Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Disappointed, Discouraged or Upset?

Whatever upset we experience is a wakeup call.
All lack of happiness is a signal we are off purpose.

If we numb our upset with drugs, addictions, busyness  or temporary fixes, we ignore the call.
If we seek short term gratification and never get to the bottom of our need, we miss the point.
If we blame someone else, we distract ourselves and delay our attention to choosing again.
If we feel ashamed or guilty and give up, we are quitting on our own happiness and success.

Are you appreciating what you have?
Are you clear about what makes you happy?
Do you know what works in your life?
Are you free to make your own choices?
Have you been following someone else’s lead?
Do you listen to your own heart and conscience?
Are you open to finding a different part to play?
Do you trust your inner guidance and spiritual direction?
Are you a passenger in life, taking tickets or driving the bus?
If you are flying the plane, the high and fast way, does your destination please you?
Do you have an inspired life that fills your heart with joy, your mind with ease and energizes your body?
Do you see the amazing and diverse choices before you?
Are you distracted by what others have and do and make?
Do you detour or delay your own plans and visions with the complexity of worldly choices?
Do you take 100% responsibility for your failures and successes?
Are you willing to ask for help when you need it?
Do you easily forgive others mistakes and your own?
Do you learn quickly and easily and make course corrections as they are needed?
Are you resilient and flexible, bouncing back to try again, seeking a better way, until you succeed?

  • Forgive yourself quickly and choose again for a better way.
  • Forgive others easily and offer to help.
  • Respond to every upset…yours or theirs…. with the respect and kindness that you would like.
  • Give everyone the benefit of doubting your judgments.
  • Acknowledge that you do not know (nor do they) or you would have done better.
  • Respect the learning process. 
  • Correct no one except yourself.
Remember it only takes one to make the difference and YOU ARE THAT ONE!

When someone else is upset, what do they want?

  • Don’t guess or assume you know.
  • Don’t take it personally and react or defend.
  • Don’t make up it is the same for everyone.
  • Ask how you can help with respect and love.
  • Pay attention to what they say.
  • Don’t try to fix or make it go away.
  • Take the time to listen and respond with what is wanted.
  • Trust in the process for each one of us is learning to find better ways to live and love.
  • Give your best all the time.

Loving me and you as we all seek to find a better way to relate and communicate,
Betty Lue
Keys to Successful Relationships
Joining-Create a common vision or shared goal.
Honesty- Communicate your true intention without secrets or withholds.
Equality-Each is giving the best they know in each moment.
Commitment- Agree to what is highest and best for both parties.
Responsibility- Be able and willing to respond consciously to all relationship needs without guilt or blame.   Be respectful and forgiving of mistakes made.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Our World

What is our world coming to?
Look closer and you will see, we are waiting for you!

Your blessings are needed now.
Not your cursing and condemnation.
Not your fear and victimization
Not your anger and your pain.
Not your wish to be gone.

Your blessings are needed now.

Benefit you and everyone.
Give what you have and enjoy the fun.
Laugh at your fears and enjoy your gain.
See life as it is without comparison.

Everyday blessings are needed.

Get in the habit.
Bless your food, your water.
Bless the air you breathe,
Bless your home and where you rest at night.
Bless your family and your friends as they are.
Bless your expenses and your income, every penny.
Bless the love and appreciation you give and receive.
Bless the sun and the light, the moon and the night.
Bless everything you see and you will see differently.

Bless everyone and everything, and what is revealed are the blessings you give.
Bless the world you see and you will see the world differently.
Your blessings transform your thoughts, your words, your perceptions.
Miracles of healing and transformation come from the creative power of love.

Condemn no one and you will stop condemning yourself.
Judge not one and you will open your heart to create healing with your love.
Clear your own fear and drama and you will free to world to know more peace.
Forgive your negative thinking, hateful words and destructive habits.

It is our own work that frees our world.
It is our own inner world to cleanse and transform.
It is our mind to open to revealing delight.
It is our heart to heal with love shining bright.

Each one of us has our own work to do.
To change all bad habits into something true.
When we have awakened from our own bad dreams,
We will live and love and give our best to all.

Give your blessing, and you will see it is You who are blessed!
Betty Lue

Monday, August 29, 2011

What is Your Part?

Do you know Who You Are?
Do you understand why you are here?
Are you willing to play your part to stop the insanity?
What are you willing to stop, forgive, undo and release for the good of All people, all time, all creation?

 Are you willing to bless, until we see the light?
Are you willing to stop cursing and condemning and blocking delight?
Are you open to prospering all?
Are you aware and grateful of the prosperity that already is?

When we cannot see the Good in our lives, it is because we have chosen to look away from the light.
When we do not believe in a Higher Power, it is because we have given allegiance to the lower powers.
When we cannot see the beauty under the ugliness in our world, it is because we hold it in consciousness.
When we give undo attention to the makers of greed, lust and war, it only encourages their insane desires.

We can bring the Light in our words, in our touch, in our creations of Love.
We can offer hope in our blessings, our prayers, our contributions and our caring
We can choose again to be friends of those we named foes.
We can start healing as we reveal how we rewound ourselves with constant resentment and blame.

It is our learned defense to step away from what we fear.
We have not understood it is our blessing that is needed.
The needy seek the blessing of know they can have what they want.
The hungry need only to satisfy their hunger and thirst.

We can choose to give what is needed.
We can prosper another with what satisfies their pain.
We can demonstrate the blessing of giving.
We can be the ones to celebrate our family by sharing our fortune.

And so it is, we reclaim the Real creation, a heavenly earth where all are loved and blessed the same.

When we are invited to listen within, it is because the mind blocks the light.
Our thoughts limit our Love.
Our body’s desires and cravings call us away from the Truth.
When we listen in silence to the Voice of Love within, we know Who We Are and How to Begin.

Take time to listen each day.
Write down the words you hear and let Love have its play.
You are here to bring the Light of your Joy and the Love in your Heart.
This is the gift you bring…it is your Holy Part!

