Giving Thanks

Take this quiz to find your ideal love language.

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/30-second-quizzes/love/

Giving Thanks

Every one wants to be appreciated.

But everyone values appreciation and love in a different form.

Take time to understand what each of your loved ones really want.

To be appreciated and loved in just the right way makes all the difference!

1.     Some value words of appreciation.

2.     Some value meaningful gifts.

3.     Some like affection and physical touch.

4.     Some like acts of service.

5.     Some prefer spending quality time.

Affirming Words

Some like words of appreciation, perhaps written in a note or card.

Some like words expressed aloud with an audience.

Some prefer affirming words shared directly in private.

Some prefer receiving appreciation in a written form so they can read and feel them alone.

Meaningful Gifts

Some people feel most appreciated with gifts of love.

Some like something simple, like a card and a flower.

Some prefer something inspiring that shows appreciation.

Some measure the appreciation by the quality and expense of the gift.

Loving Affection

Some people feel most appreciated with a hug or kisses.

Some people receive love best with loving touch, a gentle caress or physical intimacy.

Some like everyday affection of holding hands or the good morning kiss.

Some prefer a pat on the back, a genuine hand shake, or a strong embrace.

Acts of Service

Some people value most respectful acts of kindness.

Some feel most appreciated when they receive help in preparing a meal or cleaning the house.

Some enjoy a day of rest, being served breakfast in bed and pampered.

Some feel served when others are in service to others.

Quality Time

Some feel most appreciated when you simply take time to spend time together.

Some prefer meaningful conversation and sharing thoughts.(with no interruptions)

Some really appreciate time to walk, to sit, to share some activity together.

Some feel most loved when you ask for a date, alone time, with no distractions or others present.

What do you prefer?

What do your loved ones really receive as your way of ‘Thanking them”?

How do you show you appreciate others?

Can you recognize when your appreciation is fully received?

I am loving you with my word of appreciation and love.

I am loving you by taking time to share with you via email.

I am loving you by giving you the best gifts I have.

I am loving you by serving you with inspiration for better living.

I am loving you by spiritually sending you my hugs and touching your heart with these reminders.

Betty Lue

Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness and Inner Peace

Every morning and every night, say this prayer:

I forgive everything and everyone, every experience and every memory of the past and present that needs forgiveness.

I forgive positively everyone.

God is Love.

I am forgiven and governed by God’s Love alone.

God’s Love is now harmonizing my life and its problems.

Realizing this, I abide in peace.

I am now forgiven by everything and everyone of the past and present that needs to forgive me.

I know that forgiveness unblocks whatever stands between me and my good.

I am grateful for the power of God’s Word.

Amen

Gratitude Works

When we focus on what’s wrong, we see more of what is wrong.

When we express our gratitude, we see more and more of what we value.

When we are giving thanks, there is no room for criticism and complaints.

When we are being forgiving of our judgmental thinking, we can enjoy our grateful attitude.

So what do you take time to appreciate and enjoy?

What do you express with kindness and love?

How do you share all the blessings in your life?

How do you strengthen your Good Life in which your Good is enjoyed?

I am grateful for the weather, the sun, the rain, the wind and the snow.

I am grateful for the trees, the flowers, the vegetables that grow.

I am grateful for the fresh air we breathe and the pure water we drink.

I am grateful for the words I express and the happy thoughts I think.

I am grateful for the service I give, and the way I live.

I am so grateful for sharing with you the inspiration I have.

I am grateful we live on this planet at a time like this.

I am grateful we can choose our blessings and our bliss.

I appreciate the ones who come into my life.

As teachers and leaders and models of truth.

I value the choices I make that lead me home.

And I enjoy the opportunity I have to make my own way.

When we fully appreciate our brother, our Creator and ourselves, we find inner peace.

When we fully express gratitude, we see nothing else than the blessing we have.

When we totally know that our thoughts can make our own heaven or hell.

We take responsibility for forgiving and choosing to see “All is well”.

I love loving you.

I am inspired by inspiring you.

I am reminded in these loving reminders.

For all that I give, I have and am blessed.

Every blessing I give is a blessing for me.

Every act of kindness enriches my life.

Every word of respect, respects us all as One.

