

Attend your sensitivity

A flower

Cannot be opened

With a hammer

Anonymous

No More Dependency

No more neediness.

No more attachment.

No more leaning.

No more trying.

What?  Isn’t this this basis of all our relationships and life itself?

When we depend on what is always changing, we may be surprised, disappointed and hurt.

When we need people to be consistent in their behavior and choices, we will feel betrayed.

When we expect others give us always their best and be dependable, we may be blind-sided.

When we are children, we need to be provided for.

When we are children, we need to attach to someone.

When we are children, we need to lean on others.

When we are children, we need to try in order to learn.

When we are adult, we must depend on ourselves.

When we are mature, we are attached to being our best.

When we are wise, we lean on our faith, our ethics and our values.

When we are grown up, we know that trying may be our excuse for not being accountable.

Adolescence seems to be a stage in which we waver back and forth depending on our whim.

In adolescence, we may expect adult privileges, but take on only childhood responsibilities.

In adolescence, we may expect to “get” our needs met, but slack off on keeping our agreements.

In adolescence, we may give many excuses for not  behaving as a responsible adult, and lean on others.

We will consistently be hurt by believing we can count on others, when we cannot count on ourselves.

We can realize how dependent we are by experiencing our erratic emotional state.

We see how much effort we put into making others fit our expectations, but are unreliable ourselves.

We learn that depending on others to fulfill our needs when they cannot fill their own is foolish.

Life is a learning university.

In every relationship, we recognize how little control we have over another’s behavior and choices.

In every relationship, we understand we are depending on something that is not dependable.

In every relationship, we learn not to depend on consistency, reliability and accountability.

People will do what they know and trust and are willing to do in each moment.

People will give us what they can count on within themselves, depending on their state .

People may be childish and dependent, adolescent and ambivalent or adult and accountable.

People may remain dependent or ambivalent their entire lives and we are foolish to believe otherwise.

We must learn to count on ourselves.

We must be willing to become responsible, accountable and dependable to ourselves.

We must choose to love, trust, respect and appreciate ourselves.

We must be the ones to give our best to and for ourselves everyday in everyway.

Loving you and me as we learn to be what we seek for ourselves, 

Betty Lue

Is it time for you to grow up and be responsible for your thoughts and feelings, for your choices and commitments?

Is it time for you to stop blaming others and being a victim and simply choose for what is best and right for you?

Is it time for you to stop depending and pretending you are incapable and unwilling to be wholly responsible?

Is it time for you to take care of your well-being by making always and only Good choices for your Highest Good?

It is time!

Affirmations for Self Healing  

by Betty Lue Lieber, MFT, Ph.D.

Letting go is fun, safe and easy.

I now easily bless and release all that no longer serves me.

I forgive with ease and let go with gratitude.

Everyone and everything is either giving love or calling for Love.

I am a Love giver.

The more I give Love, the more I have the Love I want.

Light, light, I want more light.

I choose to live with joy and give with gratitude.

I love my life and it loves me.

I have what I want and share the best I have.

Life works for me.

I am the chooser, never a loser.

Everything always works more exquisitely than I can plan.

I am clear, focused and committed.

I consciously communicate exactly what I want.

I trust in my inner knowing, always gentle, loving and true.

I let go of expectations, evaluations and disappointments.

I am creating a world of healing and love one person at a time.

The more I love and respect myself, the more others love and respect me.

The more I love and respect myself, the more I love and respect others.

The more I love and respect myself, the more others love and respect themselves.

I give myself the very best and all are blessed.

I am present, peaceful, awake and aware.

I share only the highest Truth I know and then I let go.

My happiness is contagious.

I replace all worry, fear and doubt with trust, freedom and blessing.

Peace and love and joy heal us All.

My body is a vehicle for learning only Love is Real. 

Useful suggestions for applying the technique of Autosuggestion to the Affirmations

Write each affirmation 10 to 20 times. 

Writing is an extremely powerful technique of autosuggestion.

 Work with one or more every day. Good times are just before sleeping, before starting the day and especially whenever you feel at effect.  

They can also be recorded on cassette tape and played back to yourself. 

The best way to do that is by recording each affirmation 5 or 10 times so that you have time to think about them when they are playing.

Make a list of the affirmations that are most meaningful to you.

Put specific names and situations into the affirmations.

Play with the vocabulary in the affirmation--make it personal and meaningful to  yourself.

Say the affirmations to yourself in the first, second and third persons as follows:  

I,  (name), now like myself.  You, (name), now like yourself.   Name, now likes him/herself. 

