Wednesday, January 07, 2015

Words Matter

I delete all negative communication and send positives.
I forgive any mistake I make with my words.
I quickly listen and respond with words that heal.
I choose to speak with a kind and respectful intention.

Relationship and Parenting Communication Reminders below!!
Come to, or listen on line to our parenting, relationship and family communication workshops in January and February!!

Words can heal.
Words can hurt.
Words can connect.
Words can disconnect.

Listen closely first.
Listen for the true intention.
Seek for love.
Seek for the call for love.

Where there is lack of love, there is fear.
When there is hurt expressed, there is hurt within.
When there is fear expressed, there is fear within.
When there is anger expressed, there is fear and hurt within.

When we listen to words, we must be aware of what is beneath them.
When we hear words of anger, fear and hurt, there is call for love.
When we allow the anger, fear and hurt to penetrate, we react with anger, fear and hurt.
When we love and forgive consistently, we always respond with love.

Be aware of what is being said.
Be aware of what is the need.
Be aware of what is true.
Be aware of what you can do.

In families, friendships or change encounters, words are shared.
Use your words wisely and with clear intention.
When you hear words, listen with compassion.
Use your heart to hear the deeper calling.

Respond with Love.
Stop reacting with Fear.
Response with an open mindedness.
Stop reacting with defensiveness.

Time to change the verbal messages we share with others.
Stop looking for what is wrong and seeking what is right.
Time to eliminate negative reactions and respond with willingness to be helpful.
Take nothing personally and always give your best.

Give yourself time outs to center yourself.
Give yourself love and appreciation to fill yourself.
Forgive yourself to give yourself with good intentions.
And remember you are here to teach and learn, give and receive.

Be open and willing to be your best and always Good will follow.
Trusting we are all doing our best with what we know.
Betty Lue

Parenting and Relationship Communication Reminders.

From Dr. Wayne Dyer
What Do You Want More Than Anything For Your Children?

•           Value Themselves
•           Be Risk Takers
•           Self-Reliance
•           Freedom from Stress and Anxiety
•           Have Peaceful Lives
•           Celebrate Present Moments
•           Experience a Lifetime of Wellness
•           Creativity
•           Fulfill Their Higher Needs
•           Feel A Sense of Purpose
YOU must Demonstrate / Model:
• The ability to enjoy life.

• Be a positive example.

• Clarify what you know and how you feel.

• Be expressive (Feel–Want–Willing)

Average children do things right.
No limit children do the right thing.

Basic Principles for Building Self-Esteem in Your Children
1.         You must model self-respect.
2.         Treat each child as a unique individual.
3.         A child is not his actions.
4.         Provide opportunities to be responsible and make decisions.
5.         Teach enjoyment of life each day.
6.         Provide praise rather than criticism.
7          We become what we think about. Our thinking determines our self-image.

To Raise A Child’s Self-Portrait (Self-Image)
1.         Encourage children to be risk-takers rather than always taking the safe road.
2.         Discourage children from all self put downs.
3.         Reduce emphasis on external measures of success.
4.         Work at reducing whining and complaining behavior.
5.         Encourage excitement about everything in life.
6.         Encourage children to choose independence rather than dependence.
7.         Teach children to be non-judgmental.
8.         Encourage children to be honest with themselves.
9.         Be aware in the importance of appearance to young people.
10.       Encourage healthy thinking.
11.       Catch children doing something right. Remind them of how terriffic they are.
12.       Treat children as total and complete, now.
13.       Hold them, touch them, kiss them.
14.       Listen carefully to your children.
15.       Give them opportunities to be unique.
16        Encourage their friends to “hang out” at your home.
17.       Read aloud with them at all ages.
18.       Be involved in their age-related activities.

Unhealthy Communication Habits
Do Not:
Interrupt or chime in without receiving permission.
Judge what others are saying.
Believe your ideas are more important.
Disagree or correct what others are saying.

Toxic thoughts, words and actions must be dumped in safe ways.
Never puke and poop on people.
What is hurtful and makes up sick must be released in private dumping grounds.
Learn to flush the toilet, write it and burn it, let it go to do no harm.

Most Destructive Blocks to Healthy Communication
1) Nagging and Criticism ( Use constructive requests and be specific.)

2) Defensiveness (Listen and make no excuses.)

3) Contempt with Name-Calling, Belittling and Shaming (No using guilt or blame.)

4) Stone-Walling, Ignoring and silent treatment  (Talk or write when calm.)

5) Belligerence, Threatening, Demanding  

Forgive yourself for using power to get your way.

Keys to Successful Relationships ( Constructive choices)

Join with Love and Respect-Create a common vision or shared goal.

Honesty with compassion and kindness- Communicate your highest intention.

Equality in Realizing the Good in All-Each give the best they know in each moment.

Commitment to Healing and Wholeness- Agree to what is highest and best for both.

Responsibility- Respond to everything with forgiveness and peace.
Listen without guilt or blame. Be willing to let go and choose again for Love.

Healthy Habits
Listen with an open and quiet mind.
Wait your turn to speak.
Appreciate what others say.
Honor all differences.
Respect everyone’s communication.
Seek to understand before being understood.
Put first things first.
Make Happy  before being Right!

Dare to live your true purpose.
True prosperity comes from purposeful living and giving.

Betty Lue