Learn to Love!

Affirmations:

The only mistake we ever make is when we forget to Love.

I choose to Love and be happy.

I forgive all lack of Love and choose to Love again.

I Love myself and others no matter what.

Do You Know How to Love?

Do you know how best to love yourself?

Do you know how to love your children?

Do you know how to love your parents?

Do you know how to love a partner?

Do you know how to love your friends?

We talk about love as though everyone should know how to Love.

We act like we understand what love is and what love does.

We communicate as though others should love us, if we love them.

We seem to focus on love being something we all should be able to do successfully.

And yet, it seems Love hurts.

What we call Love, makes us vulnerable.

What we call Love, breaks our heart.

What we call Love gets taken away.

True Love heals.

True Love strengthens.

True Love encourages.

True Love is lasts.

So how can this “Love” be the opposite?

With worldly Love there is specialness and attachment.

With worldly Love, there is dependency and neediness.

With world Love, there is fear and limitation.

With addiction, attachment and neediness, people depend on it for life itself.

With special love for just one person, some may feel demanding and threatened.

With emotional ecstatic highs and devastating lows, people may become addicted to the drama.

With possessiveness and demands for control, many feel fear and restriction.

Love gives because Love is our natural state.

Love expands and gives more in its giving.

Love fills us with more Love and joy and inspiration.

Love sets us free to be all that we can be and more.

Love comes from a wellspring within.

Love flows freely and overflows as we share even more.

Love offers happiness and inner peace.

Forgiveness opens the flow of love.

Without Love or limiting the flow of Love, you may feel sick, disheartened and depressed.

Open the flow again by finding something or someone to Love.

Love your pet.

Love music and art.

Love strangers with smiles.

Love with prayer for those in need.

Do something loving and kind for those around you.

Create something beautiful and good.

Sing happy songs to yourself.

Write notes of gratitude.

Clean out parts of your mind or environment that you cannot love.

Give Love and let it show with dance, song, art, words, gratitude and more.

We must remember Love is our natural state.

With unconditional and unlimited Love, we return to Wholeness, Happiness and Peace.

Remember to Love…..no matter what!

Betty Lue

HEALING THE FEAR

What can you do to heal the fear in yourself, in your community and in the world?

Fear contracts.                        Love expands.

Fear withholds.                       Love shares.

Fear defends.                          Love is open.

Fear judges.                            Love appreciates.

Fear condemns.                      Love forgives.

Fear separates.                        Love joins.

Fear acts out.                          Love responds.

Fear withdraws.                      Love reaches out.

Fear shuts down.                    Love opens up.

Fear argues.                            Love listens.                 

Fear excludes.                         Love includes.

Fear worries.                          Love blesses.

Fear justifies.                          Love trusts.         

Fear is stingy.                         Love is generous.

Fear is pushy.                         Love is patient.     

Fear can be cruel.                  Love is kind.        

Fear is suspicious.                  Love trusts.

Fear demands.                        Love guides.        

Fear cowers.                            Love is courageous.

Fear takes care of  its own.    Love is helpful to all.

Fear distorts our thinking.     Love sees clearly. 

Fear speaks of wrongs.           Love speaks of value.

Often fear makes us sick at heart and sick in body.

Often fear shuts down our ability to think, feel and act for Good.

Often fear limits our healthy appropriate responses.

Each of us is called to manage, forgive, heal and release the fear in our lives.

What can you do to handle your fear and to help others with theirs?

Betty Lue Lieber, Ph.D.  Creative Solutions

3496 Buskirk Ave, Suite 103, Pleasant Hill, CA 94523  800-919-2392

Helpfulness

Affirmations;

I am inspired to be truly helpful.

To serve another is to serve ourselves.

Love is the answer whatever the request.

Life is for Giving and I Am the Gift.

Are You Truly Helpful?

When we give what we genuinely want to receive, we can be helpful.

When we give what we think they need, we may be judging.

When we give what we hope will fix or change them, we may be interfering.

When we give what we are inspired to share without expectation, we will be caring.

The fine points of helpfulness are intertwined with beliefs, opinions, past history and experience. Parent and child helpfulness can be meddling.