Blessing us all as we learn to play our healing part all the time and return to Love.
Betty Lue

(What is the world coming to? Look closer and you will see, it is you we are waiting for!)
What is your part to play in these changing times?

This is a time of new beginnings. We have all been going through a purging process that has pushed to the surface everything in our lives that is not serving our highest good. This necessary cleansing process is often confusing and sometimes even overwhelming, but we have no other option than to walk through it. We are not being given the luxury of ignoring our dysfunctional relationships and our negative situations any longer. If we try to, more painful things surface to get our attention and to motivate us into action. This awakening process is being orchestrated by our God Selves, which is the Divinity within us that is always striving to move us forward in the Light. If we want the insanity to stop, we must remember who we are and why we are here. By Patricia Diane Cota-Robles 2011

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Bless and Prosper!

This is a part of my talk at Unity Center for Inspired Living this morning.
You can listen to all our Sunday messages at under Past talks.

Those, who are willing to bless others, will prosper.
Those, who are willing to prosper others, will be blessed.

Blessings are very practical, because they teach and attract blessings.
Blessings transform negative thinking into positive affirmation.
Blessings propose health, happiness and prosperity to others.
Blessings changes my energy to that of giving, rather than getting.

When I have a blessing consciousness, I focus on flowing Good.
When I have a judging consciousness, I focus on criticism, comparison and condemnation.
When I bless, I inspire, encourage, nurture what is desirable and conducive to success.
When I curse, I depress, diminish, deplete, and deprive, leading to limitation and failure.

Using my will to bless others generates more blessings for myself and my world.
Everything I think is teaching everyone everywhere.
When I teach with blessings, I empower others to forgive and suspend all other thoughts.
When I share my blessings, I prosper others with the Goodness I generate.

The more I bless and prosper myself, the more I bless and prosper others.
The more I bless and prosper myself, the more others bless and prosper themselves.
The more I bless and prosper myself, the more others bless and prosper me.
The more I bless and prosper myself, the more others bless and prosper others.

In the will to bless and prosper, I have generated a world of blessings and prosperity.
In my choice to bless and prosper, I have created the world I want to be.
In my decision to bless and prosper, I have made a difference which benefits all.
As I create a world filled with blessings and prosperity, everyone is touched with Good.

May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May the Good within me bless you and prosper you.
May the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you.

May I look upon you with gratitude and joy, as I behold your Holiness.
May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.

May I see you with forgiving eyes and remind you of the piece of Good You Are.

Bless you brothers and sisters, as we walk this Earth together.
May you know sun is always shining even on cloudy days.
May you follow the path that fills you always with Love and Peace.
May you realize your blessedness, as you bless others along the way.

Giving is give always what you want to receive!
Betty Lue

The Gift You Are

You are the gift.
In your healing, I am healed.
In your smiling, I find joy.
In your learning, I am filled with wisdom.
In your free expressions, I am empowered.
In your abundance, I too prosper.
In your spontaneity, I am set free.
In your joy, I know heaven.

And so it is that you give your Self to me
And I receive you with love and gratitude.
I am the gift I give to You
And I fully receive the gift I freely give.

As I know You, I know my Self.
As I give to you, I receive all good.
As I support you, I am supported by the Universe.
As I honor and respect you, I experience gratitude in all my being.
As I love you, I am loving all of God's creation.

I know you and believe in you.
I honor, respect and support you in being.
In you and me is all the Universe.
We are gifts to one another.

       - Betty Lue

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Letting Go Brings Peace

Attachment is the source of all suffering.
When we cling to what is not ours to possess, brings pain.
When we try to make something be what it is not, we feel disappointed.
When we hold on to what is a fantasy or wish, we cause ourselves sorrow.

Letting go is a gift of love.

Letting go offers freedom to ourselves and others.
Letting go comes from trust in what is.
Letting go releases fear and pain and resentment.

Letting go of past negative memories frees our hearts to love again.

Letting go of unhealthy addictions opens choices for the highest good.
Letting go of excess accumulation of stuff creates the space to enjoy what we have.
Letting go of limiting beliefs and false expectations sets us free to appreciate the Good that is.

Letting go lightens our mind.  
Letting go opens our heart.
Letting go expands our peace.
Letting go is a gift to ourselves.

When we let go, we open opportunity for choosing a better way.

When we let go, we strengthen our trust in the Divine.
When we let go, we allow others to take responsibility for their own choices.
When we let go, we learn to believe in a Higher Power.

Can you release the past…all of it?

What is good for you stays, when you release it all.

Can you undo thoughts and feelings that are unkind and condemning?

When you do, you will receive the bountiful blessings, the gifts of healing, awareness and love.

Can you forgive what you have judged and feared?

When we erase with Love, what is left is the beauty and blessing.

Can you laugh at the fear thoughts and give away all the pain?

What you know it pure love and the ability to love fully again.

Life with attachment becomes the burden of heaviness and struggle and problems.
Life with freedom becomes the joy of lightness, easy living and flow.
When we can easily let go, we know that “Life is fun, safe and easy."

Loving you and letting go with a laugh of happiness and blessing of gratitude.
Betty Lue

Friday, August 26, 2011

Make A Difference

Each one, young and old, rich and poor, educated and not, is touching, teaching and reaching all.
Everyone of us, whether we know it or not is creating the world in which we all live and love.
Everyone, everywhere is making a difference to human consciousness and its imaginings.
Our thoughts teach other minds. Our words are heard by others hearts.  Our actions create.

Bless the food you eat.

It benefits the farmer, the distributor, the grocer, the cook and you.
Bless the air you breathe.

It makes air quality more important, more conscious and more important to those who breathe.

It is only with our awareness that we can reveal what is needed.
It is with our awareness and non judgment that we can heal.
It is with our attention that we bless or condemn.
It is our choice to prosper with our blessings or destroy with our condemnation.

Awareness with love is healing.
Awareness with fear gets us stuck with what we fear.
Awareness with peace is revealing.
Awareness with conflict and anger sticks around with increased energy.

