Friday, February 22, 2019

Listen to Your Words

I honor others by speaking with respect and kindness.
I listen and receive messages I share.
Everything I teach is a loving reminder for me.
I speak with integrity, encouragement and Love.

Below are some Communication aids.

Listen To What You Are Saying!

Everything you say is your teaching.
Everything you say is what you need to hear.
Everything you say is your message to your world.
Everything you say is what you want others to know about you.

Words create long lasting impressions.
Words hold the truth about what you think of you.
Words demonstrate what you profess to be your truth.
Words cannot be taken back once they are said.

Be careful with your language.
Stop vulgarity, name-calling, shaming and belittling.
Stop using your words to attack or make others wrong.
Stop treating others as you don’t want to be treated.

The words you use can heal or hurt.
The language you use can inspire or offend.
The truths you tell can bless or curse.
The speech you use can create or destroy.

Every person we encounter is an opportunity to teach.
Every relationship is a chance to make amends.
Every work we do is a way we can make life better.
Every moment we can use our words to create what we really want.

The habits of our mind create the habits of our mouth.
When we use our mouth for vulgarity, we make ourselves sick.
When we use our mouth for kindness, we make ourselves well.
When we use our words to inspire, encourage and appreciate, we make everyone better.

Think before you speak.
Take pause before you criticize.
Hold your tongue before you hurt someone.
Better to say nothing than to be wrong.

Remember the adage:
If you cannot say something kind, say nothing at all.
Better to be silent than to speak from emotion.
Better to listen than to speak falsely.

Speaking from emotion distorts your perception.
Drama escalates and exaggerates.
Negative creates more negative.
Nothing is accomplished through using fighting words.

Speak to others as you want to be spoken to.
Blessings of good in what we all say to one another.
Betty Lue

Listen with an open and quiet mind.
Wait your turn to speak.
Appreciate what others say.
Honor all differences.
Respect everyone’s communication.
Seek to understand before being understood.
Put first things first.
Happy Relationships before being Right!

Do Not:
Interrupt or chime in without receiving permission.
Judge what others are saying.
Believe your ideas are more important.
Disagree or correct what others are saying.

Toxic thoughts, words and actions must be dumped in safe ways.
Never puke and poop on people.
What is hurtful and makes up sick must be released in private dumping grounds.
Learn to flush the toilet, write it and burn it, let it go to do no harm.

1) Nagging and Criticism ( Use constructive requests and be specific.)
2) Defensiveness (Listen and make no excuses.)
3) Contempt with Name-Calling, Belittling and Shaming ( No using guilt or blame.)
4) Stone-Walling, Ignoring and silent treatment  ( Talk or write when calm.)
5) Belligerence, Threatening, Demanding  
Forgive yourself for using power to get your way.

Calm tone of voice and be on the same level.
Ask permission to speak
Tune in to where they are with desire to understand.
Give what will create the greatest safety and respect.
Talk with kindness and in private.
Step away until both parties are calm.  Use time-outs as needed.
Defuse the stress, urgency and upset, before attempting to talk.
Be clear when you don’t have time or patience to listen.
Write communication to avoid confrontations and arguments.
Allow all parties time to think about their needs and possible equitable solutions.
Encourage using “I feel….., I want…… and I am willing………
Seek cooperative agreement, rather than punishment, threat or demand.
Open your heart to understand (“Walk in their shoes”)
Choose an outcome where everyone wins.