Friday, September 11, 2015

Rules and Guidelines

I remember how to be innocent by being with innocence.
I learn how to forgive by being with those who forgive.
I learn how to follow rules and guidelines by being with those who follow rules and guidelines.
I learn respect, responsibility and cooperation from those who are respectful, responsible and cooperative.

Rules and Guidelines

Everyone benefits from simple routine and structure.
Children need defined rules and guidelines.
Humanity needs to learn what is right and good.
Families function better with simple rules for all.

When home life is peaceful and organized, everyone benefits.
When there is respectful interaction, everyone benefits.
When there are no demands or threats, everyone feels safe.
When families are respectful, responsible and cooperative, everyone feels loved.

Children learn more easily with system, structure and routine.
There is more focus and less distraction.
There is more quiet and less yelling.
There is more respect and less arguing.

As grandparents of toddlers, children and teens, we never experience arguments or disrespect.
The key for us is to treat everyone, as we want to be treated.
We respect ourselves and are responsible for what we do and say.
We take care of each other, our relationships and home.

We, the adults, set a good example consistently.
There is please and thank you for everyone.
There is no arguing or fighting.
There is no swearing or negative behavior.
There is no yelling or demanding.
There are respectful requests.
There is kindness and consideration of each individual.
There is simple routine morning and evening.
There are respectful guidelines for others who come into our home.
No yelling and no rough-housing. 
Anyone who needs to yell or run around or wrestle can go outside to do it.
Children pick up after themselves at the end of the day.
We all keep our home orderly and organized.
Meals are together at the table.
Bedtime is at 9 PM after dessert and a fun movie or game together.
People respect one another because that keeps the peace with no yelling or arguing.
When adults remind the children (rarely needed), little needs to be said. (Ie “Bathroom light?”)

Children behave as the adults in their presence expect them to behave.
Children respond to the adults as they are taught to respond.
Children copy adult behavior and learn from how adults respond.
Children observe and learn what works and maintain the most effective behavior.

Adults must pay attention to what they are thinking, doing and saying.
Children pick up on subtleties in tone, attitude, feelings and listen to adult conversations for cues.
Children are extremely sensitive and perceptive and practice whatever gets the love and safety they want.
Children seek to be successful in getting their own needs met.

When adults are clear and concise in their requests, children learn the first time.
When children are distracted, confused or forgetful, they may not get the message.
It is important for adults to pay attention and learn how children learn best.
Nagging, criticizing, ridiculing, threatening or shaming are not effective with children or adults

Adults need to learn what works best to raise the children we want to live with.
I am learning everyday from all the people in my life, both children and adults.
Loving to learn,
Betty Lue

If Children (and Adults) Live With……….

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with: criticism, hostility, fear, pity, ridicule or jealousy,

They will learn to: condemn, fight, be apprehensive, feel sorry for themselves, feel shy and feel envy. 

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and others.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.


From Dr. Wayne Dyer
What Do You Want More Than Anything For Your Children?

•           Value Themselves
•           Be Risk Takers
•           Self-Reliance
•           Freedom from Stress and Anxiety
•           Have Peaceful Lives
•           Celebrate Present Moments
•           Experience a Lifetime of Wellness
•           Creativity
•           Fulfill Their Higher Needs
•           Feel A Sense of Purpose

YOU must Demonstrate / Model:

• The ability to enjoy life.

• Be a positive example.

• Clarify what you know and how you feel.

• Be expressive (Feel–Want–Willing)

Average children do things right.
No limit children do the right thing.

Basic Principles for Building Self-Esteem in Your Children

1.         You must model self-respect.
2.         Treat each child as a unique individual.
3.         A child is not his actions.
4.         Provide opportunities to be responsible and make decisions.
5.         Teach enjoyment of life each day.
6.         Provide praise rather than criticism.
7          We become what we think about. Our thinking determines our self-image.

To Raise A Child’s Self-Portrait (Self-Image)
1.         Encourage children to be risk-takers rather than always taking the safe road.
2.         Discourage children from all self put downs.
3.         Reduce emphasis on external measures of success.
4.         Work at reducing whining and complaining behavior.
5.         Encourage excitement about everything in life.
6.         Encourage children to choose independence rather than dependence.
7.         Teach children to be non-judgmental.
8.         Encourage children to be honest with themselves.
9.         Be aware in the importance of appearance to young people.
10.       Encourage healthy thinking.
11.       Catch children doing something right. Remind them of how terriffic they are.
12.       Treat children as total and complete, now.
13.       Hold them, touch them, kiss them.
14.       Listen carefully to your children.
15.       Give them opportunities to be unique.
16        Encourage their friends to “hang out” at your home.
17.       Read aloud with them at all ages.
18.       Be involved in their age-related activities.