Vulnerability

Neediness makes you vulnerable.

Greediness makes you needy.

When we are needy, we want to get.

When we are greedy, we want to get more.

When we seek to GET what we believe we want and need, we become dependent and vulnerable.

When we are dependent on anyone or anything, we feel vulnerable to disappointment and abandonment.

When we are thinking only of our own needs, we cannot see and feel what is real for others.

When we create dependency, we may feel depressed or resentful or hurt when our “needs” are not met.

It seems as though much of our society bases their life on creating dependency.

When people depend on us, perhaps we believe they will not leave us.

When we depend on others, perhaps we believe we must stay with them to live.

When we have mutually dependent relationships, we may find ourselves afraid or fighting.

How dependent are you on what you now have?

How independent have you become as you matured?

Where you are still dependent on others for the basics, you have stayed immature.

When you keep others dependent on you for the basics, you have denied their healthy growth.

Growing up is becoming able and happily willing to provide for yourself.

Maturity is no longer depending on others to give you what you need and want.

Adulthood is being able and willing to take care of yourself in healthy ways.

When we have not been encouraged to be responsible for our happiness and health, we may be disabled.

Co-Dependence is defined in different ways, depending on the circumstance.

We may believe ourselves to be little, inadequate, incapable and lacking.

We may believe others to be the same and try to take care of them to feel capable ourselves.

We may create relationships where we have to be needed to feel loved.

What will it take to free ourselves from neediness?

What will it take to stop wanting always more?

What will be enough?

When will be free to share what we have?

Can you mend a tear or sew on a button?

Can you prepare a meal for yourself and do your own laundry?

Can you handle your money well without needing a bailout?

Can you Share what you have without creating dependency on you?

Growing from childhood dependency and learning to be independent adult is healthy and normal.

Relying on one’s own initiative, competence and resourcefulness seems rare where dependence is fostered.

Learning to live with less and teach others how to enjoy what they have is key to invulnerability.

When we value what is valuable and are grateful for what we have, we find inner peace and happiness.

Demanding and threatening may work for children,

Whining and complaining may work when we are with Mommy and Daddy.

Using guilt and blame to get our needs met is childish.

It is time to grow up and learn to take care of ourselves with gratitude and joy.

Loving us all as we learn what brings true happiness and inner peace,

Betty Lue

You Are A Flower in the Garden of Life

If you would grow to be your best self

Be patient, not demanding

Accepting, not condemning

Nurturing, not withholding

Self-marveling, not belittling

Gently guiding, not pushing & punishing

For you are more sensitive than you know

Mankind is tough as war

Yet delicate as flowers

We can endure agonies

But we open fully only to warmth & light

And our need to grow is fragile as a fragrance

Dispersed by storms of will

To return only when those storms are still

So accept, respect,

Attend your sensitivity

A flower

Cannot be opened

With a hammer

Anonymous

Overwhelmed or Tired?

Depressed or Discouraged?

Ready to quit on your self or your goals?

Have you stopped trying and waiting for the other person?

Do you believe you can have what you really want?

Burn out is exhausting yourself “barking up the wrong tree”.

You may feel depressed, scared and like you have lost control of your life.

You may be sick, victimized or feeling lost and alien in a fearful world ..

You may be overwhelmed by all that seems to confront you daily.

What used to work will not work anymore because it have lost its power.

What you did in the past may not give you the payoff it once had.

What you believed may not fit because you seek it is no longer true for you.

When you used to get through the day may not have the same effectiveness.

This is all “on purpose” because you have outgrown your childish ways.

Complaining is for immature  children, tattling to their teacher or Mommy.

Pacifiers and “blankies” are for babies who use immature means to self soothe.

We are growing out of our dependencies and learning to be self sufficient and mature adults.

It is time to stop the madness, the whining and complaining about everyone else.

It is time to take full 100% responsibility for ourselves and our lives.

It is time to stop, look and listen at our own thoughts, words and behaviors.

When we are fully aware and responsible for what we think and do and say, we can begin to be adult.

There is no time to waste, because the world is insisting that we stop blaming others.

Life is showing us we will lose if we do not own our “cause” in every matter.

Yes, I am the one who allowed this to happen.

I am the one who believed this would become  the way it is.

I am the one who did not stop my own disrespect and victimization.

I am the one who irritated and overwhelmed others rather than assume responsibility.

I am the one who needs to drop the old ways and learn how to be a mature adult.

I am the one who is willing to find a better way to live so I can be my best self.