Every moment of peace brings peace to our world.

And so it is that all I give is given to me.

It is love that makes us whole and sets us free.

Loving you as I love myself,

Betty Lue

If All of Us Live With ..........

If Children Live With……….

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with: criticism, hostility, fear, pity, ridicule or jealousy,

They will learn to: condemn, fight, be apprehensive, feel sorry for themselves, 

feel shy and feel envy.

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If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and others.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Selfish or In Service or Selfless?

Are you here to be truly helpful?

Are you here to indulge yourself?

Are you here to sacrifice yourself?

Is there a time for everything?

Does it not seem appropriate to serve when you can with joy and gratitude?

Does it also seem important to care for yourself in order to be of service to others?

Are there special times when it seems best to sacrifice for the benefit of something greater?

Discerning the value at different stages and moments in our lives is essential to know.

When we feel grateful and at peace, we are following our inner guidance.

When we feel guilty and defensive, we may be following our ego’s fearful beliefs.

When we are healthy and happy, it is easy to be helpful to others.

When we are tired, sick or unhappy, it feels like a sacrifice to serve another’s needs.

What does it take to be helpful to others?

·     Take impeccable care of yourself first.

·     Receive gratitude and joy from everything you give.

·     Take time to listen within to give what is of value.

We may do what is expected rather than what is truly valuable to everyone.

We may offer help when it is not wanted.

We may give with an expectation of receiving in return.

We may not be capable of giving with joy, because we have not loved ourselves well.

We may see ourselves as giving away what we really want to have.

We may judge feelings of resentment for giving when we really don’t want to.

We may be confused by those who refuse to receive because they don’t want to be obligated.

We may give to those who feel “needy” or “less fortunate” and make ourselves feel “better than”.

We make believe that some lose when some gain, and feel guilt about our choices.

We give out of duty and obligation rather than love and appreciation.

We may be giving what we really want to be receiving.

We may not take time to listen within to a natural loving way to contribute to others.

We may not understand that giving is receiving and all we give is given to ourselves

We may exhaust ourselves by giving more than we have energy for.

Take time during these holidays to nurture and nourish yourself with all Good.

Appreciate your natural giving Spirit and notice how it inspires and increases your energy.

Create times of stillness and quiet listening and know it is our prayerful thoughts that bless.

It is our kind and appreciative words that make a real difference.

It is our acts of service without sacrifice that let others know how much we care…

Loving us all as we give and receive the true and lasting gifts of Love and appreciation.

I love you and thank you for inspiring me to share these loving reminders,

Betty Lue

You Are A Flower in the Garden of Life

If you would grow to be your best self

Be patient, not demanding

Accepting, not condemning

Nurturing, not withholding

Self-marveling, not belittling

Gently guiding, not pushing & punishing

For you are more sensitive than you know

Mankind is tough as war

Yet delicate as flowers

We can endure agonies

But we open fully only to warmth & light

And our need to grow is fragile as a fragrance

Dispersed by storms of will

To return only when those storms are still

So accept, respect,

Attend your sensitivity

A flower

Cannot be opened

With a hammer

Grumpiness or Gratitude?

If you are not living with gratitude, you must not be loving your whole self well.

If you are not feeling appreciation, you may have neglected to create what you want.

If you are not enjoying where you live and how you live, you may have lost your way.

If you are not full of curiosity, wonder and delight, you may have wandered away from home.

When grumpiness comes, it is reminding us of what we are missing.  

When dark clouds seem to follow us, we must have taken the wrong road.

When we seem to be discouraged and disappointed, we must have appointed the wrong people to lead.

When we feel victimized, depressed and resentful, we must have forgotten how to love ourselves well.

What will it take to get back the good happy feeling?

What do we need to do to remember how to enjoy?

What can we change to live our life impeccably and purposefully?

What can we do to live abundantly and with full appreciation?

We victimize ourselves.

We stop taking care of the One we are.

We live with deception and false beliefs.

We fool ourselves into thinking we can be untrue to our own values and still be happy and healthy.

Guilt will be our punishment.

Guilt is what stirs our negativity.

Guilt is projected onto blaming others.

Guilt comes when we lost our way and stop listening and loving the Good in ourselves.

Yes, we know what is right when we listen inside.

