Sunday, October 31, 2010

Masks, Identities and World View

Happy Halloween!!!

What masks do you wear?
What have been your changing identities?
How do you see your world view?
What is your place in the world you see?

Have you chosen an identity which fits your view of your family, community and world?
Do you play the parts that are needed to awaken, heal, soothe, stir up, discipline, teach, etc?
Is it possible that whatever part you played in your family system worked for everyone?
Likewise, do you choose the mask you wear at work, in everyday life that fits for you?

As children we may have played cute and small, sick and needy, helpful and obedient, strong and brave, rebellious and disruptive, or ??? to fit the needs in our family of origin.
Whether hero, distractor, pleaser, or questioner, we may have assigned ourselves the right part to play.
And so in adult life, we unconsciously choose parts to play to fit with the needs at the time.
I know I have played, attorney’s wife and gourmet cook, helpless and ditzy blond, frumpy housewife and mother, silly and nurturing grandma, wise spiritual teacher, inspiring and passionate speaker, organized and directive leader and many more……..

Begin to look at the masks you wear, the parts you play, the identities you have given yourself.
We may change jobs, change states, change marriages, changes personas to give ourselves new choices.
We may change our attitudes and emotions which changes how we wear our face and body posture.
We may change our tone of voice and the words we use to change how we are perceived.

The more flexibility we have, the more we can use our facial expression, voice and dress on purpose.
The freer we are, without attachment to our ego’s needs, the more we can use what we have effectively.
The more willingness we give ourselves to see what is needed and respond, the more we change.

Life is like a kaleidoscope of perceptions and perspectives.
When we adjust our selves to create and respond to what we see, the more empowered are we.
When we can change from Clark Kent to Super Man on call, we are free and trusting.
When we trust ourselves to be wise and willing, happy and helpful, dramatic and daring, life is fun.

Halloween is practice for stepping into new roles.
Halloween gives each child and adult an opportunity to experience another viewpoint.
Halloween allows us to step into another role and identity.
Halloween is a mock performance of what we do everyday when we decide what to wear.

Take a look at your usual and customary identity….
Does it work in your family and at work?
It your usual face the countenance you want to see and be seen wearing?
If not change it!

Today, you can choose again.
Faces are malleable.
Clothing is optional.
Posture can be altered.
Choose for what suits the situation.
Choose for what brings you success.
Choose for what works.
Choose your mask and identity and life role today!...and Everyday!

Loving you,  

Betty Lue

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Relationships Matter!

Relationships are the way in which we heal and grow, learn and know, our reason for Being.
Relationships are the grist for our mill that refines us and smooths out our rough edges.
Relationships offer the opportunity to choose to criticize and judge or love and appreciate.
Relationships show us a choice for harmony, unity and oneness over conflict, polarity and separation.

We are here in a body which seems to defines us with a separate identity and name.
We are taught to look out for ourselves to survive and succeed. (ego phase)
When we are sick, incapacitated, unconscious or sleeping, we find a place to hide to be safe. (amoral)
As a child, we learn to seek approval of parents, teachers and authorities to feel loved. (Pleaser)
When we step into adolescence we seek, analyze, and want specifics as we judge our world. (authority)
As we mature, we  seek to values and principles to live by. (principle phase)
With spiritual development, we begin to see our responsibility in all encounters. (responsible)
With actualization and balance, we experience peace, success, freedom and empowerment.(Universal

In our relationship with ourselves, we learn to forgive and learn from our errors.
In our relationships with our bodies, we learn to heal what is not real.
In our relationships with the weather, we learn to accept and do the best with what comes.
In our relationships with time, we learn to be patient and use it wisely.
In our relationships with money, we learn to conserve in prosperous times and share when needed.
In our relationships with work, we learn to give our best and appreciate what we do.
In our relationships with Creator, Source, the Great Mystery, we learn to listen and be grateful.
In our relationships with knowledge, we learn to explore all sides and beyond human understanding.
In our relationships with the world, we learn to give as we are guided to better the life of all humanity.
In our relationships with our family and friends, we learn to love in the ways which are truly helpful.
In our relationships with those we encounter, we learn to listen, let go, laugh and always love one another.
In our relationships with self, we are awakening to the Universal Self that is always and only Love.

Life is remembering to trust.
Life is the opportunity to see we are free.
Life is forgiving, erasing and undoing the fears and limitations we have learned.
Life is for the purpose of giving……and we are the gifts…….for ourselves and one another.

Bless us all as we remember and realize our holy healing purpose is to awaken to the Gift We Are.
Betty Lue

Friday, October 29, 2010

The Power of the Vote

If we vote, we have power.
If we do not, we cannot complain.
If we speak up, we have power.
If we do not, we cannot blame.

If we act, we have power.
If we do not, we cannot expect action.
If we choose, we have power.
If we wait and see, we waste our energy.

Wishing, hoping and praying without action wastes our vision, our will and our choice.
Criticizing, complaining and blaming stifles power for change.
Clarifying, choosing and communicating empower us and others with focus and foresight.
Change requires that we know where we are, know what we want and choose our goal.

It is easy to make others wrong.
It is easy to complain and do nothing.
It is easy to give up before you start.
It is easy to excuse lethargy and laziness.

Now is the time to make the course corrections you want in your own life.
Now is the time to think, speak and act with clarity, conscious choice and commitment.
Now is the time to put our time, money and energy into what we want to be.
Now is the time to vote with our words and actions, our expenditures of time and money.