 Feel free to invent new ones.

 Continue working with them daily until they become totally integrated into your consciousness.

To dissolve negative mental patterns and free maximum aliveness in your consciousness, write each affirmation in order 10 or 20 times.  

Note the ones that are most meaningful or produce the greatest charge.  

Continue working with these until they go flat.  

When they go flat, you are at total cause and master of the results implied by the affirmations.

Do You know Where You Are Going?

You will not go anywhere, if you do not have a destination.

You will not know how to begin, if you do not know where you are.

You will not be able to get directions, if you are lost and do not know it.

You will not believe that you can get where you are going, if you do not trust the directions you receive.

Each one of us is on a life journey following a path that may be crooked and variable, with hills and valleys.

We all have a path to follow which may not look like anyone else’s path.

We may have tried and failed to do what we were taught or shown.

We may no longer believe there is a way that will work for us.

Your God Self, Higher Self, True Self, wants you to be happy and free.

When you are free from guilt and fear, you will be happy.

When you have forgiven your judgments of your past errors, you will have no guilt.

When you can see All Things Work Together for Good, you will trust again.

When we believe we deserve the pain and suffering, fear and hurt, we are resigned to nothing will change.

When we don’t know how to make it better, we may feel like a victim of circumstances.

When we are confused and don’t understand what to do or where to go, we make just be stuck.

When we believe we are undeserving, we may sabotage our journey and expect hardship.

Time to forgive ignorance, unworthiness, confusion, and uncertainty.

Time to let go of the past and choose to explore the future.

Time to look for the light and delight.

Time to believe you can be free and happy again.

Literally we must take one step at a time to what brings joy to our whole being.

We must choose for the people and possibilities that bring a smile to our face.

We must be willing to be happy, maybe for the first time and let love lead the way.

When we live as love as our guide, we cannot fail to find our true path.

When I speak of Love, I am not talking about romantic Love or emotional Love.

I am speaking of the Love that is peaceful and kind, honest and true, grateful and generous.

I am sharing the Love that forgives all things, is patient and trusting, happy and freeing.

Human love is often the opposite:  judging and critical, restrictive and careful, stingy and denying.

Consider loving yourself in a way that brings you happiness and freedom.

Consider loving your life is a way that is grateful and gracious.

Consider loving others in ways that are kind and compassionate.

Consider loving All that is trusting all things are working together for Good.

You will find your true path on your way home, when you follow the happy way.

Trust in the Love that guides you.

Follow the deLight within you.

Leave darkness and fear behind.

Loving you, 

Betty Lue

“Our Greatest Fear” 

Our greatest fear

is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light,

not our darkness,

that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves,

“Who am I to be brilliant,

gorgeous, talented and fabulous?”

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking

so that others won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.

It is not just in some of us,

it is in everyone,

and as we let our own light shine

we unconsciously give other people permission

to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear

our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson, 1992

Make Every Encounter Positive!

Make everyday special.

Make every relationship meaningful.

Make every moment count.

Make life alive with abundant blessings.

You can create a Good Life.

The primary focus in life must be to seek and find the Goodness.

The primary attention must be giving to appreciating the Good.

The primary ways of responding must be to fully enjoy and express our Joy.

Believe it or not, we are meant to be happy.

Believe it or not, the more awake we are, the more Good we see.

Believe it or not, our gratitude produces happiness.

Believe it or not, our happiness creates more Goodness to appreciate.

When you get up in the morning, you can look forward to having a Good Day.

When you prepare a meal, you can feel grateful for having good food to eat.

When you drive your car, you can give thanks you have transportation.

When you go to work, you can appreciate having a job.

You can create a miserable Life.

Your negative focus can be to seek and find everything that is Bad.

Your critical attention can be on looking for what needs to be fixed or avoided.

Your usual way of reacting can be to be upset, hurt, angry and express your judgments.

When you get up in the morning, you can dread the day ahead with all its apparent problems.

When you prepare a meal, you can be angry that you have to do it for others again and again.

When you drive your car, you can wish you had a better car or a clean car or didn’t have to drive so far.

When you go to work, you can hate the boss or complain about coworkers or wish you had a better job.

It is easy to change your mind, when you are willing.

If you know better, you can do better.

Stop doing what creates more of the same.

Start doing what you know will increase the Good in your life.

Do you know how to change your mind?

Choose the thoughts you want to have.