We know what I truly best for us.

We know we can be Good and see Good and choose Good and live Good.

When we forget the Good, we feel guilt.

I am talking about you and me, all of us, who are unhappy and depressed, discouraged and punished.

When we are not feeling happy and delighted, encouraged and blessed, we have left the Good way.

The Good Way is the Godly way, the giving way, the abundant way, the honest way, the inspired way.

And deep within everyone, we know what is the good way, the best way, the healthy way to live and love.

So when we are grumpy, it is time to stop, to listen within and to follow another leader.

Follow the voice of peace, to end the fighting and disagreements and blaming and guilt.

Listen to the voice of forgiveness and love, of trust and freedom and support to be all we can be.

Speak words of encouragement and support, appreciation and enjoyment, respect and thanks.

What you give to another, you strengthen in yourself.

What you live shows others, what they can do for themselves.

What you think about others reinforces your thoughts about yourself.

So think Good thoughts, speak loving words and do kind deeds, serving the Good way for everyone.

Let us be grateful that we can forgive our wrong turns and immediately choose again the loving way.

Loving  you,  

Betty Lue

This really works!  Try it and watch how good you can feel.

30 Days to Enlightenment  and Waking Up

30 Days to Healing and Seeing things Differently!

This exercise has a profound impact on how we see and live our lives.

This daily practice will heal and transform your life

With continued practice, there will be a spiritual awakening.

Forgiveness heals our perception and gives us Response-Ability.

Choice empowers us to Create our Experience Consciously.

Gratitude expands what we Choose and increases our Joy.

Daily Practice:

Begin each morning with a pad of lined paper and a pen.

Write and say 30 forgivenesses as they come to mind. 

Simply write “I forgive”…and let the rest just come from within. 

(No need to understand or feel anything.)

I forgive you for being mean.

I forgive myself for letting anyone hurt me.

I forgive my body’s limitation.

I forgive myself for being late.

I forgive everything.

Make the sound “AAAH” for 1-2 minutes.

Imagine that you are opening your mind.

Now write and say 30 Choices. 

I choose to be happy. 

I choose to be free.  

I choose to do what I love. 

I choose to forgive….

In the Evening (before bed)

Write and say 30 Gratitudes

I appreciate the energy I have.

I love being happy.

I am grateful I have you in my life.

I thank God.

Make the  sound “OM”  the Universal sound for Love and God for 1-2 minutes.

PS Even a few of each is better than none.  

Do what you can and trust it is working.

Loving You always, 

Betty Lue

Give Everything, Expect Nothing!

When you have no expectations, you will never be disappointed.

When you give with no conditions, you give only with joy and gratitude.

When you have no thoughts about what you “get back”, you are giving from your abundance.

When you give with a desire to get something in return, you are giving from your lack.

To give all to all, there is a freedom of flow and letting go.

When we give with joy and gratitude, we open the flow to receive all Good to be given.

When we “give to get”, we are giving with conditions and limitations and expectations.

When we give with implicit demand and neediness, we close the flow and receive less.

There need be no comparison of gifts in giving.

When we measure the love we receive, we are limiting its value.

When we judge what is received, we diminish the love of the giver.

When we expect thank you’s or acknowledgement, we are asking for what is considered etiquette.

However, we must ask, what is it that I need from the receiver?

What is it that I expect a thank you note or expression of gratitude?

How have I been taught and how can I continue to give that which is of value to me?

Can I receive the joy I have given without having someone notice and thank me?

Interesting question in this time where often people do not respond to RSVP,

Interesting values question when many forget to give thanks and appreciation.

Interesting dilemma when giving to children who often have no help or encouragement to say thanks.

Interesting spiritual concept when we sometimes learn “When you expect nothing, you get nothing!”

I know that what I give is given to my Self.

Do you?

I experience, when I give with conditions, I create a sense of obligation in the receiver.

What do you experience?

I see a world that feels lacking and limited.

I choose to fill it with my joyful contribution.

As I give freely, I feel abundant.

As I give with limitation and expectation, I feel limited.

When I give with Joy, I am filled with Joy.

When I give with Love, I am filled with Love.

When I give my All, I see the All I AM.

When I give my best, I know there is more to give.

