Make a Positive Difference in Someone’s Life

Affirmations: (Affirmations are meant to be written and spoken many times everyday.  See below)

Life is for giving and I AM The Gift.

Giving is my joy.

Giving fills me up.

Giving is the natural way to Love.

Giving Love is loving me.

Reach out and touch someone’s life with listening, caring and sharing.

You will never be the same.

When you give your time, resources and love to benefit someone else, you will be blessed.

Unconditional Love is the awakening that comes from doing good, simply for the sake of doing Good.

From early childhood, I was invited to give.

My giving, helping, listening and loving we received with appreciation.

I learned to fully appreciate myself for being truly helpful.

I experienced the natural joy of giving and contributing.

“What can I do?” became my inner mantra.

“Where can I serve?” is my calling.

“How can I be truly helpful?” is the inner guidance for my life.

And in this I find purpose, direction, focus and great joy.

Help your parents.

Play with your children.

Listen to your elders.

Be supportive of your mate.

Take time to help strangers.

Volunteer at a local non profit org.

Give resources to your church or favorite charity.

Help in a school classroom.

Giving is natural when we are not denied or dismissed for our gifts.

Giving comes easily when we have received what we need.

Giving is trusting there will always be more when we share what we have.

Giving is allowing all we have to freely flow out to others with grace.

If everyone shared what we have, each one would have enough.

If you gave your extra time to those who need more, there would be no distress.

If we all shared resources without mistaken limitation, there would be no lack.

When we remember to love ourselves unconditionally, we trust in loving others fully.

When you open your heart, you will see all kinds of effortless natural giving.

Give money to the places that use resources to serve others with respect.

Give time to listen, play, pray and say only positive and inspiring words.

Give love to those who are lacking in love and support by forgiving mistakes and  loving them anyway.

I have volunteered as early as I can remember.

To help my mother care for my brother, preparing meals when Mom was unable, keeping my room clean,

To take care of neighbors’ children, in the classroom when teacher needed help, with kids who were alone. To visit elders in senior homes, hospitalized kids, singing for shut-ins, sitting and cheer up the lonely.

To give money to causes that meant something, AFS exchange student ambassador for peace.

To help during elections, clean up inner city housing, work in mental hospitals, and city hospitals.

To do jobs no one else wanted, move through my own fears, be kind to strangers, forgive any judgments.

To never turn anyone away who asked for help and be present in the middle of the night for urgent calls.

To drive an hour at 3:30AM to care for my granddaughter every morning before school for several  years.

To share my time, talents and treasures freely with others, trusting there will be more when needed.

My life is rich in every way, because I give the Love I have in every form needed.

I know life works when you give with joy and gratitude, because it does.

Loving you in giving the gift of You, 

Betty Lue

How to Use Affirmations:

Affirmations are used to clear unconscious programming that tends to guide our thoughts, feelings and behavior.

Writing, speaking and hearing us say the affirmation aloud clears the false beliefs through our sense of sight, sound and touch.  

It is essential that we keep writing and saying the affirmations until there is no longer resistance to the limiting beliefs.  

Affirmations are not to be used to develop a new belief, but only useful to clear false limiting programs.  

Once there is quict, clarity, no resistance, we are complete.

My favorite way to do affirmations is to divide the lined page down the middle.  

The affirmation is written on the left side and your mind chatter or contradictory thought is written on the right side.

Then cross off the negative.  

Write the affirmation again on the left and listen to your mind chatter and write on the right.

 Cross the mind chatter off.  

Continue writing the affirmation 20 times and listen for the resistant thought after each one.

I would do it all by hand, so I could cross it off with my pen!!  

20 times daily for 14 days or until there is no resistance.

Do no more than three different affirmations at a time.

Things may change dramatically, so be prepared to notice big difference.

Life works when we are willing to do the work.  

Ask me for help if you have trouble finding the affirmations that are most effective for you.

 Always choose an affirmation that you resist, because it will help clear away what is blocking your Good.

They will always feel like a lie in the beginning and you may find great resistance to doing them!!

Affirmations for Conscious Healing 

by Betty Lue Lieber, MFT, Ph.D.

Letting go is fun, safe and easy.

I now easily bless and release all that no longer serves me.

I forgive with ease and let go with gratitude.

Everyone and everything is either giving love or calling for Love.

I am a Love giver.

The more I give Love, the more I have the Love I want.

