Parents and significant caregivers from birth imprint children with attitudes, beliefs and behaviors.
We develop programs, expectations and tendencies based on what we saw, felt and heard.
We make choices in life for friend, jobs, habits that either are similar or opposing our parents.
When life choices are guided unconsciously by what is known we usually do not consider anything different.
Eating and sleeping habits, confidence, expectations about relationships, ways of thinking, speaking and behaving, choice for work and play, interests, propensity toward abilities and disabilities, and more all are impacted by those we admire, associate with and are guided by. Even the timeline for unexpected events often fits with the patterns we experience as children. How we react and respond to negative and positive experiences are usually connected with what we have seen and experienced as very young children.
If parents do not behave as adults with respect, responsibility and cooperation, we have no teachers.
If parents are responsible, capable and confident, we can copy what we see and hear and feel.
If parents are punitive, judgmental and negative, we find ourselves doing the same to ourselves.
If parents are appreciative, helpful and positive, we are unfamiliar with negative feedback.
When the family system or culture in which we are raised sees us as healthy, responsible and strong, we often continue to make choices to support this self image, whether bad or good.
Only with conscious awareness of this imprinting, patterning or programming, can we choose again.
It is essential to see what we believe about ourselves and to erase the pattern to choose differently.
Forgiveness and affirmations are highly effective in transforming our choices and our lives.
Parents:
Be aware that the behaviors and words which children use are simply copies of what they have learned from you, from TV and from other people. Children copy us. The way they grow up is to play act, dress up and act out “”grown up” stuff. Children feel what their parents believe and feel about them. They internalize those thoughts about themselves and live out what we expect. If you want your kids to grow up respectful, responsible, capable and cooperative, you as adults, need to do the same. Change your mind, your words and behavior about yourself and your children. Forgive yourself and you will set them free.
My parents never praised or criticized me: they simply loved me unconditionally.
They loved me with acts of service, setting positive example, and including me in decision-making and adult responsibilities as an equal member of our family.
I grew up never praising or criticizing myself.
I simply love myself and others through acts of service and setting a positive example.
I love, trust, respect and believe in others and expect them to make adult decisions which benefit others.
My life is very much like my parents without the limitations they may have placed on themselves.
They saw me as unlimited and capable and able to do and be whatever I desired.
They had faith that I was guided by God, a gift of God’s Love to humanity, and so I am called to be.
I have been imprinted, programmed and patterned by a family system and culture that demonstrated the highest principles and reached out with loving service and meaningful work everyday to benefit others.
I challenge parents and grandparents, caregivers and teachers, all of us, to change what we think and say and do.
I invite you to clear the past patterns and limiting programmed beliefs.
I encourage you to change your mind about yourself and your life.
Now is the time to choose to do the best we can imagine and even more.
Loving you in loving you.
Your love for your True Self will change the world.
Betty Lue
Some Rules to Help Everyone Grow Up: ( For Parents and Kids)
Feed Body and Mind Healthy Stuff.
Watch and listen to positive and healthy people, media, sights and sounds.
Stay clean in thoughts, words and behavior.
Leave every place and person better than your found it.
Clean up after yourself. (Acknowledge and forgive your mistakes.)
Finish what you start and/or put it away.
Work everyday to provide, protect, nurture and nourish yourself.
Express gratitude to yourself and others for jobs well done.
Go to bed * (early enough so you can wake up naturally) with everything in order & complete.
Rest or play, when your work is done.
Take care of your own mental, emotional and physical needs.
Know how to cook, clean, do laundry, pay bills, live simply.
Take care of your own needs for money. Barter, volunteer, contribute and do meaningful work.
When feeling sorry for yourself, do something helpful for someone else.
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Depending on your age and ability, you may do less or differently than others.
Everyone can be helpful.
Even little children can help with laundry, cleaning, picking up their toys.
Everyone is far more capable than our fearful culture seems to allow.
Encourage everyone to do their fair share and a little more.
If people complain they are can’t, ask them what they need to do for themselves.
Be appreciative for every time people do their part and a little more.
Never complain about how much is needed. Do not use guilt to motivate.
Guilt creates resistance, withdrawal or blame.
Use only validation and appreciation to inspire and motivate and encourage.
- Rules to Live Strong and Prosper
- Never ask someone to do for you, what you can do for yourself.
- Take care of your own needs with gratitude and joy.
- Teach children and others using positive reinforcement rather than threats and punishment.
- Make people feel proud of themselves when they work, give, help and serve.
- Encourage everyone to do their work first and then relax and play.
- (Families that work together, play together and stay together.)
- Express appreciation, respect and kindness openly and honestly.
- Always say, Please and thank you, when you ask and receive.
- Give to others what you want to have in your world.
- Clean up your relationships, your home, work, environment and finances every day.
- Make everything better, and you will be happy.