What am I doing? ( have done and will continue to do)
I vote every election by absentee ballot.
I read the propositions summaries, look at the folks who support and vote for my priorities.
(education, rehabilitation, social services, transportation and what increases the growth of our nation.)
I work in classrooms of my grandchildren and support the parents, teachers and students in doing well.
I pay my taxes with gratitude when they are used for education and other constructive uses.
I contribute to non-profit resources where the monies are used to inspire people to love their families and gain education and contribute to others.
I spend monies joyfully knowing I am contributing to the economy and to jobs and wellbeing of families.
I save monies to be used when and where there is a need or I am called to help someone help themselves.
I tithe time, energy and monies to people, places and activities that inspire me and expand my potential.
I watch and read only inspiring media and reading material and encourage others to do the same.
I am opening ( with the help of many in my groups, congregation and those I know) a monthly community resources and services clinic.  I will be encouraging those who receive to give back and serve others.  (Feed a hungry man first and then teach him to fish for himself and then go out and teach others!)
I open all my events and retreats to everyone to attend with or without money.
I praise and pray for our president and those who hold a high intention of service to humanity.

I know if we all care, we can share what we have and do what is fair for all.
We simply must act, vote with our voice, our choice and our money for what we believe in.
When we all go for the good we want for ourselves and our families, we will succeed.
Blessings of gratitude for your partnership in creating a better world.
Betty Lue

Thursday, October 28, 2010

What is Your Business?

Our Sunday talks at Unity Center for Inspired Living are available to listen on line at
Click on the left side menu where it says “Past Talks”.

Do you care?
Are you helpful?
Do you offer suggestions?
Are you minding someone else’s business?

What is your business?

How do you care for yourself?
Are you effective in helping yourself?
Do you have suggestions for how you can do your life better?
Are you minding your own business?

What is your business?

Are you interfering?
Are you controlling?
Are you demanding?
Are you criticizing?

It is not helpful to interfere, control, demand, criticize.

It is not helpful to care for others when you have not cared for yourself.
It is not helpful to offer suggestions when you have not been asked.
It is not helpful to take care of other’s affairs when yours are in disorder.

The most helpful and loving relationships are those in which we trust others are doing their best.

The most effective way to learn is to experiment, make mistakes and learn from them.
The most supportive relationships are those in which we feel safe to ask for help.
The most constructive way to help someone is to wait until we are asked, listen carefully to the need and respond in the exact way the other has requested.

Most folks just want someone to listen.

As few want feedback and ideas.
Rarely does someone what us to tell them what to do.
To be responsible is to respond with love in the way it is received as love.

The way our parents, teachers and role models “loved” us  is often the way we love others.

If we were criticized, we criticize.
If we were belittled or intimidated, we will find ourselves doing the same.
If our parents meddled or were minding our business, we will have the tendency to “love” the same.

These are not “healthy” or functional ways of loving.
These ways of loving are found when we are trying to keep others from making mistakes.
When people are afraid for others, they meddle, interfere and control.

When people are loving others, they trust them to learn and free them to explore and enjoy.
My suggestion over the years for those who find themselves over involved with their teens or parents or others…has been to “get a life.”

Most folks who are involved, nosey, gossiping or criticizing, have lack of meaning and life purpose.
Most people who are critical, judgmental or demanding of others, have not handled their own issues.
Most of humanity has a lifetime of work to do to heal, grow, and develop their own potential.

If you find you are nosey or minding other’s affairs, ask yourself what is missing in your own life.

Meet your personal needs directly.
Take inventory and clean up your own areas of conscious and unconscious omission and commission.
Take impeccable care of your own thoughts, words and behavior, your relationships, finances and home.

It is easier to advise another than to do your own work.
Start by doing the work you need to do and you will have more compassion for others.

Loving the work I do everyday to clean my own inner and outer house and garden.
Betty Lue

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Why Not Tell the Whole Truth?

Truth is relative.
What we see and believe and perceive is in the eye of the beholder.
If we believe the worst, we see the worst.
What we believe, we see.

The mind will seek for confirmation of what it believes.
The mind searches to make itself “right”.
The mind wants to prove its own “truth”.
What we express as “truth”, causes denial of what others believe and perceive.

Everyone is seeing life through their own filters.
Perceptual filters come from history, experience, teachings and beliefs.
We filter evidence to prove ourselves right in what we believe.
Therefore the only truth is what we believe.

Years ago I learned a powerful relationship and communication tool.Express your opinion ( perception/truth) one time only.
If the other simply listens, let it go.  No need to repeat or ask for agreement.
If the other resists or disagrees, drop your position.
Let it go and listen with an open mind.

There is no benefit in arguing or fighting to win.
Arguing usually engenders a win/lose fight.
Fighting usually creates a separation, disharmony and lack of love.
Separation and lack of love usually cause unhappiness for both parties.

When we share emotional truth, the emotions distort the facts.
When sharing facts, perceptions and “truths”. we must realize they are distorted and colored by feelings.
When we are neutral and have no vested interest in our way of seeing things, we can openly consider others viewpoints, perceptions and truths.
The more we can model open-mindedness and consideration of the others viewpoint, the more we demonstrate a “fair-care-share” way of relating.

Remember, your “truth” is not the whole truth.
Your truth represents your beliefs, history, perceptions and choices.
Every other perception or “truth” will be different than yours.
When we hear and accept others viewpoints, we are wiser and more able to negotiate win/win solutions.

Consider the power of being conscious and aware.
Consider the energy savings of no more arguing or proving yourself “right”.
Consider the value of building open, respectful, responsible and cooperative relationships.
Consider the enjoyment that comes from living and working in harmony with collaboration.

This is not only possible, it is essential for those who choose to live at peace.
This is a powerful model in a family setting, demonstrating for children a better way to live.
This conflict resolution tool will bring respect, cooperation and peace to all negotiations.
Peace to all who choose to find a better way,
Betty Lue

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Time to Go?

How do you know when it is time to go?
Is there more to learn, to heal, to give?
Do you depend on the other in order to live?
Are there others involved who may be hurt?

How do you know when it is time to go?
Have you given your best and let go of the rest?
Do you take full responsibility for your part?
Have you healed your past so you can be present in love?

Some stay too long, even when the job is done.
Some leave too soon, leaving unfinished business for later.
Some linger in regret, never willing to forget.
Some move on, until they run in to the same experience once again.

Are willing to finish what you started?
Are you aware of the healing needs for all?
Have you considered all the options?
Are you honest with yourself about what you can do?