When we want to make a positive difference to others, bless them and proper them.
When we want to improve the quality of our own lives, we benefit ourselves by blessing others.
When we want to prosper our world, we live in integrity with what we have sharing with others.
When we want to bless others lives, we abundantly give our gratitude for qualities we choose to increase.

It takes little to give thanks and the harvest is Abundant.
It takes little to smile and encourage another, and the benefits are bountiful to all.
It takes little to contribute to causes that proper many in their outreach, and it creates prosperity in our world.
It takes little to bless the sick and needy, the grieving and discomforted, the lonely and lost, and it fills our world with kindness and Good.

Do no harm.

How our world would change if we did no harm to all living creatures!
Love everyone equally.

How humanity would transform if we blessed and prospered everyone equally.
Give your best.

How happy we will be when we choose what brings us joy.
Erase all hurt and remember only the blessings.

How rich our life will be when we hold memories only of gratitude and joy.

Bless and prosper everyone all the time and you will bless and prosper yourself.
With profound gratitude and respect for you and the blessed part you play in our world,
Betty Lue

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Are You the One?

We are at the Lake House Retreat for “Grandparents’ Summer Camp with three Grandchildren, twins girls going into first grade and brother going into kindergarten.  High energy, confidence and self esteemed all three.  They are mightily loved, listened to and nurtured by all their care-givers. While they may be a lot to fully be with, the happy loving and expressive little people they are is a joy!
*Hope you join us here for a retreat for yourself alone or with loved ones.
You may be here with us as facilitators or on your own.
Lots to do and you can use the beauty and silence to renew.

Are You the One?

When all is said and done, are you the One willing to do whatever it takes to bring Peace?
When no one else knows what to do, are you the One trying something helpful and new?
When the discussion is over and feeling are hurt, are you the One willing to make amends?
When no one cares and people are wronged, are you the One who will make things right?

It takes no pride and sometimes courage, to be the One who will bring the Love.
It requires your willingness with ego set aside to apologize to make things right.
It asks of you that you listen within, follow your heart, and find a new beginning.
To step into a situation where everyone is losing, invites us to make Peace the winner.

It takes just one to stop a fight.
It takes only one to make everything right.
It takes the one who says, I am sorry.
It takes only one who soothes the worries.

If you are willing, step up and speak out.
If you are willing, tell the truth of what you are about.
If you are willing, thank others for caring.
If you are willing, thank yourself for daring.

In the beginning, life asks us to learn.
When we are wiser, we begin to discern.
The way to live is to love and to care.
The way to be happy is to always share.

Your best Self is the best gift you can give.
Loving and laughing is a fun way to live.
When we want to enjoy each day with our friends,
Be the friend we want, no matter how it ends.

When I listen in my heart, I always know what to do.
When I speak from my mind, I don’t have a clue.
The Love inside will always be the best guide.
The mind in its defense will always make foes.

This rhyming??? reminder may not be well done.
But it certainly is true as I write it in fun.
When I live with Love as my guide.
I am at peace and happy and my life is safe and easy.

The speaker always speaks first about Self.
The writer writes the messages it must hear.
The messenger is only as credible as the integrity it gives
The One you are must find you Highest way to live.

Loving you as I remind us what is True!
Betty Lue

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Communicate with Respect

Do you speak with respect?
Do you transmit your thoughts with respect?
Does your body language demonstrate respect?
Do you behave in respectful ways toward everyone?

Whenever we begin to copy others disrespect, we teach ourselves and others falsely.
When we follow the example of societies disrespect in thoughts, words and behaviors, we encourage it.
When we allow others to treat us disrespectfully, we are supporting what is not healthy or helpful.
When we go along to get along with others, we are condoning the very behavior we don’t want.

It takes courage, patience, self respect, restraint and high principles to choose a better way.
Swearing is commonplace.  Do you like it?
Criticizing, silent treatment, belittling or shaming, threatening and nagging are common.
Do you engage in what is destructive to relationships?

Our mind and our mouth are ours alone to rule.
Our thoughts and our behavior is ours to control.
When we allow others to teach us what is ineffective, ignorant and disrespectful, we disrespect ourselves.
When we attempt to teach others using the negative behaviors they employ, we increase that behavior.

What we learn from our parents and elders must be looked at with care, to see what will work today.
What we experience from our loved ones, must be handled with respect to decide what is valuable.
What we give to others in our relationships is ours alone to choose by our example.
When we decide we want respect, we must give it, teach it, model it and earn it.

Forgive all past errors, both conscious and unconscious.
Forgive how you have allowed yourself and others to behave with lack of respect.
Choose again for how you want to think, speak and act.
Recognize that thoughts (imagined or judgmental), words and behaviors all communicate.

Change your mind.
Choose to be what you want.
Give your best consistently to everyone including yourself.
Use appreciation to emphasize your respect for others.

Remember the basic etiquette of communication.

·     Be respectful of the others’ time and desire to communicate.
·     Ask for time to speak.
·     Do not interrupt.
·     Use “please” and “thank you” liberally and genuinely.
·     Do not interrupt a conversation with phone calls or texts or others’ interruptions.
·     Focus on what you and the other really want to say.
·     Speak clearly and audibly with eye contact and full attention.
·     Take time to complete communication with gratitude.
·     Answer questions, phone calls, requests as soon as you are able or acknowledge your inability.
·     Give people clear definition of when you will be available and keep your agreements.
·     Do not put your needs to communicate before others needs.
·     State your purpose and intention clearly.
·     I would like to share a story or have a conversation or ask you a question when you have a minute.

·     When would be a good time?
·     Understand that your needs and the others needs are often different.
·     Be willing to wait.
·     Put in writing what is difficult, so the other may read and respond in their own time frame.
·     When  you communicate, decide ahead of tie the outcome you prefer and arrange to circumstances to achieve the outcome.
·     Stop pressing for what you want without first understanding what the other wants and needs….

And many more!

The first step is your intention.
The second is to be aware of the others needs.
The third is to respect both of you enough to do only what will work.
If it is not working, stop and wait until you can choose again with wisdom and kindness.