I am the one who will stop nagging, complaining, criticizing and demanding of others.

When you can fully be responsible for your own life, you can make an immediate and positive difference.

As long as you blame anyone or make others feel guilty, you will believe they are the problem.

When you are able to see it is time to grow up and become responsible for your life, you will be free.

When you are willing to be responsible for your thoughts and words and behavior, you will be powerful.

You are the change agent in your own life.

You can make the difference you want to see.

You can change everything your experience.

You can be the one you seek to create a better life.

There is no Mommy or Daddy, hero or warrior, fighting for you to win.

This life is for you to begin again today in everyway.

Start with watching your thoughts, letting go of your dependencies and listen to your words.

You know it is all about you and what you have created to be true.

Begin now to make you life matter to YOU!

Betty Lue

Appreciate and Enjoy!

It is with appreciation that we increase our Good.

It is with gratitude that we enhance our relationships.

It is with praise that we inspire and encourage.

It is with affirming words that we make a difference.

For those who cannot be grateful, they will feel lacking.

For those who will not express “Thanks”, they will not receive favor.

For those who do not give praise, they will not know appreciation.

For those who do not offer positive words, they will not benefit.

What is given is received.

What we give to others is given to ourselves.

Where we cannot fully love and appreciate, we do not experience abundant love and appreciation.

It is true that the world reflects what is within me and you.

To fully love, respect, trust and appreciate oneself is the key to love for others.

To fully contribute to living your best is essential to giving your best to others.

To fully honoring and affirming the Good in yourself opens heart and mind to fully loving others.

To fully listen and learn how to love yourself and live your purpose is to give your best to others.

When we deny ourselves, we are withholding our best from others. 

When we judge others, we fear being judged.

When we withhold love from others, we feel we are not loved well.

When we shut down our naturally loving nature, we may experience depression, depletion, anger or fear.

Life is a direct mirror, a reflection of what we are projecting from within.

Life gives us feedback about how we are treating ourselves and others.

Life shows us where we are seeing ourselves separate and unwilling.

Life is the best and most objective barometer to how we are not giving our best.

When we love, trust, respect and appreciate ourselves, we easily love, trust, respect and appreciate others.

Where to judge ourselves, we will judge others and feel judged.

When we forgive our lack of appreciation for ourselves and others, we open fully to gratitude and joy.

When we are willing to open the door to see the essential Good in everyone, life is safe, fun and easy.

What will it take to be grateful?

Be grateful for the air, the sun and the rain.

Appreciate the beauty of nature and the bounty of the Earth.

Enjoy and bless all the good in your life.

When you are open-minded, and give thanks fully and freely, life becomes truly enjoyable.

When you are willing to forgive your judgments, opinions and limiting beliefs, life is abundant.

When you are free of fearful thoughts of limitation, lack and littleness, you will feel happy and free.

When you are generous with your gratitude for the people, places and possibilities of life, you are at home.

Life is good and getting better with every grateful thought and words and deed.

So thankful for knowing and loving YOU!

Betty Lue

You are  my spiritual partners as we conspire to co-create a better world.

My heart smiles and my spirit rejoices.  

Your gifts of love and appreciation inspire me and feed my soul.  

Celebrate the gifts we share and grow in abundance and beauty.  

Offering all I am given in Love,  supports, strengthens and affirms this Love. 

I love you, as you live the life you consciously desire. 

I am supported and sustained by your kindness and generosity.  

May you  honor your Holy Self as you walk in Goodness, Beauty and Love.

Loving You,  

Betty Lue

Communication at Its Best!

I  highly recommend you listen to my Sunday talk at InspiredLivingCenter.org under Past Talks. 2/24/13

“What Do You Say?”

Be in good Spirits.

If you are tired, hungry, rushed, busy, distracted, you cannot communicate consciously.

When you are upset, angry, resentful, hurt or feeling sorry, you cannot be effective.

Take impeccable care of yourself first, last and always.

To sacrifice or martyr is to invoke guilt rather than inspire.

Know and Live Your Values and Priorities

If you value peace, make sure you stay at peace.

If you value love, use thoughts and words that are loving.

If you value healing, use every moment with healing intention.

Set an Intention, goal or purpose for every encounter.

If giving advice or opinions, make sure you have been invited or asked.

Make sure the time is clear and good for both.

There must be gratitude and some compensation at the end. (smile, hug, sharing, thanks)

Create a safe environment.

Create a confidential space with not interruptions.

Set a time and place that are respectful of all parties.