Life is for giving. 

You are the gift.

When you give yourself fully, you realize the Gift you Are.

So let us Give our All today, simply for the Joy of it.

Loving you, 

Betty Lue

The Gift You Are

You are the gift.

In your healing, I am healed.

In your smiling, I find joy.

In your learning, I am filled with wisdom.

In your free expressions, I am empowered.

In your abundance, I too prosper.

In your spontaneity, I am set free.

In your joy, I know heaven.

And so it is that you give your Self to me

And I receive you with love and gratitude.

I am the gift I give to You

And I fully receive the gift I freely give.

As I know You, I know my Self.

As I give to you, I receive all good.

As I support you, I am supported by the Universe.

As I honor and respect you, I experience gratitude in all my being.

As I love you, I am loving all of God's creation.

I know you and believe in you.

I honor, respect and support you in being.

In you and me is all the Universe.

We are gifts to one another.

       - Betty Lue

Never Too Late

It is never too late to say “I’m sorry.”

It is never too late to make amends.

It is never too late to appreciate.

It is never too late to say “I love You.”

Sometimes we live in regret and guilt.

Sometimes we forget how to apologize.

Sometimes we want to save face.

Sometimes we are just too afraid to express what we feel.

Whether they are with us in body or not, we can share our thoughts and feelings.

Whether they are here to talk to or not, we can share what is in our heart.

Whether or not they still live close by or have moved on, we can say what we need to say.

The heart always hears what we share from our heart to theirs.

Communication is coming together in Love and Peace. 

Communication is communing with another in a place most High.

Communication is coming together as One.

Communication is giving to another what we want to receive.

It is never too late to change our mind.

It is never too late to forgive and give love.

It is never too late to honor the Goodness in others.

It is never too late to trust God.

Sometimes we think we have sinned.

Sometimes we believe we cannot be forgiven.

Sometimes we doubt our worth and our own love.

Sometimes we forget the Gift we are here to give.

The past is gone.

It is not here.

What we have done is a lesson to be learned.

All that is real is the love we have shared.

What is valuable is how we love and give right now.

Let us remember to take this precious moment to give our best.

Let us remind ourselves that we are here to Love.

Let us communicate the Best we know in sharing the Best we have.

Now is the time of Power and Peace.

Now is the time for forgiveness and giving.

Now is the time for loving no matter what.

Now is the time for making a difference.

Give to All the gift of your Love.

Forgive All for their forgetting.

As you forgive, so you are forgiven.

All you give to another is your gift to yourself.

Your loving reminder is always loving you,

Betty Lue

LOVE

There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer;

No disease that enough love will not heal;

No door that enough love will not open;

No gulf that enough love will not bridge;

No wall that enough love will not throw down;

No sin that enough love will not redeem.

 It makes no difference 

  how deeply seated may be the trouble,

How hopeless the outlook,

How muddled the tangle,

How great the mistake. 

A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all.

 If only you could love enough, you would be the happiest 

and most powerful being in the world.

Emmet Fox

Are You Receiving?

Are you open to receive all Good and only Good?

Are you listening to the Voice of Love within?

 Are you living with gratitude?

Are you giving and receiving abundantly?

The only limits to what we receive are because block the awareness of what is already here.

We have falsely learned there is a limited supply and when we give we lose or limit others.

We may believe that the Universe only gives to those who are special  or perhaps needy.

When we stay closed or careful in our receptivity, we limit our awareness of our abundant provision.

Yes, there is plenty of Good for everyone.

There is plenty of Love with no one loved less or more by the Source, the Creator.

There is plenty of what we need when we forgive our limiting beliefs in lack and limitation.

There is plenty of Joy and Peace and Guidance when we give up our criticism, conflict and control.

You can make a difference in your life today.

There is plenty of time.

I am in the right place at the right time, doing the right thing for the right reasons.

There is plenty of guidance and support.

Everything always works more exquisitely than I can plan.

There is plenty of Good.

All things work together for Good.

There is plenty of Abundance.

I always have All I need to serve All. 

There is plenty for Everyone.

To have All, Give All to All. 

What Can You Do Right Now?

Take time to affirm.

I now receive All Good and only Good.

I forgive myself for limiting myself.

