Affirmations: It is
time for us all to find a better way to love and honor men and boys.
I forgive myself for not always understanding men need daily care,
appreciation, rest and renewal.
I am aware and respect what helps men heal and grow in wisdom, compassion
and open-mindedness.
I release regrets and resentments with people not knowing how to love men
as well as women.
I honor the men in my life for how they try to be helpful and what they do
for love.
Thank
All Men and Boys!
Thank
the men and boys for working and playing hard.
Thank them for
protecting us from harm.
Thank them for being
adventuresome.
Thank them for
stepping out and being brave.
Thanks
the men for learning to fend for themselves.
Thank the men for
fighting for our freedom.
Thank the men for
providing for their families.
Thank the men for
remembering to show compassion.
Thank
the men for being gentle and kind to women and children.
Thank the men for
teaching their sons respect and responsibility.
Thank the men for
learning to listen to their women.
Thank the men for
being loving when love is needed.
Thank
the boys for being helpful.
Thank the boys for
being courteous.
Thank the boys for
remembering trying new things.
Thank the boys for
loving their moms and grandmas.
Thank
men and boys for doing their best.
Thank the men and
boys for forgiving the complaints of women.
Thank the men and
boys for not running away from women’s emotions.
Thank the men and
boys for trying so hard to please women.
Thank
men and boys for doing one thing at a time.
Thank men and boys
for learning how to do new things.
Thank men and boys
for handling all the suffering in the world.
Thank men and boys
for taking care of themselves.
Often
we women forget how hard it is to be a man.
Often women and
girls use emotions to get their way.
Often women neglect
to appreciate and value their men.
Often women get
carried away with their needs and neglect the needs of their men.
Perhaps
Father’s Day is a time to remember being a protector and provider is work.
Perhaps Father’s Day
we can forgive the ways men have mistakenly tried to do what was right.
Perhaps Father’s Day
is an opportunity to appreciate our fathers and forefathers and pioneers.
Perhaps Father’s day
we can remember to give men a rest each day and time to get away.
Loving
Our Men and Boys,
Betty
Lue
You
may value reading this with a new look at what our egoic personalities have
learned to do.
No
need to agree, because it may not represent you and your experience. ( but many
do!)
What
Men and Women Really Want
This
describes our egoic (learned personality) behaviors and motivations, not our
higher or spiritual nature.
Generalizations about what gender really wants are
just that –generalizations!
However
there are consistent behaviors among genders that are often misunderstood.
Sometimes
men and women simply project their intentions and emotions onto the opposite
sex.
Or
frequently there are gender stereotypes which cause misperceptions in
relationships.
Ie. When
a woman won’t talk, it is because she is resentful or punishing the other
person.
When men
won’t talk and withdraw, it is usually because they don’t know what to say
without exposing their emotional vulnerability and prefer to work it out
without hurting the other or themselves.
In
general….men simply want to make their woman happy.
Men are
simple.
Men try
hard to please the other after doing their “job” the best they can as protector
and provider.
Men are
confused by emotions and emotional behavior.
Men have
difficulty reading what changing emotional states and behaviors are really
saying.
Men do
their best to make it right, but have limited tools or understanding.
Men
objectify women.
Men often
are simply seeing their woman as the object of their love.
Men are
dependent on a woman.
(Men tend
to remarry within one year of losing their partner, On average for women it is
five years.)
Men use
their relationship as their north star, the compass by which they guide their
course in life.
Men need
their woman to be clear about what really matters and stay true to her word.
When the
woman changes her mind, it is frustrating, confusing and can cause depression
and distress.
Men have
learned to stay away when a woman (mother) is upset until they “know” what to
do.
Men try
hard to keep the relationship on an even keel.
Men tend
to exert all their energy in doing what they know they can do….earn money and
keep safe.
They
often use TV, internet and video games to go into the zone to undo stress and
to stay out of trouble.
In
general, criticism shuts down their energy and makes them weak, uncertain and
confused.
Men would
rather avoid fights by staying away (under the radar). ( Working or playing or
unavailable.)
Men rely
on their woman’s happiness and approval to know that they are OK, wanted and belong.
In
general…women simply want their way.
Women are
complex.
Women
please themselves by doing their job of nurturing and nourishing the whole
family.
Women
stir emotions and emotional reactions and see them as indicating love and
loyalty.
Women
project their motives onto men, not recognizing the differences.
Women do
their best to manipulate, control and convince to get their believed “right”
way.
Women
utilize men.
Women use
men to protect, provide and produce children.
Women are
independent and capable of caring for themselves, but it is less work with
willing help.
Women
oversee the big picture and plan for the future of themselves and their
families.
Women
multitask and seem to consider all elements.
Women are
best at scheduling and making future plans.
Women can
be effective assistants to men and know how to control the outcome.
Women use
their relationship as the means to get what they want: home, family, travel,
companion, etc.
Women
resent criticism and will find ways to get even, defend and attack.
Women
expect men to be like women and disrespect men’s inabilities to perform.
Women use
emotions as power, fighting to confuse the man, to win and get their way.
Women use
the man’s compliance (obedience) as the indication of his love and loyalty.
These
generalizations are based on 30+ years of observation and listening to the
genders express their unconscious and conscious motivations.
Betty Lue