Recognize that your thoughts create the feelings you have.

Choose the words you speak and the face you wear.

Choose the people with whom you speak.

Choose the media you watch and the stuff you read and listen to.

Choose the affirmations you say to yourself and others.

Choose the food you eat and the home you live in.

Choose to make you best and prepare healthy meals.

Choose to pay your bills on time with gratitude.

Choose to forgive all past mistakes over and over.

Choose to give up bad habits of thinking, speaking and behaving.

Choose to love and acknowledge your Good Life daily.

You can have a good life beginning today.

Practice using your own mind to make your life Good.

Loving us all in being Happy.

Betty Lue 

Learn to translate everything into the learning, laughting, letting go and loving!

Healing Relationships

You are responsible for your own happiness and inner peace.

Where we are upset (angry, hurt, afraid, judgmental), our past wounds (unhealed stuff) has been triggered.   

This shows us where we have work to do.

The usual relationship habit is to try to “fix” the other person, to get them to change or stop saying or doing what has upset us. 

This makes the other feel “wrong” and guilty and hurt and angry and inadequate. 

This only exaggerates the problem.  

It is ineffective over the long term.

The real work is to heal our own woundedness, to clear our own buttons and heal our history and forgive allowing anything or anyone to hurt us.  

When we have done our work, we can be truly effective, helpful and teach by example.

This is a big job.  

It cannot be done overnight, but takes constant practice.

We must first take good care of ourselves mentally, physically, and spiritually.  

Being conscious and taking impeccable care of ourselves is essential to quality relationships.

Begin now with learning to love, respect, trust and appreciate yourself.

The more you love, trust, respect and appreciate yourself, 

the more others will love, trust, respect and appreciate you.

The more you love, respect, trust and appreciate yourself, 

the more others will do the same for themselves and  for others.

You are the living example, the teacher, with everything you think, say and do.

Betty Lue is always loving you and all, no matter what.

Take Time for You!

We are in South Lake Tahoe with family for three days this week.

Then home to Hidden Valley Lake for two days and Sunday 4/7 in Brentwood for our Unity service.

Then off to Hawaii for 12 days. 4/7-4/19.  

While on sabbatical I will be editing the next book for publisher. 

We take time for nature, swimming, walking, T’ai Chi Chih and simple healthy diet , lots of writing, reading and  time for inner connection. 

We always have fun, appreciating and enjoying ourselves and each other.  

We have created a good life of doing good, being good and havving plenty of Goodness.  

Try it.  You will like it!

Betty Lue

Take Time for You!

Whether you are super Mom or single parent or trying to work and take care of your whole family, there seems to be “no time”. I know you can make time and take time. 

Take time and Make Time!

Time in the bathroom for affirmations and prayer.

Time as you are waking up to remember your purpose for the day.

Time as you are driving your car (no texting or cell phone!) to listen within, breathe deep and appreciate.

Time as you are sitting down for a meal at the table, your desk or in the kitchen to say a blessing.

Time as you are looking at the sky, the sun, the spring flowers to fill your self with love for the beauty.

Time as you are answering the phone to say, “Whoever you are, I bless you.”

Time as you are standing in line at the grocery store, to smile with love at a child, the checker or those in line.

Time as you are cooking dinner to be grateful for your family and the food and the one preparing the food.

Take time to nurture you and those around you with a cup of tea or listen to favorite music.

Take time to snuggle with your partner or your child or your pet.

Take time to take a walk at breaks or lunch time or in between clients.

Take time to write a thank you note or send a special appreciative email.

Take time to read or watch something inspiring.

Take time to be grateful even as you fall asleep at night.

Take time to say hello and goodbye with loving attention.

Remember, every time you give your best to another, you are blessing yourself.

Stop wasting time!

Stop spending time on meaningless activities.

Stop wasting time on the phone gossiping or criticizing.

Stop wasting time nagging or complaining to your family and friends.

Stop wasting time wishing for what you want and just do what you want to do.

Stop wasting time filling your time with texting, tweeting and internet surfing.

Stop wasting your time worrying and use your time to affirm and bless and appreciate.

Stop wasting your time watching meaningless TV or staying in bed doing nothing.

Stop wasting your time preparing for the worst and use your time to create the Best.

Stop wasting your time talking with negative people about negative and fearful stuff.

Stop wasting your time arguing and fighting and making everyone miserable.

Stop wasting time wanting to do something to better your life.  Get up and just do it.

Stop wasting your time regretting the past and use your time envisioning your future.