Light, light, I want more light.

I choose to live with joy and give with gratitude.

I love my life and it loves me.

I have what I want and share the best I have.

Life works for me.

I am the chooser, never a loser.

Everything always works more exquisitely than I can plan.

I am clear, focused and committed.

I consciously communicate exactly what I want.

I trust in my inner knowing, always gentle, loving and true.

I let go of expectations, evaluations and disappointments.

I am creating a world of healing and love one person at a time.

The more I love and respect myself, the more others love and respect me.

The more I love and respect myself, the more I love and respect others.

The more I love and respect myself, the more others love and respect themselves.

I give myself the very best and all are blessed.

I am present, peaceful, awake and aware.

I share only the highest Truth I know and then I let go.

My happiness is contagious.

I replace all worry, fear and doubt with trust, freedom and blessing.

Peace and love and joy heal us All.

My body is a vehicle for learning only Love is Real.

Useful suggestions for applying the technique of Autosuggestion to the Affirmations

Write each affirmation 10 to 20 times. 

Writing is an extremely powerful technique of autosuggestion.

 Work with one or more every day. Good times are just before sleeping, before starting the day and especially whenever you feel at effect. 

They can also be recorded on cassette tape and played back to yourself. 

The best way to do that is by recording each affirmation 5 or 10 times so that you have time to think about them when they are playing.

Make a list of the affirmations that are most meaningful to you.

Put specific names and situations into the affirmations.

Play with the vocabulary in the affirmation--make it personal and meaningful to  yourself.

Say the affirmations to yourself in the first, second and third persons as follows: 

I,  (name), now like myself.  You, (name), now like yourself.   Name, now likes him/herself.

 Feel free to invent new ones.

 Continue working with them daily until they become totally integrated into your consciousness.

To dissolve negative mental patterns and free maximum aliveness in your consciousness, write each affirmation in order 10 or 20 times. 

Note the ones that are most meaningful or produce the greatest charge. 

Continue working with these until they go flat. 

When they go flat, you are at total cause and master of the results implied by the affirmations.

Listen to Yourself

Affirmations:

I listen to my own advice.

I give the best I know.

I respect myself and others in asking for help.

I demonstrate my love with thoughts, words and deeds that are respectful and kind.

Your thoughts and words create.

So be caring, clear and concise.

Listen to what you think.

Erase what you don’t want to create.

Listen to what you say.

Make sure you live what you say to others.

Sometimes people talk too much and gossip about others.

Sometimes they are busy correcting or suggesting to others.

Sometimes people want to control others with opinions and demands.

Sometimes people are teaching others to do what they need to do for themselves.

Sometimes people are busy telling others what to do, but don’t do it for themselves.

Sometimes people are trying to fix or change or figure out another, because they want to help. 

Most of the time people do not listen to their own advice and suggestions.

Much of the time people are sharing stories about others that are meant to be confidential.

Sometimes the tone of our voice, our words and thoughts may be rude, crude or inappropriate.

Isn’t it about time we clean up our own act?

Let us start by listening to what we say and how we say it and to whom.

Let us learn to stop talking, until we have something beneficial, positive or kind to share.

Let us give our words a rest and be still until we hear what is worth sharing.

Let us trust that silence is golden and in the quiet we can listen to our heart.

Some Rules of Engagement:

Be appreciative (not critical).

Share what is valuable and wise.  (No gossip.)

Listen more to others and talk less.

Give what is requested.

Be respectful of others time and interest.

Learn to be kind in all communication.

See the best and forgive the rest.

When Someone Asks for Help or Counsel :

Ask for what they want: Listening, advice, help, encouragement, prayer, referral, honest feedback?

Provide a safe, confidential environment for listening.

Set a time limit that works for both. (so no stress  or resentment for either)

Give what you know.

Live what you give.

Show with your thoughts and words you care.

Be respectful of yourself and the other.

Invite the other to give you feedback or request more help as needed.

Give your best and let go of the rest.

Trust, Trust, Trust, Love is Enough!

Every encounter is meant to be holy.

Every interaction can be healing.

Every relationship invites us to give our best.

Every time we speak, we can share our Love.

Loving you for loving you and others, Too!