Honor  your needs and those of the other. (Time, respect, resources, etc.)

Recognize You Love You.

If you love. trust and respect yourself, you will speak with love, trust and respect for others.

Recognize that what you share (your message) is always for you first.

Understand that what you give the other is given to yourself.

Know that you do not Know!

Know that you do not understand.

Know that you want to give, improve, contribute, bless, extend peace.

Know that want only to communicate only the highest and best!

Listen within.

I am asking that this conversation be a blessed one.

I am inviting Holy Spirit to speak to me and through me.

I am open and willing to inspire and teach only Love.

If needed, Take a break or time out! 

If you are not in the right place or right time,

If conversation disintegrates or feels hurtful.

If you lose your focus, inspiration or your cool.

Live , love, give your best and highest Truth.

Show up, Pay attention, Tell the High Truth and Detach.

Be openly grateful for the opportunity to share.

Choose to acknowledge your love and respect openly.

Types of common communication:

Casual conversation. Give respect, love and gratitude.

They have a need.  Listen and give only what is asked or invited.

You have a need. Share your need with your feelings, your desire and your willingness.

There is a conflict of needs.  Identify needs, brainstorm possibilities, choose ones that work for both.

Values conflict. Model your values, state your differences clearly, see from the others perspective.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; 

courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. 

Communicate your best and only Good will follow!

Loving you,  

Betty Lue

Assertiveness 

Assertive People Do:

  1. Decide what they want.

  2. Decide if it is fair.

  3. Ask for it clearly.

  4. Are not afraid of taking risks.

  5. Are calm and relaxed.

  6. Express feelings openly.

  7. Give and take compliments easily.

  8. Accept and give fair evaluation.

Assertive People Do not:

  1. Beat about the bush.

  2. Go behind other people's backs.

  3. Bully.

  4. Call people names.

  5. Bottle up their feelings.

Aids For Developing Assertiveness:

  1. Models

   2. Love and encouragement

   3. Caring evaluation

   4. A sense of values

   5. A basic feeling of security

Comparing Responses

There are two primitive, adaptive, instinctive responses when encountering a problem area:  1)  a desire for flight or 2)  a desire to fight. We mostly experience these responses as fear or anger.  Both responses are basically "back-brain" or reactive in nature.  Assertiveness brings the "fore-brain" into play, bringing objectivity and "rationality".

Affirmation:

The more I respect myself, the more I respect others.

The more I respect myself, the more others respect me.

The more I respect myself, the more others respect themselves.

Therefore, I choose to respect myself more.

Honesty

What is honest?  What is true?

Loving me is loving you.

When we remember we are Loving ourselves, 

we can clear the fear and simply declare, 

“I Love You.”

No strings. No conditions.

No expectations. No ill will.

No clinging. No demands.

No neediness and No regrets.

The only mistake we ever make is when we forget to Love.

How could Love create anything other than Love to give Love?

When we falsely accuse ourselves or others of being unloveable, we are condemning God.

When we neglect to erase the coverup and see the True Identity within, we are blind to what is real.

How can I condemn the one who is most needy?

How can I fail to see the fear and hurt within?

How can I turn away from the mistaken and deny my brother the Jight Truth.

People act out so they might get the correction they need and the Help they seek.

Everyone wants to hear the Loving Truth.

Everyone longs to feel seen and known.

Everyone hopes they can find a safe place to be.

Everyone is looking for the Love outside to heal the wounds within.

The Truth is “I Love You.”

The Truth is “I Am Sorry.”

The Truth is “I care.”

The Truth is “Please forgive me.”

The Truth is “I AM here.”

What keeps us staying separate?

What cause us to withhold?

What makes us want to blame?

What creates forgetting to Love?

We feel guilty for not remembering to love everyone as ourselves.

We feel afraid to really take care of those around us.

We feel confused by the worldly teaching and acceptable ways to care.

We feel distracted and ashamed of how many we have left to cry and die.

It is time to say” I Love You.”

It is time to apologize for the pain.

It is time to acknowledge “I care about you.”

It is time to ask forgiveness and forgive all others.

It is time to realize “I am here for you.” “Please trust me.”

Do not give what you do not have for yourself.

Do not sacrifice and expect repayment for your Love.

Do not surrender your identify and life Purpose.

Give that which fills you with Joy and Gratitude.

Life is for Giving.

Teach what you are learning.

Learn what you teach.

Give all Good to Have All Good.

Love EveryOne, including YOU!