Are you willing to forgive the past?
Are you open to beginning anew?
Can you clear your mind of what went on before?
Can you see yourself powerful, loving and true?

Whether you leave or you go, all these answers are good to know.
When you leave, your past follows behind only to show up in a new place and time.
True forgiveness see with new eyes the gift and blessing in all that has gone before.
True Love trusts in the right and kind answers to every question and conversation.

I encourage you to stay until you are neutral.
I invite you to heal and release the past.
I support you finding full appreciation.
I appreciate you in having the courage to forgive and choose again.

The way of Love is the one in which no one loses.
The way of fear is the one which hurts and confuses.
Take you time to stop, look and listen within.
You are creating new territory in which to begin to be the Best You.

Loving you in all you choose to do with Love in your heart,
Betty Lue

Honorable Closure        

How do you complete a relationship, a marriage, a teaching-learning experience, a job, a friendship? How do you know you are really complete?
Often people walk away without really finishing the spiritual work, because it is easier emotionally.   People don’t know how to come to a truly peaceful place, where “good-bye” is really “God be with You.”
When we are complete, we are at peace and in love.
We have no regrets, no resentments, no unhappy memories.

Honorable closure acknowledges:

1)   the learning and growth received,
2)   challenges and difficulties experienced,
3)   appreciation of gifts and blessings,
4)   forgiveness and amends made.

Acknowledge within your self and with the other person all that you have learned and how you have grown and benefited from the experience.

Honor and express the challenges and difficulties that occurred and perhaps were endured during the time together.

Offer your gratitude and appreciation to the other for the benefits you received.

Share your forgiveness and/or make amends for those places of unconscious or conscious errors of omission or commission.  Often neither party is aware of what went unexpressed until the two have an opportunity to talk together.  This is very valuable when done with the conscious intention for a peaceful conclusion.

And lastly, give your full appreciation and blessings to those whom you are leaving.

Honorable closure always includes a face to face or heart to heart connection so that all parties have a full opportunity to express their piece of the whole. Incompletion is never one sided. If one party loses and is in grief neither person is at peace.
Do your part when you part.
When we complete a relationship, job, living situation with honor for all, we are free to choose again without being haunted by the past or unconsciously repeating the same patterns.

To move on, to create anew, to be fully inspired requires honorable closure.  Begin now.

Saying good-bye can be done with love, respect and profound gratitude and inner peace.
Betty Lue

Monday, October 25, 2010

Respectful Communication

Communicate in the manner in which you would appreciate receiving communication.

Treat yourself and others with respect.

Consciously think, speak, write and act in respectful ways toward everyone.
Make it a habit, a natural way of thinking and talking, to communicate with respect.
Our families, communities, businesses and schools need our respectful modeling.

Stop using profanity, even if it is popular.
Start using simple etiquette in language.
Excuse me. Please and Thank you.  May I speak with you?

Speak or call or write when you have something meaningful to say.

When you use the phone, be very clear about your name, reason for calling and request.
End conversations with appreciation.  Thanks for your time. Have a good day.

Take no ones time for trivial things, gossip, opinions and just filling time with nonsense.
Always ask if the listener has time to converse.  “Is this a good time to talk with you?”

Functional communication tool:

Express your true feelings and wants one time only and then listen to what the other feels and wants.
I feel…….
I want……
I am willing…….

To repeat our requests and/or feelings over and over sounds like nagging and complaining.

It is an ineffective way to get another’s attention and often yields defensiveness or withdrawal.
To state our need, want or desire one time accurately with authentic feeling has major impact as long as we are silent after a short sentence allowing the listener to really “hear” us.
Our follow-up must be to then respectfully ask how they feel and what they want after we shared.

It is always important to give equal time to both parties.

It is most effective when we speak in a tone and with body language and words that are respectful.
When we condemn, make fun, criticize or accuse, we turn off the other’s ability to respond honestly.
When we actually seek for resolution and peace, we create it with our attitude, our words and behavior.

The less we communicate face-to-face, the more we miss in how we are being received.

When you know someone well and there is a mutual trust and respect, email and text can work.
When there is strong emotion or you know little about one another, personal contact is essential.
Too often we hide (protect our vulnerability) by using impersonal communication or avoidance.

The goal and definition of  “COMMUNICATION” is to “come together as one, in unity…….

When you fail to connect and feel united, you lose  respect, trust, power and inner peace.
The more we accumulate experience of loss of connection and ineffective communication, the less successful we will be in future relationships and in life.
We lose confidence, trust and respect with others and with ourselves when we are ineffective.

Perhaps this loving reminder is a wakeup call to make some changes.

Perhaps you need to forgive all your past mistakes.
Perhaps you are called to affirm your willingness to communicate always for the highest good in mind!
Perhaps you simply need to love enough to let go of your fear of miscommunication.

I am loving you, 

Betty Lue

Sunday, October 24, 2010

What Is True for You?

Each person sees Truth differently.
There is no singular Truth.
Therefore there is no universal right and no universal wrong.
There are exceptions and circumstances and perceptions and viewpoints that differ.

When we want to be right, we simply focus on what agrees with our truth.
When we want others to be wrong, we simply see through our lens how we disagree.
When we want to be fair, we begin to care.
When we care about our brother, we stand in their shoes and look at life through their eyes.

This is forgiveness.
To forgive is to live seeking what is in the best interest of all concerned.
To forgive is to give the gift of willingness to let go of our selective perception and judgment.
To forgive is to be willing to listen, let go, understand and be compassionate with and for the other.
To forgive is to seek only for the Highest Truth, what is Good for one and all.

Many have learned to demand their own way, the “right” way for them.
This is the defensiveness of the ego, the singular individual wanting his/her ego needs met.
Some have learned to please the other, to give up their own needs to keep the other quiet and content.
This is the protectiveness of the ego, trying not to hurt anyone, but sacrificing themselves.