Loving you,  

Betty Lue

Ten Commandments of Relationships 
With mates, partners, friends, children, co-workers, etc.

Keep your agreements faithfully.
Communicate changes honestly and immediately.

Give more than you expect to receive. 

Do more than your “fair” share.

Receive everything with open appreciation.

Express your thanks sincerely and take nothing for granted.

Live your own life in integrity and on purpose.

Clarify, communicate and live your mission, your path, your principles and values.

Be responsible for yourself, your work and live your life impeccably. 

Don’t expect others to pick up after you or take care of you.

Stop using, blame, criticism or guilt to control or manipulate.
Stop making demands, threats or using neediness to get your way.

Communicate effectively and respectfully.

Request a time and place and tone of voice that works for both parties.

Be your best self in all circumstances.

Focus always on teaching by example. (and apologize immediately when you forget or neglect.)

Use your time together wisely.

Focus on meaningful, positive and inspiring conversation and activities.

Spend time, money, energy and resources only on what you value and want to increase.

Waste nothing in your relationship.  No arguing, pettiness, emotional dumping or negativity.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Look for the Good

Wherever you look, that is what you find.
Whatever you see is up to you and your beliefs.
When you seek for the light, you can always find it.
When you draw the curtains in your mind, you block the light and live in the dark.

Life is a choice.
Do you look for darkness or light?
Do you feel comfortable with problems and pain or with celebration and joy?
Are you willing to uncover your eyes and unblock you mind and open your heart?

During this time of more spiritual awareness and decreasing light from the sun, the dirt appears.
When we are engaged in economic stress, family conflict, health issues and personal fear, you may feel frustrated, angry and depressed.

What can I do?
What can you do?
What can we do?

  • Stop complaining.
  • Step away from the issue.
  • Take a break and look again.
  • Find a center of peace…in meditation, in nature, in a favorite activity, in music and beauty.
You have a choice always.
You can wallow in fear, depression, anger and resistance.?????
You can judge, blame, hate, feel sorry or guilty or ashamed.
Or you can forgive, be grateful, seek peace, nurture yourself or just get going and DO SOMETHING!

  • Do something meaningful.
  • Do something helpful to others.
  • Do something fun.
  • Do something adventuresome.
  • Do something happy.
  • Do something different.
  • Do something inspiring.
  • Do something Good.
Sometime too much thinking leads to “stinkin’ thinkin’”.
I don’t recommend that you try to analyze “Why?”…an  endless loop of meaningless stuff pours out.
I don’t recommend that you focus on “how awful it is or was”.
I don’t recommend that you tell stories and get your friends to commiserate with you.
I don’t recommend that you suffer and hold thoughts of revenge or suffer in silence.

I do recommend that you get on with life.

Waste no time in getting up to dance.
Linger not one moment longer in fear and worry.
Stop prolonging the choice to change and choose to step into life again.

Yes, I am more coach than support.
I too have been there….but I do not stay any longer than I am willing and able.
Yes, support has its function and thank goodness for those who support us.
It is true that I go to God, to good, to inspiration, to Love, to blessings to change my mind and my life!

I love you and me and we and all humanity.
Often we wait to legislate, get agreement and others to join before we choose again for what we really want to do and be and say and choose.
I am encouraging all of us to JUST DO IT!

  • Encouraging you to get out of the shadows and into the Light.
  • Stop lingering in past darkness and step into de Light.
  • Nurture your happiness and move away from the pain.
  • You learn life’s lessons more easily when you realize pain has no gain.
Setting us free with gratitude, respect and love,
Betty Lue

Monday, August 22, 2011

Who or What Do You Serve?

Service is a path of great reward.
What you serve grows.
Whom you serve is filled.
How you serve serves you, too.

When you give to takers, you increase taking.
When you give to givers, you strengthen giving.
When you pay attention to the squeaky wheel or loudest voice, you increase squeaky loud demands.
When you give attention to the unassuming contributors, you encourage contribution and service.

What you serve serves you. 
When you serve many, you serve all of us.
When you serve the one who only demands more, you are encouraging those who demand.
Those who are whole make no demands. 

Make a difference to those who are making a difference.
Appreciate the ones who care.
Dare to give to those who are giving.
Teachers, leaders, organizers, way showers need our attention, contribution, gratitude and respect.

When we neglect or ignore, criticize or complain about the leaders, we have fewer true leaders.
When we demand more from those who serve us—servers, clerks, attendants, parents, we teach them to be cautious and less willing to give.
When we pay attention to the needy demands of those who are not willing to be responsible, we amplify the demanding entitlement of those who are unwilling or ignorant of how to be respectful and responsible.
When we are petty in our demands or unappreciative those who protect, provide and love us, we demonstrate our selfishness and lack of spiritual understanding.

To make a difference, love the ones who make a difference in your life.

To increase your effectiveness in making a better world, contribute to what is making a better world.
To actualize your potential, serve greatness in everyone you encounter.
To become a powerful contributor to the world you want to be, serve those who are powerful givers.

It takes little to give a lot.

It requires us to use our time, money, energy and consciousness for the Good of All.
Do we fill in the gaps and support what is lacking or do we create a  strong foundation of wholeness ?
Do you follow the path of supporting the greatest demand or encourage the strength of those who give?

Where we give attention, increases.

What we focus on, becomes our world.
Our stories tell the story of our life.
Make a difference in what and whom you serve and you will change your life!

Loving us all as we choose again to make a difference.
Betty Lue

 This is lengthy, but will make a mighty difference in your understanding.

Serving Littleness
Dr. Robert Waldon, N.D., Ph.D.
7 Oak Brook Place, Pleasant Hill, CA 94523 (800) 919-2392

What if it’s true that we have built our world around responding to and serving neediness, littleness, lack and pain? That appears to be the way it is. That is not the way of Nature. Nature supports the strong and fit and resourceful. The mind of man has developed (and expressed) the ability to interfere with the natural way. We began by using the mind as another tool or resource for survival. The problem came in when trust fell out. No other animal kills when it is not hungry in order to store up for later. That is symptomatic of the many ways we have used our mind and our clever creativity to handle our lack of trust.

