Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Building Trust

I trust myself to do my very best.
The more I trust myself, the more I trust others.
The more I trust myself, the more others trust me.
The more I trust myself, the more others trust themselves and trust others.

Rebuilding Trust

Without trust there is fear.
Without trust there is insecurity.
Without trust, we don’t feel safe.
Without trust, we feel separate and alone.

When partners don’t trust one another, they feel anxious.
When children don’t trust their parents, they feel confused and afraid.
When people don’t trust, they feel vigilant, suspicious and on guard.
When nations don’t trust, they feel defensive, protective and threatened.

Treating others with the same feelings of distrust creates more distrust.
When we act defensive and demanding, others feel more distrusting.
When parents and partners are constantly on guard and angry, others feel distrusted.
When we question, withdraw, avoid, behave in unloving ways, distrust is reinforces and increases.

We must learn to trust ourselves by being consistent.
We must live in integrity by keeping our word.
We must do what we say and say what we are going to do.
And when we change our mind, our plans, our lives, we must be upfront and communicate clearly.

Children learn to be distrust when parents are volitle, addicted, inconsistent with words and actions.
Children have a reason to be distrusting when parents are absent, negligent and inconsistent emotionally.
Children fear trusting their parents when they have been confused, abused and used .
Children long for a safe place which they can count on for the long haul.

Parents who behave in emotional, erratic and immature ways cannot be trusted.
Children learn to trust they cannot count on parents for anything, which creates great anxiety and depression.
One of the more pro-active ways to deal with untrustworthy adults is to be angry and act out their fears.
When we can use our energy to effect change and get others to listen, we begin to gain feelings of power.

To trust our world, trust authority figures, trust there is something to trust, we must have consistency.
To rebuild trust in families, there must be routing and regular schedules.
What is promised must be given and done on a regular basis.
Anxiety is most easily calmed with consistent meals, bedtime, activities and togetherness.

Uncertainty causes anxiety.
Inconsistency creates uncertainty.
Fear causes both acting out and withdrawal.
Constant change creates either a need to control or give up.

Parents, employers, leaders and authority figures must be reliable and accountable to be trusted.
When authority figures are principle centered, others experience consistent communication and learn to trust.
When our world feels stable, secure and save, children and adults feel peaceful, calm and trusting.
When our environment feels unstable, insecure and unsafe,  people may feel anxious, angry or depressed.

It is time to create a safe world for ourselves and others.
It is our choice to build trust for ourselves and others.
We can make better choices of principles, people, places and priorities.
Each one of us is responsible for the safety, security and sanity in our own domain.

Let us rebuild trust one day at a time.
Loving and trusting we can just do it!
Betty Lue

Trust Begins with me.