Emotional reactions are telling us there is a need.
Listen and learn how to be helpful please.
EMOTIONS ARE A “TELL".
TAKE TIME TO UNDERSTAND.
Free monthly zoom workshop!
Loving Relationships.
This Sunday, May 24 at 2PM.
Let me know and I will send a link.
Affirmations:
I forgive myself for reacting in an unkind way.
I choose to respond to all needs with loving kindness.
I treat others as I want to be treated by others.
I always receive what I give.
Respond with Love
How do you respond?
If you expect to change anything, respond with love.
If you want to make a difference, respond with forgiveness.
If you are trying to teach a better way, respond with what you would want.
Love teaches Love.
Anger increases anger.
Gratitude brings your appreciation.
Helpfulness shows how to be helpful.
It is true; show others what you want to be.
If anything needs to be changed, show what you want.
It only increases the same behavior to react by copying negative behavior.
Everything unlike love, kindness and respect, is calling for love, kindness and respect.
On the highway, in the classroom, at home or work, unloving behavior is crying out for love.
Unconscious children and upset adults need positive attention.
They need us to listen deeply and understand the need.
Crying babies and angry adults are asking for help.
When you experience an unkind person of any age….first listen and ask:
Are they hungry?
Are they angry?
Are they lonely?
Are they hurting?
Are they fearful?
Are they tired?
What is the underlying need?
When anyone is unhappy, there is an unmet need.
When you are unkind or unloving, ask yourself, what is your need?
When our needs are unmet, we usually react with more negativity.
The same is true for all of us.
Learn to listen with compassion, kindness, patience and consideration.
Sometimes you can ask directly and often the other is unavailable to answer clearly.
We must know ourselves and others well enough to respond to human nature.
We can make a difference, when we respond with love and peace rather then react with fear and anger.
Take the time to learn and respond with your best.
Make the effort to listen and offer what is needed.
Give your best and your kindness will be received.
Notice that it gives you peace to offer peace to another.
Read Languages of Love and Fear and learn how everyone needs us to care.
Betty Lue
5 Languages of Fear or 5 Calls for Love
An intuitive look at some possible explanations for unacceptable behavior. According to A Course in Miracles, everything is either a gift of love or a call for love. The 5 Languages of Love (Dr. Gary Chapman) teach us more about how to effectively give and receive the gifts of love, but what about responding to the calls for love? The answer is always to “give love”, but that is only possible after we have stopped reacting to the call as a personal attack. The first step is awareness.
Awareness with love is healing.
When people are in fear or pain (and needing love), they are not always sensitive, aware, articulate, considerate or even caring. They will either see you as the cause of their current dilemma or just a handy (loving) person they can strike out at so they won’t be alone in their misery. They will either deprive you of what they know you value most or what they, themselves, value most.
Here are 5 possible disguises of the call for love.
1. The Put-Down—This includes complaining, anger, blame, guilt, insults, destructive words. If Words of Affirmation are a primary love language for you, hearing someone else’s pain directed at you can be especially hurtful.
2. The Cold Shoulder—This includes being pre-occupied, too busy, multi-tasking, distracted, walking away, ignoring, threatening to leave or end the relationship, shutting you out. If Quality Time is a primary love language for you, being left alone or abandoned can be devastating.
3. The Take-Away—This includes taking or breaking things, stealing, constantly saying “We can’t afford it”, not giving or sharing, being selfish. If Receiving Gifts is a primary love language for you, being deprived will be hurtful way out of proportion to the value of the actual gift itself.
4. The Complication—This includes forgetting to do things, being too busy to help out, refusing to help out, being destructive, making messes, causing problems, adding complications and making more work. If Acts of Service are a primary love language for you, the burden of having to do more or do it all yourself leaves you feeling hurt and resentful.
5. The Hurt—This includes hitting, hurting, outside affairs and cheating, withholding/denying touch and affection, and all acts of physical violence. If Physical Touch is a primary love language for you, either destructive touching or touch deprivation can cause you to emotionally wither and want to withdraw from the world.
Keys to responding with love:
1. Don’t take it personally. It’s not about you. It’s about them. If you take it personally, they may think it actually is about you and fail to (eventually) take responsibility for their condition.
2. Take care of yourself. You may need to actually remove yourself from the situation in order to stop getting hurt and to get clear. If you let them hurt you, you create either conscious or unconscious guilt on their part, which will cause them to either attack more vigorously or withdraw completely.
3. Listen within for guidance. Once you can bring yourself to peace and neutrality, listen to your heart about how to respond. This is clearly a call for love. What does the other person actually need or want? What will be the most helpful and the most easily received by them. Sometimes love and forgiveness is best expressed in person and sometimes it is more effective from a distance. Do you need to speak, write, think, pray, act?
4. Do what you hear and trust it is good. Get on with your life and keep loving yourself so you can continue to love others.
Robert Waldon, Feb. 2012