This Sunday at Unity Center for Inspired Living in Brentwood, I will be speaking on: Path of the Family.
You can listen to all our Sunday talks at InspiredLivingCenter.org under Past Talks.
A family is a group of people who are called together to love, protect and provide for the safety, security, socialization needs of one another. Most families appear to be dysfunctional, often providing unsafe, insecure and anti-social environments and behaviors for one another. When children grow up feeling unsafe, insecure and lack healthy social experiences, they do not know how to offer them to their own families….
What does it mean to be safe?
What does it take to feel secure?
What are healthy social interactions?
How do we provide these for one another in our family structure?
Our children need to feel safe, secure with opportunities to socialize within their own family system.
To feel safe, we need to know we can share our thoughts, feeling and behaviors without being hurt.
To feel safe, we need to know our basic needs for food, shelter and rest will be provided.
To feel safe, we need to be reassured that we will not be harmed within our homes and schools.
Our children need to feel secure.
To feel secure, we need to know we will not be rejected, neglected or abandoned.
To feel secure, we need to know that adults will we there for us if we have need.
To feel secure, we need to know our parents feel secure within their marriage and work place.
Our children need to experience healthy social interactions.
To socialize in healthy ways, we need to have friends with whom we talk and share.
To socialize well, we need to have people listen to us without interruption and talk with us.
To socialize well, we need to have social experiences with strangers as well as family members.
What happened to the family structure?
Are we remember how to love one another?
Do we know how to listen to each other?
Are we having fun together or is it all work?
Family reminders of what can work again.
- Taking special time with each person, quality one on one time.
- All participating in a family project that is happy and positive.
- Playing family games or a family outing weekly.
- Time everyday to converse as a group around meal lime or before bed.
- Happy greetings every morning and every night before bedtime.
- Talking with everyone respectfully, No yelling, threatening or complaining.
- Adults treating one another with caring, kindness, appreciation and respect.
- Celebrating the achievements of one another with sincere congratulations.
- No TV, videos, internet, phone and business, except during limited hours.
- Prioritize family time without alcohol or other interference with positive interactions.
- Moderation in all behaviors with no hurtful words or behaviors.
- Strengthen each family member by giving them as much responsibility as they can handle.
- Ensure every person feels as an equal and important to the whole, elders and kids included.
Without a safe, secure and healthy family structure, there are difficulties in other interactions.
Everyone needs sound functional family relationships to function well on a worldly level.
Now is the time to begin finding a balance in all our relationships by treating others as capable.
We can each make a change in how we relate to everyone we meet, at home, at work and in the world.
Loving us all as we make begin to bring healthy family structure into our daily lives.
You can build a family everywhere you go.
Loving us as One Family,
Betty Lue
Recommendations for Successful Relationships
Recommendations for Successful Relationships
With mates, partners, friends, children, co-workers, etc.
Keep your agreements faithfully.
(Communicate changes honestly and immediately.)
Give more than you expect to receive.
Do more than your “fair” share.
Receive everything with open appreciation.
Express your thanks sincerely and take nothing for granted.
Live your own life in integrity and on purpose.
Clarify, communicate and live your mission, your path, your principles and values.
Be responsible for yourself, your work and live your life impeccably.
Don’t expect others to pick up after you or take care of you.
Stop using, blame, criticism or guilt to control or manipulate.
Stop making demands, threats or using neediness to get your way.
Communicate effectively and respectfully.
Request a time and place and tone of voice that works for both parties.
Be your best self in all circumstances.
Focus always on teaching by example. (and apologize immediately when you forget or neglect.)
Use your time together wisely.
Focus on meaningful, positive and inspiring conversation and activities.
Spend time, money, energy and resources only on what you value and want to increase.
Waste nothing in your relationship. No arguing, pettiness, emotional dumping or negativity.
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There are many more agreements which I encourage you and your partner to write together.
I encourage all parties to take time to re-evaluate your agreements monthly or on a regular basis.
As circumstances change, there is a need to re-commit to what works for all participants.
Families need to meet to look at the specific needs of each individual to be at their best.
Couples need to ensure that the relationship is “serving all parties.
Business partners need to return to their original agreement and consider changing roles as needed.
Life requires that we be in relationship.
With respect for ourselves and each other there is open communication.
With responsibility for the quality of our relationships, there is a willingness to seek what works for all.
With cooperation there is encouragement to listen for ways to serve the needs of everyone.
When everyone WINS, the relationships are harmonious, peaceful and enjoyable.
Blessings to us all in our willingness to continue to explore and find better ways of relating,
Betty Lue