Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Self-Serving Love is Conditional Love.

To take impeccable care of oneself, one must give up the idea that the other is responsible for our needs.
To be responsible for oneself, we must honor our right to be happy and healthy first.
To honor our need to be whole, we must stop blaming anyone for our woundedness and neediness.
To stop blaming anyone, we must give up victimization consciousness and forgive our judgments.
To give up being a victim, we must see ourselves healed and whole.
To see ourselves healed and whole, we must forgive our beliefs that we are lacking and limited.
To forgive ourselves, we must give our minds to the Higher Mind for enlightenment.
To give our thoughts and feelings to Source, we must surrender our belief that we know what is best.
To surrender our beliefs, we must trust there is another way which is healing, helpful and loving.
To trust we must practice our faith by listening within to the Essence of our Being, our God Self.
To listen within, we discipline ourselves to stop, look again (respect), listen within and ask for the Truth.

To be respectful, responsible, cooperative and co-creative in relationship is daily work.
The work is to be aware of when we are blaming, expecting, feeling hurt and needy.
The work is to forgive all judgments of ourselves and the other, so we can find inner peace.
The work is to allow ourselves to seek the Loving way to relate with no win or lose, no right way.
The work is to commit to be responsible for our own thoughts and feelings.
The work is to use every upset as an opportunity to see the mis-belief and to heal ourselves from within.
The work is to honor our process without dumping our pain and problems on another.
The work is to be respectful of the other, responsible for ourselves and to join in peace and love.

Common mistakes:
We take out our pain on our loved ones, partners and children.
We blame those close to us for not fixing us and expect them to make us happy.
We believe that a life without upset is the responsibility of someone else.
We let people know when we are upset and unhappy to make them feel responsible.
We think guilt and threat will get us what we want.
We hold back love as ransom to get love in return and only leave ourselves without Love.
We judge that if the other were loving, they would take care of our feelings.
We imagine that attack and judgment will fix the problem.
We punish the other and ourselves by hanging onto unhappiness and anger.
We mistake fear-based love for respect, when we really want to be loving and kind to others.
We actually believe that fighting, threatening and making wrong will help us win something.

The ego (Edging God Out) is in charge in all these errors.
Step back and let Love lead the way.
The more you love and respect yourself, the more others love and respect you.
Give what you want to receive. Forgiveness, Peace, Love, Joy, Trust, Understanding.
Forgive yourself and others immediately for errors of unconscious omission or commission.
Stop and listen within for the creative and loving solution.
Trust that the spiritual answer is always one in which no one loses.
Be willing to be wrong.
Recognize that our judgments mean nothing, because we can only see from our own perspective.
Love is trust and freedom. Love is not judgment and limitation.

Loving you,
Betty Lue

Note: Summer class/group on Monday Evenings.7-8:30PM, June 5-August 7 (10 weeks)
Relationship Coaching: Promoting Healing and Helpful, Healthy and Whole Relationships
With Betty Lue and Robert in my offices, 140 Mayhew Way, Suite 1000.
Limited space, so please register by May 15. $175 paid in advance or $25/eve.