Relationships are primarily to heal our past.
Every upset is a past similar.
They repeat unhealed experiences of past hurt, confusion, fear, etc.
All relationships (friends, family, partners, coworkers) reveal what we have not healed.
When we are healed, we are at peace and respond with love.
When we are unhealed, we feel upset and react with fear, anger, resentment or guilt.
When we have forgiven, understood, accepted and released the past with love, we are at peace.
When we have held our limiting feelings and beliefs, we are continuously fearful and defensive.
To blame others yields guilt and separation.
To blame ourselves yields shame and fear.
To forgive others creates healing and reconnection.
To forgive ourselves creates openness and confidence.
The work in relationship is to be able to respond appropriately.
Emotional reactions distort our perception and generate fear-based reactions.
The work is to handle our emotions, our fears, assumptions and fantasies privately.
To puke and poop our emotions on others makes all parties sick.
The work is to use journaling, therapy, catharsis (emotional release), affirmation and forgiveness.
The work is to sit with oneself and search for your own inner egoic answers, assumptions and false beliefs.
The work is to use all means available to access and undo whatever is no longer true.
The work is to clear mind, body and emotions of the past, so you can clearly respond to the present.
The real reason I am upset (hurt, afraid, defensive, judging, crazy, impatient, angry, guilty, etc) is:Then write pages of what your mind tells you .
You are clearing what you made up as excuses, justifications and explanations.
You are clearing your parents’ unhealed stuff and also past generations of unhealed hurt.
When you are upset, the other party has often been bumped as well.
Clearing by both parties is extremely helpful, with a follow-up sharing taking full responsibility for healing your own buttons.
Clearing by you alone, will be totally beneficial for you and will have a positive impact on the other.
To respond neutrally and peacefully to all encounters is healing and helpful for everyone.
Take time in every relationship to heal what is revealed within yourself.
Every encounter will be healing.
Every encounter will be holy.
Because this is your healing and holy purpose.
Blessings to us all in doing the work.
Contact me if you have questions.
Betty Lue
I write these loving reminders every morning I am home at my computer ( for the last 11+ years)
They are now sent around the globe to thousands of people who have requested them.
(See years of archived reminders at lovingreminders.org) They are written for me and for you to use if and when they are valuable.
Every situation and personality is different, however there are some keys to having a happy and successful life. There are ways to creating healing and healthy relationships. There is information that will enhance your ability to respond to everyone’s healing needs. It is my intention to share the highest and best I know from life experience and by listening to the Voice of Love within. Use these reminders only if they work for you. And be grateful. Delete with ease if they don’t. Waste no energy on trying to make something fit that doesn’t resonate. Simply release and be grateful you are living in integrity with your true Self. I am always loving and sharing the best I know as I am guided in each moment.