Stop wasting your time feeling sorry for yourself and start creating the live you really want.

Remember, every time you complain, you drain your emotional bank account with yourself and others.

I am efficient with my  use of time. I make every moment count, because it does. It is keeping my priorities straight that is the key.  Loving you and loving me as we seek and find better ways to be.

Betty Lue

Do You Give Everyone Your Best?

Reality check for you is to see if you are giving everyone your best self.

Are you treating your family the same as your clients or customers or coworkers?

Do you give your employees the same respect as you do your bosses?

Do you treat the janitor and housecleaner and grocery clerk the same as  your minister, boss or friend?

We may have been trained that those in high places deserve our respect and admiration.

We may have been raised to seek power from the rich, famous and powerful.

We may have watched our parents treat others better than their own children.

We may be too tired or distracted to give our kids and partners our full attention.

When I saw that I was patterning my family behavior like my Dad, I made a new choice.

When I realized that I was tired at the end of a 14 hr day and not there for my kids, I made a choice.

When I knew how to be fully present with compassion and wisdom for every client, I made a choice.

It was time to give everyone my best no matter what time or relationship I had.

The only way I know to be my best and give my best is to forgive, erase and undo the rest.

I vowed to be energized and present with the best I knew for everyone.

I forgave my past and those I learned from and chose again to prepare myself for only giving my best.

I learned how to renew myself with a breath or two, a walk, a prayer, a thought, a choice.

So in between clients I take a moment of quiet, a walk to the bathroom, a breath of fresh air.

And now I am choosing to take a 1-5 minute walk every hour, between clients.

On the drive home, allow Spirit to fill my body and Being with light, Love, laughter as I let go.

Remembering to let go of the last moment and be filled with this moment, in Love and at Peace.

I know we all have our ways to refresh and renew everyday.

We can take much better care of ourselves with fresh whole foods, breathing deep into our bellies.

We can remember to take breaks of meditation, short naps, simple affirmations and prayers.

We can refuse to receive and give less than our best in all circumstances and situation.

To take the best care of me, I must clear away and forgive all that is not best.

I must release what is not mine to have or to give.

I must learn to undo what is untrue, unloving and not good for me and you.

For everything I receive, I pass on to others.

When we choose, let us choose for the best, the good the right and true.

Let us stop taking on others pain or negativity, or fear or fake stories.

Let us not repeat and repair what is broken, weak and unkind.

Let us live and love and share and care always and only what is inspiring, helpful, compassionate and wise.

Ingest the best and forgive and forget the rest.

Life is meant to pass on to others only what is good for all.

Loving you and me and us and we, 

Betty Lue

Tips for Whole Life Health 

1.         Nutrition—Ingest the best and forget the rest. Feed your body and  mind only what is best for you.

2.         Movement—Enjoy moving with the natural flow of life.

3.         Breath—Breathe in life energy and expand your awareness. Exhale fully to release what is no longer needed.

4.         Touch—Reach out with love and respect.

5.         Thought—Choose thoughts which heal and free you.

6.         Forgiveness—Erase beliefs which limit you.

7.         Attitude—Express gratitude. Enjoy life.

8.         Balance—Moderation in all things brings harmony.

9.         Perception—What you perceive in others, you strengthen in yourself.

10.        Purity—Eliminate toxic thoughts, activities and relationships.

11.        Rest—Relax your mind and body to be revitalized.

12.        Contribution—Give everyone what you want to have.

Twelve Daily Steps To Optimistic Living

1. Focus on my successes rather than on my failures.

2. Notice that which I have accomplished rather than that which I’ve left undone.

3. See and acknowledge my beauty rather than focusing on my imperfections.

4. Notice and acknowledge all the times I’ve followed the optimum conditions,rather than judging myself for the times I have not.

5. Acknowledge all my wins each and every day.

6. Create and maintain an environment that nurtures me.

7.  See problems as opportunities to learn from rather than as obstacles to avoid.

8.  Tell the whole truth on a moment to moment basis in order to maintain impeccable and loving relationships.

9. Be conscious every moment to put positive thoughts into my mind rather than negative, knowing all thoughts are creative.

10.  Appreciate my feelings as a means of understanding myself, thus directing and creating my reality.

11. Continue to forgive myself and others as a means of creating a state of Grace.

12. Fill my life with joy and ecstasy by practicing daily the art and skill of verbally expressing my gratitude for all that I have.

Right and Wrong, Good and Bad

Do you know right from wrong?

