Saturday, December 18, 2004

Pay Attention To What?

What did you learn?
When you were in your “formative years”, what was the teaching of your parents and elders?
When you were learning how to relate, what was demonstrated to be most important?
When you were figuring out how to navigate through this world, what were the lane markers?

Each one of us has an internal guidance system that nudges or hollers at us to “pay attention”.
Every one learns to attend to themselves and their own needs for survival or to the significant other’s need for approval or to the worldly needs for service. Thus, we adapt to be self-preserving, relational or social/global in our habitual/instinctual response to life.

When we own our learned way of perceiving our world and filling the needs therein, we can honor what has most import for us. We also can notice what is our weakness, is ignored and give more attention when attention is due.

What seeks your attention?
What do you miss or ignore?
Where do others misunderstand you?
Where to you avoid or misunderstand others attention or lack of attention?
How do we all perceive something different and sometimes miss the obvious?

Those learning to take care of themselves, because no one else had the time or energy, often learn not to count on others. They do it themselves. If they learned their way of getting love, approval or reward was to be self sufficient, they learn to succeed on their own. If they were responsible for their own well-being from early childhood, they may have learned to attend to their own self preservation first. This might seem selfish or narcissistic, but often was essential to survive and thrive.

Those learning to pay attention to parents, to listen and pay attention to one or two primary characters on their stage in life, may have learned to seek out the “special” one and give their all to that significant other. They may have found that life worked with most ease and contentment by giving their best to one special friend or family member. Thus, their learned habit for safety and belonging was to focus on one at a time. They may find themselves seeking for that special one, intimacy and connection at a soulful level.
In these intimate relationships they may find satisfaction and fulfillment. This relational focus is often intense, connected and powerful when fully met by another. It may be painful, confusing and frightening when denied, abused or abandoned by others.

Those learning to pay attention to the world at large, those less fortunate or the family as a whole, will develop the ability to take a more global approach. Their focus becomes one of attending to the greater Good of all concerned. They may take charge or lead the group to ensure equality, fairness and the highest outcome for all concerned. They may ignore themselves or step away from special relationships in order to honor their learned response to their family, group or workplace. At a party or meeting, they might ignore individual requests and their own needs in order to serve the needs of the group. This global or social perspective may be so focused on attending to the benefit of everyone that they ignore their own needs and those of their family or specific individuals.

None of these paths are right or wrong. They simply are. When we uncover what “runs” us, we can seek to explore a more balanced perspective or simply acknowledge our value for the one we have chosen.

I acknowledge I am highly motivate by the Greater Good and global perspective. I acknowledge I choose to take impeccable care of myself so that I can contribute to the greater Good. I acknowledge that my “special relationships” are learning and healing opportunities, so I can learn to serve all and can foster others becoming more aware of how they serve the Greater Good. This is my perspective and my purpose for being. I honor and respect my calling and my choice.

I invite you to acknowledge your perspective, your choice and commitment and know it is Good.
There is no “right” way to be. Good comes from choosing to respect and value your own way of Being…

Loving you,
Betty Lue