Most species respond in a manner consistent with the survival and well being of the species. In man, selfishness has become an issue. There is a focus on survival of the individual over survival of the species—seeing ourselves as separate from the whole. From that came guilt. In our recognition that we were out of balance or off purpose combined with a belief that our fears, insecurities and lack of trust were based in reality, we experienced guilt, rather than a return to Truth.

Guilt appears to be nothing more than a recognition that we have made a mistake combined with an unwillingness to choose again or to see things differently. Because we could no longer trust God to protect us (from ourselves), we began attempting to expiate our guilt by selectively taking care of those we were hurting. It seems “logical” that the strong, living in fear, would not take care of others who were also strong because that would increase the threat to themselves. The only place we could “safely” express our need for atonement would be on the weak—those who could get better and stronger enough to make us feel good, but not so strong as to threaten or challenge us. The position of “power” then became weakness which played on and manipulated guilt, but never let itself appear strong enough be threatening.

This probably plays out in each of our lives, with most of us playing both roles at varying times and to varying degrees. We come into this world “strong”—happy, whole and free— which threatens those around us. Those who are not totally inculturated very early on are at least taught not to be “selfish”, but to take care of those who have less (usually our “teachers” themselves wanting something from us).  Eventually, the world around us conspires to break us down in some way, in some arena, and that is where we get hooked in the game.

Once we become hurt or needy, usually finding no help or support, we begin to believe that being whole can hurt others (because we believe ourselves hurt) and we make sure never to do that to ourselves or to others. We also begin to take care of the needy in hopes that, if we are ever needy again, we will be taken care of. “There, but for the grace of God, go I” is a powerful statement of gratitude as well as a powerful link in the chain that binds us to the world.

As a result of these experiences and choices, we trust less in God and others, focus more on taking care of ourselves, and operate to handle fear rather than to extend love. We seek to be strong more for the purpose of not being needy, rather than because it is our natural state. We offer “alms to the poor” as our bargain with the universe to protect us.

We have developed a culture which worships rising to greatness by overcoming adversity. The stronger or more painful the adversity overcome, the more we worship. There is the insane belief that those who have suffered much and attained, will be more kind, understanding and generous to those who still suffer much. The easier and more natural the expression of wholeness and power, the more we distrust and attack and attempt to defeat or overthrow.

We now have a world where more suffering creates more safety and support, and where the harder you have had to work and the more you have had to overcome, the less vulnerable you are to attack. That’s why forgiveness is a threat, both to the one currently suffering and the one who has overcome. If forgiveness is real, there is no excuse to suffer, and there will be an instant return to self-responsibility. And, if forgiveness is real, there is nothing that was ever really overcome, which leaves the now happy and healthy at the mercy of an attacking world.

Our work is to forgive and live, not condemn and die. It’s the old dilemma of who lays down their arms first and, “can you trust enough to be that vulnerable?”  This is the stuff of martyrs. They did the right and noble thing and the other guys not only did not lay down arms, but attacked. That’s the glue-story that holds the old paradigm together. Whenever we reach this point of recognizing the game and being able and willing to choose for Truth, we remember, or are reminded of, those who went before on this same path and the price they paid.

We need to stop glorifying the martyr and stop projecting our own experience on the stories of the saints. We need to know, even more clearly and strongly, that nothing real can be threatened. It is only our belief in pain and suffering that creates those experiences in us and creates our perception of those experiences in others. Somehow, we need to call the game and not allow ourselves to be hurt.
When I believe in this whole worldly drama, I want to die. That’s the only logical conclusion to the scenario. Some die sooner, some later. Some die happier, some in more pain. Some leave simply and quietly, some suffer. Each of those vignettes is glorified by some religion, or sect or group. It matters not. The result is always the same—death.

The more I affirm eternal life, my right to fully live, the more it seems that life, the world and my body create challenges, as if to say, “How dare you question (threaten) the established order of this world? Believe in all of this and see the error of your ways.” My experiences then, represent my internal conflict about what is really true. I notice that I begin “working hard” at living as a denial of death, rather than just being fully alive.

In those times when I have just been alive, caught up in a moment of joy or love or creativity, I transcend the pain and suffering as well as the reward and success, and experience a taste of eternal life as it was given to us by our creator. The mind says (and, therefore, proves) that we can’t live like that forever. The truth is that is the only way we can live forever. It is also, quite probably, the only way we would be willing to live forever.

Who could bear the thought of eternal life as an extension of how we have mostly experienced life in this world? Most of our choices and experiences in this world are tolerable only because they have an end. Until we choose for love and forgiveness as our only response and our entire focus of being, the concept of time will remain to protect us from experiencing an eternity of hell. When we no longer make temporary or expedient choices, time will cease to exist and death will be an unnecessary concept.Until then, how do we best live? Choose for joy and a life of serving love. Support those who appear to need no worldly support with your love, your joyful thoughts, with trust and freedom. Remember that God’s will for you is perfect happiness and choose accordingly. Let go of using “stories”. Let go of growth and development and working on it. Stop searching for enlightenment and let it dawn on you. Resist not evil or error, but rejoice in the light. Where the sun shines, there is no darkness.

From the Tao of Robert:
How is it that the little limit the great?
The slow outpace the swift?
The weak defeat the strong?
The empty cup,
Having a hole at its base,
Can drain the fullest vessel.
The rains do not delay
To give slow farmers time to plant.
Winter does not wait
To protect late-maturing fruit.
The flowing river,
Upon reaching a precipice,
Does not consider the earth below before plunging over.
The sun rises
Even if men still sleep.
Thus, the wise man waits for no one
And serves all.

What do we do with physical discomfort and pain? Notice it and refuse to use it as a tool or an excuse to either get what we want or to avoid what we don’t want. Respond with attention to the body when it becomes a distraction and use that call to love yourself and offer love to those with whom you interact. Find ways to let the truth be known that this call is a gift so that you can affirm the truth for yourself and your world. As much as possible, move through the inconvenience, choosing for love and joy, doing what you are called to do—what has heart and meaning—giving yourself to your world.

