Monday, February 25, 2013

Communication at Its Best!

I  highly recommend you listen to my Sunday talk at under Past Talks. 2/24/13

“What Do You Say?”

Be in good Spirits.
If you are tired, hungry, rushed, busy, distracted, you cannot communicate consciously.
When you are upset, angry, resentful, hurt or feeling sorry, you cannot be effective.
Take impeccable care of yourself first, last and always.
To sacrifice or martyr is to invoke guilt rather than inspire.

Know and Live Your Values and Priorities
If you value peace, make sure you stay at peace.
If you value love, use thoughts and words that are loving.
If you value healing, use every moment with healing intention.

Set an Intention, goal or purpose for every encounter.
If giving advice or opinions, make sure you have been invited or asked.
Make sure the time is clear and good for both.
There must be gratitude and some compensation at the end. (smile, hug, sharing, thanks)

Create a safe environment.
Create a confidential space with not interruptions.
Set a time and place that are respectful of all parties.
Honor  your needs and those of the other. (Time, respect, resources, etc.)

Recognize You Love You.
If you love. trust and respect yourself, you will speak with love, trust and respect for others.
Recognize that what you share (your message) is always for you first.
Understand that what you give the other is given to yourself.

Know that you do not Know!
Know that you do not understand.
Know that you want to give, improve, contribute, bless, extend peace.
Know that want only to communicate only the highest and best!

Listen within.
I am asking that this conversation be a blessed one.
I am inviting Holy Spirit to speak to me and through me.
I am open and willing to inspire and teach only Love.

If needed, Take a break or time out! 
If you are not in the right place or right time,
If conversation disintegrates or feels hurtful.
If you lose your focus, inspiration or your cool.

Live , love, give your best and highest Truth.
Show up, Pay attention, Tell the High Truth and Detach.
Be openly grateful for the opportunity to share.
Choose to acknowledge your love and respect openly.

Types of common communication:
Casual conversation. Give respect, love and gratitude.
They have a need.  Listen and give only what is asked or invited.
You have a need. Share your need with your feelings, your desire and your willingness.
There is a conflict of needs.  Identify needs, brainstorm possibilities, choose ones that work for both.
Values conflict. Model your values, state your differences clearly, see from the others perspective.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. 

Communicate your best and only Good will follow!
Loving you,  
Betty Lue


Assertive People Do:
  1. Decide what they want.
  2. Decide if it is fair.
  3. Ask for it clearly.
  4. Are not afraid of taking risks.
  5. Are calm and relaxed.
  6. Express feelings openly.
  7. Give and take compliments easily.
  8. Accept and give fair evaluation.

Assertive People Do not:
  1. Beat about the bush.
  2. Go behind other people's backs.
  3. Bully.
  4. Call people names.
  5. Bottle up their feelings.

Aids For Developing Assertiveness:
  1. Models
   2. Love and encouragement
   3. Caring evaluation
   4. A sense of values
   5. A basic feeling of security

Comparing Responses
There are two primitive, adaptive, instinctive responses when encountering a problem area:  1)  a desire for flight or 2)  a desire to fight. We mostly experience these responses as fear or anger.  Both responses are basically "back-brain" or reactive in nature.  Assertiveness brings the "fore-brain" into play, bringing objectivity and "rationality".

The more I respect myself, the more I respect others.
The more I respect myself, the more others respect me.
The more I respect myself, the more others respect themselves.
Therefore, I choose to respect myself more.