Monday, October 17, 2016

Relationship Clues and Queues

I choose to never quit on love.
I learn from every relationship.
I let go of what I judge that distracts me from compassion and peace.
Forgiveness is the key to happiness and allowing what is to be.

Understanding Relationships

We are all here to learn from our relationships.
There are as many beliefs about relationships as there are relationships.
Our learning is really always about what works for us and those we relate to.
Learning the language, attitudes and attachments is key to discerning what works.

We all have purpose and intention to our relationships, even if seemingly unconscious.
We each want something different to be experienced.
Most learn accidentally by what hurts and what feels good.
We usually develop our beliefs about right and wrong from the experiences we have.

Most relationship interactions are habitual or based on past learning.
When we experiences what is extraordinary or unusual, it is because it is unfamiliar.
If we all knew what feels good is right, we would agree on a universal paradigm.
If we all believed our relationship goal is to feel good and make others feel good, we would be content.

When we do not come from similar functional or dysfunction family systems, we disagree.
With disagreement about what is right, there is arguing and trying to change one another.
Often people base lifetime relationships on making each wrong and trying to fix the other.
The arguing and criticism is to build a case for our own position.

All criticism is about the critic.
What people say when they accuse and blame is really about themselves as much as the other.
Within all blame are the beliefs, thoughts and feelings the critic has about themselves.
Take a deeper look and you will see the projection of your own feelings onto the other.

We can only see what comes from our own experience.
We learn from all relationships by what we react to and what upsets us.
Our touchy spots and upsets come from our own life experience and what we “make up” is right.
We can identify our attachments, fears and judgments by what hurts or upsets us.

In most cases, we are upset by leftover wounds from our early childhood.
We all learned from our experience what would work and was “right” and what was “wrong”.
In some cases we are upset by the values we learned being neglected or opposed.
At other times we are hurt because we feel dismissed, ignored, lied to or betrayed.

When we are hurt or upset by anyone, it means we have some self-healing to do.
With all relationships we are meant to learn, help and heal ourselves.
Our responsibility is to become aware of how to find happiness and inner peace.
We are here to take impeccable care of our selves and what we value.

Relationships show us what we need to learn.
Relationships show us where we need to become more aware.
Relationships demonstrate what we need to heal within ourselves.
Relationships are a barometer of our willingness to forgive and respect others.

I honor all relationships for they show me how to Love.
Loving You,
Betty Lue

The Paradoxical Commandments—original version by Kent M. Keith

1.   People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
      Love them anyway.

2.   If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
      Do good anyway.

3.   If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.
      Succeed anyway.

4.   The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
      Do good anyway.

5.   Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
      Be honest and frank anyway.

6.   The biggest men with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men with the smallest minds.
      Think big anyway.

7.   People favor underdogs, but follow only top dogs.
      Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

8.   What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
      Build anyway.

9.   People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
      Help people anyway.

10. Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
      Give the world the best you have anyway.