Physical, mental or emotional pain are all signs of being off purpose. You must be willing to let go of all you have been holding dear which is actually holding you in fear. Pain is an insistent call to imagine (image within) a life so full of joy and so on purpose that we would be willing to live it forever. Although it is much harder to imagine that world than it is to hold the mistaken images you have adopted, it is much easier to live that life than it is to continue your current struggle for existence.

What if we were to simply change our minds and move our lives back on purpose? In addition to separating ourselves from the rest of our world and setting ourselves up for attack, there is also the part of the mind which judges ourselves for the foolishness of apparently wasted time and for being so stupid as to have believed in the illusion for as long as we did. The internal threat to our peace and safety is more potentially damning than the external threats (knowing that our internal states create our perception of external reality).

There is no true forgiveness which does not include the erasure of the mind. Anything even dimly remembered is not forgiven. The only true and complete healing is the state where there is no memory of ever not being healed and whole. You cannot both forgive and remember. You cannot both fully trust and still protect yourself in some way. You cannot wholly know the truth and still believe in any part of the illusion. You cannot be totally free in only part of your life.

It is like a bird in flight. In order for flight to occur, the earth must be left behind. For many, the leap of faith is frightening and life threatening. For those who know and trust their ability to fly free, it is exhilarating. Just as most baby birds need to be initially pushed from the nest for their first flight, so we use the world to push us into our own experience of our “moment of truth”. Where we differ from birds and the natural order is in the use of our minds. Our mind is potentially the greatest tool for freedom and it is also the biggest block to responding to the call for freedom when it comes. The bird, knowing nothing else, instinctively opens its wings and flies. Human beings, knowing too much else, override instinct and block the God-given, natural ability to soar above the illusion and experience freedom. In our choice to see ourselves as victim, we crash and burn.

Because the power of love which created us may be occluded, but cannot be overcome by the world of illusion, we rise again—Phoenix-like—with the opportunity to choose again, to see things differently, to forgive ourselves and our self-created illusion and return to our natural state.
Sometimes, in our inability to totally forgive, we cannot let go of feeling hurt. Forgetting is a form of temporary forgiveness. Since death is a form of both denial and forgetting, we choose to “die” in an attempt to start over with a clean slate. We move, leave relationships, change jobs and even physically die. We give ourselves repeated opportunities to get enough momentum in the direction of truth so that we can easily spot and overcome error when it presents itself. It is said “Denial is a powerful protective device. You can and should deny that error can hurt you.” (ACIM)

Because death never really changes anything, we will ultimately be faced with that which we thought we left behind. Hopefully, we have grown stronger in our remembrance and recognition of the truth so that we can really let go the next time. We will ultimately succeed because no illusion can hide the truth in us forever. We will ultimately forgive all of our mistaken perceptions and return to love. We can forgive now or we can forgive in a later now. It is all the same, in truth, but it is a very different experience in time. The earlier in time we forgive, the sooner we return to joy and an experience of life we are willing to have be eternal. We can choose to be happy pioneers, leading the way for our world (“Forgive now, avoid the rush.”) or we can choose to hang on to our misery a little longer yet, until forgiveness is more in vogue and appears to be easier.

Forgiveness opens us to the experience of being willing to once again give freely of ourselves (“Life is forgiving and you are the gift.”) and to recognize and fully receive the abundant gifts being presented to us in every moment.

From the Tao of Robert:
Water poured into an empty vessel
Greatly depletes its source
Before fullness is achieved.
The greater the emptiness,
The greater the danger to the source.
Water poured into a full vessel
Overflows immediately to good cause,
Bringing fullness to those also served
Without depleting the source.
The greater the fullness
The greater the joy to the source
And the greater the good to all.
The wise man
Knows to serve the mighty
So all whom they also touch are served.
To serve the weak
Encourages and supports weakness.
The great lake neither dries up nor empties
Because it is constantly renewed.
Many rivers bring it life.
It is open to fully giving
Because it fully receives.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Make No Assumptions

You may think you know what others feel.
Observe and make no assumptions.

You may think others want what you want.
Listen and make no assumptions.

You may think they like what you like.
Ask and make no assumptions.

You may think their choices are the same as yesterday.
Ask and make no assumptions.

When we love someone, we often treat them like our parents treated us.
We talk to them the way without considering how they are hearing us.
We imagine we know what they want and how they feel.
We assume they now what we want and how we feel.

The work in healthy relationships is to be respectful.
Our work is to take nothing for granted and make no assumptions.
We must learn to stop unhealthy past patterns and heal our own issues.
We don’t know what is the preferred timing and way to engage unless we ask.

When we respect a stranger or a loved one, we take the time to observe their needs.
When we have a request, we can interrupt or speak without asking for a moment.
“When would be a good time to speak to you?”  and waiting to see if appropriate.
And take no offense, if we are not received with openness.

Criticism, defensiveness, stone-walling, contempt, and belligerence can destroy relationships.
When you criticize (or suggestions are received as critical), the other may be defensive.
When you feel bullied or threatened, the other may give you the silent treatment.
When you feel wounded, we may send messages of contempt or use Name-calling in return.

When we had parents who “loved” us and we were criticized, yelled at, called names, or rejected, we may do the same with our loved ones.  We may even interpret our parents behavior and ours as a way to love!
It is valuable in relationships to ask, what the other prefers in times of conflict, upset and difficult.

You can observe when another feels upset.
Stop and forgive yourself immediately.
Apologize and wait until there is a neutral time to ask for help.
“I am sorry for the offense.  I want to find a better way to relate with you.”
“When I have a suggestion, what is the best way to present it?”
Shall I keep it to myself, present it in writing, speak to you in a quiet way, give you my complements first?or talk to you about my preferences….ie I prefer that ……..”

All issues in relationships are past hurts that need to be healed in both parties.
Take the time to stop hurting one another and yourself.
Make no assumptions.
Forgive all mistakes.
Choose again for a better way.