A few have learned to do what is “fair” for all by caring and sharing their truths and listening to others.
These are the mature individuals who understand that when even one loses, all lose.
To step into principle-centered living and giving requires a Higher Truth which few yet understand.
When we see to support the needs of everyone, we must learn to know our own and listen equally to all.

What is true for one, may be untrue for others.
What is true for others may be untrue for you.
To support each individual in living their truth is key for healing, growth and greater wisdom.
To respect each person’s experiences and circumstances requires knowing their intention and goals.

Children have more innocent and direct intentions, usually they are exploring the way the world works.
Teens are clear about wanting to master their own choices and  learn from the consequence.
Many adults try to control the world and make things happen their way.
Mature individuals seek only to respond to others and the world in a loving and respectful way.

What is true for you?
Where are you in your life journey?
How do you try to teach others your truth?
Are you willing to let go of what you see and try walking in another’s shoes.
Forgive and you will see things differently.
Forgive and you will seek only to be kind.
Forgive and you will live with inner peace.
Forgive and your will know the Higher Truth.
Seek first a life of Goodness, and all Good things will be given to You.
“What you seek, you find for yourself.”
Loving you,  

Betty Lue

This may help you understand how each individual has their own perceptions and their own “Truth”.
The Mind Map—A Model of Behavior and Personality The Guerrilla Group, Inc.

The Amoral Phase·      Birth to age 2    
Needs are primarily physical (eating, sleeping, crying)      
Shuts down under stress     
Best approach = exit and return at another time.

The EGO Phase
·      The “terrible twos”·      

Needs are primarily mental (possessiveness, attention-seeking, control)   
Cognitive priority = status·      Competitive—everything is a contest   
Dishonesty takes the form of self-aggrandizement  
Distrust salespeople and are afraid of being taken advantage of
Sees transactions as a contest they must win
Unasked question = “Are you good enough” (to work with me, to be with me, etc.)
Best Approach
·      Ask about achievements and awards.   

Give them the competitive edge.    
 Demonstrate your leadership.   
Be assertive without being challenging.

·      Ages four or five to age ten.·      

Needs are primarily psychological   
Gets needs met by complying with others.   
Cognitive priority = acceptance.
Want love, approval and understanding.
Fiercely loyal to their friends.
Hesitant to make decisions for fear of being criticized.
Will not reject you openly.
Dishonesty takes the form of lies of omission.
Unspoken question = “Do you really care about me or are you just being nice to get my business?”
Best Approach

Be friendly. Ask about people.
Be somewhat assertive.
Focus on the relationship.
Make specific recommendations.

      The teen years.     

Need rules and structure.
Gets needs met by following procedures.
Cognitive priority = control.
More comfortable with numbers than with people.
Shy, aloof, impersonal, uncommunicative.
Will argue for the fun of it.
Automatic dislike and distrust.
 Judgmental, opinionated.
May suffer from paralysis by analysis.
Unspoken question = “What are the facts.”
Best Approach

Avoid friendly gestures.
Appeal to systems, logic and quoted sources.
Focus on the facts, statistics, paybacks.

      Age thirty-something.

Shift from rational to intuitive.
Gets needs met by following correct principles.
Best Approach

Open communication.
Show you’re fair-care-share.
Focus on collaboration and problem-solving.

      Usually late in life.

Applies principles responsibly.
Best Approach

Social, ethical and environmental responsibility.
Stress benefits to the community at large.

      You at your highest potential.

Consistently live by correct principles.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Falling Apart

When things fall apart, pick up only the pieces that you value.
When life disintegrates, let it reintegrate at a higher level.
There is no need to try to make something out of nothing.
Release and let go and let Good in you change your life.

As I observe relationships falter and drop away, I see people cling to what was or what “could” be.
As I see jobs end and homes go into foreclosure, I observe desperation in hanging on and making wrong.
As I notice tough times and complaining people, I feel depletion of energy and more lack of self respect.
When we lose everything, sometimes we gain far more than we lost.

“When one door closes, another will open.  Look for the light!.”
When life seems to fall into disarray, pick up only the pieces you like and move on,
When you have lost your most valued prize, person, talent, look for the next gift, the blessing.
When you have grief, grieve, forgive, trust and choose again.

As I notice the decline of our society’s mores, self respect and mature choices, I ask what will come.
As I see relationships fall apart, I seek the creative solutions and positive resolution of conflict.
As I watch people betray, attack, hurt and speak ill of others, I am concerned for lack of consciousness.
What we give, we receive.  What goes around, comes around.  What we have done will be done to us.

All this is true until we learn….
Some learn from a gentle word, a soft breeze, a passing glance.
Some ignore and keep going against the grain, until they lose everything.
Wakeup calls come in all levels of intensity.

When we see it takes a disaster for us to notice and change our ways, we are forewarned to wake up.
When we become conscious, we can look for comfort and fall asleep again or stay conscious.
When we are willing to be an awakened being, we take full responsibility for everything in our lives.
When we take responsibility and stop the “blame game”, we are at choice, in charge and consistent.

Life with its ceaseless changes is designed to be played and enjoyed consciously.
When we take advantage of our “good life” and good job and good wife and good world, we fall asleep.
While we are asleep, we fail to care for what we love with daily appreciation and contribution.
When we don’t feed the good with like Goodness, our Good is starved and we go hungry.

Take time today to look around and feed the Good in your life with Abundant Goodness.
Give your world another look and fully appreciate those you love and admire.
Honor what you have created by keeping it all in Good order and sharing its value with others.
Keep nothing for yourself and stop feeding your greed by tending only your own garden.

