Saturday, July 22, 2017

Who Comes First?

Affirmations:
Love is letting go of fear. 
Love is freedom and trust.
Trust in your own healing process.
Allow others to have their own healing process.

Who Comes First?

You cannot help another unless you have helped yourself.
You cannot save anyone unless you can save yourself.
You cannot fully love anyone unless you are loving you.
You cannot be there for another until you have learned to be there for you.

Do you ever ask yourself what is true for you?
What have you learned from your life?
What do you want to experience in your life?
What are you willing to do to have what you want?

It is unhealthy to keep doing the same thing and expect a different result.
It is unhealthy to keep complaining about the same issues.
It is unhealthy to try to get someone else to change.
It is unhealthy to focus on another’s happiness before you change your own unhappiness.

The only life you have to save is yours.
The only complaints you need to address are yours.
The only way to see a change is within yourself.
What creates more happiness is focusing on your own happiness and well being.

So why do you stay?
Why do your complain?
Why do you care?
And what do you care about….if not yourself?

If you are in an unhealthy relationship, choose again.
Are you trying to fix someone else?
Are you there to change the other person?
Are you there because you love another more than yourself?

Women (or men) who love too much often blame themselves for their partner’s unhappiness.
Women (and Men) often sacrifice to make someone else happy.
They often do not see this as co dependent behavior, encouraging the other to be dependent.
They don’t notice they have conditioned their partner to complain to get attention.

What can you do to teach others to take responsibility for themselves?
What can you do to show others how to be responsible for their own happiness?
What is the best way to demonstrate happiness to someone else?
Be happy and responsible for yourself!

If you take on the others hurt, pain, fear and anger, , it becomes yours.
If you empathize with another’s unhappiness, you will feel like it is yours to fix, heal and change.
If you take the blame and feel guilty, you will believe it is your responsibility.
This becomes your own false belief, erroneous fear, and will tend to lead to resentment.

Your work is to step away, detach and stop allowing anyone to hurt you or make you unhappy.

It is about time to love yourself and be happy.
Loving you,
Betty Lue


From Louise Hay ©1988 
HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF 

1. STOP ALL CRITICISM
Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.
2. 
DON’T SCARE YOURSELF
Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It’s a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.
3. 
BE GENTLE AND KIND AND PATIENT
Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.
4. 
PRAISE YOURSELF
 Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.
5. 
BE KIND TO YOUR MIND
 Self hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.
6. 
SUPPORT YOURSELF
 Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.
7. 
BE LOVING TO YOUR NEGATIVES
 Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So, lovingly release the old negative patterns.
8. 
TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY
 Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.
9. 
MIRROR WORK
 Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them too. At least once a day say: “I love you, I really love you!”
10. 
LOVE YOURSELF...DO IT NOW
 Don’t wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship. Begin now, and do the best you can.