Set aside time to Listen.

·     Spend five minutes twice daily being quiet and listening.

·     Write down everything you hear in your mind.

Clear inter-fear-ence and self sabotage.

I forgive feelings of unworthiness and self limitation.

Let go and open the flow.

I trust I am perfectly guided and abundantly provided.

Receive with an open heart and full appreciation.

I am grateful for All the Good I have, All I receive and All I give.

Seeing  you full of Love, Light and all things Good, and Whole and Beautiful,

Betty Lue

You are  my spiritual partners as we conspire to co-create a better world.

My heart smiles and my spirit rejoices.  

Your gifts of love and appreciation inspire me and feed my soul.  

Celebrate the gifts we share and grow in abundance and beauty.  

Offering all I am given in Love,  supports, strengthens and affirms this Love. 

I love you, as you live the life you consciously desire. 

I am supported and sustained by your kindness and generosity.  

May you  honor your Holy Self as you walk in Goodness, Beauty and Love.

Loving You,  

Betty Lue

Giving vs. Getting

Giving gives all to All.

Having rests on giving.

Giving is our natural state.

Giving gives life, health, prosperity, joy, freedom, creativity and love.

Giving is freedom.

Getting is limited.

Giving is independence.

Getting is dependent on others.

Giving is from an unlimited re Source.

Getting is limited by the thought system of the giver.

Giving comes from fullness and abundance.

Getting comes from emptiness and lack.

Giving is receiving what is given. 

Getting relies on what the giver has to give.

The thoughts of separation cause people to feel limited, lacking and less than others.

The belief in limited resources, abilities, finances and Love make people believe they are needy.

When we believe in our neediness, we seek to get from those who seem to be full, abundant, unlimited.

We see ourselves as separate and needy, we strengthen our beliefs in lack and limitation and inequality.

What we believe we reinforce with our own perceptions and projections and defeat and deplete ourselves.

To open the flow, we need to prime the pump by giving to ourselves.

We need to connect with the Source of Love and Joy and Gratitude within.

We need to open our hearts to fully and freely love ourselves, and be grateful for the Good that already is.

Giving is opening the flow to abundance for all—abundant thinking and feeling.

Giving is feeling grateful for the opportunities to Give.

Giving is sharing what we have with all to encourage having all we need to share.

Giving is reminding everyone that there is always Good to be shared with everyone.

Giving is joyous and gives us vitality, energy, health and fun.

Giving is recognizing the unlimited source of All Good within.

Giving is inspiring the flow of true prosperity for everyone.

Giving is recognizing that abundant living comes from joyful giving.

Giving builds trust and freedom and Love.

Giving has no less or more.

Giving demonstrates the connection of giver and receiver.

Giving is learning to relinquish our control and trust in a Higher Power.

To have All, Give All to All.

When you give, give what is eternal and unlimited……..

Faith, Hope and Love and the Greatest gift you have is the Gift of your Holy Self.

I love and appreciate You, the Authentic You, beyond space and time, as I love and value my Self.

Loving You,

Betty Lue

What Is Real?

If you see it, it seems real.

If you feel it, it feels real.

If you believe it, you will see it.

If you think it is real, it will be real for you.

To try to talk someone out of what they see and believe and feel will not undo its reality for them.

To preach, teach, demonstrate or demand someone change their mind will not work.

To push against strong beliefs only serves to strengthen their conviction, resistance, need to be right.

To step away and accept everyone’s right to believe, see and feel as they do allows freedom of choice.

When I trust you to believe as you do, I respect where you are in your journey of spiritual development.

When I trust you and I are both learning from our life path, I am encouraging freedom to choose.

When I respect your need to grow and know what is “right” for you, I loving you unconditionally.

When I open my mind to see and believe with an expanded viewpoint, I make no one “wrong”.

If this world were open to all viewpoints with no judgment, we could see more all together.

If humanity discovered how life works with an appreciations for all possibilities, we could explore freely.

If families allowed each member to explore and express their own unique way, there would be peace.

If organizations accepted all beliefs, there would be open discussion and exploration of each one.

People seem to gravitate toward those who believe the same with like-minded thinking.

Groups often gather to affirm similar viewpoints and conform to the majority.