Betty Lue

Relationship Healing

Yes, the primary purpose of our relationships is healing the past.

Yes, the commitment is to be the safe place where each one can heal.

Yes. It requires patience and persistence and love.

Yes, it is work for each person to heal their own stuff.

When we lay a guilt trip on each other and blame them for not changing, it is another wound to heal.

When we resent the other for not doing their own healing work, we slow or stop the healing process.

When we are fixated on what they need to do to handle their issues, we deny or avoid our own.

When we neglect our own process of healing and self love, we make matters worse.

What is revealed can be healed.

Betty Lue

Recommendations for All Relationships 

With mates, partners, friends, children, co-workers, etc.

Keep your agreements faithfully.

(Communicate changes honestly and immediately.)

Give more than you expect to receive. 

Do more than your “fair” share.

Receive everything with open appreciation.

Express your thanks sincerely and take nothing for granted.

Live your own life in integrity and on purpose.

Clarify, communicate and live your mission, your path, your principles and values.  

Be responsible for yourself, your work and live your life impeccably. 

Don’t expect others to pick up after you or take care of you.

Stop using, blame, criticism or guilt to control or manipulate.

Stop making demands, threats or using neediness to get your way.

Communicate effectively and respectfully.

Request a time and place and tone of voice that works for both parties.

Be your best self in all circumstances.

Focus always on teaching by example. (and apologize immediately when you forget or neglect.)

Use your time together wisely.

Focus on meaningful, positive and inspiring conversation and activities.

Spend time, money, energy and resources only on what you value and want to increase.

Waste nothing in your relationship.  No arguing, pettiness, emotional dumping or negativity.

You Cannot Be Totally Committed Sometimes

If you are conflicted, you cannot be honest.

If you are ambivalent, go to a deeper truth.

If you are uncertain, find the place of certainty.

If you are doubtful, seek a truth you trust.

Where there is doubt, there is fear.

When there is uncertainty, there is lack of trust.

When there is ambivalence, we are seeing two sides.

Where there is conflict, there is inability to see the best for all concerned.

Life gives us the opportunity to choose for what we know and speak and live.

Life belies what is in our conscious and unconscious mind.

Life demonstrates where we have allowed ourselves to be led astray.

Life can be our teacher and reveal the teachings of faulty fearful thinking.

We can choose to let the fearful world lead us to fear.

We can allow others teachings to be our guide and our savior.

We can let the past deceive us into believing we are not safe.

We can hang onto the errors in our mind to continue creating what we wish would no longer be.

When we commit to find a better way, the way will come.

When we commit to love ourselves well, we will do just that.

When we commit to being the powerful presence of Love in our lives, we are seen as that Loving Force.

When we commit to changing our minds to change our lives, it shall be done.

However, when we are committed sometimes, we engender an interrupted experience.

When we allow ourselves to neglect and forget our commitment, we have a limited change of mind.

When we let distractions, delays, detours, disappointments to interfere, we stop believing and achieving.

When we mistaken allow external authorities beliefs to create doubt and fear, we lose our way.

Consider how you may allow your emotions to get in your way.

Consider how you may believe your past is your guide to safety and peace.

Consider how the books you read or the people you meet  influence your choices.

Consider how little you may trust or respect yourself and your life learning journey.

What do you value?

Pick one or two or three top values.

Live each one daily in everything you think and say and do.

Drop the values that do not belong to you.

Hold yourself accountable and true at the beginning and ending of each day.

Live your life with integrity.

Be honest with yourself.

Forgive your forgetfulness immediately and choose again for what is truly of value for you.

Being wholly committed is the key to success.

Give it your all and you will not be disappointed.

Stop quitting on yourself.

Love your true Self benefits All.

Loving you is Loving me and all of us as one.

Betty Lue

  

Until One Is Committed

Until one is committed

there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back,

always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation),

there is one elementary truth,

the ignorance of which kills countless ideas

and splendid plans:

that the moment one definitely commits oneself,

then Providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one

that would never otherwise have occurred.

A whole stream of events issues from the decision,

raising in one’s favor all manner

of unforeseen incidents and meetings

and material assistance,

which no man could have dreamt

would have come his way.

I have learned a deep respect 

for one of Goethe’s couplets:

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.

Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.”

                  From the Scottish Himalayan Expedition

                        by W. H. Murray

What We Perceive in Others, We Strengthen in Ourselves

When we look for what is wrong, we see more mistakes within.

When we are focused on illness, we find more sickness.