Do you know what is good and bad?

Do you know how to choose?

Do you listen to your own conscience?

Do you know when you know?

Do you know how to listen within?

Do you hear that still small voice inside?

Do you let your conscience guide?

We are a fool when we step away from what we “know”.

We mis lead ourselves when we go against that inner voice.

We hurt ourselves and our self trust when we do not obey.

We all have in inner guide that “knows” the “right and good” way to live.

Shame on us for not listening enough.

Shame on us for not trusting what we hear.

Shame on us for not following what we know.

Shame on us for not honoring the Good in us.

Yes, it is as simply as this. 

Imagine that the person you love and admire the most is watching you.

When you are proud to show all that you think and do and say, you are choosing wisely the good way.

When you are ashamed and afraid to let them see your choices, you are going against your integrity.

When you have chosen what is wrong and bad for you, you will not be strong or trusting or true.

Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made.

Show you have learned by choosing a better way.

Forgive yourself for the people you have hurt or misled.

Choose again to make amends and do good today.

It takes very little to let Goodness and God lead the way.

It takes only to stop yourself for letting what is wrong and bad have its way.

It takes just a moment to clear up the rest of your life.

It takes forgiving all of the past and choosing again for today.

You have a guide, faithful and true, deep inside of you.

Because you have not listened, to sound has grown dim.

But still it is there waiting for you to begin a new life.

Listen today for what to do, where to go and what to say.

You can do this small thing for you.

It will make a mighty difference and your dreams will come true.

Listen for how to eat, to share and to give.

Listen for what is right and good in everything you do.

You will find life can be FUN, SAFE AND EASY….. WHEN YOU LISTEN Within AND FOLLOW!

Loving you,  

Betty Lue

April Fool's Day

Read only, if you want to learn how to stop being a fool and start being a mature adult.

I have attached a Reminders from 2004, where I invite us all to stop being Fools.

Stop fooling around.

Stop acting foolishly.

Stop getting drunk or loaded. 

Stop having affairs or live with no secrets. 

Stop lying, cheating and stealing. 

Stop living without caring about others.

Stop hurting people with words or deeds. 

Stop holding resentful and seeking revenge.

Stop gossiping or attacking with your thoughts, words or interaction.

Stop being lazy and waiting for someone else to change or do it for you.

Stop telling others what they should do until you have done it all yourself.

Start being sober and sane! 

Start letting go of fears and tears and take care of business today.

Start being faithful to your word or change your agreements respectuflly.

Start taking care of your families with respect and responsibility.

Start behaving as a mature, wise and thoughtful adult.

Start living in integrity with your principles, priorities and purpose.

Start  forgiving yourself for the mistakes you have made.

Start doing the work it requires to be a person who is admired and loved.

You can do it.  
I know you can!
I believe in you to lead the way…..Everyday in every way!
I am loving you,  
Betty Lue

April 1, 2004 Loving Reminders

Childlike, Immature, Foolish or Ignorant

What is the difference between someone who is immature and ignorant?

Do you know better?  

Are you lacking in education, information and experience?

Do you change how you behave when you have more information?

Do you not care about what others do or think or feel?

Do you know what is appropriate, kind, polite and helpful?

Do you do things your way without consideration for others?

What is the difference between being childlike and foolish?

Are you playful, innocent and natural?

Do you disregard or ignore your own inclination to be careful?

Do you take unnecessary risks just to get a rush of adrenalin?

Are you rude and disrespectful to others?

Do you pay attention to what offends your elders and correct  your behavior?

We live in an interesting time in an immature culture. SeeMind Map Below!

I see the US as a culture of pleasers who go along, conform and act obedient. 

This is developmentally the latency period (elementary school age). 

There is also a large population of those who are ego driven by having the best, wanting to be admired and adored, the center of attention and are selfish (me first) in  how they relate to others. 

This is developmentally the toddler age (2-5 year olds).

There are those who operate from an adolescent mentality which is part toddler and part fact finder-research, unemotional and detached from caring about others.  

These ways of thinking and behaving are often childish and immature, foolish and ignorant.

It is time for us to grow up as a culture.

It is time for leadership to be principle-centered. 

It is time for us to seek the good for the whole.

It is time for you and I to step forward and live our spiritual principles as teachers, healers, parents, volunteers, and leaders in our communities and families.

Be innocent and playful as a child, free, spontaneous, happy , generous and creative.

Be conscious, respectful, kind, responsible, helpful, attentive and supportive of others.

