Saturday, May 03, 2014

Right Relationships

I am in the right place at the right time with the right relationships.
I trust my choices and free myself to choose again.
I am kind and respectful in all my relationships.
I forgive every error in my choices, agreements and completion.

(See Successful Relationships and Honorable Closure Below)

Right Relationships are respectful.
Right Relationships ate beneficial.
Right Relationships are healing.
Right Relationships are good for both.

How do you know what is right for you?
When do you know it is time to move on?
How can you tell what is working for all?
What do you do when a relationship is done.

Relationships change over time.
Individuals heal and learn and grow.
Relationships complete their right purpose.
People may be together for brief, temporary or for a lifetime.

When two people outgrow each other, they may choose to complete.
When two people no longer need one another, they may move on.
When two people are no longer inspired and inspiring, they may say good-bye.
When two people have healed and learned what they valued, they may finish what was.

When we stay because we have committed, we may stop growing.
When we stay because we are afraid, we may feel unhappy.
When we stay because we don’t want to hurt another, we may feel resentful.
When we stay because we don’t want to create discomfort, we may limit our happiness.

When we leave before we have completed our true purpose in being together, we feel unfinished.
When we leave because we want to avoid the attachments, we may feel guilty.
When we leave to stay uncommitted, we may feel selfish.
When we leave too soon or stay to long, we may miss the lessons we are there to learn.

When a relationship is right for us, we learn everyday.
When a relationship is right for us, we are inspired by relating.
When a relationship is right for us, we keep our agreements.
When a relationship is right for us, we are honest with ourself and the other.

When a relationship is not working, both parties may feel afraid.
When a relationship is not working, both may feel guilty.
When a relationship is not working, there will be limited communication.
When a relationship is not working, both will experience limited learning, growth and gratitude.

Always give your relationships the opportunity to fulfill their purpose.
Always give your very best to complete every relationship you begin.
Always trust yourself to know what is highest and best for both parties.
Always seek to leave with a win-win decision and honorable closure.

Every relationship has value.
Every relationship is work the time and effort to do your best.
Every relationship is a source of healing, learning and growth.
Every relationship is a reflection of all we need to know to awaken with love and wisdom.

Love everyone enough to complete every relationship with forgiveness and honorable closure.
Forgive your errors and the mistakes of others.
Learn from everything and you receive benefit and growth.
Trust that everything has a positive purpose when see rightly.

Blessings of awareness and trust in the Good in all things.

Betty Lue

Keys to Successful Relationships
 Joining-Create a common vision or shared goal.
 Honesty- Communicate your true intention without secrets or withholds.
 Equality-Each is giving the best they know in each moment.
 Commitment- Agree to what is highest and best for both parties.
 Responsibility- Be able and willing to respond consciously to all relationship needs without guilt or blame. Be respectful and forgiving of mistakes made.

Successful Relationships

To have successful relationships with partners, spouse, coworkers, teammates, children there are five essential factors: Joining, Honesty, Equality, Commitment, Responsibility.

Joining: All parties must share a common goal or vision for their relationship. This shared vision comes from communication regarding the needs of each individual, their vision for the future and what they share in common.

Honesty: Honest communication is sharing what really matters with no blame, guilt or withholds.
Honest is a byproduct of integrity, living one’s life on purpose with openness and appreciation.

Equality: When both parties are giving their best in each moment, there is equality.  Equality is not measured by comparison: it is experienced when there is the willingness to give one’s best even when it is less than the other.  To quit or hold back on one’s giving creates inequality.

Commitment: To commit to the fulfillment of the desired vision or goal and to the success of the relationship requires always choosing what is best for both.  Decisions are based on what is a win/win for all concerned.  One must be committed to what is highest and best for each party.

Responsibility: Being fully able and willing to respond to whatever is needed to create success through joining, honesty, equality and commitment is being fully responsible.  Where there is guilt or blame being communicated, there is inequality and victimization as well as lack of responsibility.

To be successful requires staying conscious.
To be successful requires a willingness to communicate with respect.
To be successful requires an acceptance of differences.
To be successful requires open-minded and appreciation of all parties.

To take on unconscious patterns of dysfunctional family systems will limit the success of one’s joining, honest communication, true willingness to give., total commitment to what is best for all and assuming full responsibility for the quality of the relationship.

If you want success and fulfillment in your relationships, begin today to observe what you can do to improve them in every way.  You need not depend upon the other changing in order to increase the quality of your relating.

Blessings for choosing a better way,
Betty Lue

Honorable Closure        
How do you complete a relationship, marriage, teaching-learning experience, job or friendship?
How do you know you are really complete?
People may walk away without really finishing the healing work, because it is easier emotionally.   
People don’t know how to come to a truly peaceful place, where “good-bye” is “God be with You”.

When we are complete, we are at peace and in love.  
We have no regrets, no resentments, no unhappy memories.

Honorable closure acknowledges:
1)   the learning and growth received,
2)   challenges and difficulties experienced,
3)   appreciation of gifts and blessings,
4)   forgiveness and amends made.

**Acknowledge within your self and with the other person all that you have learned and how you have grown and benefited from the experience.
**Honor and express the challenges and difficulties that occurred and perhaps were endured during the time together.
**Offer your gratitude and appreciation to the other for the benefits you received.
**Share your forgiveness and/or make amends for those places of unconscious or conscious errors of omission or commission.  Often neither party is aware of what went unexpressed until the two have an opportunity to talk together.  This is very valuable when done with the conscious intention for a peaceful conclusion.  
**And lastly, give your full appreciation and blessings to those whom you are leaving.   

Honorable closure includes a face to face or heart to heart connection so that all parties have a full opportunity to express their piece of the whole. Incompletion is never one sided. If one party loses and is in grief neither person is at peace.   If you cannot complete in person, write out your thoughts and feeling respectfully and with gratitude.  
I am grateful I have learned…  
I am grateful I was challenged……
I am grateful to have regrets which I can apologize for and learn from.
I am grateful to see how much I have received and appreciate……..

Do your part when you part.
When we complete a relationship, job, living situation with honor for all, we are free to choose again without being haunted by the past or unconsciously repeating the same patterns.

To move on, to create anew, to be fully inspired requires honorable closure.  Begin now!
Saying good-bye can be done with love, respect and profound gratitude and inner peace. Do it Now!

 Betty Lue  1983