When we are looking for whom to help, we attract more needy people.

When we are vigilant for what to avoid, we have more to fear.

When we are afraid of someone or something, they may seem to haunt us.

When we are addicted to drama, we seek and attract drama.

When we are programmed to believe life is hard and dangerous and serious, it will be.

When we listen to our internalized learned belief system, we will honor its errant predictions.

When we look for the Good, we find Goodness everywhere.

When we appreciate the beauty in others, we see the beauty in ourselves.

When we enjoy the willingness to learn in others, we encourage more willingness within ourselves.

When we seek what is healed and holy, we strengthen our own healing and holiness.

We may ask, “Why is this happening in my life?”

When we look at our thoughts and habits of mind. we find the origin.

The origin may be in a story we heard or a movie or simply an unforgiven past experience.

We may think it is gone only to reappear in a projection, experience or worldly out-picturing.

The healing work in life is to clear the thoughts which block the love.

The holy work is to clear the fear so we can think, speak and act in love.

The gift of perception is to recognize and release the projection of what needs to be erased.

The forgiveness eraser is designed to clean up our “stinking” thinking.

What we seek, we find.

What we ask for, we receive.

What we believe, we see.

What we want, we create.

We may seek defense and find what we are defending against.

We may be asking for avoiding some experience and then have the experience we are resisting.

We may believe bad always happens and then see the bad happening.

We may want not to have, but to not have and experience what we didn’t want.

This seems backwards until we realize the creative mind has no recognition of “not”.

When a children hears: “Don’t play in the street”, the mind hears play in the street.

When we talk in the affirmative, we will be heard. a

When we talk in the negative, we are affirming and increasing the negative.

Begin thinking, saying and acting in the affirmative.

I release all negatives and defenses in my mind.

I now choose what is highest and best and true for me.

I am grateful for all the good in my life and increase the good with full appreciation.

“In my defenselessness, my safety lies.” ACIM

Use the power of positive choice to create what you really want.

Gently and quickly release with your blessing all that is not good for you.

Focus on the creative power of your thoughts, words and deeds.

Trusting you to choose the healthy, happiness and fulfillment you really want to experience and share.

Betty Lue

Honesty

Honesty is living in integrity.

Honesty is telling the same truth to everyone.

Honesty is giving your best to everyone equally.

Honesty is recognizing that the truth you tell is what you create.

Honesty is sharing what works for all.

Honesty is knowing and telling the inspiring Truth.

Honesty is ignoring what you no longer want to be.

Honesty is appreciating what you want to be.

Honesty is living your values and priorities.

Honesty is speaking and behaving from your highest intention.

Honesty is remembering what you give you will receive.

Honesty is saying the words that are helpful and effective.

Honesty is remembering that your truth may not be theirs.

Honesty is honoring your part and sharing your loving perception.

What do I say, when I do not like what I hear?

This is not true for me.

What do I say, when I want to say NO?

Thanks for asking.  This is not best for me right now.

What do I say when asked what I do not know?

I do not know. Where could we find the answers?

What do I say when afraid to offend?

My opinion is not relevant or helpful. Please do what is true for you.

What do I say, when I want to share my ideas and opinions?

May I share my ideas and opinions with you?

What do I say, when someone is critical and attacking?

Thank you for sharing.  I will take it into consideration.

What do I say when I want to share love and appreciation freely?

Please allow me to share how very much I love and appreciate you.

What do I say when feeling angry and upset?

Please excuse me while I get clear and can speak freely. (Step away!)

The work in communication is to find a way to express so that the other can hear you.

When we attack, or judge, the other will defend and block the love being shared.

The ideal in all encounters is to do not harm and be truly helpful.

When there is trust, we can find a way to share everything with loving intention.

Choose always and only to give the best you have.

If you do not have the best, take space and heal yourself.

When we are not loving, trusting and respecting ourselves, it is difficult to engage another with our best.

What is best for you is best for others.

Listen within and you will know what is the highest Truth for you to share,

Loving you, 

Betty Lue

“If It Doesn’t Work, What Do I Do?”

If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again!

If the first time doesn’t work, stop and try something else.

Don’t throw out the baby with the bath water.

When you make your bed, you have to lie in it.

We all have heard these phrases used to get a point across.

They each say something difference.

Sounds like we need to choose for ourselves which one applies.

Do I try again or quit while I’m ahead?

Do you usually try to hard?

Is it frustrating to never get the result you want?

Are you pushing or bullying to get your point across?