Instead of dialoguing with respect for other ideas, we tend to attach to being “right” about our own.

Instead of seeking to understand the other before wanting to be understood, some tune out the differences.

Perhaps there is a reality of Union, a shared place where all are included, respected and loved.

Perhaps there is a way, we can live in peace, ending the need to be in conflict with others perspectives.

Perhaps we can find a way to open our minds and hearts, to suspend fear and judgment.

Perhaps we can choose to live without needing to change or fix anyone..

Is it possible that if you were loved and respected, you would not be angry or feel hurt?

Is it possible that if you were never criticized or rejected, you would be happy and open?

Is it possible that if you were not scrutinized, blamed, or punished, you would not be afraid?

Is it possible that if you felt safe and free and content, you would be more happy, healthy and loving?

You and I can make the difference in creating a reality wherever we are that feels good for everyone.

We can give ourselves and others the gift of no blame or criticism, no rejection or punishment.

We can create a space of safety, freedom and contentment where all can be happy, healthy and loving.

Begin today to explore the path of trust and freedom, a reality of unconditional Love for everyone.

Belief will come with experimentation. 

What we see will reinforce that trust and freedom work.

When we see it, we will feel how good it is to live and give safety, freedom and acceptance to everyone.

Loving us all as One,

Betty Lue

Managing Your Emotions

When you feel uplifting and high vibration emotions, share with those who are able to receive them.

When you share positive emotions with those who are negative, they may resist or avoid you.

When you share intense emotions with those who are feeling peaceful, they may reject you. 

When you share negative emotions with those who are positive and happy, them may avoid you.

Share your joy, your enthusiasm and your blessings, with those who will enjoy them too. 

Choose wisely those who can appreciate your Good and be happy with you.

When you feel negative, toxic emotions, share with those who are open for flushing the toilet.

Do not commiserate or obligate others to sympathize with you, unless you want to bring them down.

Lower vibration or toxic emotions belong in the toilet, so learn to release in private.

The habit of hurting the ones we love with our own poop and puke pollutes our relationships.

For those who are used to creating commiserating relationships, this may be a difficult habit to break.

For those who know misery loves company, and seek to avoid misery, you may need to set boundaries.

For those who love to gossip, share complaints, worries and problems, you seek eager listeners.

For those who share only Good News, positive prayers and high Truth, you look for like-minded others.

What to do with the unconscious guilt of humanity?

What do you do with your own pet peeves, negativity and garbage?

What do you do with others dumping on you their complaints, criticisms and struggles?

What do you do with the leftover, unresolved disaster, disappointment and despair?

We all know what to do with poop and puke.

We all know what to do with garbage.

We all know what to do with poison.

Dump it. 

Flush it.

Forgive it.

Release it.

Erase it.

You can write it, yell it,  breathe it out, but let it go.

Forgiveness is a cosmic enema.

Why would we want to share or keep anything that could do harm to anyone?

Why would we want to hurt others with our stories, our misery, our trials and tribulations?

We may have learned that to love is to share in the pain and the problems.

We may have believed that suffering is eased when we can suffer together.

Ask for help in releasing what you no longer value.

Join with others to let go and forgive what does no good.

Give only to the Source of Healing and Goodness what needs to be handles from a higher perspective.

Give up getting agreement from another on what you are making wrong, sinful or evil.

Where there is negative agreement, negativity continues.

When there is on a positive outcome, the right outcome is manifest.

There is power in joined minds, words and actions.

When we join emotionally with another, we encourage and strengthen those emotions.

Misery may love ego’s company and groups may sink to the lowest common denominator.

True healing and inspired progress happens when we join in positive thinking, kind words and trusting activities. 

Loving us all as we forgive our destructive habits,

Betty Lue

Twelve Daily Steps To Optimistic Living

1. Focus on my successes rather than on my failures.

2. Notice that which I have accomplished rather than that which I’ve left undone.

3. See and acknowledge my beauty rather than focusing on my imperfections.

4. Notice and acknowledge all the times I’ve followed the optimum conditions,rather than judging myself for the times I have not.