Husband and wife helpfulness can be nagging.

Co-worker or neighbor helpfulness can be showing off.

Every form of helping can be construed in different ways by every recipient.

Some people feel loved and valued when someone helps.

Some people feel irritated and interfered with help.

Some people ignore and resist being helped.

Whether adult or child, needing help or not, everyone reacts or responds differently.

We all have experiences where help is not helpful.

We each have times when others try to fix or change us.

We may have experienced that helpfulness comes from a need to control.

Whether helper or recipient, we need to respect whether help is truly helpful.

We need to communicate what is wanted and what is not helpful.

We need to appreciate the positive thoughts in being helpful.

We need to enjoy the connection of compassion and kindness.

Before being helpful, consider if you would want the same.

“In this situation, would I appreciate someone helping me?”

Before proceeding with trying to be helpful, ask for permission.

“ May I help you?”

Before judging that the help you want to give is truly helpful, ask.

“I would like to …..   Would that be helpful to you?”

Before  offering, ask if the helpfulness is coming from a judgmental perspective.

“ Are you helping in a way that empowers or disempowers the other?”

Too often, parents, partners and well-meaning friends interfere without asking permission.

Often people ignore and step away from caring and sharing because they don’t know what to do.

Sometimes, people overdo, sacrifice and martyr themselves in doing for others and create guilt.

There are those who need to help, care, and do for their own self esteem and peace of mind.

Consider if your caring and helpfulness are coming from Love, Trust and Freedom or from Fear.

Consider if you believe and trust the other or distrust and want to control the recipient.

Pay attention to your intention in helping, advising, fixing or making decisions for others.

Be willing to listen to what others really want and may be afraid to request.

Suggestions for Helpfulness:

1) Wait until clearly asked or invited to help.

2) Provide privacy and confidentiality and clarify any limitations.

3) Listen for exactly what is wanted: Listening, advice, information, compassion or spiritual support.

4) Set a specific time frame for the sharing and helping.

4) Request feedback in gratitude, compensation, application to life rather than being disregarded.

Remember to give time and energy to those who receive with respect and gratitude.

All I give is given to myself.

Loving to help, serve, guide, inspire and encourage.

Betty Lue

Helping, Fixing, Serving

--by Rachel Remen (May 29, 2000)


Service is not the same as helping. 

Helping is based on inequality, it's not a relationship between equals. When you help, you use your own strength to help someone with less strength. It's a one up, one down relationship, and people feel this inequality. When we help, we may inadvertently take away more than we give, diminishing the person's sense of self-worth and self-esteem.
Now, when I help I am very aware of my own strength, but we don't serve with our strength, we serve with ourselves. We draw from all our experiences: our wounds serve, our limitations serve, even our darkness serves. The wholeness in us serves the wholeness in the other, and the wholeness in life. Helping incurs debt: when you help someone, they owe you. But service is mutual. When I help I have a feeling of satisfaction, but when I serve I have a feeling of gratitude.

Serving is also different from fixing. We fix broken pipes, we don't fix people. When I set about fixing another person, it's because I see them as broken. 
Fixing is a form of judgment that separates us from one another; it creates a distance.


So, fundamentally, helping, fixing and serving are ways of seeing life. When you help, you see life as weak; when you fix, you see life as broken; and when you serve, you see life as whole.

When we serve in this way, we understand that this person's suffering is also my suffering, that their joy is also my joy and then the impulse to serve arises naturally - our natural wisdom and compassion presents itself quite simply. A server knows that they're being used and has the willingness to be used in the service of something greater. 
We may help or fix many things in our lives, but when we serve, we are always in the service of wholeness.

--Rachel Remen, from Zen Hospice 

Is it Love?

Affirmations:

I Love without condition or limit.

Love fills me and sets me free.

When all is forgiven, there is only Love.

I welcome Love, trust and freedom into my life.

(Written in response to someone suffering in the pain of special Love.)

What Is Love?

Does Love worry?

Is Love afraid?

Does Love limit?

Is Love jealous?

Seems to me that FEAR worries and distrusts.

It seems contradictory that love would restrict or be jealous.

Love is trust and freedom.

Love is safe and happy and free.

