Saturday, October 04, 2014

Conscious Relating

I am the space of freedom and trust where Love is remembered and wholeness restored.
I seek only to be truly happy and share my happiness with others.
I am a safe place for myself and others.
I easily and quickly forgive all errors in thought, word and deed.
Relating well depends on YOU!
Often folks are waiting for someone else to fix the problem.
You are the one you are waiting for.
Without you and your change of thoughts, words and behavior, nothing will happen.

Everything makes a difference.
Relationships are sensitive to subtle changes in energy, mood, tone of voice, facial expression and more.
All people use cues to determine safety of interaction.
When people and animals feel it may not be safe, they either attack or withdraw.

In conscious relating, the primary work is to become a safe place.
To explore resolving relationship issues, the conscious one must clear judgment and fear.
To be willing to become safe, one must stop being defensive and learn to be open and honest.
To become safe, we must be willing to forgive ourselves and others and allow people to simply be.

Safety means holding no judgments, criticism, resentment and hurt.
Safety means being willing to forgive, undo and release the past.
Safety in relations means building trust over time by constant attention to being trustworthy.
People and animals pay attention to all the subtleties of behavior and less attention to promises made.

Are you safe?
Do you remember what was done to you and by you in the past?
Do you hold grievances against yourself and others about what you have experienced?
Are you open to seeing and responding to all with forgiveness and love?

Are you conscious?
Do you stop yourself from hurtful thoughts, words and behavior?
Do you step up providing encouragement, open-mindedness and appreciation?
Do you listen first to understand before you try to be understood?

What you seek you will find.
When you seek to be conscious and considerate in your relationships, you become willing and aware.
When you seek to be right and determined to win, you become more unwilling and stuck in your position.
When you allow all things to change, transform and be treated with a positive mind, you will see rightly.

Life is a constant “do-over” and over and over again, until you finally let go and let it be.
What was, was. 
Everything is in our own best interest.
All things work more exquisitely than we can plan.
When you resist and negate, you will fail to open and appreciate.
So give it up and allow, let it all go and see the good learning and healing that exists right now.

Loving myself and you as we are with total happiness and peace of mind.
Betty Lue

Recommendations for All Relationships
With mates, partners, friends, children, co-workers, etc.

Keep your agreements faithfully.
(Communicate changes honestly and immediately.)

Give more than you expect to receive.
Do more than your “fair” share.

Receive everything with open appreciation.
Express your thanks sincerely and take nothing for granted.

Live your own life in integrity and on purpose.
Clarify, communicate and live your mission, your path, your principles and values.  

Be responsible for yourself, your work and live your life impeccably.
Don’t expect others to pick up after you or take care of you.

Stop using, blame, criticism or guilt to control or manipulate.
Stop making demands, threats or using neediness to get your way.

Communicate effectively and respectfully.
Request a time and place and tone of voice that works for both parties.

Be your best self in all circumstances.
Focus always on teaching by example. (and apologize immediately when you forget or neglect.)

Use your time together wisely.
Focus on meaningful, positive and inspiring conversation and activities.

Spend time, money, energy and resources only on what you value and want to increase.
Waste nothing in your relationship.  No arguing, pettiness, emotional dumping or negativity.

As circumstances change, there is a need to re-commit to what works for all participants.
Families need to meet to look at the specific needs of each individual to be at their best.
Couples need to ensure that the relationship is “serving all parties.
Business partners need to return to their original agreement and consider changing roles as needed.

Life requires that we be in relationship.
With respect for ourselves and each other there is open communication.
With responsibility for the quality of our relationships, there is a willingness to seek what works for all.
With cooperation there is encouragement to listen for ways to serve the needs of everyone.
When everyone WINS, the relationships are harmonious, peaceful and enjoyable.

Forgive the past.
Learn from any mistakes.
Heal your disappointments and hurts.
Grow with your goals.
Live with gratitude.

You make the difference you want to see.
No one else can do it for you.

Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz
Take nothing personally.
Make no assumptions.
Keep your agreements.

Always give your best.