Wednesday, April 02, 2014

Why Fight To Be Right?

Affirmations:
I no longer allow myself to lose emotional control.
I choose to treat everyone with dignity and respect.
The more I respect myself, the more I respect others.
I prefer to be happy, and let go of the need to be right.

Perhaps the best advice I received about human relationships was:
State you opinion once when asked.
Then drop the subject with or without agreement.
When someone disagrees, state your opinion once and then let go and listen to theirs.

It only make matters worse to fight.
It never creates happy and peaceful resolution.
If you need to be right, get a bunch of friends who simply agree with you.
If you are confident in what is “right” for you, let  others be “right” for them.

Take time to listen when you have the patience to listen with trust.
Take time to listen when you want to learn about others.
Take time to listen when you need to know what they believe.
Take time to listen when you recognize that everyone is free to believe as they wish.

When you are in disagreement, you can say to yourself it is OK to see things differently.
When you differ in your opinion, belief, viewpoint, simply acknowledge you respect the difference.
When you need them to agree, know you are needing approval or their alliance to feel confident.
When you need another to support and trust you, begin with your need for their support.

Often fights are about petty or inconsequential issues.
Often fights are about the competitive need to win.
Often fights are simply a habitual reaction.
Often fights are because we don’t know how to get attention.

When we know how to assert ourselves, we respect others who assert themselves.
When we understand that differences are healthy and good, we respect the differences we hear.
When we regard those who differ with freedom and trust, we feel loving and safe in our relationships.
When we stop the fighting, we realize it was all immature and a waste of time and energy for nothing.

Wars come from fighting over mostly petty details.
Divorces come from mostly fighting habits.
Firing often happens from the futility of fighting for what we want.
Fighting seems to be the way we posture to be righteously right for what we believe.

The most effective way to life in relationship is to stop fighting.
The best way to stop fighting is to step away and respect yourself.
The happiest way to live is to stop needing to prove yourself.
The sanest way to find peace and harmony is to let go and simply love, respect yourself.

Stop being needy.
Stop saying hurtful words.
Stop trying to be right.
Stop being antagonistic.

Let us all love and mind our own behavior.
Forgive yourself for hurting yourself and others.
Trust yourself to know what is right and good to say and do.
Allow yourself to change how you think and speak and behave.

Loving you as you change your reactions and stop fighting with anyone.
Betty Lue

Nothing good comes from acting  when angry or upset.

When upset or angry about anything.
Calm yourself before you act or speak.
    STOP
    Breathe deeply, fully and freely.
    Step away.
    Leave the situation until you are calm.

Nothing good comes from acting when angry or upset.

This is a life lesson in learning to wait until your inner emotional storm has passed.

Only when you are calm and clear can you make effective decisions.