Sounds like you need to stop and try something else.

Do you usually give up on ever being heard?

Do you shut up or leave? 

So you protect yourself by quitting on love?

Sounds like you need to stay and find a better way.

The key to relationship is learning to listen and share respectfully.

Communication means coming together as one in unity.

·     Pick the best time and place to talk with respect.

·     Request the opportunity to share your piece.

·     Ask if the other is ready to hear you.

·     Consider setting ground rules (ie each person has 3-5 minutes)

·     Keep your agreements.

·     Speak in a tone that is calm, considerate and communicates respect.

·     If the sharing becomes emotional or scares either party, stop and take a break.

·     Make sure both are being heard by paraphrasing what you hear and ask if correct.

·     Always create a timeline for the sharing.  If it is prolonged, it will lead to no good.

·     Take time to pause and ask if still OK for both to continue.

·     Often I find when there is no resolution, it is because you are not sharing the REAL issue.

Honest sharing is not yelling, name-calling, blaming or shaming, demanding or threatening.

If this is the form of communicating, expect the other to do the same or withdraw and withhold.

To learn to control ones emotions is not enough. 

It is essential we find better ways to communicate.

Consider putting down your feelings and thoughts in writing.

When you read what you have written and feel considered, respected and appreciated, share with another.

When you have written anger and hate. blame and shame, name-calling threats and demands, do not share.

All upsets are past similars. (The same old thing simply rehashed.)

Most people want to blame someone or something other than heal themselves.

Most people want to stop what irritates, hurts or upsets them, rather than clearing their emotional reaction.

Most people simply want to be right, save face and get their own way.

It amazes me how often what we call communication is really a childish need to get agreement.

Ask yourself, in every communication with another:

Am I sensitive to their needs?

Have I considered what they want?

Does this issue need to be discussed?

Can I heal this on my own?

Is there a serious threat of life and limb, survival and security?

Do I need to push to get my way?

Do I want to risk the relationship I have?

Can I find a better way or better time to share?

How much do I really care about the other?

Am I willing to put Love and Trust and Peace first?

Can I find a better way for both of us to be happy?

I find most communication is unnecessary, but is an excuse to relate.

I find most people simply want to win and make the other listen to them.

I find the majority of requests for communication are not the real reason.

I find people often end a relationship or conversation because they cannot get their needs met.

Now it is your turn to ask yourself:

What do I really want?

What are the conditions and expectations I have on this relationship?

How long am I willing to stay?

What will make me mad enough to hurt the other?

Am I willing to handle my own emotional baggage?

Do I want peace more than I want anything else?

Am I truly willing to trust and free others to be themselves?

Am I willing to heal myself?

Loving us all for learning from every relationship,

Betty Lue 

My Everyday Life, a Co-creative and Inspired Experience!

(If You Want To Know?)

I see my daily Loving Reminders as truly expressing who I am and how I live.

I recognize from your questions that you may be curious about the details (or it may be unimportant!)

I live what I write and speak and teach and I love it all. 

My life works for me because I forgive and choose and appreciate. (30 Day Process)

My entire life is my Loving Reminder, a happy healthy way to play and work for me. 

This last 4 day weekend three of our grandchildren were here with us at the Lake House. Our time with them is filled with activities, games, movies, adventures, horse ranch, park, skate boarding, crafts, visits, homework, sharing ideas, making meals, garden, walking the labyrinth, whatever involves learning and fun. I set aside time and create long weekends + three summer weeks and special holidays for grandkids. They are my teachers and Loving Reminders.

I administer three holistic counseling and healing centers in Pleasant Hill, Brentwood and Hidden Valley Lake, CA These centers were created for unique purposes and each one functions sustains itself.   They are non profit and serve hundreds of clients offering counseling, healing and teaching spaces for over 30 holistic practitioners. They were funded by our personal funds and then supported by those who rent and contribute for the space and the services received. Since we have created over 20 holistic community centers in 5 states over the last 35 years, it is fun, safe, easy, economical and easy for me. No worries, minimal expense and effort with the help of Robert, Reunion Ministers and those who serve.

I also co-minister Unity Center for Inspired Living, a small church, with my husband/partner. 

