Friday, February 18, 2005


Random Acts of Kindness defines friendship for me.
This is the week of Loving relationships and random acts of Kindness.
Often I don’t see and may have never met my “friends”.
I have “friends” all over the world who may not even know me.

Robert, my life partner and husband, has lived in 56 home in 56 years, the longest being in Kalamazoo, MI where we lived and loved and built spiritual community for 4 years 3 months, training and ordaining 21 Living Ministers of Reunion. In our 20 years of marriage we have lived in 14 homes and five states.

I have lived in over 40 different homes, when I count my early childhood moves. If lived in one family home or community, you may have sustained lifetime friendships and family relationships. I have known hundreds of brief friendships, some intense and some casual, some helpful and some offering powerful learning. I have not attended a class reunion nor maintained childhood friendships because I have lived in many states. Even the college I attended, Antioch in Ohio, offered a work study program with changing locations every 3-6 months. When I move, I have all boxes unpacked and pictures hung within 3-5 days, because I want to be settled in my home sanctuary.

In the Enneagram definition of instinctual subtypes, I am global or social in orientation looking out for the greater good of All, rather than one on one relational or self preservation focusing on significant friends or self care. My primary way of receiving and giving love are acts of service (not gifts, quality time, affection or verbal affirmation.) This means I feel loved and experience friendship, when people are performing acts of service for others and joining me in my service. In other words when anyone performs random acts of kindness, I feel loved and I feel friendship or kindred spirits.

What is true for me:
I have friends in every nation, every walk of life, and feel connected with every community of people who love unconditionally, serves from their heart and remember the God and the Good in all creation. Whether I am meeting someone for the first time or have not seen you for years, I am the same, authentic and unconditional presence, willing to offer my best self to all. No matter the external personality changes which might seem to interfere with communication, I trust in True our inner connection and Union wherever we are, whatever we are doing for the good of all. Because of my mobility, I can easily be “on-call” for God and in service wherever I Am. I am not attached to the comings and goings of individuals, or the gain and loss of place, identity or material goods. I am free to love each one I am with.
God is my source and lives in each person, each place and each Holy moment. So I am connected and at home.

What seems to separate people are our judgments and our fears.
What seems to unify people is our loving and kindness toward one another.
When we are living loving God and Goodness and extending peace to one another, we are all friends. When we forget, we feel lonely, isolated and without friendship.

Ask yourself how you define and design your friendships.
What are your expectations for friends to give and receive?
Who are your friends and how do you show them you value your relationship?
(With gifts, loving words, affection, service or quality time?)
Where are you at home, feeling safe and healed and whole?
To whom do you offer random acts of kindness?

You are my True Friend now and always,
Betty Lue