Friday, July 26, 2013

Family Matters

Get involved or not?
Give advice or not?
Take over or not?
Criticize or not?
Help out or not?
Loan money or not?
Bail them out financially or not?
Let them live with you rent free or not?
Ask them to help you or not?
Care for elders or not?
Live with adult children or not?
Listen to gossip or not?
Blame others or not?
Feel guilty or not?
Regret past mistakes or not?
Love them anyway or not?
Forgive everyone or not?

Believe it!  You hold the key to happiness and healthy relationships.
Believe it!  You can teach trust and freedom.
Believe it!  You can let go and let Good unfold naturally.
Believe it!  You can forgive everyone for mistakes and choose.

What really matters? 
·     Never quit on love.
·     Forgive mistakes and return to Love.
·     Allow everyone to be different.
·     Trust that each one is doing the best they know.
·     Mind your own business.
·     Learn to listen without trying to fix.
·     Wait to be asked for help.
·     Stop jumping in to rescue.
·     Never sacrifice your own well-being.
·     Your peace and love is most important.
·     Clear the fear and upset before communicating.
·     Develop the habit of allowing others to choose.
·     Let people learn from their own natural consequences.
·     Do not make some special good (right) and judge the others bad (wrong).
      Love everyone in exactly the best way for them.  (
·     Give others what they appreciate, no more and no less.
·     Stop giving more to get the love and approval you want.
·     Realize that you are teaching others with your thoughts, words and behavior.
·     Observe what you are teaching and stop if no longer helpful or inappropriate.
·     Freely apologize for everything that does not work for yourself and others.
·     Ho O Pono Pono= I’m sorry.  Please forgive me.  I love you. Thank You.
·     Be open to continue learning from each one and everyone.

Loving you as you love each one you encounter in the family of humanity.
Betty Lue

Recommendations for All Relationships 
With mates, partners, friends, children, co-workers, etc.

Keep your agreements faithfully.
(Communicate changes honestly and immediately.)

Give more than you expect to receive. 
Do more than your “fair” share.

Receive everything with open appreciation.
Express your thanks sincerely and take nothing for granted.

Live your own life in integrity and on purpose.
Clarify, communicate and live your mission, your path, your principles and values.  

Be responsible for yourself, your work and live your life impeccably. 
Don’t expect others to pick up after you or take care of you.

Stop using, blame, criticism or guilt to control or manipulate.
Stop making demands, threats or using neediness to get your way.

Communicate effectively and respectfully.
Request a time and place and tone of voice that works for both parties.

Be your best self in all circumstances.
Focus always on teaching by example. (and apologize immediately when you forget or neglect.)

Use your time together wisely.
Focus on meaningful, positive and inspiring conversation and activities.

Spend time, money, energy and resources only on what you value and want to increase.
Waste nothing in your relationship.  No arguing, pettiness, emotional dumping or negativity.

As circumstances change, there is a need to re-commit to what works for all participants.
Families need to meet to look at the specific needs of each individual to be at their best.
Couples need to ensure that the relationship is “serving all parties.
Business partners need to return to their original agreement and consider changing roles as needed.

Life requires that we be in relationship.
With respect for ourselves and each other there is open communication.
With responsibility for the quality of our relationships, there is a willingness to seek what works for all.
With cooperation there is encouragement to listen for ways to serve the needs of everyone.
When everyone WINS, the relationships are harmonious, peaceful and enjoyable.