Be an adult with a natural inner child who you support with your own love, respect and provision.

We all have the opportunity to re-parent ourselves, to love, encourage, nurture and enjoy our inner child.

Healing ourselves, heals our families.  Healing our families heals our communities.  Healing our communities heals our world.  Let it begin with me and you.  

Loving you,  

Betty Lue 

The Mind Map—A Model of Behavior and Personality 

The Guerrilla Group, Inc.

The Amoral Phase

·      Birth to age 2

·      Needs are primarily physical (eating, sleeping, crying)

·      Shuts down under stress

·      Best approach = exit and return at another time.

The EGO Phase

·      The “terrible twos”

·      Needs are primarily mental (possessiveness, attention-seeking, control)

·      Cognitive priority = status

·      Competitive—everything is a contest

·      Dishonesty takes the form of self-aggrandizement

·      Distrust salespeople and are afraid of being taken advantage of

·      Sees transactions as a contest they must win

·      Unasked question = “Are you good enough” (to work with me, to be with me, etc.)

Best Approach

·      Ask about achievements and awards.

·      Give them the competitive edge.

·      Demonstrate your leadership.

·      Be assertive without being challenging.

The PLEASER Phase

·      Ages four or five to age ten.

·      Needs are primarily psychological.

·      Gets needs met by complying with others.

·      Cognitive priority = acceptance.

·      Want love, approval and understanding.

·      Fiercely loyal to their friends.

·      Hesitant to make decisions for fear of being criticized.

·      Will not reject you openly.

·      Dishonesty takes the form of lies of omission.

·      Unspoken question = “Do you really care about me or are you just being nice to get my business?”

Best Approach

·      Be friendly. Ask about people.

·      Be somewhat assertive.

·      Focus on the relationship.

·      Make specific recommendations.

The AUTHORITY Phase

·      The teen years.

·      Need rules and structure.

·      Gets needs met by following procedures.

·      Cognitive priority = control.

·      More comfortable with numbers than with people.

·      Shy, aloof, impersonal, uncommunicative.

·      Will argue for the fun of it.

·      Automatic dislike and distrust.

·      Judgmental, opinionated.

·      May suffer from paralysis by analysis.

·      Unspoken question = “What are the facts.”

Best Approach

·      Avoid friendly gestures.

·      Appeal to systems, logic and quoted sources.

·      Focus on the facts, statistics, paybacks.

The PRINCIPLE Phase

·      Age thirty-something.

·      Shift from rational to intuitive.

·      Gets needs met by following correct principles.

Best Approach

·      Open communication.

·      Show you’re fair-care-share.

·      Focus on collaboration and problem-solving.

The RESPONSIBLE Phase

·      Usually late in life.

·      Applies principles responsibly.

Best Approach

·      Social, ethical and environmental responsibility.

·      Stress benefits to the community at large.

The UNIVERSAL Phase

·      You at your highest potential.

·      Consistently live by correct principles.

The Mind Map--Summary

The Guerrilla Group, Inc.

The Inner Brain: The Primitive Reactionary Mind

 The Amoral Phase of infants and certain adults who act without any morality; those who simply shut down and go away when things get rough.  Best Sales Approach = reschedule and exit.

The Left Brain: The Logical Linear Mind

 The Ego Phase of children and many adults who see themselves as the center of the universe; self-centered adults who are in endless cycles of fighting and making up. Best Sales Approach = show that you’re tops.

 The Pleaser Phase of youngsters and some adults who survive by pleasing others, by being nice and doing good. This maturity allows Pleasers to manipulate others to get their needs met. Best Sales Approach = friendly, assertive.

 The Authority Phase of teens and many adults who come to respect rules and agreements to govern their lives. On the down side, these people become excessively duty bound in their urge to do things right. Best Sales Approach = quote facts & logic.

The Right Brain: The Creative Intuitive Mind

 The Principle Phase is found in mature people who know that life works to the extent that they follow principles such as being fair with everyone, really caring for others and doing more than a fair share of the task. Best Sales Approach = show you’re fair-care-share.

 The Responsible Phase of mature people who know that they are the cause and the source of everything that comes into their lives. They take full responsibility for the situations in which they find themselves. Best Sales Approach = stress group benefits.

 The Universal Phase of maturity is expressed by those who constantly reach their highest potential by living a principled life, balancing the right and left minds. This is the phase of one who always finds peace and success, freedom, empowerment and ecstasy. Best Sales Approach = just relax and tell your story.