Sunday, August 01, 2021

Be The Adult!


I no longer need approval from others. I now approve of myself.

I am highly pleasing to myself in the presence of _________.

I trust and respect myself, therefore I treat others with trust and respect.

The more I respect myself and others, the more they learn to respect me.

I am control my emotions by choosing the thoughts I think.

I behave as a responsible and respectful adult with self control and self discipline.

Stop…. Breathe….. Step Away.

When there is a problem or upset, what works?

When you react with anger, what can you do?

When you make things worse, what is a better strategy?

When you feel out of control, what is effective?

When you feel the problem coming on, stop yourself.

Take a few deep breaths to pause and clear your thoughts.

Step away enough to see the problem without emotion.

When you are able to be neutral, factual and adult, you return.

Our work as adults is to be informed.

Our work is to be able to see and think and speak clearly.

Our work is to be a safe place to understand  and respond with respect.

Our work is to know better and do better.

What is your goal in all situations?

Is your goal to be helpful or be right?

Is your goal to help or to hinder?

Is your goal to respect or to bully?

If you have learned to use power, you will use threats.

If you have learned manipulation, you will use guilt.

If you have learned to be “nice”, you will use bribes.

If you have learned to be resourceful, you will be tricky. 

Whether dealing with a stranger or family member, you must know your desired outcome.

Without a clear goal, we are tempted to just flounder around trying to get our way.

Without a clear end in mind, you may allow the other to lead the dance.

Without a vision of respect, responsibility and cooperation, you may create more mess.

What brings on anger are feelings of powerlessness, helplessness, fear and confusion.

“When in doubt, have a temper tantrum.”

When in fear, get angry.”

When upset, scare yourself and the other with your rage.”

Childish behavior escalates the problem.

Childish behavior fuels the emotional upset.

Childish behavior uses whatever tactics seem to get attention.

Childish behavior often brings out the worst in the other.

The adult clears themselves before they engage in resolving the issue.

The adult stops their emotional reactions.

The adult takes a pause to clear negative thoughts and harmful emotions.

The adult steps away for the situation to get a new perspective and optimum response.

To be adult is to be wise and open-minded.

To be adult is to be respectful and responsible.

To be adult is to be willing and able.

To be adult is to listen with patience and acceptance.

To be adult is to be safe and non-judging.

To be adult is to want the optimum win/win solution.

To be adult is to care enough to share your desire for what is fair.

Adult Behavior:

Stop emotional reactions.  (Don’t say something hurtful to you or the other.)

Breathe to clear your mind.  (Pause for a few seconds/minutes.  Take a time out!)

Step away to see clearly. (Find a new perspective and goal for win/win solution.)

Listen for your real needs.  ( Listen without judgment or prejudice to what is needed.) 

Set a goal for win/win solution. ( Choose to be a safe place for peaceful resolution.)

Learn to appreciate yourself. (Appreciate every learning and successful experience.)

Trusting you to find a Better Way!

Betty Lue