Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Learn to Say, “Yes”

“Yes” says I affirm.
“Yes” says I agree.
“Yes” says I hear you.
“Yes” says I receive.

“Yes” says I thank You.
“Yes” says I am willing.
“Yes” says I believe you.
“Yes” says I am with you.

When we are asked, we need to listen for the real question.
When we are invited, we hear the true intention.
When we are given to, we need to receive the real gift.
When we are demanded we need to hear the true calling.

Often in defensiveness and self protection, we jump to the wrong conclusion.
We are saying “No” to our past experiences.
We are saying “No “ to what we fear.
We are saying “No” because we are not able to comply.

For the “pleaser” it is valuable to learn to say “No” in an honest way.
“I hear you asking for ……… “
“Is that what you really want?”
“I hear and appreciate your request.
“I am able to do this or give you this at another time.”

For the martyr, it is important that we teach by acknowledging that we must take care of our needs first.
For the super-giver, it is important that we teach the self-centered taker or user how to give to themselves.
For the “too busy to be bothered”, it is important that we are honest about how we are over-committed.
For the one who is willing and able it is valuable to acknowledge: “Thanks for asking. That would give me joy.”

Some statements of “Yesness”:
“Yes, I appreciate your invitation. I cannot participate at this time.”
“Yes, I hear you want to sell something. I would like you take me off your call list.”
“Yes, I thank you for thinking of me. This is not something that serves or inspires me at this time.”
“Yes, I hear you are hungry. You can have either carrot sticks or an apple before dinner.”
“Yes I get you want my attention. I would prefer that you ask me softly with a smile, Mommy please give me a hug.”
“Yes, I hear you need my help. I will be able to give your 10 minutes of my full attention after dinner.”

And when someone, says “I love you.” Or “I really appreciate you.”, our gift to them is to receive it with “YES, that feels so wonderful. I really appreciate and value your love and gratitude.”

Saying “YES” is fun, safe, easy and very effective in all communication.
Saying “NO” closes communication, so find something to respond with “YES”.

“Yes, to you my dear friends and spiritual family.”
Yes, Betty Lue