Life is a gift. Treat it with great respect and always acknowledge the Giver.
Loving you, 

Betty Lue
A man who lived on the northern frontier of China was skilled in interpreting events.
One day, for no reason, his horse ran away to the nomads across the border.
Everyone tried to console him, but his father said, "What makes you so sure this isn't a blessing?"
Some months later his horse returned, bringing a splendid nomad stallion.
Everyone congratulated him, but his father said, "What makes you so sure this isn't a disaster?"
Their household was richer by a fine horse, which his son loved to ride.
One day he fell and broke his hip.
Everyone tried to console him, but his father said, "What makes you so sure this isn't a blessing?"
A year later the nomads came in force across the border, and every able-bodied man took his bow and went into battle.
The Chinese frontiersmen lost nine of every ten men.
Only because the son was lame did the father and son survive to take care of each other.
Truly, blessing turns to disaster, and disaster to blessing.
 the changes have no end, nor can the mystery be fathomed.
The Lost Horse,  Chinese Folktale.

Thursday, October 21, 2010


Moderation in all things is the key to a balanced life.
Where there is too much intensity, seek mellowness.
Where there is too much darkness, seek the light.
Where there is too much seriousness, seek the playfulness.
Where there is too much separation, seek closeness.
Where there is too much hurt, seek to heal.
Where there is too much lack, seek fulfillment.
Where there is too much depression, seek expression.
Where there is too much, there is a call for less.
Know there are cycles and seasons as with the moon.
Know there is and ever flowing changing when we are not stuck with attachment.
Know there are opportunities to move around the obstacles when we feel blocked.
Know there are innumerable solutions when we release fear and see the big picture.

Life is not black and white.
Life holds many colors, shades and opportunities to look at all sides.
When in disagreement, it is always best to drop your fixed opinion and see things another way.
The more you can see from many points of view, the more successful you will be.

The ways of our past bleed through into our future until we forgive and choose again.
The opinions of our admired forefathers become our present reality until we choose again.
The unhealed wounds of humanity show up in our lives to be seen and healed differently.
The changing seasons, alternative perceptions and creative expansive mind can create healthy outcomes.

We need not despair that there are only two alternatives.
We need not get stuck in thinking there will be pain and loss for all.
We need not fight to get our way.
We need not fear for our survival and loss.

When we trust in God and essentialGoodness, we need merely ask to know a better way.
When we trust in the loving heart and creative mind, we find there is more than we have known before.
When we clear the fear and guilt and blame, we see everyone playing a different game, where all can win.
When we forgive, erase and delete the history of pain and loss and lack, we believe in healing, peace and prosperity for All.

What I speak of is not only possible, it is the way conscious beings relate and succeed and celebrate.
Let us together find mutually winning ways.
Let us live in mutual respect and loving kindness.
Let us listen with a compassionate heart and choose to have a new start, begin again as true friends.

Our relationships are meant to clear the past and heal the present.
Our relationships are a call to forgive and choose a better way to live.
Our relationships are a symbol of what  we still fear and fight to achieve.
Our relationships can be a tribute to the Goodness and Love in which we believe.

Choose again, 

Betty Lue
LOVEThere is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer;
No disease that enough love will not heal;
No door that enough love will not open;
No gulf that enough love will not bridge;
No wall that enough love will not throw down;
No sin that enough love will not redeem.

 It makes no difference
  how deeply seated may be the trouble,
How hopeless the outlook,
How muddled the tangle,
How great the mistake.
A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all.

 If only you could love enough, you would be the happiest
and most powerful being in the world.

Emmet Fox

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Don’t Bother

Trying to fix or change another may feel like a judgment, an attack or a statement of “better than”.
Wishing someone would be different is a judgment and a lack of love for who they are.
Working on getting someone to be what and how you want is manipulative.
Hoping you can affect change in another is a way of saying you are right and they are wrong.

Love is trust and freedom.When you Love, you trust the other is always doing their best.
When you Love, you are appreciative for the good you see.
When you Love, you give others your support, encouragement and affirmation.

When you fear, you judge the other is not doing their best.
When you fear, you criticize the negativity and what you see as bad.
When you fear, you offer you opinions, criticisms, judgments and suggestions.
When you emotionally assail another with your hurt or angry feelings, you are not loving them or yourself.

The best teacher is a clear role model and example.
The best teaching is one that is being lived rather than being told or demanded.
The best student is the one who is happy and willing because they feel loved.
The best success comes from holding the highest vision with confidence, clarity, consistency and commitment.

The most ineffective teacher is inconsistent and does not live their own teaching.
The worst teacher demands, threatens, bribes and treats the student disrespectfully.
The worst students feels scared, unhappy, unappreciated and unheard because they feel unloved.
The worst failure comes from being negative, abusive of self and others and lacks clarity, consistency and commitment.

I recommend that we step away from telling or teaching others unless we love, trust and respect those we teach.
I suggest we do not give our suggestions, criticisms, opinions, advice or judgment unless we are asked.
(Even these reminders are only sent to those who specifically request to be emailed.) And I immediately remove those who wish to stop receiving them!)  A
I inviteall of us to use our energies, ideas, opinions on cleaning up our own inner and outer life.
Everything we think and say and do teaches everyone everywhere.

It is imperative to change our own thoughts, our words and our actions in order to model for others a better way.
To impose our choices on others is counter productive and implies we know what is best for others.
To demand or threaten rejection or abandonment is an indication of our fear and lack of love.
To make others feel afraid or guilty is a poor motivator for improving human behavior.
(The rude and crude behaviors we see in the media and on the streets and in war, is not healing or helpful.)

Take time to live the highest Truth you know everyday with everyone.
You will be the Greatest Teacher and Healer you can imagine,
Loving you, 

Betty Lue

If Children ( Adults) Live With……….
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with: criticism, hostility, fear, pity, ridicule or jealousy,
They will learn to: condemn, fight, be apprehensive, feel sorry for themselves,
feel shy and feel envy
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and others.If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Buck Stops Here

Yesterday’s and today’s reminders are possibly the strongest I have ever written.  I laughed at myself and was surprise when I heard what I was writing.  But today’s world is perhaps stranger and stronger in its rudeness and crudeness than I have know in my 67 years.  The stress of joblessness, the threat of financial ruin, the nature of the media, the political/ religious climate of hatred and righteousness seem to have escalated the human need to heal from within.  Those of you who receive these reminders are the ones who can vision, forgive, lead by example, teach, heal and remind others of their true nature.  I thank us all and bless us all for our willingness.  Betty Lue

Time to be kind to the One you love.
Begin with yourself.
You will find that everything you dump comes from your own inner woundedness.
You will heal when you heal the woundedness in you.

