Thursday, January 08, 2015

Communication Changes Relationships!

Communication  (See communication workshops in menu bar to the left)
See Successful Communication Keys below!
Request audio link to the series of communication workshops we are offering in Jan. and Feb.

Communication changes your mind.
Communication changes your life.
Communications changes your emotions.
Communication changes your relationships.

If you want your relationships to get better, change your tone of voice.
If you want your relationship to be more kind, change the words you use.
If you want your relationships to be respectful, communicate with respect.
If you want your relationships to create more cooperation, listen and be open.

There are many habits people learn from their family of origin.
These habits become expectations or taken for granted, as the way people communicate.
To undo unconscious habits requires giving full attention to learning a better way.
To clear the past dysfunction requires conscious willingness and open-mindedness.

We must genuinely want to find a better way.
We must be clear about what we really want.
We must commit to learn and practice new habits.
We must take the time to stop the old unhealthy ways.

Fighting, arguing and raising one’s voice is unnecessary in healthy relationships.
When we are respectful and self responsible, we can easily share thoughts and feelings.
When we are upset, unsafe or stressed, we need to step away and calm ourselves first.
When we understand that all upsets are wakeup calls, we become aware of what will work.

Positive communication is effective when we are consistent.
Negative communication engenders guilt, anger, shame, withdrawal and more negatives.
Blaming and shaming creates guilt.
Guilt causes withdrawal to separate from guilt or blame and attack to project the guilt outward.

When we learn to communicate effectively, we step away from negativity and find a better way.
When we are clear about what is the call for love, we easily respond with Love and kindness.
When we feel what is really needed by others, we clear the fear, anger, hurt and upset.
Communication is most effective when all parties feel safe and calm and respected.

We communicate at our best when we take impeccable care of ourselves.
It is essential to listen and honor your own needs and respond respectfully to your own feelings.
It is impossible to understand another when we do not understand or honor ourselves.
Healthy communication requires we have a healthy kind relationship with ourselves.

Communication is key to all healthy respectful and responsible relationships.
Loving us all as we learn together.
Betty Lue

Successful Communication Keys:

Calm tone of voice and be on the same level.
Ask permission to speak
Tune in to where they are with desire to understand.
Give what will create the greatest safety and respect.
Talk with kindness and in private.
Step away until both parties are calm.  Use time-outs as needed.
Defuse the stress, urgency and upset, before attempting to talk.
Be clear when you don’t have time or patience to listen.
Write communication to avoid confrontations and arguments.
Allow all parties time to think about their needs and possible equitable solutions.
Encourage using “I feel….., I want…… and I am willing………
Seek cooperative agreement, rather than punishment, threat or demand.
Open your heart to understand (“Walk in their shoes”)
Choose an outcome where everyone wins.

More ideas in the workshops……. ( listen on audio)