Affirmations:
I affirm everyone’s right to choose what is best for them.
I support always and only win-win solutions.
I teach everyone to be respectful in their requests.
I listen to and honor my preferences as well as others.
Stop
Complaining!
If
you have a complaint, do something.
If you hear
complaints, do something.
If you get
complaints, do something.
Complaining is a
waste of time and energy, unless you do something.
When
you whine and complain, it usually falls on deaf ears.
When you bitch and
moan, it often is received as nagging.
When you cry and act
out, it seems likes a child.
When you really want
to make a difference, learn to speak up in a respectful and thoughtful way.
When
the food is not good in a restaurant, talk with the waiter, cook or manager.
When the service is
not good in a store, ask to speak with the manager and write a letter to corporate.
When your partner or
children are not respectful of your requests, ask for a family meeting.
When you are not
respectful of yourself and others, sit down with yourself and write down what
you prefer!
Life
has its mistakes, ignorance and laziness.
People have their
unconsciousness, unhealthy and selfish habits.
You have your own
lack of self respect and self judgments.
It is time to make
the conscious consistent effort to make things better for everyone.
Every
request must be given with total respect and confidence that others also want
the best.
Every request should
be directly to the person or persons involved with no gossip to others.
Every request should
be clearly expressed either personally or in writing.
Every request must
be offered with rational, non-emotional language.
When
you wait too long, you may be overly emotional and probably pushy.
When you hold off to
say something, you may feel fearful and frustrated.
When you talk to
those not directly involved and those who are unconscious, you may be
dismissed.
When you share your
complaints in a disrespectful way, you will usually not be respected.
What to do?
Make sure you have
done what is right, respectful and appropriate first.
Talk directly,
respectfully and rationally to the person or persons involved.
Ask to speak to the
manager or supervisor or owner if you want to get results.
Listen carefully to
the response you receive and make a note of what was said.
For
families, set a time for a family meeting.
For parent and
child, sit down to talk in a quiet and uninterrupted environment.
For businesses,
speak directly with the person in charge.
Always put what you
experienced in writing and send to HR or to the CEO if no result.
In
successful businesses, the customer is always right, so give
owner/manager your honest feedback.
When you don’t speak
up and talk to person in charge, things will tend to stay the same or
deteriorate.
In
healthy families, everyone
matters and everyone needs to share their preferences.
Create a place and
time with everyone present to listen to all creative ideas and requests.
Take
time to listen to yourself and others.
Stop making a big
deal over petty stuff.
Change what you can
change.
Create win-win
solutions.
Listening
and honoring your preferences.
Betty Lue
************************************************************************
Handling
Criticism
Every upset is
always a wakeup call.
All wakeup calls are
invitation to get on purpose.
Our purpose is to live
in integrity with our mission and principles.
When we are fully being true to our authentic self, no one can upset
or hurt us.
Every criticism
is always about the critic.
We can listen and be
grateful for them telling their truth, their belief, their projection.
When we take it
personally, we are acknowledging that we have some guilt.
When we are offended, we are confessing that we are not wholly on purpose
and at peace.
When my buttons
are pushed ( when I have a reaction) to what has been said, it is mine to heal.
When I am hurt or
offended, I need to stop and listen to how I can respond to myself with love.
When I am defensive,
attacking, upset, I need to take stock of what is the truth for me.
Always I can be aware that the critic is talking about their own need and I
can forgive them.
When we hear a
criticism or what we judge to be an attack, we can best forgive it all.
When we feel
attacked or criticized personally, we can simply apology for the upset.
When we listen
within for how best to respond, we can hear what is really needed.
The critic is always describing themselves and expressing their own need to
heal.
What we give to
another is given to ourselves.
When we offer
forgiveness and healing to a brother, we are offering healing to ourselves.
There is no harm in
doing no harm.
There is continuing upset when we try to be right.
Where we have
guilt, we will be vulnerable.
When we are not true
to ourselves, we can be hurt.
When we have blamed
another, we will fear being blamed.
When we are afraid of someone or something, we have not yet forgiven.
All upsetting
experiences are lessons, reminders or wakeup calls.
All difficulties are
challenges which we can learn from.
All seeming offenses
are opportunities to realign our principles and purpose.
In our defenselessness, our safety lies.
When we have
nothing to hide with no secrets and no fears of being judged, criticism is a
call for help.
When we are free
from judging, blaming and making anyone wrong, we respond always with kindness.
When we are willing
to give what we want to receive, we respond with respectful listening and love.
When we are open to giving what will bring peace and harmony to all, we
forgive and love again.
And so it is, we
learn and expand our capacity for Loving Kindness,
Betty Lue