This is the generation in which we have the time, energy and willingness to clean up our act.
We are the ones who can stop the rampant violence, depression and harmful habits.
We can together heal what is not helpful, healing, beneficial, and kind for others.
We can undo what is ineffective, negative, blaming and destructive.

We need to heal the origin of our inner wound.
Awareness without judgment is healing.What we reveal with compassion and understanding will heal.
When we offer peace to our inner conflict and love to our fears, we can heal.

When an infant or toddler is rejected or punished for making a mistake, they may reject and punish others.
When a parent/teacher displayed anger or withheld love when you made mistakes, you may do the same.
When you saw people be cruel or lose their temper, you may do likewise.
What we experienced as very young children imprints our behaviors as adults.

To be rejected or abandoned by a parent (a child’s interpretation), often creates episodic abandonment of others and yourself.
How we were “loved” or “punished” often imprints adults to do the same to their children and mate.
It is imperative to stop the cycle of insanity and abuse to be conscious  about our thought and words.
It is essential that we do the work to clear the patterns of destructive and  counter productive behaviors.

Some perpetuate the destructive behaviors by acting out on their loved ones.
Some generate more of their childhood patterns by expecting and unconsciously inviting like experiences.
Some are passive and allow abusive behaviors.
Some pick and nag and aggravate in order to get the same behaviors as were familiar in childhood.

We each have a part to play in healing the wounds.
We each need to heal the limiting and harmful patterns within.
We each need to step away from the immediate precipitating event and look within.
We each need to ask ourselves: What is really upsetting us and what can we heal within ourselves?
At this time there seems to be make broken or disrupted relationships emerging.
People who have been hurting for years are now coming forth and asking for healing solutions.
We are at a crossroads: either actively and consciously heal the old wounds or let go and step away to find the clarity, conviction and consciously choose again for what is beneficial for all concerned.

There is no value or benefit in hurting another.
There is no value or benefit in letting yourself be hurt.
There is no value or benefit in continuing to play destructive unkind games.
There is no value or benefit in staying numb or unconscious with addictions to work, drugs, alcohol, etc…

It is time to wakeup.
Give yourself a new life.
Heal your old wound.
Present a positive model for your children and others to learn from.

I love enough to remind you of who you really are under the scars and rewounding you perpetuate.

Betty Lue

Monday, October 18, 2010

Stop Hurting the Ones You Love

(If this does not apply to you, let it go.  But read it, just in case it does.....)

Why do you poop and puke on your family and friends?
Why do you weaken the one you depend on?
Why do you dump your toxic waste where you live?
Why do you pretend you are strong and knowing, when you feel weak, lost and afraid?

It seems that many learn to give their worst to the ones they claim to love best.
It seems humanity has been taught to criticize is helpful and engenders improvement.
It appears that you and many like you believe your ugly thoughts and words don’t do harm.
If you love, if you want the best, if you seek improvement, start with yourself!

Yes, I am talking to the ones who seem to think hurting people with critical demanding words is OK.
Yes, I am writing to those who believe thinking hateful harmful thoughts do no damage.
Yes, I am speaking to the husbands and wives, parents and children, who are acting with malice.
Yes, I am sharing with you who sometimes dump all your negative feelings and words on others.

It is counter-productive to criticize.
It is ineffective to accuse and bruise with words.
It is weakening to blame those you need to be strong.
It is hurtful to all to display your cleverness and power with ugly words and outrageous behaviors.

You are hurting yourself everytime you hurt others.
You are condemning yourself when you damn others.
You are defeating your intended purpose when you poison those who love you.
You are displaying your inner faults every time you are critical of others.

Private bathrooms were created for the purpose of keeping garbage away from other people.
When you feel the need to dump negative emotions, angry thoughts, mean feelings, do it in private.
Use a journal to write and then throw the toxic material away..preferably without re-reading it.
Shout alone on a hilltop or in your car or into a pillow.
Release your negative energy by sweating it out with exercise and physical exertion.

Your stuff belongs to you.
Stop thinking someone else filled you with negativity.
When you have blaming, demanding and critical thoughts and feelings, they are yours to clear.
Settle the score, the resentment you have inside, instead of hurting the ones you love.

When negativity comes up, step back and ask your inner self;
"What do I really want?"

"What really is upsetting me?" 
"How can I heal and clear this issue within myself?”
To harm another is harmful to you.
When you attack, you will fear being attacked.
When you weaken another, you will receive less benefit from them (never more!)
When you kill another’s Spirit, you are defeating your higher purpose and true goal.

I know you get the message.
I know you know you need to change.
I know you understand you are simply doing what you were taught.
I know parenting and our society has contributed mightily to this problem.

However, you are the solution.
Be creative.
Seek help.
Stop the craziness.
Find a better way.

Loving you, 

Betty Lue

Sunday, October 17, 2010

You Are Rich!

See the riches you have in your life.
The air you breathe, the water you drink, the sun that shines.
Appreciate the wealth that is yours.
You can read what you want. You can say what you feel. You can be serve others in need.

Enjoy what you have.
When you share the smile on your face or offer someone God’s Grace, you are rich.
Appreciate the values you hold.
Live true to what you believe and never withhold the happiness you fee.

Forgive your comparative mind.
Undo you feelings of envy and judgment.
See yourself as whole and good and fulfilled everyday.
You will know you are experiencing true prosperity.
To many prospering means being wealthy and having plenty of money.
To me, Prosperity means knowing you have enough to use and give for the Good of All.
True Prosperity is happiness, energy, inner peace, creativity and freedom to live on purpose.
Living on Purpose is doing what you love, sharing the Good you have and being fulfilled at work and home.

