Monday, December 07, 2015

Remember Love!

Affirmations:
I remember how wonderful it feels to simply Love.
I love being loving and respectful and kind.
I love being inspired everyday to love even more.
I love sharing all the Love I have inside.

(Five Languages of Love and Fear below)

Do You Know How to Love?

Do you remember what love is?
Do you understand how to love you?
Do you allow yourself to love others?
Do you show and share your love?

Love inspires others to love.
Love sets us all free to fully express love.
Love encourages us to open our heart to freely share our love.
Love enjoys loving and being loved fully and freely.

Love may be saying, “I love you” or giving a loving touch or hug.
Love may be creating a good meal or happy surprise.
Love may be doing something truly helpful for another.
Love can be sitting quietly sharing some special time.

Love may be cleaning up after another when they are tired.
Love may be sending affirming and healing prayer to another.
Love may be thinking good thoughts about times gone by.
Love may be playing a game of cards or reading to another.

Love can be a simple note or phone call just when inspired.
Love can be offering a cup of tea and sitting by the fire.
Love can be cleaning a room or making the bed.
Love can be writing, drawing, singing or creating something beautiful.

Love may look like a genuine smile or a carefree wink.
Love may be unseen or unnoticed by the recipient.
Love may be a gift that you just want to give with all your heart.
Love may be responding to a request or even given anonymously.

Love can be a note in the lunchbox or cookies in the cookie jar.
Love can be a clean house with their special meal on the table.
Love can be the way you say “hello” and listen to what they say.
Love can be turning off the TV and cell phone and just being there.

You will find when you are willing to really Love, you feel good!
You will see that it doesn’t matter to have love come back to you.
You will understand that love asks nothing in return.
Love comes from the heart and is given without conditions or expectations.

Remember to love without jokes or making it embarrassing.
Remember to love just the way you want to feel loved.
Remember to give love that is genuine, without pretense.
Remember to forgive all the ways you have forgotten or neglected Love.

I AM Loving you everyday with everything I think and do and say.
I Love You!
Betty Lue

Whatever is not Love is always a call for Love.  

When you have loved you well, you will always respond to others fear and lack of Love, with the Love in you!! 



The 5 Languages of Fear
or
The 5 Calls for Love

An intuitive look at some possible explanations for unacceptable behavior.
According to A Course in Miracles, everything is either a gift of love or a call for love. The 5 Languages of Love (Dr. Gary Chapman) teach us more about how to effectively give and receive the gifts of love, but what about responding to the calls for love? The answer is always to “give love”, but that is only possible after we have stopped reacting to the call as a personal attack.
The first step is awareness. 
Awareness with love is healing.
When people are in fear or pain (and needing love), they are not always sensitive, aware, articulate, considerate or even caring. They will either see you as the cause of their current dilemma or just a handy (loving) person they can strike out at so they won’t be alone in their misery. They will either deprive you of what they know you value most or what they, themselves, value most.


Here are 5 possible disguises of the call for love.

1.    The Put-Down—This includes complaining, anger, blame, guilt, insults, destructive words. If Words of Affirmation are a primary love language for you, hearing someone else’s pain directed at you can be especially hurtful.

2.    The Cold Shoulder—This includes being pre-occupied, too busy, multi-tasking, distracted, walking away, ignoring, threatening to leave or end the relationship, shutting you out. If Quality Time is a primary love language for you, being left alone or abandoned can be devastating.

3.    The Take-Away—This includes taking or breaking things, stealing, constantly saying “We can’t afford it”, not giving or sharing, being selfish. If Receiving Gifts is a primary love language for you, being deprived will be hurtful way out of proportion to the value of the actual gift itself.

4.    The Complication—This includes forgetting to do things, being too busy to help out, refusing to help out, being destructive, making messes, causing problems, adding complications and making more work. If Acts of Service are a primary love language for you, the burden of having to do more or do it all yourself leaves you feeling hurt and resentful.

5.    The Hurt—This includes hitting, hurting, outside affairs and cheating, withholding/denying touch and affection, and all acts of physical violence. If Physical Touch is a primary love language for you, either destructive touching or touch deprivation can cause you to emotionally wither and want to withdraw from the world.

Keys to responding with love:


1.    Don’t take it personally. It’s not about you. It’s about them. If you take it personally, they may think it actually is about you and fail to (eventually) take responsibility for their condition.

2.    Take care of yourself. You may need to actually remove yourself from the situation in order to stop getting hurt and to get clear. If you let them hurt you, you create either conscious or unconscious guilt on their part, which will cause them to either attack more vigorously or withdraw completely.

3.    Listen within for guidance. Once you can bring yourself to peace and neutrality, listen to your heart about how to respond. This is clearly a call for love. What does the other person actually need or want? What will be the most helpful and the most easily received by them. Sometimes love and forgiveness is best expressed in person and sometimes it is more effective from a distance. Do you need to speak, write, think, pray, act?

4.    Do what you hear and trust it is good. Get on with your life and keep loving yourself so you can continue to love others.

Robert Waldon, Feb. 2012

The 5 Love Languages—Dr. Gary Chapman

What if you could say or do just the right thing guaranteed to make that special someone feel loved? The secret is learning the right love language! Millions of couples have learned the simple way to express their feelings and bring joy back into marriage: The 5 Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman’s New York Times bestseller!

Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.