Betty Lue

Active Listening
What It Is

Active listening is a skill borrowed from non-directive counseling techniques which help the listener “decode” the person’s feelings, to tell what’s “inside”. The receiver tries to understand what it is the sender is feeling or what his messages mean. The receiver does not send back a message of his own. He feeds only what he feels the sender’s message meant, nothing more, nothing less.

What It Does

Active listening helps a person to find out exactly what they are feeling. It actually helps free the person from troublesome feelings.
Active listening helps a person become less afraid of negative feelings.
Active listening promotes a relationship of warmth and caring.
Active listening facilitates problem-solving by the person.
Active listening influences the person to be more willing to develop new thoughts and ideas.
Active listening allows the other person to start analyzing problems, achieve constructive solutions, think for himself.

Attitudes Required To Use Active Listening

You must want to hear what the person has to say. You must be willing to take the time. If you don’t have the time, say so.
You must genuinely be able to accept the person’s feelings, whatever they may be or however different they are from your own feelings or from what you think the other person should fee. This attitude takes time to develop.
You must genuinely want to be helpful to the person with a particular problem at that time.
You must have a deep feeling of trust that each person has the ability to handle his feelings, work through them, and will find his own solutions.
You must appreciate that feelings are transitory, not permanent. Feelings change—hate can turn into love, discouragement may quickly be replaced by hope. Consequently, you need not be afraid of feelings getting expressed, they will not become forever fixed inside the person.
You must be able to see the person as someone separate from yourself. This will enable you to permit the person to have his own feelings, his own way of perceiving things. You must be with the person as he experiences his problems.

Roadblocks To Effective Communication

ORDERING, DIRECTING, COMMANDING
Telling a person to do something: “You have to do what I say.”
WARNING, ADMONISHING, THREATENING
Telling what consequences will occur if a person does something: “If you keep on crying, you’ll be depressed.”
EXHORTING, MORALIZING, PREACHING
Telling a person what should or ought to be done: “You should really get help with your problem.”
ADVISING, GIVING SOLUTIONS OR SUGGESTIONS
Telling someone how to solve a problem, giving advice or suggestions, providing answers or solutions: “I suggest you call your landlord immediately.”
JUDGING, CRITICIZING, DISAGREEING, BLAMING
Making a negative judgment or evaluation: “With that attitude, you will never accomplish anything.”
PRAISING, AGREEING
Offering a positive evaluation or judgment, agreeing: “You certainly have the ability to handle the situation.”
NAME CALLING, RIDICULING, SHAMING
Making the person feel foolish: “You’re stupid if you make a mountain out of a molehill.”
INTERPRETING, ANALYZING, DIAGNOSING
Telling a person that you have everything figured out and that you know why he/she is doing or saying something: “You’re just disappointed because everyone else was late.”
REASSURING, SYMPATHIZING, CONSOLING, SUPPORTING
Trying to make the person feel better, denying feelings, trying to make feelings go away: “A nice hot bubble bath will relax all that tension.”
DIVERTING, SARCASM, WITHDRAWAL, IGNORING
Not listening to what the person is saying: “I’ve talked to lots of people who have worse problems.”
QUESTIONING, PROBING
Trying to get the person to give you more information: “What else can you tell me about your problem?”

We Create the Life We Have!

Affirmations:
I forgive all mis-creations.
I am created to create.
I create only goodness, wholeness and beauty.
I appreciate myself for creating a good life.

Life is not set in the stars.
Life is not a given to be an excuse.
Life is not something we win.
Life is a choice.

Create the Life You want.
Use what you have.
Learn from every experience.
Improve because you want better.

Stop using the excuse of your past.
Stop blaming your heritage and history.
Stop complaining about the stress and lack.
Stop confusing yourself with wild dreams.

Today you can do something to improve.
Today you can forgive your resentment.
Today you can eat better and sleep better.
Today you can begin one step at a time.

Whatever your history, you can make a life that works.
Whatever you education, you can create beauty in your home.
Whatever your physical health, you can be kind to others.
Whatever your financial means, you can share what you have.

We can clean up our lives if they are messy.
We can heal our wounds, if we have been hurt.
We can make amends, if we have hurt others.
We can forgive our mistakes and choose again.

It takes a respectful choice to not argue or fight.
It takes a few seconds to apologize and mean it.
It takes being commitment to stop drinking, smoking and using.
It takes a long pause and a promise to never hurt or yell at your kids.

