Friday, October 05, 2012

Where Have All The Grownups Gone?

What Is Mature Adult Behavior?
Mature adults are responsible for themselves their choices, finances, relationships and their lives.
Mature adults do not make excuses for their mistakes. 
Mature adults apologize and make amends without self blame.
Mature adults pay their bills and taxes on time.
Mature adults are on time for work and for appointments.
Mature adults learn from others and teach others by their example.
Mature adults explore opportunities for a better way of living.
Mature adults can make changes without complaining about the current situation.
Mature adults live in integrity with their self chosen clear values and ethics.
Mature adults consider others before making decisions for themselves.
Mature adults are respectful in their communication.
Mature adults create the experiences they want to have.
Mature adults are willing to be helpful when they are able.
Mature adults take criticism as an opportunity to improve.
Mature adults listen before needing to interrupt or get in the last word.
Mature adults share their best with their loved ones.
Mature adults have self discipline and self control.
Mature adults attempt to give their best and be their best.
Mature adults appreciate their own accomplishments and others.
Mature adults help their neighbors and friends and family as needed.
Mature adults turn difficulties into challenges to strengthen themselves.
Mature adults are more interested in doing the right thing rather than being “right”.
Mature adults trust their principles and inner knowing instead of following another.
Mature adults are looking for other perspectives rather than getting agreement.
Mature adults listen to emotions and listen to their mind and heart to make decisions.
Mature adults keep their agreements or change them with clear communication and respect.
Mature adults get the work done with appreciation and sense of fulfillment.
Mature adults enjoy the fruits of their labor and balance their lives with enjoyment.
Mature adults think before they speak their truth, with clear intention for a positive outcome.
Mature adults are independent and co-create interdependence with others who are not needy.
Mature adults have clear boundaries, ethics, values and live their lives accordingly.
Mature adults are respectful for their bodies, their boundaries, their families and their resources.
Mature adults do not endanger themselves or others with addictive or out of control behaviors.

Many adults are not behaving in an adult manner.
Many adults display irresponsible behavior.
Many adults (over 21 and beyond) have no role models for being an adult.
Many adults only know how to fight, threaten, argue and hurt others to get their way.
Many current role models on TV and politics do not display adult behavior.

Where have all the grownups gone?
Many therapists now see the age of taking full responsibility for ones lives as being in the 30’s and 40’s.
Median age of leaving parents’ home is about 26.
Perhaps we have created a world where is it too easy and acceptable to be dependent on others.

Have we lost our way and our will to be responsible and raise responsible adults??
It truly IS Fun, Safe and Easy!
Betty Lue

Recommendations for All Relationships 
With mates, partners, friends, children, co-workers, etc.

Keep your agreements faithfully.
(Communicate changes honestly and immediately.)

Give more than you expect to receive. 
Do more than your “fair” share.

Receive everything with open appreciation.
Express your thanks sincerely and take nothing for granted.

Live your own life in integrity and on purpose.
Clarify, communicate and live your mission, your path, your principles and values.  

Be responsible for yourself, your work and live your life impeccably. 
Don’t expect others to pick up after you or take care of you.

Stop using, blame, criticism or guilt to control or manipulate.
Stop making demands, threats or using neediness to get your way.

Communicate effectively and respectfully.
Request a time and place and tone of voice that works for both parties.

Be your best self in all circumstances.
Focus always on teaching by example. (and apologize immediately when you forget or neglect.)

Use your time together wisely.
Focus on meaningful, positive and inspiring conversation and activities.

Spend time, money, energy and resources only on what you value and want to increase.
Waste nothing in your relationship.  No arguing, pettiness, emotional dumping or negativity.

Life requires that we be in relationship.
With respect for ourselves and each other there is open communication.
With responsibility for the quality of our relationships, there is a willingness to seek what works for all.
With cooperation there is encouragement to listen for ways to serve the needs of everyone.
When everyone WINS, the relationships are harmonious, peaceful and enjoyable.

Blessings to us all in our willingness to continue to explore and find better ways of relating,  
Betty Lue