5. Acknowledge all my wins each and every day.

6. Create and maintain an environment that nurtures me.

7.  See problems as opportunities to learn from rather than as obstacles to avoid.

8.  Tell the whole truth on a moment to moment basis in order to maintain impeccable and loving relationships.

9. Be conscious every moment to put positive thoughts into my mind rather than negative, knowing all thoughts are creative.

10.  Appreciate my feelings as a means of understanding myself, thus directing and creating my reality.

11. Continue to forgive myself and others as a means of creating a state of Grace.

12. Fill my life with joy and ecstasy by practicing daily the art and skill of verbally expressing my gratitude for all that I have.

How to Ask for Help and Offer Help

Sounds easy, but is actually is quite confusing to both helper and one seeking help.

And More details for success than I have written here!

When you want help:

*Ask yourself what you really need and listen within.

*Ask your inner Self (guides) from whom you best can ask.

*Ask your Self what will be of greatest value to you.

*Ask for it from someone whom you know is able to give it.

*Be very clear about exactly what you want.

(Help me get clear, help me financially, help me with just listening, help me with your best advice, etc)

*Be respectful of the others’ time and energy.

(Ask for specific time to make your request.) 

*Choose the most effective way, timing and request for the one from whom you are asking.

( In person, by letter or email, by appointment, through another person)

*Be grateful for what is given using the most respectful communication and ettiquette 

(Please, thanks, and even  note followup.)

*If you want help, it is your responsibility to set up the conditions to most likely receive it.

*When you feel unworthy or guilty, you will set up circumstances to not receive what you want.

Begin with forgiving your thoughts and feelings of neediness.

Choose to requesting support or encouragement or inspiration from the other.

*Offer what feels good to you as gratitude.

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When you are asked for Help:

*Set a confidential time to clarify the request.

*Determine what is the perceived need.

*Ask what other avenues have been pursued if appropriate.

*Wait before jumping in to say “YES”, and listen within.

Help is not always helpful.

It can lead to dependency.

It can disempower the other. 

It can be detrimental to one or both parties.

It may be a false request.

What is requested may not always be what is needed.

Teach always, before providing the answers.

Listen and seek to understand.

When you are not peaceful inside about your choice to help, it is not truly helpful.

*Always listen within to see if what you are giving is given with gratitude, respect and encouragement. 

*Give to the dignity of the other, rather than their “neediness”.  

*Give to what inspires both of you.

Giving because you feel sorry does not support their self respect, determination and self worth. 

Giving when you want them go away or stop whining only teaches them to be needy and whine more.

*Ask what your helping will reinforce, teach and encourage.

*Always encourage the other to be clear, respectful of themselves and their helpers and supporters. 

TRUE HELPING IS REALLY SERVING WHAT IS GOOD, HEALING AND INSPIRING FOR EVERYONE.

Loving us all as we receive what we give and recognize we are really giving to the One, to ourselves.

Betty Lue

Helping, Fixing, Serving

--by Rachel Remen (May 29, 2000)

Service is not the same as helping. 

Helping is based on inequality, it's not a relationship between equals. When you help, you use your own strength to help someone with less strength. It's a one up, one down relationship, and people feel this inequality. When we help, we may inadvertently take away more than we give, diminishing the person's sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

Now, when I help I am very aware of my own strength, but we don't serve with our strength, we serve with ourselves. We draw from all our experiences: our wounds serve, our limitations serve, even our darkness serves. The wholeness in us serves the wholeness in the other, and the wholeness in life. Helping incurs debt: when you help someone, they owe you. But service is mutual. When I help I have a feeling of satisfaction, but when I serve I have a feeling of gratitude.

Serving is also different from fixing. We fix broken pipes, we don't fix people. When I set about fixing another person, it's because I see them as broken. Fixing is a form of judgment that separates us from one another; it creates a distance.

So, fundamentally, helping, fixing and serving are ways of seeing life. When you help, you see life as weak; when you fix, you see life as broken; and when you serve, you see life as whole.

When we serve in this way, we understand that this person's suffering is also my suffering, that their joy is also my joy and then the impulse to serve arises naturally - our natural wisdom and compassion presents itself quite simply. A server knows that they're being used and has the willingness to be used in the service of something greater. 

We may help or fix many things in our lives, but when we serve, we are always in the service of wholeness.

--Rachel Remen, from Zen Hospice