You and I are new each day.
I want to respect you are you are today.
I prefer to make no assumptions and see you in each new moment.
I choose to treat you as the precious and good being you are.
Betty Lue

Something I shared with a couple that may be helpful to you:

You are responsible for your own happiness and inner peace.
Where we are upset (angry, hurt, afraid, judgmental), our past wounds (unhealed stuff) has been triggered.   This shows us where we have work to do.
The usual relationship habit is to try to “fix” the other person, to get them to change or stop saying or doing what has upset us. This makes the other feel “wrong” and guilty and hurt and angry and inadequate. This only exaggerates the problem.
It is ineffective over the long term.

The real work is to heal our own woundedness, to clear our own buttons and heal our history and forgive allowing anything or anyone to hurt us.  When we have done our work, we can be truly effective, helpful and teach by example.

This is a big job.
It cannot be done overnight, but takes constant practice.
We must first take good care of ourselves mentally, physically, and spiritually.
Being conscious and taking impeccable care of ourselves is essential to quality relationships.

Begin now with learning to love, respect, trust and appreciate yourself.
The more you love, trust, respect and appreciate yourself, the more others will love, trust, respect and appreciate you.
The more you love, respect, trust and appreciate yourself, the more others will do the same for themselves and  for others.

You are the living example, the teacher, with everything you think, say and do.
Betty Lue

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Who Are You?

Who Are You?
Why Are You Here?
What Is Your Path to Walk?
How Are You to Support Your True Self?

When you are very unaware, ( a younger soul), you may see yourself as needing a way to survive.
When you begin to awaken and feel your own needs, you may want to satisfy your desire to belong.
When you begin to socialize and connect with others, you may see a need to achieve or contribute.
When you find beneficial ways to share your natural gifts, you find fulfillment and inner peace.

Is there a place for you to begin to fully realize your reason for being?
Is there a path to follow that allows you to actualize your authentic self?
Are there steps to take to reach your highest vision for yourself?

You can provide for your needs, belong to others, connect and be helpful, achieve and be fulfilled.

Are you unhappy and unfulfilled, seeking a better way?:

  • You may be walking another’s path.
  • You may not truly love yourself.
  • You may have gotten stuck in fear.
  • You may not know a better way to live.
  • You may be seeking to “get” rather than “give”.
  • You may be trying to fix the past.
  • You may have forsaken your values and ethics.
  • You may be addicted to what numbs your pain.
  • You may have neglected to care for yourself first.
  • You may be listening to outer demands instead of inner calling.
Some need to focus on their own needs first to be fully prepared to relate and serve.
Some need to be in intimate relationship, inspiring partnership to learn and grow.
Some need to contribute to the family, community and greater humanity to realize their potential.
As you discover the many facets of your inner beauty, your life’s purpose and gifts, you are motivated.

When we live with love in mind and in relationships and in our daily activities, we feel alive.
When we are awake and aware, being true to our authentic selves, we know our worth.
When we are pleased with our creations and perceive our life as inspiring, we are energized.
When we remember always the Good within ourselves, we see the Good in others.

Life is a canvas on which we learn and grow, accept and learn from our errors, forgive and heal the past.
Everyday becomes a lesson in loving ourselves and our life choices.
We understand the value of being patient and persistent, conscious and clear, open and optimistic.
We embrace our life journey with eagerness, enthusiasm, enjoyment and desire to be All we can be.

What can you do today to discover more of your authentic self?
Are you willing to take a little time to look at the life you have chosen…..bumps and highlights?
Can you see the people, places and positions that have given you a greater perspective?
Are you ready to appreciate it all, with an understanding that everything has been in your best interest?

Life is for giving.
You are the Gift.
Nurture Your Self.
Enjoy sharing the Gift You Are.

Betty Lue

Friday, August 19, 2011

Every Interaction Matters!

Every relationship makes a difference.
We are teaching others how to relate to us.
We demonstrate by our behavior how we want our world to be.
We are teaching by our example with our thoughts, words and behavior.

All communications matter.

Whether we are talking on the phone or to a stranger, the universe is listening.
When we dump negative emotions, fears or judgments on others, we create more.
We connect  or disconnect with others with our verbal interaction.

Our relationships can be constructive or destructive.

We can use our interactions with others to teach and create more harmony and peace.
We can destroy trust, respect, healing and intimacy with critic, defensiveness, contempt, and threats.
We are powerful creators of what we want or don’t want in every encounter.

Everyone needs a safe and sacred place to heal and reveal their need for respect and understanding.

When we offer safety and peace, we build trust and respect.
When we extend love to those lacking or ignorant in ways to relate, we are building a better world.
When we clear our fear with self forgiveness, we open to learn how to return to love others.

When we recognize negative patterns of relating come from imprinting, we can choose what works.

When we are aware of ineffective or destructive patterns of communicating, we can choose again.
When we keep on repeating old behaviors expecting a different result, we stay stuck in judgment.
When we are open and willing to find a better way, we learn what works to build success.

Everyone desires and deserves to love and be loved.

To feel safe, to belong, to achieve, to heal, to learn and grow is the support we need for self actualization.
When we respond to our own needs with support and respect, we can more consciously respond to others.
When forgive and heal our unconscious avoidance, negativity and fear, we are willing to find a better way.

Wherever we are stuck, we see our judgment and fear.
Whenever we are stubborn, we recognize our need to be righteous and right.
When we want to be free, we respond with willingness to heal and release.
When we want to be effective, we undo and explore new ways to interact.

Judgment begets more judgment and fear.
Resistance creates more resistance.
Willingness and open-mindedness free us to see more and be more willing.
When you relate with loving kindness, you are creating more love and kindness in your world.

Yes, the work is to do the work.

When there is more light, we see more what we need to clean up, heal and change.
Now is the time to do our own work.

Stop seeing yourself as victim of others’ ignorance.

Be the teacher and role model you are here to be!
I trust we are here to find and teach a better way!

Betty Lue

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

You Are Love It Self!

You are my Loving Reminders 
“Thank you for loving me!”

You Are Love It Self!
Look for Love and you will find it!

