Sunday, July 13, 2014


I quickly and easily learn from everyone and everything.
I no longer need to assume or take things personally.
I immediately forgive myself for allowing anything to hurt me.
I let go and allow only good in my life.

“Do you have any thoughts about a healthy way to express anger.  I've been talking with someone who is encouraging me to express my anger.  Any advice about a healthy, safe way to be angry would be very much appreciated by me.” From a reader willing to seek a better way.

Healthy Emotions are ‘energy in motion’. 
When your life energy is moving, you are moved to be, do and have.
When your life energy is blocked, your life energy stops moving, and gets stuck.
Anger is a build up of energy in impatience, frustration, indecision, conflicts and confusion.

All anger is energy which seeks to be expressed, either positively or negatively.
Life energy is emotional energy which responds to your direction or intention.
If you blame your blocked flow on something or someone else, you may experience anger at them.
If you take responsibility for your blocked energy flow, you may be frustrated with you.

Withheld may become depression, resentment and covert hostility.
Energy withheld and then expressed may become criticizing, yelling, swearing, abusive, violent.
We can hurt ourselves and others with anger, when we are unclear in our intention.
When we blame or feel guilty about the use of our thoughts, words and actions, we need to heal.

Unhealed emotional expression may be hurtful and misdirected.
Withheld emotional energy may create disease, pain and addiction.
Misguided emotional expression may do harm and cause guilt and retribution.
Negativity begets negativity and the unhealthy patterns become unhealthy habits.

What do I do?
I  can take responsibility for my choices, my feelings, my intentions, my words and my experiences.
When I have “yucky” or “poopy” thoughts or feelings, I choose to dump them in private.
I do not see any value in “puking” and “pooping” on others.
When I am sick, I see no value in making someone else sick.

When we are ignorant and do not know better, we may try to make others feel as bad as we do.
When we are immature, we may want to get attention or just be heard.
When we are children, we may want to get our needs met.
When we are unaware, we may use angry words, behaviors or actions because we don’t know better.

When we are grownup, we can take responsibility and choose our desired outcome.
When we know better, we can stop to see what will be effective in achieving the results we want..
When we have more experiences, we can choose what we want to experience.
When we trust ourselves, we free ourselves to do what works for us and for others.

Remember, What is truly best for you, is best for others.
When we remember this, we do not teach others to behave in immature ways.
We demonstrate by our words and behavior conscious choice and take responsibility for our feelings..
“Maturity lies in how we respond to adversity.”

Loving us all as we learn to find a better way for ourselves to live.
Betty Lue

Betty Lue, “What do you do with Anger?”

Look at your intention.
Do you want to make others feel guilty?
Do you want to get attention?
Do you want to hurt others’ feelings?
Do you want a place to dump negative energy?

Your intention determines your response or reaction.
I prefer to take responsibility for my choices, my experiences, my thoughts, emotion and behavior.
So when I have “yucky” or negative feelings, I choose to dump and clear them in private.
I choose to not share my poopy thoughts and feeling with others.

I write:
“The real reason I feel negative (angry, hurt, scared, etc)  is;”
Fill up pages with every thought or feeling that comes up, especially the ones that don’t make sense!)

My job is to be happy.
My job is to clear all that feels unhappy.
My job is to love me.
My job is to stop allowing anyone or anything to hurt or upset me.

When I am willing to take 100% responsibility for who I choose in my life, for how I take other’s words and behavior personally or not, for ever allowing anyone to hurt me, I can stand up for myself and feel good about my life.
When I forgive myself for allowing others to upset me, I am free to choose again.
I do this easily, quickly and with great freedom and trust in myself and my responsibility.

It is rare that I have anger, because I have learned none of other’s mistakes or ignorance is about me.
We only take things personally when we are off purpose.
So my whole focus is back on how to take full responsibility to be all I am meant to be.
I am not a victim of anyone or anything.
I am free to choose what and where and when and how I am here to be.
Sometime taking a step back is the key.
Sometimes taking a Potty break works to breathe and get centered in my truth.
Sometimes I simply say “thank you for sharing”.
Sometimes I recognize I am the safe place where the other can dump their pain.
Sometimes I give thank for them trusting me to show their healing needs.
Sometimes I simply see it as a private moment that I need to flush for them.

 I recognize that talking about it often engenders guilt.
Rarely does guilt create learning for anyone.
I may offer a prayer that we each learn and benefit from the error in thinking.
I may ask if they need to talk about the circumstance more, but do it in a neutral and non-blaming way.
“What would be another or better way to handle this circumstance?”

there is always more ways to respond, and I hope this helps.
Let me know if more is wanted.
Loving us all as we learn to let go in harmless and helpful ways.
Betty Lue