Sunday, July 09, 2023

Relationship Healing

SAVE YOURSELF FIRST.

THEN HELP OTHERS.

HEALING BEGINS WITHIN!


Affirmations:

I am here to love and heal what needs love.

I am responsible for the quality of my relationships.

I begin with treating myself with respect, trust, appreciation and love.

I want all my relationships to be treated well and so I treat them all with respect.


Heal Your Relationships! 


You heal your relationships by healing yourself.

All upset is a wakeup call.

Everything that is not right for you is calling you to look at your past for healing.

When you heal yourself, you realize others who are not OK are asking for help.


When I am not at peace with myself, it will show with others.

When I am unhappy, I will project it on others.

When I am disrespectful with me, I will disrespect others.

What is upsetting in me, I tend to project and perceive in others.


We project our healing needs onto others.

We give advice to others that we need to hear.

We blame others for what we have guilt about.

We seem to look for outside cause, rather than heal what is hurting within us.


When you complain, see what you can do within yourself to stop complaining.

When you are angry, consider what you can do to stop trying to hurt and blame others. 

When you are needy, ask yourself how you can fill your own needs.

When we depend on others to take care of us, we will have intermittent results.


When people love us, they can and will do it well when they are loving themselves well.

When people are feeling hurt, scared, upset, lonely, angry, they will have difficulty in loving anyone well.

It is essential that we learn to take responsibility for our needs and ask for help from those who are able.

We must learn to discern who is able and willing to be truly helpful for themselves and others.


We may find that unconditionally loving and giving people are rare in our experience.

We may see that we need to become unconditionally loving for others who are in need.

We may feel drained by helping needy others, especially when we have denied ourselves.

It is essential that we forgive ourselves for not respecting and loving ourselves well


What will it take for you to be responsible for your own needs?

What do you need to do to create partnerships, families and friendships that are healing and healthy?

What can you do to start everyday tuning into what you need and fulfilling that need first?

How do you love yourself everyday in every way you are aware?


Helpful Daily Practice:

When you awaken, ask yourself: “What do I need to do to fulfill myself today?”

What will make me feel happy and valuable today?”

“How can I give myself what is good for me?”

At the end of the day, give yourself a list of “gratitudes” and own them as your daily responsibility.


You have created your life as it is.

You can change your relationships, communication, thinking and emotions.

You can stop judging, blaming and feeling guilty.

You can let go of past errors and begin again today in the healthy and positive way.


You can, because you want to heal your relationship with yourself and with others.

I trust you and me to always look for the best ways to heal ourselves and others.

I give my best because you deserve it and so do I.

Betty Lue


Healing Relationships

You are responsible for your own happiness and inner peace.

Where we are upset (angry, hurt, afraid, judgmental), our past wounds (unhealed stuff) has been triggered.   

This shows us where we have work to do.

The usual relationship habit is to try to “fix” the other person, to get them to change or stop saying or doing what has upset us. 

This makes the other feel “wrong” and guilty and hurt and angry and inadequate. 

This only exaggerates the problem.  

It is ineffective over the long term.

The real work is to heal our own woundedness, to clear our own buttons and heal our history and forgive allowing anything or anyone to hurt us.  

When we have done our work, we can be truly effective, helpful and teach by example.

This is a big job.  

It cannot be done overnight, but takes constant practice.

We must first take good care of ourselves mentally, physically, and spiritually.  

Being conscious and taking impeccable care of ourselves is essential to quality relationships.

Begin now with learning to love, respect, trust and appreciate yourself.

The more you love, trust, respect and appreciate yourself, 

the more others will love, trust, respect and appreciate you.

The more you love, respect, trust and appreciate yourself, 

the more others will do the same for themselves and  for others.

You are the living example, the teacher, with everything you think, say and do.