Sunday, July 31, 2005

Parenting Values

Parents adopt many roles and functions in the raising of children.
Their chosen roles depend on their spiritual development, the modeling of their parents, their level of psychological, physical and financial health, the mores of their culture, and their life circumstances.
How we approach parenting and grand-parenting and family interactions depends on what we value.

It has been my observation that we change values, goals and commitment to parenting.
Some parents lose interest and some claim a renewed interest.
Some parents avoid the job of parenting and some pass it to others.
Some parents are too busy raising money to raise children.
Some parents see children as a distraction or nuisance and try to avoid and ignore their children.
Some parents take credit and enhance their personal worth through their children's accomplishments..
Some strive to become parents and become despondent, if not blessed with children.
Some parents see the job of raising children, as their primary reason for being married.
Some parents see the job of parenting, as the wedge that drives them apart and ruins the marriage.
Some parents find the job exhausting and challenging.
Some parents find parenting inspiring and fulfilling.
Parents are role models, coaches, disciplinarians, teachers, listeners, homework helpers and monitors, comforters, schedulers, chauffeurs, and the ones who provide food, shelter, medical care, values and spiritual guidance. Parents are essential to the conscious respectful and healthy raising of children.

The roles and functions adopted by parents are related to their psychological health and stress level even more than the modeling of their own parents. While you may not find your parents within these few examples, you probably can find yourself and your own parenting values.

In our culture there is an increasing devaluing of the parental role and process.
My own Dad said, "Being a mother was the most important job in the world."
While I embraced his ideal and knew my mother was his choice due to her ideal parental quotient, I myself took some divergent paths, due to single parenting and believing when my children were of school age and did not need my undivided energies. I dedicated myself to my practice and spiritual calling.
So I am aware of the shifts and changes in our culture.

Within our society we need to assess where we are and envision where we would like to go.
What are we now with all children?
What is our ideal for all children?
What is possible within the systems we have in place?
What can we do as individuals and collectively?

Raising consciousness is always the first step.
However, becoming more aware means seeing and acknowledging our mistakes.
So we often would rather cover the mistakes with ignoring or denying them.
What can I do? What can you do?
I can be present?
I can ask inside and to others, "What is needed?
I can admit my mistakes and seek to change them.
I can give myself the opportunity to "make amends".
I can spend time, energy and resources on what I value.
I can live my life honoring my values everyday.
I can tell the truth without hedging, compromising or trying to protect others.
I can be authentic, clear and committed.
I can choose everyday in everyway what to do and say to support what I value.

I am here to inspire and be inspired by an every self-healing world.
Let's wake up together in love and happy.
Betty Lue

Below you see the light that shines with me and you and all of us. This is the precious and innocent light of trust and freedom sharing the joy and love of God and Good for all to see and receive.