Many teach four prosperity principles are essential to live in prosperity.
·     God is Source, so tithe to the place where you are inspired by God and by Good.·     Forgive yourself for denying yourself and limiting yourself and your prosperity.·     Clarify your values and set goals according to your inspired visions and act on your goals.·     Live and give generously to living your Higher Purpose in alignment with your values.
Many spiritual leaders and religions teach to tithe or contribute10% to your church.
The principle of tithing came from needing to store 10% of your best seed to plant for the coming year.
I interpret the tithing principle somewhat differently.
Give to the Source of Good in and for you.  Give everyday at least 10% of your resources to whatever blessed you with happiness, inspiration, energy and vision.
Contribute time, energy and money to what inspires you and encourages you to be and give your best.

Give to what sustains, inspires and strengthens you.
Give to what grows your positive attitude and enthusiasm.
Give to what invites you to always be your best Self.
Give to the Goodness you see around you that is might Grow in our world!

Life offers us many gifts.
Some are outworn and need to be passed on.
Some are no longer of value and need to be relinquished.
Some need to be see and appreciated to expand and increase.

It is time we forgive our greediness and neediness and give to the source of Good.
Our wealth comes in building a world where all are blessed with the consciousness to prosper.
Our prosperity is experienced only when we stop complaining and start creating what we want.
Our riches lie in our unique ability to give what we have to create what we want to have more.

Bless us all for remembering and appreciating our true prosperity.
Bless you for remembering to contribute to what you value for the good of all.
Bless everyone for remembering we live in freedom and in God we trust.
Bless you and me for remembering to forgive and live generously.

Giving always and only the Best I have,
Betty Lue

PS Robert and I continue to tithe money, time and energy to a better world for all.
Consider giving more than your fair share and you will be given everything you need to continue giving.
Because we believe in what can be, we give to what is ours to do and to create.
“To have All, give all to all.” 
ACIM  I believe and receive with a grateful heart.

“And God is able to provide you with every blessing in abundance, so that you may always have enough of everything and may provide in abundance for every good work.”  II Corinthians 9:8

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Comfortable or Stuck?

Are you stuck in work or in worry?
Are you stuck in fatigue or in criticism?
Are you stuck in regret or in fear?
Are you stuck in duty or demands?

Are you comfortable in misery or depression?
Are you comfortable in problems and in conflict?
Are you comfortable in pain and unhappiness?
Are you comfortable in irritation and illness?

Are you depending on someone or something to fix you and make you happy?
Are you waiting for some miracle to set you free?
Are you pretending you are fulfilled and complete for the rest of your life?
Are you hoping you will be satisfied staying comfortable?

Process (for those who choose to try it out!)
Make two thorough lists….
What limits me?
What frees me?

Two affirmations: 
(written and spoken 20 times daily for a minimum of 14 days.)
I forgive myself for limiting myself.
I trust and support myself in freeing myself.
When we are in a comfort zone, we can rest and renew ourselg.
When we are comfortable, we can fall asleep and sink into lethargy, laziness and depression.
When we attached to being comfortable, we may not listen within for inspirational guidance.
When we are stuck to habits, people, routines and responsibilities, we may lose our way.

Wake up calls come in many forms: divorce, disaster, job loss, pain, disease, upset and irritation.
Wake up calls make us uncomfortable, but show up for a reason….to wake us up to life.
We are here to have harmonious, productive and fulfilling lives.
If we get attached or stuck we neglect to consider there may be more inspiration and growth ahead.

To get ‘set in our ways’ begins to shut us down and engender laziness and stagnancy.
There is a decline in our energy and life interest when we stop learning, growing and contributing.
We continue growing stronger and wiser as we follow what inspires and fulfills us and serves others.
We can grow weaker and duller as we follow what separates and cocoons us and limits us.

Is it time for a change?
We better love and appreciate when we do not stay too long.
We can be more trusting and freeing when we let go with our blessing.
We free ourselves when we free others to live as they choose.

Letting go is fun, safe and easy when done with Love and Appreciation,
Betty Lue

The freedom for you and I to be who we are.
The freedom to live life as we do.
The freedom to make mistakes and learn from them.
The freedom to express our own truth as we see it.
The trust that there is a constant flow of love, 
no matter what.
The trust that, in spite of life’s problems, 
we believe in and support each other’s right 
to live as we choose.
The trust that in adversity, 
there is healing and learning and gifts of love.
The trust that under conflict and emotional expression,
there is love
I love you and I trust you.
I free you to be all you are.

Betty Lue 1978

Friday, October 15, 2010

Healing and Reconciliation

There are themes in our lives which expose our healing needs.
There are cyclical patterns and problems that return again and again.
There are areas of neediness demanding our attention which show up.
There are areas of needed attention, healing and resolution for each of us.

While we may blame others and our world for our problems and issues, we need to come to peace within.
We look for a quick fix through medication or answer from outside authority instead of doing our work.
We make excuses and justify our continued problems, instead of facing our inner unresolved pain.
We may ask for help in seeking better and wiser ways to heal and reconcile our conflict and confusion.

The world of relationships and experiences is our learning and healing laboratory.
We have this human experience so we can see where we have limited and forsaken ourselves.
We challenge ourselves with growth opportunities to practice what we are learning and remembering.
We explore better ways to heal, renew and revitalize our enthusiasm for life.

Find the themes of needed attention.
Look for repeating issues with parents, opposite sex, body, etc.
Notice where certain memories, emotions and questions haunt you and keep coming to mind.
Be honest about consistent pains, fears or avoidances and seek their origin.

Every one of us has our healing/growth areas which call for clearing, healing, forgiving, undoing.
We must reveal what we seek to heal.
We must be willing to face what we want to erase.
We must let show in order to let go.

2010 is an Empress Year, according to some.
This year we may find mother issues with the need to identify areas of nurturing and nourishing.
Some see this as a time to come to peace with our own need to be more loving and open to Love.
Perhaps our planet, Mother Earth, needs more appreciation and respectful attention.

