Thursday, November 01, 2012

Basic Reminders for all Relationships

The material in this single email could teach you everything, if you want to learn.

1.     Communicate with Respect.

2.     Relate with Consideration.

3.     Listen with Patience.

4.     Respond with Acceptance.

5.     Speak Your Mind with Kindness.

6.     Make Agreements  that Benefit All.

7.     Decide with Integrity.

8.     Behave in Adult Manner.

9.     Work Together as Team.

10.  Enjoy Sharing Your Learning.

It may be difficult learning how to have an honest healthy relationship, but it is worth it.
The role models you see may behave in immature ways, but you don’t need to follow.
The bad habits of arguing, yelling, put downs and silent treatment must be eradicated.
There is no room in a respectful loving relationship for anything less than consideration and kindness.

Common MistakesDO NOT! (These are learned immature and irresponsible behaviors)

·     Treat and talk to family and partners however you feel like.

·     Make the other person guilty, because you want them to feel bad.

·     Threaten quitting or taking away something or not loving them anymore.

·     Talk to others about what you don’t like about your family or friends. (Gossip) 

·     Blame others for talking or behaving in ways that upset us.

·     Think, say and do hurtful and destructive things.

1.    Treat everyone as an honored guest.

2.    Apologize for your errors and forgive yourself.

3.    Make others feel valuable and appreciated.

4.    Let people know directly that you care about their happiness. “I love You.”

5.    Forgive your judgments of others and talk with them directly about your concerns.

6.    When upset about anything, take time to ask yourself: “What is the real reason, I am upset?”

7.    Consult with an expert, when you need help and never gossip or share without permission. 

8.    Maintain confidence and trust in every relationship by maintaining confidentiality.

9.    Honor yourself and your family member or friend with frequent open appreciation.

10.  Set aside daily quality time with each family member. Even 5 minutes/day to listen.

11.  Teach people how to treat one another by how you treat everyone.

12.  When you see children or partner acting out, listen to what they might need.

13.  Make it safe for others to share with you by responding always and only with kindness and care.

If you cannot make corrections with others, begin to work on love, trust and respect of yourself.
Healing begins within.
The more you are kind to yourself, the more you will be kind to others.
The more you are kind to others, the more they will be kind to you,
The more you are kind to yourself and others, the more they will be kind to one another
And so it is, we all are blessed and benefitted by your kindness.

Bless us all for our willingness to find a better way.
Betty Lue

Always seek what YOU CAN DO!
Never be looking for what to teach or tell the other. (unless they ask you for advice or help).

One person can change the quality of the relationship.  
If you are reading this, you are the One.

Feel free to email me your questions.  
Blessing you in all your relationships. 
Betty Lue

Healthy Relationships—Spiritual Definitions and Guidelines
Healthy= what works for both parties
Relationship= where we see something other than ourselves
To be in a healthy relationship:
We see all with the eyes of Love, nothing to be feared, judged or avoided.  
Physical world is to heal our perceptions.  We see so we can heal.
Healing is awareness with no judgment, awareness with Love.
To heal is to release our judgments and renew our perception of wholeness and holiness.

Keys to Successful Relationships

Vision—Sharing a common goal.  This implies having the same picture and working together, supporting one another in the fulfillment of that vision.  When the goals are completed, new goals must be set.
Recommend: Set the Highest possible goal for your relationship with life. 

Honesty—Be willing to be self-disclosive and honest about your current viewpoint.  No need to gossip, rehash the past or compare with others.  Be present moment in acknowledging your own lack of peace and responsibility for your own happiness.  Erase with love=Forgiveness.  True honesty is LOVE.

Equality—All are equal, no one better or worse, no one right or wrong.  Each one is a teacher for everyone.  Open to giving and receiving the natural gifts being given.  Acknowledge your thoughts, words and behavior are teaching allGive your very best all the time.  Teach what you want to learn.

Commitment—Be genuinely committed to living your Highest Truth.  Live by your spiritual principles.  Be true to your word.  Keep your agreements and promises to yourself and to others.   Support everyone in what is for the Highest Good of All.  Be unselfish in your commitments. 

Response-ability—Our perception, our judgment and subsequent emotions are totally our responsibility.  To be in successful relationship we must take impeccable care of our own happiness by maintaining a state of constant forgiveness, letting go of our preferences and seeing what is with Love.

In relationships we learn to heal our attachments and free ourselves from the judging mind which traps us in the roller coaster of emotional highs and lows.  In relationship we learn that trust, patience, tolerance, gentleness, honesty, generosity, open-mindedness, defenselessness, joy, faithfulness give us everything we want.
Practice with everyone and everything.  Life is our learning lab. Use life with kindness and gratitude.

Viewpoints from Mind-Mapping for Marketing.
In relationship our work is to let go of our likes and dislikes.  See what is and trust in the process.  Love is being aware and at peace with what appears to be.  Hold nothing in judgment.  Let go and Love.
Amoral.......... I don’t care about anything.  ............................................................. infancy
Ego................. Its all about me.  I am needy.............................................................. toddler
Pleaser.......... Whatever I can do to please you.  How can I make you happy? ..... latency
Authority...... Don’t tell me.  I know and I am right................................................ adolescent
Responsible.. I am willing to do my part.  Fair. Care. Share.................................... adulthood
Principled..... I live in integrity with my values.  Authentic and on purpose.......... maturity
Universal...... Whatever serves the Good of All.  We are One................................. enlightened