Saturday, March 11, 2006

Badgering and Begging

Complaining and whining are simply one way to get attention.
Badgering and begging are one way to get what you want.
Children use these methods, when they get results.
Family systems develop communication methodologies which work for them.

When behavior is rewarded, it is reinforced.
When behavior is ignored, it is extinguished.
(Sometimes on first try and sometimes after some time.)
Ask yourself what are you reinforcing in your relationships?

Children may whine and cry, plead and bargain.
Adults may complain, threaten, demand and convince.
The truly needy and "helpless" may beg, barter, look pitiful and cry.
What you reward with attention, goods, and sympathy will be continued.

Persistence is a positive trait and will eventually lead to desired outcome.
Faith and hope are valuable to keep us going on our journey to success.
We have a culture which currently rewards the squeaky wheel and the most needy.
Perhaps its origin is at home with our children.

Communication means "coming together in understanding as one."
Our grandchildren do not need to cry, because they are heard and respected.
Their needs are honored and met with loving response.
They need not beg for attention or cry to be heard.
In my family of origin and the families and working centers I have create since childhood, there is no complaining, arguing, convincing, begging or threatening.
There is request and response, sometimes discussion with each person communicating their own needs.
Problem solving is needed occasionally in order to find a solution in which all parties win.
People speak with one another in an adult way, even as children.

In your life, are you giving everyone in your family the respect they deserve?
When you see another's body language or facial expression, how do you respond?
Are you noticing what needs are calling to be met by the most conscious and loving One?
Are you willing to honor and treat others as you want to be treated?
Do you respect someone when they tell you "no"?
Are you willing to say "no" to others without fearing disapproval?
Can you begin to build all your relationships to support honest open communication and respect.?
Are you willing to create solutions in which no one loses?
Do you seek first to stand before bing understood?
Do you listen for other's needs as much as your own?
Can you give up all complaining, whining, badgering, begging, demanding and threatening?
Are you open to reward respectful and mature requests and ignore or educate those who are unaware?
Can you give up the habit of needing to be right?

I am trusting we can and will teach our children to respect themselves with all requests.
I bless you in teaching by your example with your thoughts, words and interactions.

Loving you,
Betty Lue

Give the people you love better words when they forget how to ask respectfully.

Wow! Grandpa got me a new ball!
I know how to roll it back and forth with him.

Grandma laughs and claps for me.

Thank you Grandpa! I love it!
Let’s play together!