Thursday, February 11, 2016

What Works?

I am here to be truly helpful.
I watch and listen for what works for everyones’ benefit.
I choose to treat everyone as I want to be treated.
I am respectful, helpful and conscientious in my communication.

(Communication Keys for Success Below!)

Does It Work?

Do you keep expecting a different result?
Are you stuck on criticism and negativity?
Do you want to see the reaction in others?
Do you ever ask, “Is this working?”

It is insanity to keep doing the same thing expecting a different result?
When we say the same thing again and again, we are nagging.
When we start yelling to get attention, we are not listening.
When we believe making people feel afraid or hurt is helpful, we are crazy.

It is time to discover what actually works.
If what we are doing does not work, it is time to stop.
We can learn new ways to be helpful and effective.
We can change our mind easily because we are wise.

Let’s be creative about what works.
Let’s learn to observe our communication methods.
Let’s watch to see the response in others.
Let’s notice how effective we can be.

More often than not, people like to be loved and appreciated.
Usually our family members like smiles, not frowns.
Most people want pleasant tones of voice rather than shouting.
Usually children like to be encouraged rather than scolded.

When people use crude words or rude behavior, most feel disrespected.
When parents use put downs, shaming or blaming, children feel unloved.
When couples yes, criticize or speak badly to one another, they feel bad.
We each can look for what will work.

Learn to speak and behave with respect.
Choose to listen to one another.
Give quiet focused time to any important sharing.
Treat others as you want to be treated.

What works is thoughtful communication.
What works is being positive with your words.
What works is caring enough to be calm in speaking.
What works is being helpful and encouraging.
What works is loving yourself enough to always give your best.
What works is looking for the underlying good intentions.
What works is valuing the attempt to do better.
What works is being present and caring for others.

Life is for giving……so always give your very best.
Wanting only the best for us all,
Loving You, 
Betty Lue

Successful Communication Keys:

    Calm tone of voice and be on the same level.
    Ask permission to speak
    Tune in to where they are with desire to understand.
    Give what will create the greatest safety and respect.
    Talk with kindness and in private.
    Step away until both parties are calm.  Use time-outs as needed.
    Defuse the stress, urgency and upset, before attempting to talk.
    Be clear when you don’t have time or patience to listen.
    Write communication to avoid confrontations and arguments.
    Allow all parties time to think about their needs and possible equitable solutions.
    Encourage using “I feel….., I want…… and I am willing………
    Seek cooperative agreement, rather than punishment, threat or demand.
    Open your heart to understand (“Walk in their shoes”)
    Choose an outcome where everyone wins.