We can create a peaceful life.
Stop making war.
We can create a happy life.
Stop making yourself and others sad.
We can create a loving life.
Start being kind to everyone, including you.
We can create a good life.
Start thinking good thoughts and using good words and doing good deeds.

I know you can!
Begin today!
Loving you,
Betty Lue

What Are You Doing With Your Life?

Affirmations:

I give my life, all I have and am and do, to God, the Goodness in me and You.

I am true to what I know and live in all I say and do.

I have the life I truly want and give thanks that this is so.

I use every moment of my life to be the One I Know.

  

Mistakes are for learning a better way.

Upsets are a wakeup call to be more aware.

Forgiveness is a tool to clear the past.

Changes are opportunities to choose again.

Are you using your life to learn?

Are you enjoying the life you choose?

Are you blaming others for the choices you made?

Are you giving away your power to money or fear?

Each one of us has a life to use for whatever purpose we choose.

We can choose to contribute, achieve, procrastinate, throw it away, and play victim.

Whatever role we choose is ours to hate, enjoy, utilize, destroy or create.

Some choose many life purposes in one lifetimes, for variety and fun and to learn more.

What are we learning here?

How to be powerful or weak?

How to create or destroy?

How to love and to fear?

How does it all work?

How can I change?

What is right?

What do I want to do and be?

Am I a chooser, loser, confuser, abuser for me?

Am I the worker, slacker, procrastinator, achiever, contributor, creator, destroyer or critic?

Am I using my life to harm or be harmed, love or be loved, fear or be feared, give or take?

Am I the protector and provider, the nurturer and the nourisher, the dependent or independent one?

What do you really care about?  Yourself or others or all humanity?

What really matters to you? Taking care of yourself, family and friends, the earth, money and job?

What are your true values in life?  Freedom, Trust, Honesty, Generosity, Service, Kindness, Connection?

Many values and priorities, diverse callings and roles we play, all designed for greater learning.

As I learn from you, I learn for me what is good and whole and sets us free.

I can see through your lives and mine, that we are came here to find the kind of life we want.

Each one of us learns and earns what we are willing to have to see to be our own whole Self.

When we remember Who we Really Are , we love unconditionally and serve from the Heart.

And so it is, I am loving you and all as One,

Betty Lue

What Are Loving Reminders?

A handful of people are new to receiving these daily or weekly loving reminders from me.

I send them directly to over one thousand people and many more from your referrals.

I have been writing and sending Loving Reminders for over 14 years everyday I am at my computer.

They are valuable for me to receive and share and valuable for others who receive them as reminders.

When something resonates with you, you feel its truth in your heart.

When you are reminded of what you know deep inside, you appreciate and find value.

When you are touched with inspiration, you feel grateful and can choose to practice.

This is my reason for listening within and sharing the inner guidance I receive each day.

After counseling and coaching thousands of individuals, couples and families, I know the need.

After teaching, mentoring and facilitating hundreds of people for the last 35 years, I hear the call.

After listening and letting Spirit within guide my life for most of my life, I feel the importance.

And this is my way of responding to all of us for the Highest Good and finding a better way.

These reminders are intended to be practical; they are meant to be used everyday.

These reminders are intended to be inspirational; they are meant to move you into action.

These reminders are intended to be spiritual; they are meant to call you to return to what is meaningful.

These reminders are intended to be healing; they give insight, freedom to choose/change and peace.

For many, there is limited time and money, so these reminders offer help when you have need.

For some, there is hesitation in asking for help, so these reminders are an anonymous way to learn.

For others, there is denial of needing anything, and the reminders simply reawaken what is known.

For me, these reminders are a powerful way to connect, to touch you with my love for us all.

Yes, I Love You.

I love you when you are happy or sad, right or wrong, awakening or sleeping on the job.

I love you when you don’t love yourself or forget you are loveable and capable just as you are.

I love you when you are willing to do the work and when you get lazy and quit on yourself.

I am your Loving Reminder.

We can call it a Calling or Holy Assignment or just what I am here to do.

My intention is to facilitate all of us in playing our Part and living our potential in being all we can be.

Said in a thousand ways or no way at all…your healing and success and joy are a blessing for me.

So why would I sit at my computer every morning as my spiritual practice and joy…….??

Because of all this above and so much more.

You and I are One..

More than you can know, we are connected in Love.

Ask me your questions.

Give me your comments.

Share with me your gratitude.

And always know I am with you in Love.

Betty Lue