Monday, March 07, 2005

In Trouble or Distress?

What do you want when you are in need?
Sympathy, compassion, listening, questions, caring, sharing, empathy, solutions, advice?
Each one of us wants something unique to our situation and familiarity.

“I want to be seen as whole, not to be helped or taken care of, not to be questioned or advised.”

Some people want to receive sympathy, when there is a difficulty.
Tell them how sorry you are and offer your condolences and join them in feeling bad.
Some people want your help and support, feeling better knowing that you are there.
Give them your phone number, let them know they can call you anytime for help.
Some people want to be able to talk about the distress.
Ask them questions and listen attentively. Give them your time and your concern.
Some people want advice and solutions.
Take time to find out the symptoms and give them the best information you have gathered.
Some people want you to let them know you care.
Just be present, if they want to share and pay attention with faith and hope and love.
Some people want to be held in high esteem, believing in their courage, commitment and choices.
Just see them with respect, admiration and appreciation and they blossom in your trust and Light.

Some people love to compare their troubles with others.
Some use others’ troubles to talk about theirs.
Some people want to be let off the hook by gaining sympathy.
Some people want to be seen as special and get attention.
Some people want someone to take care of them.
Some people are desperate for a solution.

Be careful, before you give what you would want.
Stop yourself, until you find out what they want.
Take time to listen and hear what they say.
Ask directly, before you give unsolicited advice.
Recognize that our life experiences are not accidents, but unconscious choices.

Each upset, trouble or distress is a challenge from which to learn and grow.
Everyone has a right and an opportunity to learn in their own way and own timing.
It is best to mind our own business, unless we are invited to assist by an inner call or by the person.
It is respectful to honor the privacy and particular needs of those for whom the trouble seems great.
Remember what seems difficult to one may not be hard for the one who is experiencing the problem.

Listening and loving,
Betty Lue

I usually wait until I am asked for help.
I then listen to what is being asked for.
I respond always with love and faith in the Highest Outcome.