Friday, May 24, 2019

Parenting Today

I take tine to listen and respect what others want.
I acknowledge I don’t know what is best for others.
I forgive my mistakes and choose with more mindfulness.
I pay attention and learn from everyone, no matter what their age

The answers below can be applied to all ages, even ourselves!

Kids Are Obvious.

Is anyone paying attention?
Their behavior communicates, if we are paying attention.
If we cannot understand, are we willing to listen?
If they do not do what we ask, do we take the time to care?

My first response to a Mom who is dealing with a 4 yr. old who throws fits.

Kids copy what they see and hear.
What does he see?
What does he hear?
Is he being treated fairly and respectfully?

Start with the basics.
Where has he learned the behavior he displays?
Who listens to him?
How do the adults in his life respond to him?

Where and with whom does he “throw a fit?
Always look to yourself and see what you can do different.
Start here and then begin to look at what he needs more of.
Structure is important and so is freedom.

Being responsible is important and so is making good choices.
Can he choose what he wants to eat and wear and do?
Is he doing what is age appropriate?
Does he need something different than you or day care provides?

This behavior is also seen in rebellious teens and argumentative adults.
We often experience the same behavior in kids 13-14, ten years later.
It is normal to try to become more free and independent.
It is beneficial to learn to make your own decisions.

Kids may need guidance to make good decisions and do the right thing.
Kids of every age need positive role models and good opportunities to make good choices.
Kids must be treated with respect and given responsibilities appropriate for their age.
Parents often are unaware of what fits their child’s level of development.  (See responsibility list below)

My mom believed, “Give everyone (kids) as much responsibility as they can handle plus a little more to grow into!”
I believe we tend to underestimate our kids and treat them in ways that limit their decision-making.
When they get “free” of adult authority, they either act out and go crazy or are afraid and shut down.
Our work is to make the next generation, stronger and healthier, more conscious, caring and capable.

Let’s consider what we want for the next generation and give them the opportunity to be their best.
Consciously and respectfully,
Betty Lue

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with: criticism, hostility, fear, pity, ridicule or jealousy,
They will learn to: condemn, fight, be apprehensive, feel sorry for themselves, feel shy and feel envy.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and others.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
From Dr. Wayne Dyer
What Do You Want More Than Anything For Your Children?
          Value Themselves
•           Be Risk Takers
•           Self-Reliance
•           Freedom from Stress and Anxiety
•           Have Peaceful Lives
•           Celebrate Present Moments
•           Experience a Lifetime of Wellness
•           Creativity
•           Fulfill Their Higher Needs
•           Feel A Sense of Purpose

YOU must Demonstrate / Model:
• The ability to enjoy life.
• Be a positive example.
• Clarify what you know and how you feel.
• Be expressive (Feel–Want–Willing

Average children do things right.
No limit children do the right thing. 

Basic Principles for Building Self-Esteem in Your Children
1.         You must model self-respect.
2.         Treat each child as a unique individual.
3.         A child is not his actions.
4.         Provide opportunities to be responsible and make decisions.
5.         Teach enjoyment of life each day.
6.         Provide praise rather than criticism.
7          We become what we think about. Our thinking determines our self-image

To Raise A Child’s Self-Portrait (Self-Image)
1.         Encourage children to be risk-takers rather than always taking the safe road.
2.         Discourage children from all self put downs.
3.         Reduce emphasis on external measures of success.
4.         Work at reducing whining and complaining behavior.
5.         Encourage excitement about everything in life.
6.         Encourage children to choose independence rather than dependence.
7.         Teach children to be non-judgmental.
8.         Encourage children to be honest with themselves.
9.         Be aware in the importance of appearance to young people.
10.       Encourage healthy thinking.
11.       Catch children doing something right. Remind them of how terriffic they are.
12.       Treat children as total and complete, now.
13.       Hold them, touch them, kiss them.
14.       Listen carefully to your children.
15.       Give them opportunities to be unique.
16        Encourage their friends to “hang out” at your home.
17.       Read aloud with them at all ages.
18.       Be involved in their age-related activities.