Thursday, February 05, 2015

Basics Keys of Healthy Relationships

I choose to love everyone no matter what.
I give with Love and experience miracles of Love.
The more I love, trust and respect myself, the more I love, trust and respect others.
The more I love, trust and respect myself, the more others love, trust and respect me.
The more I love, trust and respect myself, the more others love, trust and respect themselves.
It all begins with me.

1.    Joining: Purpose, Mission or Goals.
2.    Honesty: No secrets or withholds.
3.    Equality: Each person gives their best.
4.    Commitment: What is best for both parties.
5.    Responsibility: Be able and willing to contribute 100% with no guilt or blame.

Relationships can be functional or dysfunctional.
People can blame, shame, quit, demand, threaten, lie, cheat and steal on themselves and others.
Dysfunctional relationships do not meet the Needs for Success. ( See above)
Some say over 90 percent of all families and relationships are dysfunctional.

When everyone does what they want, the needs for Successful Relationships are not met.
When people neglect to communicate their heart, vision, gratitude and choices, no one benefits.
When people use the relationship for their own good and neglect to support the other, both lose.
When families depend on one person to meet their own needs, they build guilt and resentment.

It is important for all parties to clarify what they truly need.
It is important for each person to be honest and authentic.
It is important for each person to GIVE their best.
It is important for each to commit to what is good for each and all.
It is important for each to function responsibly with conscious intention.

Successful Relationships require consciousness to succeed.
When people take what they have for granted, they lose theit way.
When people forget to be respectful and grateful, they take advantage.
When people become dependent, they make assumptions.

Successful Relationships require full participation.
Schedule meetings for quality time.
Make agreements for best communication.
Forgive mistakes to create renewed focus.

Honor one another for what is given.
Let go of negative or painful history.
Relinquish all attack, blame, shame and criticism.
Maintain respectful language and behavior.

Treat partners and family with respect.
Use courteous language and behavior.
Please and thank you maintains awareness.
Practice the habit of apologizing for errors.

Every relationship can be positive and helpful.
Every relationship deserves our consciousness.
Every relationship can benefit both parties.
Every relationship can be healing and growthful.

Observe and clean up your own behavior first.
Your example will make all the difference.
Openly appreciate and reward behavior you value.
Forgive and let go of behavior you wish to undo.

Be true to your highest values.
Betty Lue

Healthy Relationship Workshop this Saturday 10-12 in Middletown.
You can ask to receive the handouts and the audio via internet!

Recommendations for Successful Relationships
With mates, partners, friends, children, co-workers, etc.

Keep your agreements faithfully.
(Communicate changes honestly and immediately.)

Give more than you expect to receive.
Do more than your “fair” share.

Receive everything with open appreciation.
Express your thanks sincerely and take nothing for granted.

Live your own life in integrity and on purpose.
Clarify, communicate and live your mission, your path, your principles and values.  

Be responsible for yourself, your work and live your life impeccably.
Don’t expect others to pick up after you or take care of you.

Stop using, blame, criticism or guilt to control or manipulate.
Stop making demands, threats or using neediness to get your way.

Communicate effectively and respectfully.
Request a time and place and tone of voice that works for both parties.

Be your best self in all circumstances.
Focus always on teaching by example. (and apologize immediately when you forget or neglect.)

Use your time together wisely.
Focus on meaningful, positive and inspiring conversation and activities.

Spend time, money, energy and resources only on what you value and want to increase.
Waste nothing in your relationship.  No arguing, pettiness, emotional dumping or negativity.

There are many more agreements which I encourage you and your partner to write together.
I encourage all parties to take time to re-evaluate your agreements monthly or on a regular basis.

As circumstances change, there is a need to re-commit to what works for all participants.
Families need to meet to look at the specific needs of each individual to be at their best.
Couples need to ensure that the relationship is “serving all parties.
Business partners need to return to their original agreement and consider changing roles as needed.

Life requires that we be in relationship.
With respect for ourselves and each other there is open communication.
With responsibility for the quality of our relationships, there is a willingness to seek what works for all.
With cooperation there is encouragement to listen for ways to serve the needs of everyone.
When everyone WINS, the relationships are harmonious, peaceful and enjoyable.

Blessings to us all in our willingness to continue to explore and find better ways of relating,  

Betty Lue