Forgiveness works!  (When practiced consistently)
Consider forgiving yourself , your mother, the planet and those you seek to be more nurturing.
I forgive myself for neglecting myself.
I forgive myself for punishing myself .
I forgive myself for causing pain emotionally, physically and financially to me.
I forgive myself for not take impeccable care of me.
I forgive myself for not giving myself the best.
I forgive myself for ignoring my needs for nurturing and nourishing me.
I forgive myself for withholding my love from others.
I forgive myself for being conditionally loving.
I forgive myself for using withdrawal of love to manipulate and punish others.
I forgive my mother for neglecting, punishing and causing pain to herself.
I forgive my mother for withdrawing love from me to manipulate and punish me.
I forgive my mother for not taking impeccable care of herself and for ignoring her needs.
I forgive my mother for making me to blame for her lack of self love and happiness.
I forgive myself for believing her and feeling guilty and not good enough.
I forgive all humanity for forgetting to Love.
I forgive us all for not loving ourselves.
I forgive us for forgetting to fully love and appreciate mother Earth and the bounty she provides.
I forgive us all for neglecting to fully love and appreciate one another.
I forgive  the lack of Love expressed in this world.
I choose to fully and freely Love everyone today, including myself.
I choose to give my very best to everyone, including myself.
I choose to be enthusiastic and appreciative in receiving the Love I am given.
I choose to feel blessed as I share the blessing I Am.
I choose to be a gift of Love all the time with my thoughts, my words and my activities.

I am loving you and me always and all ways,  

Betty Lue

Try this 30 day program below and see the miracles of healing and reconciliation it creates!
30 Days to Healing and Seeing things Differently!This exercise has a profound impact on how we see and live our lives.
This daily practice will heal and transform your life
With continued practice, there will be miracles of healing and release.
Forgiveness heals our perception and gives us Response-Ability.
Choice empowers us to Create our Experience Consciously.
Gratitude expands what we Choose and increases our Joy.

Daily Practice:Begin each morning with a pad of lined paper and a pen.
Write and say 30 forgivenesses as they come to mind.
Simply write “I forgive”…and let the rest just come from within.
(No need to understand or feel anything.)
I forgive you for being mean.
I forgive myself for letting anyone hurt me.
I forgive my body’s limitation.
I forgive myself for being late.
I forgive everything.
Make the sound “AAAH” for 1-2 minutes.Imagine that you are opening your mind.
Now write and say 30 Choices. I choose to be happy.
I choose to be free.
I choose to do what I love.
I choose to forgive….
In the Evening (before bed)Write and say 30 GratitudesI appreciate the energy I have.
I love being happy.
I am grateful I have you in my life.
I thank God.
Make the  sound “OM”  the Universal sound for Love and God for 1-2 minutes.
PS Even a few of each is better than none.
Do what you can and trust it is working.

Loving You always, 

Betty Lue

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Thoughts Create and Responsibility

Yesterday morning, I wrote down these six topics to write for Loving Reminders for the next six days.
Yesterday afternoon, I experienced a composite demonstration of all six.  Amazing and true.
I was about to write about handling challenges. I realize as I reread my thoughts they all apply.
My thoughts create and I am responsible.

Ideas for Loving Reminders
1.    Take responsibility for your life.  Stop Blaming others.

2.    Appreciate your creations.  Learn from mistakes or miscreations. Enjoy valued creations.

3.    The lower your vibration, the more ineffective you are in transforming your relationships.

4.    Give yourself the love, trust and respect you deserve and others will learn from you.

5.    Keep your mind , your home, your life clear of debris from the past. And you will be filled with space to create anew.
6.     Everyday in everyway do what it takes to be truly helpful and kind.

Story of Awarenesses.I was with grandchildren in Alameda yesterday with temp of 93 degrees and no air conditioning. My vibration was low and I was hot.  Alameda is on the bay and usually no higher than 75 degrees. #3- My vibration (energy level was low).

We were taking a nap, I thought I heard noises downstairs and granddaughter said she was afraid to go down to kitchen for a snack by herself. I believe someone may have come in the side door and taken my daytimer calender (thinking it was my wallet.) Two young men had come to the door earlier selling cleaning services and rang the bell (twice) while we were napping.  I sent them away with an irritated tone. (“We have no carpet and no furniture to clean!) #6- I was not helpful and kind in the moment, as I attempted to give our family the quiet time needed.

Later I found my daytimer missing out of my purse. Hoped it was at home on the desk, and checked everywhere I went to Lila’s ballet class and Starbucks and looked in both our car and their van, hoping it was not missing.
I affirmed it being found and returned. 
#4 I love trust and respect my learning and teaching.

I forgave those who may have taken it.
Went back and forgave myself for not being aware and respectful. 
#1 I take responsibility

Recognized that my purse had too much stuff in it to be more aware quickly. #5 Clear debris.

Remembered thoughts I had had about cleaning my purse, clening up my business and appt. scheduling,

Recognized that I had left the car door open at one point getting change for parking meter.
Realized how important it is not to let people steal or think it is OK to use and not pay for services.
Worked through the night giving it all to God, Highest Good, to be used for healing and awareness for all concerned. 
#2 I learned and I value my creations that I can share for the Good of All.

Now at peace and in trust with how I created this for my expanded awareness, daily practice and willingness to rise spiritually to the challenges that I create for my own growth.
I have remembered 100% of my October schedule and now confirming with my many clients.
I will easily redo my telephone numbers in a new book and can remember my next year’s calendar of retreats, conferences kid’s vacations and programs, etc.Most from memory.

The learning from this are far more than I have shared here.
I practiced seeing things differently.
I trust in the perfect learning for all concerned.
I affirm forgiveness and renewal and conscious choices for everyone.
I recognize my own inbuilt mental computer is amazing.
I celebrate all that I learned.
I appreciate how I react, forgive myself, respond with love and blessings in the face of challenges.

Life is good.
And so am I.
Thanks for being my learning, healing, forgiving, creating partners.
Betty Lue