Love may feel like a dream, an illusion.

When we fully love, it feels so good and just right.

Love is our natural state.

Innocent love is fun, safe and easy.

However, most people are in fear.

In fear, there is no room for love.

In fear, there is often a fear of drowning or disappearing in love.

In fear, there is a pervasive fear of becoming weak and vulnerable in love.

We all desire (under the fear) the place of joy and peace to rest in endless love.

Yet fear can hold its grip on us, while we are in the world of temporary relationships.

With intermittent love from others, we develop a fear of what is not lasting.

We yearn for something real and eternal, a safe place to trust and be free.

When we seek Love from personalities, we may be disappointed.

When we look for Love from those who are in fear, we will receive their fear.

When we find others lacking in Love, we will come to realize our own conditional love.

Just know when there is fear or lack in another, it is always a call for love.

Everything in this world changes over time……even human Love.

Relationships, commitments, feelings, personalities, bodies…..everything changes.

When we demand that human Love stays the same, we are setting up for disappointment.

To Love another is to give Love, respect, patience, forgivness to another.

I choose to stay in Love.

I forgive myself for being hurt by another’s lack of Love.

I trust that Love is always enough.

I choose to never quit on Love.

I choose to Love, no matter what!

Love is our natural state.

We were created in Love, by Love, as Love, for the purpose of Loving.

When not in Love, something is mistaken.

Loving you, 

Betty Lue

Coming to Know

To “know” is to “love”.

For when we fully know, we have an experience of acceptance, understanding, trust and love.  

In working with this list of levels of consciousness, we can easily substitute “love” for “know”.

Perhaps, for some, this will simplify and clarify where you are in your own unfoldment process.

These are stages of spiritual development and understanding.  (Where are you?)

·  I don’t know and don’t know I don’t know.

·  I don’t know and don’t care.

·  I don’t know and don’t want to know.

·  I don’t know and wish I did.

·  I don’t know and seek to know.

·  I am coming to know.

·  I know and am afraid of what I know.

·  I know and am afraid I don’t.

·  I know and hold back what I know.

·  I know and share what I know in order to know.

·  I know and know I know quietly.

·  I am what I know.

With a little substitution of “Love” for “Know”:

·  I don’t love and don’t know I don’t love.

·  I don’t love and don’t care.

·  I don’t love and don’t want to love.

·  I don’t love and wish I did.

·  I don’t love and seek to love.

·  I am coming to Love.

·  I Love and am afraid of Love.

·  I Love and am afraid I don’t.

·  I Love and hold back my Love.

·  I Love and share Love to realize my Love.

·  I Love and share Love quietly.

·  I am Love.

Call to Joy!

Affirmations:

I choose to be happy and free.

I choose to see all things differently.

I choose to go the way of Love.

I choose to follow the path of delight.

What Path Do You Follow?

This morning in my writing, my inner guidance, I was reminded to Follow the Path of Joy!

“Go where you experience joy and light.

Enter into the house of love and peace,

Lift up your voice to laughter and singing.

When life takes you down, look up.

Life is your calling—Live well and prosper.

Take time to celebrate and innovate.

Be free in Spirit and full of Gratitude.

Allow grace to guide you as you look into the face of God.

Your holy work is healing work.

To be healing, you must make happy and bring peace.

Give Love and let it show.

Give Love and let it grow.

Give Love and you will know,

Doing what comes naturally.”

(A song I wrote yrs ago. Substitute Joy and peace.)

It takes so little to give ourselves the love and light we really want.

When we are aware, we can step away from fear and darkness.

As we consciously choose the joyful ways to live, we remember.

As we consistently choose loving ways to give, we enjoy our lives.

We each and all deserve a life of all good and only good.

We need not stay in the dark and hope for the light to come.

We need not try to change others ways to be happy and free.

We can come to our own choice and raise our own voice.

Life choices are made individually.

We can choose our own path to follow.

We can sing our own song and happy way.

We can live our own lives following the light within us.

When we contemplate staying where we are, ask what is our highest calling?

When we listen within to the inner child, the innocent one, what does he or she really want?

When we long for love and light, a peaceful and restful night, where do we go?