Robert and I live 2/3 of the week two hours drive away the in Hidden Valley Lake a small community between Calistoga and Clear Lake, CA. We have a new Positive Living Center and Hermitage Retreat here. We invite people here to experience a simpler way of life. Robert and I were called together 28 years ago to Love, Serve and Remember God and Goodness.  We play and work together supporting one another in everything we do.  Using few words and doing our unique part of this shared life, we handle all functions with no arguments, with appreciation and respect for one another. This is the most efficient and effective way to live in relationship with no wasted energy on disagreements or criticism. We each do what we do best and with greatest ease.  All things are accomplished within our own timing and commitment to excellence, happiness and health.  It is truly a fun, safe and easy life. There is trust and freedom in how we live and work and communicate. 

We handle all time, energy and finances with commitment to using everything for the Highest Good.

We listen within for guidance about how and where and whom to serve and with what resources.

We contribute to those whom we encounter with an intention to give our best as though serving ourselves.

We respect and honor others as the Beloved, realizing what we give is given to ourselves.

Our lifestyle is simple, beautiful, organized and promotes inspiration and high levels of creativity.

We prepare all our own meals which are vegetarian, mostly organic, local with little dairy and no eggs.

We enjoy nature, holding hands, creating beauty, laughing, building community and serving.

We love our lives and easily and quickly change what no longer works for either one of us.

We rarely receive phone calls or talk on the phone, relying on email to prevent interruptions.

We watch fun TV, reading or special movie as our down time in the evening.

We do not socialize, except for a 2 hour gathering on Sat. nights with friends to play Train dominoes.

We exercise and have spiritual practice every morning. 

We revisit our personal and co-mission on a regular basis. 

We live by our own values and respect each others’ values and priorities.

We trust in our committed relationship and regard it as a privilege and blessing to be together.

I communicate via Loving Reminders with 1200+ people directly and answer 50-100 emails daily.

Everyday, since 1999, I write and email daily Loving Reminders plus handle Center business.

We do majority of our communication and business on computer with as little paper as possible.  

Robert usually handles the financial, legal and technology stuff as well as maintenance and errands.  

I handle PR writing, creating classes, workshops, retreats, daily and annual schedule, correspondence, home, personal care and meals, coaching, counseling and teaching.

I am responsible for staff and center admin at three centers and Robert is responsible for Unity church.

We have 20-30 appointments in person, skype and on phone each week. 

We teach about 5-10 hours each week at the three centers.

We offer retreats for individuals, couples and small groups at Reunion Hermitage House across the street from our home in Hidden Valley Lake.

We offer an annual retreat for small groups in Kona, Hawaii.

We teach, mentor, coach and encourage others to live with purpose, serve others well and share their gifts.

We have a very full, focused and fun life and laugh often with gratitude.

We share how amazing life can be when you trust and free yourself to live every moment with purpose, power and peace.

Loving you in freeing you to live the unlimited life of Love, 

Betty Lue

Inviting you to visit (or move to) Hidden Valley Lake, CA

Robert and I have chosen Hidden Valley Lake as our primary residence.

We have a guest house, Hermitage, for individuals, couples, families and retreat guests.

We live across the street in our Reunion Lake House.

We just opened the Positive Living Center on Hwy #29 to serve the greater community.

We spend 2 1/2 days/week renting a small apartment one block from Reunion Center.

We serve at Brentwood Unity Center for Inspired Living and Pleasant Hill Reunion Center. 

Both are non profit and have many programs and practitioners to utilize the space.

Some Benefits of Living in Hidden Valley Lake, CA

Beautiful drive….approximately two hours from the Bay Area.

Environmentally conscious and gated community with a diversity of residents.

Small spring-fed clean lake, boat dock and ramp, stocked with fish, two beaches for swimming.

Golf course, tennis courts, campground, club house, stables, restaurant, small shopping center.

Recreational activities, clubs and social events planned by the home owners association.

Quality maintenance of roads and public spaces with HOA has low monthly dues.

Beautiful setting with river and creeks, lake, mountains and awesome views.

Lots of natural wildlife, deer, raccoons, birds galore, even some wild pigs along the highway.

Lake County has the cleanest air in the state, due to no industry or major highways.

Hot summers and cool winters, minimal or no snowfall. Zone 9. 

Lots of sunshine all year round.

Grocery stores have great fresh produce and natural foods.  

Small town feeling in Middletown 7 minutes away and Clear Lake about 20 minutes away. 

Oakland Airport  2 hr. 10 min. 102 miles and Sacramento Airport 1hr. 54 min 105 miles.

Rents from $900-$1200 and housing for sale from $100K-$400K on the lakefront. 

For Sales: Lorrie Me Murray at 707-987-1932  For rentals Julianne Schisler at 707-987-1937.

