What if someone’s behavior upset you?
What if you get hurt by another’s words?
What if you withhold your love?
What if you can’t get over a past mistake?
Yes, it is all yours to heal.
Every upset, large or small, is yours to be responsible for.
Whenever we feet angry, scared, hurt, resentful, guilty, it is ours to heal within.
All upsets are past similars, unresolved historical patterns, stuff left unforgiven.
This takes courage, willingness, patience and trust to reveal what needs healing.
You know you have healed your wounds, when you are not hurt, offended or angry.
You know you have removed your sensitive buttons, when you are peaceful and loving.
You know you have handled your “stuff”, when you simply continue loving.
Yes, people make mistakes.
People have their own wounds to heal.
People have their own upsets to clear.
However, when we take their stuff personally, it means it triggered ours.
Sometimes we have righteous beliefs about what is right and wrong.
Sometimes we claim they intended to hurt or offend us.
Sometimes we make excuses for our upset over continued behaviors.
Sometimes we are so focuses on them, we ignore what is ours.
If you are depressed, you need to heal.
If you are angry, you need to heal.
If you are hurt, you need to heal.
If you are afraid, you need to heal.
We keep playing victim, blaming the external persecutor and trying to “fix” them.
We keep seeking external saviors, therapists, judges and doctors to make it stop hurting.
We keep looking outside ourselves for the healing, instead of looking inside to cure it all.
To heal is to reveal what is really the inner cause…the thought, the memory, the confusion, the shame.
When we are happy and living our truth, others behavior belongs to them.
When we are peaceful and on purpose, we see others errors as their business.
When we are loving and kind to ourselves, we can be loving and kind to those calling for love.
When we are able to respond to our own needs quickly and easily, we take nothing personally.
When we are healed, we are not healed alone.
The only one I can change is me.
When I heal me, I set my love, creativity and forgiveness free.
When I love, respect and trust myself, I can love, trust and respect others and they learn from me.
Difficult to learn, but try it out and you will see.
The only one I can heal is me.
Loving you and loving me,
Betty Lue
Healing Relationships
You are responsible for your own happiness and inner peace.
Where we are upset (angry, hurt, afraid, judgmental), our past wounds (unhealed stuff) has been triggered.
This shows us where we have work to do.
The usual relationship habit is to try to “fix” the other person, to get them to change or stop saying or doing what has upset us. This makes the other feel “wrong” and guilty and hurt and angry and inadequate.
This only exaggerates the problem.
It is ineffective over the long term.
The real work is to heal our own woundedness, to clear our own buttons and heal our history and forgive allowing anything or anyone to hurt us.
When we have done our work, we can be truly effective, helpful and teach by example.
This is a big job.
It cannot be done overnight, but takes constant practice.
We must first take good care of ourselves mentally, physically, and spiritually.
Being conscious and taking impeccable care of ourselves is essential to quality relationships.
Begin now with learning to love, respect, trust and appreciate yourself.
The more you love, trust, respect and appreciate yourself, the more others will love, trust, respect and appreciate you.
The more you love, respect, trust and appreciate yourself, the more others will do the same for themselves and for others.
You are the living example, the teacher, with everything you think, say and do.