Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Seeking Advice and Help

When you need information, advice or help always go to the one who knows, one who cares, one who has been there, one who has succeeded and learned and one who believes in you.

We may go to someone for help because they are comfortable.
We may go to someone because they will agree with us.
We may go to someone because they give advice free.
We may go to someone because they are available and convenient.
We may go to someone because they are friend or family.

I see people get distracted, detoured and delayed in their healing and learning process because they seek help for the wrong reasons from the wrong people.

If you feel like quitting, you may have sought counsel from a quitter.
If you feel angry, you may have sought advice from a resentful person.
If you feel discouraged, you may have gone to a depressed person.
If you feel confused, you may have gone to a conflicted helper.
We usually seek help from someone who will give us what we want and expect.

If you don't like the results, recognize your error, let go and choose again.

If you want new ideas, go to someone with creative possibilities.
If you want hope and energy, ask someone who is hopeful, positive and enthusiastic.
If you want information and education, choose an adviser who is well informed and always learning.
If you want listening, support and kind encouragement, choose someone who has those qualities.
If you want your advisor to give you something specific, ask if they are willing and capable.
The more you get clear about what kind of help and advice you need, the more likely you will receive it.

If you seek many opinions, notice the source of their opinions?
Do people advise you from their life history, their feelings and beliefs, their best guess,
their study and research or their intuition and inner guidance?
Are your advisors walking with you or do they stand by the sidelines and tell you what to do.
Do your helpers understand you and your specific needs or are they viewing your process from their own perspective?
Do you feel energized or defeated by what they tell you?
Do you seek for more or want to do it yourself?

Authority issues come from our dependence or rejection of parental authority.
You are author of your own life, your own choices, your own direction and success, as an adult.
When you seek external authority, you are relinquishing your right and responsibility to choose.
When you seek external direction, you are inviting your inner child to rebel and reject or to conform and become dependent.
You may seek outside or human help, but always remember that you are in co-creative partnership with those whom you invite to serve, counsel, listen, support, heal, help and guide you.
What you contribute is vital in creating your desired outcome.
Every helper or advisor needs to know your desire clearly.
You need to withhold nothing.
You need to see yourself as equal, committed and responsible for yourself, your communication and your choices.
Remember to choose again when and if your choice does not support you, the real You, the healthy you.

I am here for each one of us to respect ourselves, take fully responsibility for our choices and to learn to cooperate with life.
Betty Lue