Saturday, July 08, 2023

Dependence or Independence?





Love is Freedom.

I free you to be you.

Love is Trust.

I trust you to be who you are.

Dependence > Independence > Interdependence

Our basic human needs are survival, safety, love & belonging, esteem and self actualization.


We are a species born to be dependent on our parents, elders and teachers.

To survive we learn from observing, listening and as well as receiving sustenance and guidance.

We listen and follow instruction and learn through trial and error.

We learn to adapt to a variety of people who may teach us differently.

We seek approval and learn to please to get what we need and want.

When we discern what is valued by each adult/teacher/leader, we can accommodate.

We are valued for our obedience and our dependence, as we grow in self sufficiency.

In the beginning of our lives dependence can be fostered, ignored or discouraged by care givers.


When our ego is fed, we grow strong in confidence, assertiveness and decision-making.

Usually in the stage of adolescence or emancipation, we begin to assert our independence.

We choose alternative facts, experiences and creative competition to succeed in being best.

Our independence fosters creative problem-solving, innovation, and making decisions independently.

Independence is where we learn to take responsibility for successes and failures.

We learn to persist even when there are challenges, resistance and difficulties.

In the independent phase we learn to benefit rather than blame and to grow in courage.

The desire of independent adults is to “do it ourselves” without interference from authorities.


When we have mastered the basic human needs (above), we may return to seek interdependence.

In families, businesses, organizations, we seek to interact with others in a respectful and responsible way.

Our desire to cooperate encourages mutual benefit to all parties for win= win outcomes.

With an attitude based on the principles of being fair, caring and sharing, everyone benefits.

When everyone helps everyone succeed with no winners and losers, all persons become more conscious.

With mindfulness and consciousness following universal principles, everyone grows in understanding.

“Two become more than two” and ”One for All and All for One” is understood and actualized.

The experience of interdependence in unavailable until individual independence is achieved.

Consider where you are on your path to fulfillment and creative consciousness.

Consider what steps you need to take to be fully and freely independent.

Consider what individual basic needs you are called to fulfill first.

Understand where others are around you as you allow their personal journey.

There is freedom and trust, as we learn to accept ourselves in our own journey.

There is respect and allowance for others, as we let go of judgment and comparison.

There is creativity and diverse opportunities, as we allow ourselves to dream and vision.

There is enthusiasm and gratitude, as we step out in faith with daring and certainty.

Life is Good wherever we are in our own journey.

Loving, Trusting and Freeing us All.

Love works first for you and then for others,

Betty Lue