Plus: We live here and would love to have you join this quiet and happy community.

We are organically building spiritual or inspired here in Hidden Valley Lake, CA.

With gratitude, love and respect, Betty Lue Lieber and Robert Waldon

For more info, feel free to contact me.  

How to Heal

When we have pain, emotional or physical, we need to heal.

When we have fear and avoidance, we need to heal.

When we have guilt and shame, we need to heal.

When we have upset, judgment and blame, we need to heal.

Fear calls for healing.

What we reveal, we can heal.

Awareness with love will heal.

Seeing what is without judgment is healing.

Healing is undoing the wounds held in our mind.

Healing is clearing the blocks to love.

Healing is filling our mind with light and our hearts with love.

Healing is trusting that all things work together for Good.

When we hold what we believe to be right, we are stuck in our righteousness.

When we need to make ourselves and others wrong and sinful, we cannot heal.

When we have fixed opinions and try to control others, we are stuck.

When we live and speak as though we know what is right and best for others, we are unwilling.

Willingness to heal is essential.

Open-mindedness to forgive is essential.

Releasing the past is required.

Undoing our limited and doubtful thinking is necessary.

When we cannot change our minds, we cannot change our lives.

Change and healing come from undoing old ways of thinking.

Change comes from letting go of our attachments and obsessions.

Healing comes from releasing thoughts that create hurt and fear.

What does changing our minds require?

Forgiveness and Affirmation are two most powerful mind cleansers I know.

Forgiveness, used correctly, trains the minds to undo everything that is not wholly true and loving.

Forgiveness is a choice we make to release the past and respect what is right here and right now.

Forgiveness is an eraser filled with Love.

Forgiveness is designed to undo the thoughts that hurt and scare us.

Forgiveness requires a happy willingness to let go and Allow Good into our lives. 

I forgive everyone and everything for all time, including myself.

This powerful affirmation and prayer for forgiveness is essential all the time.

Every thought we think is filled with programmed judgments, defenses and control.

When we believe we know all and can do all, we are mistaken.

When we affirm we do not know and turn our thoughts over to forgiveness and Love, we can heal.

Healing is revealing.

Letting go is fun, safe and easy.

Mistakes can easily and quickly be undone when we are willing to forgive.

Life is a choice to get stuck in a hurtful and fearful dream or awaken to a healing and loving reality.

We can forgive, undo, release and erase what appears to be and see the power of healing love within.

We can change our minds and our lives.

We can live with thoughts, words and deeds of love and trust.

We can choose again for the beauty and goodness we want to see and be.

Blessings abound when we choose for healing love,

Betty Lue

LOVE

There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer;

No disease that enough love will not heal;

No door that enough love will not open;

No gulf that enough love will not bridge;

No wall that enough love will not throw down;

No sin that enough love will not redeem.

 It makes no difference 

  how deeply seated may be the trouble,

How hopeless the outlook,

How muddled the tangle,

How great the mistake. 

A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all.

 If only you could love enough, you would be the happiest 

and most powerful being in the world.

Emmet Fox

Healing Vs. Cure

(Used in the Wellness community)

1.  Cure may occur without healing.

   Healing may occur without cure.

   Healing and Cure may occur simultaneously.

2.  Cure considers the body separately from soul.

   Healing embraces the whole 

   (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, relationships).

3.  Cure is acting upon and is based on fear.

   Healing is being with, in love and faith.

4.  Cure isolates.

   Healing incorporates.

5.  Cure combats illness.

   Healing fosters wellness.

6.  Cure fixes the body.

   Healing corrects perception.

7.  Cure is the application of external authority.

   Healing is an inner process.

8.  Cure is a closed system.

   Healing is an open system.

9. Cure focuses on the future.

   Healing focuses on the present.

10. Cure is performed upon another.

   Healing shares with a sister, brother.

11.  Cure manages.

   Healing touches.

12. Cure often issues from fear.

   Healing usually issues from faith.

13. Cure seeks to conquer pain.

   Healing seeks to transcend pain.

14. Cure seeks to hold grief at a distance.

   Healing incorporates grief.

15.  Cure has a beginning and an end.

   Healing is on ongoing process.

16. Cure encounters mystery as a challenge for knowledge and understanding.

   Healing encounters mystery as a challenge to find meaning.

17.  Cure focuses on what is happening to you.

   Healing focuses on how you respond to what is happening to you.

18. Cure rejects death and views it as a defeat.

   Healing includes death among the possible blessed outcomes.