Saturday, October 30, 2004

Family-Centered Living

What is family?
What is its purpose?
What are family values?
How can you build functional family?
These are some of the questions which I hope to encourage, inspire and invite you to ask and answer.

The family is the learning classroom in which children learn to develop their values and ideals.
Families are the learning territory for exploring behaviors and communication.
Families are the safe place in which to feel and heal one’s bruising attempts to play the game of life.
However….if your family of origin was non-existent, inoperative or dysfunctional, learning was limited.

It is never too late to build a functional family with willing friends, partners or respectful groups.
It is always possible to learn to be in respectful, responsible and cooperative relationships.
It is always possible to learn to give and receive the best with those you relate to.
It is always possible to learn to be honest in your communications without withhold or gossip.
It is always possible to learn to commit to what is good for every one with freedom and trust.
It is always possible to learn to be responsible for the quality of all relationships with no guilt or blame.
It is always possible to make life your learning classroom and humanity your family.

As a community builder and experiential learner, I have discovered what doesn’t work with many groups.
Where there is control and autocratic leadership, others stay dependent and needy or rebel and act out.
Where there is permissiveness, giving freedom without responsibility, there is anxiety and confusion.
Where there is seeing others as incapable or weak, there is difficulty holding them accountable.
Where there is no common goal or vision, there is competition and interference.
Where there is gossip without clear direct communication, there is sabotage and unfairness.
Where there is no vision of togetherness or cooperation, there is inadequate leadership and direction.
Where there are rebellion and resistance, there is frustration, resentment and futility.
Where there are martyrdom and sacrifice, there is exhaustion, covert hostility and disease.
Where there are impatience and busyness, there is taking over and doing it oneself.
Where there are floundering and failure, there is self doubt, shame and quitting.
Where there are only pain and problems, there is avoidance, addiction and rejection.

In families there are opportunities everyday to forgive mistakes and choose again.
In families we can appreciate the successes of each one and build more of the same.
In families we can heal our past ignorance and learn new ways to relate.
In families we can apologize sincerely for disrespectful communication and choose better for All.
In families we can change direction at anytime and truly make a difference in the lives of everyone.
In families we can build what we claim to want for ourselves and those we love.
In families we can be all we are here to be.

Why not commit to give those you love the best you have?
I am committed to love you with the best of me.
Betty Lue