Love created you as Love for the purpose of Loving!
This is your healing and holy purpose.
Love comes in many forms and no form at all.
Love is beyond what can be measured or seen.

The Love you are is a blessing, a light in our world.
When it is hidden withheld, or lies dormant with no sharing, it fades in it power.
To know the love you are, you must share it, express it, extend it and receive it.
In order to stay full of IT (Love), you must receive the Love you freely give.

Perfect Love has no conditions, no expectations, no needs.
Human Love often comes full of these considerations.
Human Love may show up as protective stern warnings or threats.
Human Love may smother and limit with fear.

Under all life there is Love, because Love is the only true creative power.
Ask yourself how you love, whom you love, when you love.
You will see that Love is your identity, your function and your life.
Some of the ways humans love….all can be perceived as gifts of caring and creativity.

Love may be letting go with blessing.
Love may be staying away from another.
Love may be reading a book in bed.
Love may be planting a garden or cleaning your home.
Love may be preparing a healthy meal for yourself.
Love may be singing a song, taking a walk, laughing at silliness.
Love may be writing a thank you note, listening to another’s story.
Love may be enjoying the sunrise or the birds that sing.
Love may be saying “no” to what feels wrong or unhealthy to you.
Love may be separating from negative associations or activities.
Love may be spending time in silence or joining a group.
Love may be calling someone in need or alone.
Love may be giving a complement or unexpected “tip”>
Love may be freely sharing what you have and feeling good.
Love may be enjoying someone’s company or giving comforting words.
Love may be staying silent or offering positive suggestions.
Love may be speaking to a stranger, or appreciating a parent.
Love may be giving to the homeless or feeding him a meal.
Love may be remembering the Good in another, when others have judged.
Love may be being respectful, kind and generous.
Love may be forgiving and forgetting unahppy memories, to fully love again.
Love may be apologizing for your misperceptions, resentments and blame.
Love may be demonstrating a better way to live and love everyday with everyone.

How do you Love?
Love inspires and energizes.
How do you receive Love?
Love is inspiring and fills our cup.

I am loving you always with a Love that is True B’lue,
Betty Lue

This is a precious birthday poem which I share with you to freely use.
Beautiful blessing now and always!!

For your Birthday (and for everyday!)
Blessed be the mind that dreamed the day
the blueprint of your life would begin to glow on earth,
illuminating all the faces and voices
that would arrive to invite your soul to growth.

Praised be your father and mother, who loved you before you were,
and trusted to call you here with no idea who you would be.

Blessed  be those who have loved you
into becoming who you were meant to be,
Blessed be those who have crossed your life
with dark gifts of hurt and loss that have helped
to school your mind in the art of disappointment.
When desolation surrounded you,
Blessed be those who looked for you
and found you, their kind hands urgent to open
a blue window in the gray wall formed around you.

Blessed be the gifts you never notice, your health,
eyes to behold the world,
thoughts to countenance the unknown,
memory to harvest vanished days,
your heart to feel the world’s waves,
your breath to breathe the nourishment
of distance made intimate by earth.

On this echoing-day of your birth,
may you open the gift of solitude
in order to receive your soul; enter the generosity of silence
to hear your hidden heart; know the serenity of stillness
to be enfolded anew by the miracle of your being.

John O’Donohue
from his book
“To bless the space between us”

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Why I Am Here?

On this day August 16, 1942 I came into embodiment at 11:43 PM.
I came to innocent and love parents, who spoke of me as a “gift of God’s Love”.
They saw themselves as temporary guardians who were here to guide only if I had need.
They received my birth as a gift of love, given to them for temporary care only.
They did not criticize or praise me.
They simply “loved” me with trust and freedom to be.
Therefore I was happy, helpful and aware of what was being guided within.
I listened to my heart, the inner voice, and followed without the distraction of outer fear and restriction.
I watched and explored.  I was enthusiastic about learning, helping, creating and enjoying life.
I loved beauty, nature, order, cleanliness, harmony, being useful.
I blossomed with the responsibility and freedom I was given.
I knew there was nothing I could not do with the gifts I was given and the Love for Good within us all.
I believed in all people and all paths that bring us to our inner Good and true integrity of Love.
There was never a need to excel or compete, because I am guided to give where I am fully received.
I needed nothing except the trust to listen within and the freedom to follow as guided.
I am prospered as I share everything I have with those who would receive.
I am blessed to have always been aware of these truths and spiritual wisdom.

I am grateful for this physical existence, this life with You!
Life’s challenges have come from the body’s seeming vulnerabilities.
I have learned to use my body always and only for loving purposes.  No over giving or withholds.
I have been amused and confused by the apparent fear of Love.
I am dismayed by the egoic resistance to being wholly responsible for one’s happiness.
I have learned from humanity many things about the ego, fear, problems and pain.

I have explored the limitations of being “human”.
I recognize how humanity has gotten stuck and confused itself with complexity and fear.
When people think they are not good, not enough and “messed up, they are mistaken.
When our species judges and compares, fights for superiority and excess, they become fearful.

Many have forgotten to Love themselves.
Most have gotten stuck in defensiveness and protecting themselves for our imagined fears.
Many have fosaken their true identity and purpose.
Humanity often connects and commiserates in suffering and self pity.

Now is the time to awaken.
This is the place to remember.
We are the Ones to speak the Truth.
We are here to trust and free ourselves.

What can you do to love your whole Self today?
What are you willing to undo to remember the Truth of YOU?
Can you clean up the errors in you mind that hold you back?
Are you open to stop believing in limitation and lack?

You are the One.
Now is your time.
Love your Life well.
And you will find the answers to your questions.

Heaven is within.
It is here right now, when you stop giving the world authority over your questions of why and how.
You can listen within.
You can find your way.
Stop judging the life you have.
Give your whole Self to Love today.

I believe in you
I know what is true.
Because I live it everyday.
And when I forget I go within to remember.

I can truly say, “I see You. I know You. And I love and respect YOU! 
Because I see me, I know Me and I love the I Am as Me. “

Blessed be all as we find our way Home.
Betty Lue