Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Parenting Today

I take time to listen and respect what others want.
I acknowledge I don’t know what is best for others.
I forgive my mistakes and choose with more mindfulness.
I pay attention and learn from everyone, no matter what their age.

The answers below can be applied to all ages, even ourselves! 

Kids Are Obvious.

Is anyone paying attention?
Their behavior communicates, if we are paying attention.
If we cannot understand, are we willing to listen?
If they do not do what we ask, do we take the time to care?

My first response to a Mom who is dealing with a 4 yr. old who throws fits.

Kids copy what they see and hear.
What does he see?
What does he hear?
Is he being treated fairly and respectfully?

Start with the basics.
Where has he learned the behavior he displays?
Who listens to him?
How do the adults in his life respond to him?

Where and with whom does he “throw a fit?
Always look to yourself and see what you can do different.
Start here and then begin to look at what he needs more of.
Structure is important and so is freedom.

Being responsble is important and so is making good choices.
Can he choose what he wants to eat and wear and do?
Is he doing what is age appropriate?
Does he need something different than you or day care provides?

This behavior is also seen in rebellious teens and argumentive adults.
We often experience the same behavior in kids 13-14, ten years later.
It is normal to try to become more free and independent.
It is beneficial to learn to make your own decisions.

Kids may need guidance to make good decisions and do the right thing.
Kids of every age need positive role models and good opportunities to make good choices.
Kids must be treated with respect and given responsibilities appropriate for their age.
Parents often are unaware of what fits their child’s level of development.  (See responsibility list below)

My mom believed, “ Give everyone (kids) as much responsibility as they can handle plus a little more to grow into!”
I believe we tend to underestimate our kids and treat them in ways that limit their decision-making.
When they get “free” of adult authority, they either act out and go crazy or are afraid and shut down.
Our work is to make the next generation, stronger and healthier, more conscious, caring and capable.

Let’s consider what we want for the next generation and give them the opportunity to be their best.
Consciously and respectfully, 
Betty Lue