When we set ourselves free, how can we see things differently and live our own truth?

Life is our choice everyday.

We can choose the happy way of love or the unhappy ways of fear.

We can choose to free ourselves to move or get mired in fear and dependence.

We can let go and allow only Goodness or hang on and wait for winning the lottery.

Be free.

Be happy.

Choose wisely.

Live in Love.

Betty Lue

There is a Facebook page for my daily Loving Reminders!

If you have not received it through email, please go to my Facebook page at:

<http://www.facebook.com/bettylueslovingreminders>  and should see the daily posting.

Don't for get to like the page!

Did you know all the Centers have Facebook pages?? 

Forgiveness

Affirmations:

I easily and quickly forgive all judgments.

I know my judgments mean nothing.

I allow my open heart and mind to hear the call for love.

I freely give only love and joy and peace.

What Is The Point of Forgiving?

Forgiving people or situations is merely clearing one’s perspective to see what is true.

Forgiving is dropping the guilt and blame, fear and pain, to feel what is real.

Forgiveness changes the canvas on which we can create a new future.

Forgiveness frees the mind from darkness, despair, disappointment and distraction.

Forgiveness is an eraser filled with love.

Forgiveness empties the mind and fills it with light.

Forgiveness interrupts the unconscious patterns of guilt and shame, resentment and blame.

Forgiveness heals the wounds and creates all things new.

Forgiveness is complete when there is no memory.

Forgiveness relinquishes all attack and returns to innocence.

Forgiveness opens the doors to defenselessness and trust.

Forgiveness is the fearless guardian of our heart.

When is it time to forgive?

Forgive when you are haunted by repeating memories.

Forgive when you feel anxiety, judgment and fear.

Forgive when you know not what to do.

Forgive to feel safe and sleep well.

Forgive to find profound and pervasive inner peace.

Forgive to allow love to flow without condition.

Forgive to let go and let Goodness guide you.

Forgive yourself for letting anything hurt you.

Forgive yourself for letting anyone block your love.

Forgive yourself for allowing other to interfere with your direction.

Forgive yourself for being afraid to make a positive difference.

Forgive yourself for letting fear and judgment take over.

Forgive yourself for withholding honest communication.

Forgive yourself for not standing up for what is right.

Forgive yourself for being afraid to love again.

Forgive yourself for abandoning who you are.

Forgive yourself for not calling forth right action.

Forgive yourself for being a victim in your life.

Forgive yourself for letting others make your choices.

The point of forgiving is to set free and get free.

The point of forgiving is to clear the fear and judgment.

The point of forgiving is to remember Love and return to Wholeness.

The point of forgiving is to be All You Are and Follow Your Calling.

Forgiving myself for forgetting to Love. always and only Love!

Betty Lue

Practice Forgiveness Daily!

30 Days to Healing and Seeing things Differently!

This exercise has a profound impact on how we see and live our lives.

This daily practice will heal and transform your life

With continued practice, there will be a spiritual awakening.

Forgiveness heals our perception and gives us Response-Ability.

Choice empowers us to Create our Experience Consciously.

Gratitude expands what we Choose and increases our Joy.

Daily Practice:

Begin each morning with a pad of lined paper and a pen.

Write and say 30 forgivenesses as they come to mind.

Simply write “I forgive”…and let the rest just come from within.

(No need to understand or feel anything.)

I forgive you for being mean.

I forgive myself for letting anyone hurt me.

I forgive my body’s limitation.

I forgive myself for being late.

I forgive everything.

Make the sound “AAAH” for 1minutes.

Imagine that you are opening your mind.

Now write and say 30 Choices.

I choose to be happy.

I choose to be free.  

I choose to do what I love.

I choose to forgive….

In the Evening (before bed)

Write and say 30 Gratitudes

I appreciate the energy I have.

I love being happy.

I am grateful I have you in my life.

I thank God.

Make the  sound “OM” the Universal sound for Love and God for 1 minute.

PS Even a few of each is better than none.  

Do what you can and trust it is working.

Even when you are driving to work, you can do this process aloud.

The key is your willingness to DO THE WORK!

Loving You always, 

Betty Lue